Go peddle your crazy somewhere else.

"Thank you for calling the Undisclosed Customer Service Center� my name is blah blah blah..."

CUSTOMER: It doesn't say po.cket pc on it, but it is a poc.ket pc.
ME: Just because it fits in your pocket does not make it a poc.ket pc.

XP TECH: My name is Kumar from xp support...
ME: (deadpan)Congratulations.
XP TECH: (I have stumped him, he pauses) Yes. This person got through without a case number.
ME: Not suprised, half the center is without tools.(we have procedures for that, you send them through and tell them the tech will create the case, its not brain surgery)
XP TECH: Can you create a case for me?
ME: Nope, not your secretary. --CLICK--

Woman locked out of her computer, forgot her password.

ME: We don't break, bypass or work around passwords, we can only help you format and reinstall.
CUSTOMER: But I will lose all my data.
ME: Yes, that is the purpose of the password, to protect the data.
CUSTOMER: But it is my data.
ME: We have no way to verify over the phone that it is you, sitting in front of your computer.
CUSTOMER: I can get my son on the phone.
ME: Sorry.
CUSTOMER: This sucks, you suck. (nice)
ME: Look at it this way, if someone were to steal your computer and we helped them break the password. They get all your info, steal your identity, apply for credit cards, ruin your credit. Who are you going to sue? Him or us?
CUSTOMER: I would never sue anyone!
Your American aren't you? Does it look like I just fell off a turnip truck?

After giving customer the option for paid support.

CUSTOMER: Ok, but can the tech fix this.
ME: If he can't he will refund the money.
CUSTOMER: But you can't tell me if he can fix it.
ME: I am not a tech, but if he can't he will refund the money.
CUSTOMER: I can't believe they don't have techs answering the phones.
ME: We all have our jobs.
CUSTOMER: And you know nothing about the software?
ME: If I did, we wouldn't be having this conversation.
CUSTOMER: Jesus, even the cashier at the grocery store knows about the milk.
ME: Ya, but she has no idea about the cow.

After informing customer they were running pirated software and there was no support for him. I was in a mood.

CUSTOMER: I am not getting a warm, fuzzy feeling about the Undisclosed Computer Software Company�
ME: I am pretty sure they are not too crazy about you either.
CUSTOMER: I think I will just junk this pc and buy a m.ac.
ME: Fill your boots. --CLICK--

That is like saying, I am not buying cars anymore, I am going to buy ice cream instead. You still have to drive to the ice cream parlor. We are a software comany, we don't give a shit what hardware you buy, you will still need the software. And by the way, our software company actually has a stake in that hardware company, so you would be doing us a favor. We might actually get a couple bucks out of you for a change. Crayon.

And another thing...

Just have to tell you about Jennifer.

It's a quiet Saturday night at the Undisclosed Customer Service Center�, the CSR next to me is trying to explain to the customer that we are closed and all the XP techs have gone home. Yes, she says, we are still here, we are professional agents and we deal with servers, that sort of thing, but XP is closed.

You can hear this woman screaming. I tell the CSR, "Just hang up." So she does.

Now we have really done it. This is the sort of person who will call back, over and over. They think that if they rant and rave that somehow we can turn back the hands of time and the techs would actually be there.

From a couple of rows down I hear, "Kay's got a screamer." On the weekends it gets boring and these types of people break up the menotony. I think, cool, hope I get her next. And I do.

CUSTOMER:"I WANT TO SPEAK TO KAY!"
ME: "Excuse me?" Faking innocence.
CUSTOMER: "I WANT TO SPEAK TO KAY!"
ME: I am sorry, I don't know who Kay is. May I help you.
CUSTOMER: FINE YOU CAN GET ME KAY'S SUPERVISOR, SHE JUST HUNG UP ON ME!
ME: I can certainly get you a supervisor, but since I have no idea who Kay is I don't know who her supervisor might be.
CUSTOMER: GET ME ANY SUPERVISOR, I HAVE BEEN DENIED SERVICE!
ME: Sure, I will need your name and phone number.
CUSTOMER: I WILL NOT GIVE YOU MY NAME, I HAVE A CASE AND I HAVE BEEN DENIED SERVICE! (I can't understand why, you are such a sweet and reasonable person)
ME: May I have your case number?(She uses her best snotty voice and I bring up the info.)
ME: Is this Jennifer?
CUSTOMER: YOU WILL NOT ADDRESS ME AS JENNIFER!
ME: I need to verify that this is the right case, is this Jennifer?
(This is where she loses her mind. She starts screaming so loud that she is going horse.)
CUSTOMER: YOU WILL NOT ADDRESS ME AS JENNIFER, YOU WILL ADDRESS ME AS MRS. LOWENBOWSKI.
(evil grin)
ME: You are going to have to calm down and keep this professional ... (pause for effect) Jennifer.
(I can imagine that her head is spinning around and she is barfing pea soup.)
CUSTOMER: I TOLD YOUUUUUUUUU!(she is screaming and holding the note)NOT TO ADDRESS MEEEEEE AS JENNIFER, YOU WILL ADDRESS MEEEEEE AS MRS. LOWENBOWSKIIIIIIIIIII. I WANT YOU TO SAY MY NAME, SAY IT, SAY IT, WHAT IS MY NAME? SAY IT, SAY IT, SAAAAAAAAAY ITTTTTT!
ME: (Slowly...) "Jennifer?"
More screaming, but it's getting boring, so I hang up.

Makes you wonder about natural selection, don't it?

Save your breath.

The mood at the Undisclosed Customer Service Center� has changed. So has my attitude with customers. I have heard myself saying these things and so far no one has called me on it. Sometimes I don't think they are even listening. I think our days are numbered.

"Thank you for calling the Undisclosed Customer Service Center� my name is blah blah blah..."

Customer: "Thank God you speak English!"
Me: "Don't get used to it."

Customer: "Please don't send me to India."
Me: "Then stop stealing software and the big giant head will stop trying to save a buck."

Customer: "I can't understand a word they say."
Me: "Give it time, you will have lots and lots of practice."

Customer: "Thank God I finally reached an American."
Me: "Sorry Sir, I am Canadian."
Customer: "Same thing." And they wonder why the big giant head does not give a shit if they complain about India, since they can't locate it on the map there is no fear of retribution.

Customer: "Three hours wait time? That's ridiculous."
Me: "Yes, but we do have really great hold music."
Customer: "Really?"
Me: "No, sorry, couldn't do it to you. But it is inspirational."
Customer: "Inspirational?"
Me: "Ya, more than one person has called back in and said, 'I was on hold for an hour and fixed it myself.'"

Customer: "I don't want to pay for support!"
Me: "Ok, thanks for calling the Undisclosed Customer Service Center�, have a nice day" --CLICK--

I think I am just tired of sugar coating it for these crayons. Tired of regurgitating the company line...the "Undisclosed Computer Software Company� is a global company and I am unable to determine where your tech support might be located." Yes I can, its in India.

What I really want to tell them is.

The Undisclosed Computer Software Company� has no intention of taking your opinions into consideration. Yes, I realize that you can't understand a word the tech is saying and he is not listening to you either. He is reading from a script and if you interrupt him he just has to start over. If you had any brains at all you would go to the self help website and read the script yourself. Save yourself some aggravation.

No, they will not give a shit if you complain. They will just say you are racist and get rid of all the 'English as a first language' agents so you are less inclined to complain about it.

Bottom line is, they pay agents in India 13,000 rupee a month (that's about 300 bucks American) to give you free tech support. They don't really need you to be satisfied, since there is not a serious contender out there as an alternative to the software they produce.

Yes, I have heard a lot of you say, "I think I will just throw out this PC and get a M.ac." Give 'er. Oh, and good luck finding software that is not produced by the Undisclosed Computer Software Company. Ya, and Lin.ux? Please! You can't manage to figure out what right click means, you are not switching to Lin.ux. I know that and the big giant head knows that, he is not worrying about the kids college fund.

Last year, our center was rated number one for customer satisfaction. The Undisclosed Computer Software Company� couldn't say enough good things about us. We were the best thing since sliced bread. They even sent us to India to train their agents there.

So, what does the Undisclosed Customer Service Center� do? Why, they change our metrix requirements, make it impossible to give good customer service. They say, "You did such a great job with 6 minute calls, now let's see you do it in 4." Oh, let's not forget they added 15 extra things that must be done within that 4 minute call. All of which, if not done are punishable. "Oh and we are going to screw with your schedules, less hours, maybe change your schedules weekly so you never know when you are working so you will have to be off work if you can't get a babysitter. By the way if you don't show up we will punish you. And we have also come up with a few hundred other menial things that we can punish you for, like eating candy at your desk." When I first joined the company, I was promised the FISH! Philosophy. And now? You will not find one fish on the production floor.

"But keep a smile on your face, go that extra mile for the customer, let them know you care. One more thing, we realize that you have been constantly cleaning up the messes that the agents in India have created, good job. As a reward, we are going to hire more Indian agents and cut your numbers in half. We really can't understand why moralle is so low. After all we let you spin our customer satisfaction wheel for your chance to win a ball point pen. Yes we are a fortune 500 company, what's your point?"

It's almost like they are trying to sabotage the center so they can move all the customer service to India. Which makes good business sense, I guess. Since they have no real concerns about losing customers.

Guess that's how the big giant head got so big.

Houston....we have railings.

Finally got a new deck, no more heart in the throat trying to climb the stairs of death.

Again, I am no Marlin Perkins.

Those of you who remember when my cat 'Oscar' had kittens are already aware of this fact. But yesterday, my gerbils, Jay and Silent Bob, became the proud parents of three.

And another thing...

For those of you playing along at home. Another possible sign of the apocalypse.

The boys father said these words, unprompted. "Do you and your mother need anything?" and then promptly passed over the child support.

Don't buy any green bananas.

My boyfriend's back!

The Boy is back.

That little experiment did not go well. The boy was not happy there, and it showed. Although the father did nothing to make it more enjoyable, he was upset that it didn't miraculously work out.

I called him from work last night. When I asked him how it went, telling the boy he would be moving home, he said, "It was the hardest thing I ever had to do." And God help me, I felt sorry for him.

Despite the fact that, for the last 14 years, that man has been treating me like I punched him in the face yesterday, I found myself saying, "At least you tried, everything will work out." (did I just say that?) I told him that spending more quality time together, just the two of them, might turn out better than trying to live together.

I also steered him away from blaming it on the fact that the girlfriend and the boy did not get along. "You can't expect her to, out of the blue, have to deal with a 14 year old that is not hers." (You know the boy has said, at least once, "Your not my mother.") There is a lot more to it but I really hope they don't let this episode come between them.

Anyway, I hope he can keep up the quality time. Right now, they are on their way to work together, just the two of them. I think this will work out better.

Sympathy vs. Empathy.

We have signs all over the place that say, "Remember Empathy". It does not, however say, look it up in the dictionary. That said, I will explain the difference between Sympathy and Empathy.

Sympathy is an emotional affinity in which whatever affects one correspondingly affects the other, and its synonym is pity. Translation: I care about what happens to you and it effects me deeply.

Empathy is a feeling of concern and understanding for another's situation or feelings. Translation: I know what your going through....I just don't give a shit.

Deal with it.

Get in my belly!

Just had to post this.

On my way home from work, I picked up a donair. For those unfamiliar with the product, it is spiced beef on a pita with sweet creamy sauce. And this one is as big as my head.



MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

Update

This took me 3 sittings to consume. I think I am good for at least a year.

Bat Shit!

Ever hear of someone going bat shit? I have heard of it but until tonight I had never personally witnessed such a thing. I suppose you can't really say I witnessed it, since I was the one doing it.

Me and the boy were watching a movie, when out of the corner of my eye I see a small moving shadow. At first I thought it was a fly, so I swished it. Then I saw it again. This is when I went bat shit. I looked up and saw this circling the living room.



I quickly pulled the blanket over my head, informed the boy of the intruder and promptly left him in the dust as I bravely dove into the bathroom. I then proceeded to heroically instruct the boy from a crack in the door. KILL IT!

I felt just like George Dubya.

After the boy did hand to hand with the beast for a few minutes, I thought of opening the door so the thing could escape. Much preferable to the boys plan of beating it to death with a fly swatter.

Floating. Sounds better than it is.

I am on a new shift now, the evil geniuses at the Undisclosed Customer Service Center? have shaken up the whole shift preferencing thing so much so no one knows if they are getting screwed or not. There are some crazy shifts, different start times, different days off. Crazy for the people with kids.

Speaking of which, the boy is starting to think that maybe living with the father is not such a good idea. He is here 3 or 4 times a week. And its not as though they have really made him feel welcome, they haven't let him decorate the tiny room they gave him, won't let him have cable in the room, hell, they haven't even given him a key to the house. Took him home the other night and the door was locked. This was after I had called to tell them I was bringing him home after the movies. The good news is that my sister has basically moved in with the boyfriend, so his room is available. We will see how long he can hold out.

My new shift is 5pm - 1am 'floating' days off. Sounds like fun, don't it? Not so far. Can't really plan anything too far in advance, and that includes vacations. I never know from week to week what days off I have. It's always a surprise!(one way to look at it)But I guess I can't complain, at least I have a job, for now.

I think I might apply for a TM position on the new project, but there is no way I am going frontline for less pay. They don't pay me enough now to talk to these crayons, I don't want to have to talk to sick crayons.

The evil continues.

They continue to stir up the pot. They closed down a number of cubes in the tech department. And the most evil ploy of all? They brought in Pizza!

It is an ongoing joke at the Undisclosed Customer Service Center� free food is a harbinger to bad news, and hot food means certain disaster.

We are all just biting our nails waiting for the chafing dishes to appear in the lunch room.

A well oiled machine?

A lot happening at the Undisclosed Customer Service Center�. I will nutshell it for you. Huge push for new hiring in the tech division. Sounds good, right? Then they tell us in Pro that they are changing our job classification to part time. They may, at some point, have to reduce our hours, so this is in preparation of that. This of course has nothing whatsoever to do with hiring a group of pro agents in India. HMMMM? But hey, we can transfer to tech, that would guarantee us full time. They save money, and fill the tech void.

That was last week.

This week, there is a new client for the Undisclosed Customer Service Center�. An 'exciting' new opportunity. Ya right! Start off on the ground floor of this new project. Oh, did I mention the pay is at ground floor too? Ten minutes later, the tech group is cutting hours. They are over-staffed 75 agents. HMMMM? But you can transfer to the new project. Coincidence? They need 200 people for the new project. Plenty of jobs to go around.

Here is where it is evil genius. You need 200 people for a new project, at base pay. Scare the shit out of the agents you have, make them think they may be losing their jobs, or at the very least, their hours. They panic and jump to the new project at reduced wages.

Then, "OH, I guess we really didn't have to reduce the workforce in tech. My bad." Hire off the street at base wage to fill the spots left by the transfers. Fill the new project, save a shitload of money. The end.

Like I said, a well oiled machine.

Over there.

So we are expecting a visit from representatives of the Undisclosed Computer Software Company� on Tuesday. They will be listening to calls and what? Doing something about the customer complaints about service in foreign countries? Not fucking likely.

Most likely it's all for show. Make it look like they give a shit, when all they really care about it that the foreign country call center costs them a fourth of what ours cost them. Never mind that customers complain they can't understand a word they say, that half of my job consists of fixing the shoddy job that they do. The cases created incorrectly, the cold transfers without cases who don't even end up in the right department.

Customer of the Undisclosed Customer Service Center� typically now speak to 4 or 5 different departments before ever reaching the one they need, when one agent and one tech are all they should ever speak to. Something tells me that that will not change anytime soon.

No matter how well we do our job, no matter how high our customer satisfaction surveys are, the bottom line will be what drives the decisions. I can see the future and it consists of all customer service being handled by our favorite foreign country.

Done, done and done!

As promised, pictures of the new paint job on the kitchen. My sister protested the blue, so I told her, "For the 5 minutes you are here everyday, you can avert your eyes."

It took me 2 days, most of that time was on trying to get the f'ing hardware off so I could remove the cupboard doors. They had been painted over so many times that you couldn't even see if there were screws in them or not.

My back is killing me, and I can no longer feel my fingers, but I think it turned out ok.







PS: Ignore the dirty dishes, I am.

New Pope

I really thought for sure this would drag out. After all Pope John Paul II changed the rules of the conclave to make it less taxing on the cardinals.

In 1996, John Paul instituted several rule changes, including one allowing the election of a new pope with a simple majority if the cardinals take more than 10 days to choose a successor.

The cardinals -- who are forbidden to leave until they elect a new pope -- used to sleep in tiny, makeshift cells set up around the Sistine Chapel. If the conclave came during the summer, there was no air conditioning to protect them from the stifling Roman heat.

"They were essentially locked into a heat trap to get them to make a decision,'' said John-Peter Pham, a former Vatican diplomat. "It's almost cruel to do that to men in their 60s and 70s.''

Since 1978, the Vatican has built new lodgings for the princes of the church.

"It's essentially a luxury hotel,'' Pham said. "Each elector has his own suite and his own thermostat. The possibility exists for a long conclave.''

Very interesting that it took less than 2 days.

And the winner is?.......................Joseph Ratzinger, 78, of Germany.
And what name will he take?....................Benedict XVI, hmmm interesting choice, Benedict XV was a moderate.

I have to say, he looks good for 78. They say he actually campaigned for the job. Which is good I suppose. Nice to have someone who actually wants the job, and he was a popular choice among the cardinals, winning on the forth ballot.

It will be interesting to see if he will be as popular and as effective as John Paul II.

Anyone have any opinions?

Abracadabra!

"Thank you for calling the Undisclosed Customer Service Center� my name is blah blah blah..."

It was a technician in Operating system support. He tells me that he has just formatted this ladies computer and she wants to install her office program.

Ok, simple, she just needs to be redirected to office techs.

"Ya, here's the thing. The office disk is 5 hours away from her current location."

WTF? "And you of course told her that that was impossible, right?"

He starts to laugh. "She says there has to be a way."

"Sure there is, it's called MAGIC!" We chuckle some more, I have to talk to this crayon. "Put her on, I will take care of it, she might be installing off a company server."

Right off the bat we establish it will not be installed off the server. "Do you have the disk, Kathy?"

"No it is at the office, but there must be a way. It says on the website that you can restore."

"Well, unless you are magic, there simply is just no way." She didn't appreciate that comment.

Now she is snotty, "It says on the website that you can restore it, if it says you can on the website then you can."

"Yes you can, but you have cleaned the hard drive so there is nothing to restore. You have taken that computer back to the beginning of time. A time when the office did not exist on that computer, so without the disk there is no way you can install the office. You have to have the actual disk to install software."

In her most sarcastic, snotty voice, "Is there some reason I am NOT talking to an office tech right now?"

Bitch! "None whatsoever. I will transfer you over to an office tech." Who will explain to you why you are NOT MAGIC you f'ing crayon!

Sp p p p p p it it out!

Five minutes to the end of my shift. The phone rings, my last call.

"Thank you for calling the Undisclosed Customer Service Center� my name is blah blah blah..."

I ask the customer for his first and last name.

"Em em em em em em em an an n n n n n uel K k k k k k k k k k k k k ...."
Holy shit! Please tell me the problem is with the phone.

Ok, let's go at this another way. "Could you spell that for me?" He spells it perfectly without stuttering. The phone number comes out flawlessly too. Perhaps it is a sporatic thing.

"And how can I help you tonight, Emanuel?"

No such luck. This man take 5 minutes to spit out that his server is hanging and for the life of me I cannot fathom how I know that is what he said. But when he painfully spit out "do you know what I mean" I paraphrased and he said, quite baffled, "Yes!"

Unfortunately, I would not be the person helping him solve this problem. And he would most likely be talking to someone in India. I cringed thinking about his immediate future.

"Is this causing company wide work stoppage, Emanuel?"

"Y y y y y y y y y y y y y y y y y y y y y y y y y e s s s s s yes."

Good Lord! This man is in charge of getting tech support for a company that is losing money hand over fist. Now, I don't think this man has just this second developed this stutter, so what possessed him to call me. For the same reason I do not attempt brain surgery, this man should not be calling in for phone support.

By the time we got to the payment options it was 25 minutes later (typical call takes 4-5 minutes) and I was not going to suffer another minute, by this time I was banging my head on the desk.

"Your in luck, Emanuel, the tool I use to process credit card charges just went down....blah blah blah it's free." Actually I hit the little X to close the window, but that is our little secret.

The sad part is, the techs in India, will not even try and help him. They will figure out a way to pass him around till he gives up. That is their MO.

For those who are interested.

I typed out the article about the hockey thing so those who are interested can read it.

I've been published.

Well, we made the paper. Hope the New Glasgow parents were embarrassed. As well they should be.



The letter to the editor also prompted a reporter to write an article on the subject.



Time will tell if we get that apology or not.

The first step is admitting you have a problem.

My sister is a shop-a-holic. I am trying to get her in a 12 step program but she hasn't yet admitted that she has a problem.

She has been her about 3 weeks and has never, and I mean never, stepped through the door without a shopping bag in hand. And sometimes she walks through the door more than once a day. Dishes, dishes and more dishes cuz you never know when you may want to have 70 or 80 of your closest friends over for drinks.

I try and clamly (so as not to agitate her) explain to her that this is an apartment not a house. That at some point she will be forced to quit cold turkey when we run out of physical space for her purchases. She has already crammed as much as is humanly possible into her room and I know she is eyeing the living room.

Granted, she does buy some really nice things, and of course we have to throw out the old crappy things, my things, that they are replacing. Problem is, what happens when she moves out? I will end up with no furniture in the house.

Another problem is that weather is turning warmer and she can soon start buying for the outside of the apartment. The gleam in her eye when she looks at the deck is frightening. And what is worse, come summer, the deck will be larger, since the landlord plans to rebuild it. I may have to physically restrain her. You know, for her own good.

I see a multitude of potted plants in my future. Pray for me.

Heads will roll, ya sure, we'll see.

One of the bigwigs from the Undisclosed Computer Software Company� showed up last night and had a skip level meeting with some of the employees. He was not expecting what he got.

The employees let him have it, they bitched about all the bullshit that has gone on in the last year. They started out by telling him that a good percentage of people working there are looking for another job and would leave in a heartbeat. People just don't like working there anymore. The bitched about the seating, how everyone had to roam around looking for a place to sit, how they had to send people home so the night shift could sit. They bitched about the performance appraisals, how they were contradictory, how hard it was to meet the metric of the job and achieve a high level of customer satisfaction. How you never know week to week what shift you are going to be on. The list went on.

Half way through the meeting he took his Undisclosed Computer Software Company� hat off. One employee made sure he was writing it all down, and at the end of the meeting, asked him to read it back. He said he was sick of having meetings and nothing getting resolved. Needless to say the meeting went long.

Then he said something that shocked everyone. "Why haven't we heard from you before, if this has been going on for so long?" Everyone looked at each other, puzzled. "Wait a minute, are you guys aware of the website to contact the Undisclosed Computer Software Company� directly with your concerns?" Again, puzzled looks.

He was furious. "This stops today! A lot of this stuff I have to work through the proper channels to get resolved but the seating issue will be resolved today and every employee will be made aware of the website to contact us directly."

Not sure if any pro agents were in that meeting, perhaps we will get our chance tonight. Not like there is a chance in hell anyone will let me within 100 feet of that meeting, but a girl can dream can't she?

Reactions.

Woke up to this email. I had cc'd a copy of the Letter to the Editor to the email on the New Glasgow Minor Hockey Website.

Evel,
This is to acknowledge receipt of your e-mail and to let you know I passed it on to the Co-chair of New Glasgow Minor Hockey, Gilles Legere. It has also been forwarded to Paul Fraser,Communications Director of New Glasgow Minor Hockey.
Thank you,

I will let you all know how this pans out.

Trailer Trash, not just for trailers anymore.

The boy's team finished 3rd in the last tournament of the hockey season yesterday. They won the last game against a team that they never won against all year so it was doubly exciting. However, all was not fun and games and the parents of the other team showed a lot of us what not to do at a child's hockey game. Just thought I would post a copy of a letter I promptly sent to the editor of the local paper.

To the Editor:

I just have to write to express my disappointment and disgust at the conduct of the New Glasgow Bantam B parents at a recent tournament held Trenton this weekend.

I realize that things can get heated when you are routing for your favorite team but booing a 14 year old when he is receiving a medal is a bit beyond classless.

In two different games that Trenton had against New Glasgow, the New Glasgow parents showed poor taste and even poorer sportsmanship when they cheered a certain Trenton player when he got a penalty. Now, that can be chalked up to the heat of the moment during a tournament game,but after the games were over and the children were lined up to receive awards and medals, these parents went above and beyond tasteless.

As this particular boy was called up to receive his award, the New Glasgow parents booed him. I am sorry, but this just rubbed me the wrong way and if it had have been my son, they would have been hearing about this long before this letter was printed. What kind of an example are these people setting for their children? If I were the parent of this child I would demand an apology from the New Glasgow Minor hockey for the conduct of the parents at this tournament.

You know what? Even though it was not my son, I still demand it. Wrong is wrong, and they should be ashamed of themselves. We all signed contracts when our children were registered for hockey and they broke that contract.

The Fair Play Code of Ethics is to be followed by the PCMHA membership. Their own website states: Respect the Rules, Respect the Opponents, Respect the Officials and Their Decisions, Have Everyone Participate, Maintain Your Self-Control at all Times.

Clearly they do not practice what they preach.

Regards,

Evel Woman
Trenton Bantam B Parent

And how was your weekend?

It never gets old.

Just a little told ya so dance.

Michael is alive after a plane crash and he ends up pulling surprise, surprise, AJ out of the wreckage.

F...ing near snow blind.

And so it begins. The sister has moved in, and I come home the other night and she has moved things around. Ok, not a biggie. But she is starting to move everything. I told her to let me know before she moves me out of my room. I'll just wait till she goes to sleep and move everything back, sooner or later she will get tired of it.

I am a little different than her, I have things in certain places, not for aesthetic reasons but for pure functionality. For instance, she moved the baskets from the hall table and stacked them against the door, now I knock them over every time I come out of my room. They will soon find another home.

I also told her that the bathroom door needs to be kept shut. Not that I like it shut, or it looks better shut, or even that I want it shut. I told her it needs to be shut. Well this morning she found out why. The cat got in there and shredded the shower curtain. Let's say it together, shall we? "The door needs to be kept shut."

After she replaces a few dozen shower curtains, she might get it.

She also has some sort of eerie fascination with white, she replaced my navy blue shower curtain with a white one, blah, and my black coffee maker with a white one. Ditto for the wall clock and the clothes hamper. I swear, one more white piece of anything and I am going to throw up.

We might need to have a meeting. Or I could just get a can of red spray paint and paint while she sleeps.

How do you pronounce that?

Here at the Undisclosed Customer Service Center� you are given a case number to go through for technical support, they all start the same way, SRX, then the date and then 6 more numbers.

"Thank you for calling the Undisclosed Customer Service Center� my name is blah blah blah...may I have your first and last name please?"

Very pissed off, "ESS ARR EX, ZERO FIVE ZERO..."

Very calmly, "Thank you, and how do you pronounce that?"

Sometimes, rude people slay me.

The crazy cat sisters.

Well on my way to becoming one of the crazy cat sisters. My sister moved in with me today. Cat to follow. The boys room is officially rented.

It should be ok, since I work nights and she works days. We will not get on each others nerves too quickly.

She still has to get all her stuff out of her house, and hopefully the husband won't put up too much of a fight.

Fingers crossed.

S-H-M-I-L-Y!

SO, the boy has been gone for 3 weeks. I have to ask myself "how do I really feel about that"? Do I miss him? Or do I just miss the little boy that he was.

The kid who would write S-H-M-I-L-Y! (see how much I love you) in the butter and snicker when I found it.
The three year old who would stop what he was doing when 'our song' came on the radio and ask me to dance.
Who would play 'nap monster' with me, a game I devised at 7 in the morning when I wanted to sleep just a little longer.
The kid who loved 'tickle monster' because every single part of his body was ticklish.
The boy who would curl up on the couch with me, look at me all lovey-dovey, blow a big fart and laugh his ass off.
The kid who would learn a song on the guitar and hurry to play it for me.
The kid who wanted me to come to the skate park so I could watch him do his latest trick.

Now, he is a teenager. He doesn't want to talk to me about his day, he doesn't want me to know he has a girlfriend. He doesn't want me to drop him off right in front of the mall. He doesn't want me to kick anyone's ass on his behalf. He doesn't care if I show up at the hockey games. He rarely even calls, unless he wants something.

When did I become someone he endured?

I haven't seen SHMILY! in a long, long time.

I told you so.

Just want to go on record. Been watchin G.ene.ra.l H.osp.it.al off and on. Now I don't think I have to watch again till sweeps.

The whole kidnapping of Sonny's kids? It's AJ. He faked his own death, framed Courtney for it, got Faith to kidnap the kids and sent back all but Michael, his son. He gets revenge on them all, and gets his kid back. Mystery solved.

Now I can watch something else at 4. Any suggestions?

House or Barn edition?

"Thank you for calling the Undisclosed Customer Service Center� my name is blah blah blah..."

"Ya I kent git inta ma puta"

"What version of w.in.do.ws do you have sir?"

"I have a ipac with windas xp house."

I kid you not.

Fucked up the ass, and still no dinner.

Well I guess I needed more than luck. I needed my head examined for ever getting into this mess.

The psycho DID bitch sent her daughter to the hearing, since she knew she couldn't look me in the face and lie. The daughter says, "My stepfather starts chemo tomorrow and I didn't want them to be tired for that."

Turns out this woman has been in the rental property business for over 30 years. With me, she acted like this was the first time she was ever attempting anything like this. She totally snowed me. She knew exactly what to do. She asked me to leave on 5 days notice, and she said that we should have something in writing, she sent Art over to get me to sign a paper that said I agreed to vacate the premises. I signed it, because I did agree. But she never signed it.

So, because of that little piece of paper that I didn't even write, I was walking funny by the time I left there.

The director kept saying, why did you sign that paper?

Next time I think something is too good to be true, I will listen to myself and not others who tell me to go for it. What did I have to lose?

Well turns out because I left without giving a months notice that I could be liable for January and February rent as well as heat and lights for the property. But psycho bitches daughter says she will advise her mother to just let the whole thing go. Isn't she a peach? All I had to do was agree to drop my claim for the return of the damage deposit. She however did not have to agree to anything. Don't you just love the system working? Everyone gets fucked once and then they learn. So if this woman was in the business for over 30 years, you know she has seen a lot of pump action. So, I agree. I told the director, "I just want to be shut of those people."

I wanted to climb over the table and rip off her arm and beat her to death with it. I felt like saying, "Your mother's probably poisoning her husband, cancer my ass!"

Well I think I will just chauk this one up to experience, do my time with the huge L on my forehead for a while and move on and keep my back to the wall from now on.

Wish me luck.

I know I am getting pretty lame with this blog, but I hope to start updating daily very soon.

The boy is still with his father, and I don't expect he will be back. His father has told him that he will not ask me for child support. Not suprised since that would take effort.

Tomorrow I go to the tennancy hearing and hopefully I will get some of my money back from the psyco bitch. Wish me luck on that.

It's a thankless job, but mothers have to do it.

After 14 years of doing without for him, the boy has decided that he wants to live with his father. I don't blame him really. He is 14 and when you are 14 it is all about the money, and his father has it.

His father has not paid child support since October, when the boy first went to live with him while I found another apartment. Since then the boy has been back and forth, but when he would be home with me, his father wouldn't pay because he had been with him and I didn't pay. Then I would run out of money and the boy would have to go back, there was no way for me to catch up. He would stay with his father for a month, so his father would not pay cs for a month after he came back, by that time we were eating pb&j and the boy didn't like that and would go back to his dad's. It was a vicious cycle. If the boys father's intention was to make his place look like the better deal, he succeeded.

I know that the only reason the father wants him is so he doesn't have to pay child support. He is under the impression that I will be obligated to pay the same amount that he has had to pay all these years. He does not take into account that he makes 3 times as much as me. He is also under the false impression that he will also get the same amount in child tax credit, which is based on your income. I really can't wait to see his face.

The thing that pisses me off though, is that the father will take credit for how the boy turned out. At 14 he is already the person that he will turn out to be, so I am not worried that the father will ruin him, but he will take credit for it.

Anyone with children will tell you that they are a selfish and ungrateful bunch. Year after year I went without to provide for him, but the second his father coughed up forty bucks for a skateboard deck, he was an instant hero.

I have to say that I feel a little guilty for not being more upset. But there is not much I can do. He is 14, he can decide where he wants to live and I know that living with his father he will want for nothing. Well except, hopefully, me. And it is not like he has left the country, I can see him when his busy 14 year old schedule permits.

He was worried that I would be upset, but I told him that if it was something he really wanted that I was ok with it. I told him I loved him and was proud of him and that I would miss him.

That's what they say.

I realize after working for the Undisclosed Customer Service Center�, for almost two years, how wrong it is to assume. You know the saying 'makes an ass out of u and me' is so true.

Never Assume:

- everyone knows what 'right click' means.
- everyone knows what version of windows is on their pc.
- people who buy computers know what they are buying.
- people who pirate software know they are pirating software.
- you can reason with people who think Mi.cro.s.oft IS the internet.
- a person who would pay $1500 for a computer might be open to paying $35 to fix it.
- everyone knows the difference between install and download.
- everyone knows the difference between activate and register, even when they are reading the words off the screen.
- everyone knows the difference between hardware and sofware.
- anyone reads the end user license agreement on software.
- that if someone indicates they are a doctor/lawyer/candlestick maker that they will be in any way, shape or form any more reasonable than the chick who thinks Mi.cro.so.ft is taking over her computer. In fact the more educated the person the less likely they are to grasp the fact that you will not help them fix pirated software.
- that when you say "I am not a support professional and I am not technically trained" people will grasp the fact that I you are not technically trained!
- that everyone knows where to type in a URL.
- that support professionals will support you in any way or in any way be professional while not doing so.
- that when I say "have a nice day' I really give a shit about the day you have!

Have a nice day.

You just can't make this shit up.

"Thank you for calling the Undisclosed Customer Service Center� my name is blah blah blah..."

"Ya, I was working with a tech and he wanted me to format my hard drive and call back when I was ready to do a clean install."

I get the case number and am about to transfer when, just for shits and giggles, I ask, "And you have the windows disk?"

"No, I don't have a disk, is that a problem?"

No, of course not, we are magic.

What to do?

Not sure when the boy turned into this huge asshole, but he has. It wasn't gradual really, it was more the second he turned 13 it was over for us. Not sure what that is about.

He tells me NOTHING! He wants EVERYTHING! I'm not sure who he thinks he is but he is not growing up Gotti! He seems to think that miraculously I am making 100 grand a year, just because he wants.

His father is not making it any better. He didn't even bother getting the boy anything for his birthday this year. (the boy just turned 14 on Feb 3) Even though the boy was staying with him at the time. He says he didn't have time to pick anything up. Funny thing is, he had time to 'pick up' a big screen TV two days earlier, no problem. Unfortunately this is a problem because the boy is not a Moron. His father used to be able to pull this shit when he was 5, now he sees the big screen TV, he knows how much it cost, he knows that means his father has both money and time, just not the desire to shop for his birthday gift.

Sad really. Not sure what I am going to have to do. He keeps getting worse, he might need a slight attitude adjustment.

And then there was one.

We have a new member of the family, Milo.



He is the only cat I have now. As I was packing up to move out of the fated rent-to-be-fucked house Luci was hit by a car. She walked home on 3 legs. I took her to the vet (on a Sunday and holiday, $$ CHA CHING $$) and after a couple days of observation they said to me, "We will have to amputate the leg." Then the vet says something to me that I can't believe he did with a strait face, he used the words 'cat' and '$265' in the same sentence.

I am sorry. Fluffy may be cute and you may love Fluffy, but Fluffy is NOT getting a liver transplant. I had to have her put down. It was sad, but she obviously could not get out of the way of a car with 4 good legs, not sure what the vet intended her to do with 3.

Anyway, the Famous Oscar (remember the man cat who gave birth?) is also no longer with us. He had been staying at my brother's while I was looking for a new place and seems to have 'ran away'. We are sticking with that story anyway. The boy was very upset, so my sister gifted him with Milo for Christmas.



This cat is, for lack of a better word, nuts! He will jump at anything, throwing himself up against the wall. He refuses to leave the kitty litter in the box, choosing to kick most of it out before doing his business. Adele fixed his wagon and bought me a box with sides on it, he is very upset with it. He will walk up to you, very nonchalant, and just bite your leg and walk away. He refuses to let me take a bath alone, even after falling in a couple times he insists on sitting on the side of the tub and I have the shredded arm to prove it. He never met a lighter he didn't like to bat around the kitchen floor at 4 in the morning, his preferred play/flip out time. He is truly nuts!

Well here are the pics of the new place I promised you. It is very cozy, with slanted walls and cheesy wood paneling but I love it.



When it clears up I will take pictures of the deck, very nice.



You can do the 'Wonder Woman' dance in this bathroom, it is huge.





I removed the contact paper that was on the wall behind the sink, fake wood paneling. What was that woman thinking?



Dark paneling and an exposed chimney, kinda cool.

Where to begin?

I am writing this from a new apartment. That's right, a lot has happened. Since it is a long and drawn out story, I am going to copy and paste the text from the papers filed with the Residential Tenancy Board. (ya, it is not pretty).

- Woman at work is posting an ad for a house on the bulletin board. I tell her that if the person ever wants to rent-to-own to give me a call.

- About a month later, she gives me a note from the caretaker of the property. Own asked him to "find the woman interested in rent-to-own".

- Conversation with Caretaker: we discuss the rent-to-own arrangement. How I would rent to own for a year and after that the owner would put the rent from that year into a down payment for a mortgage. He gives me the owner's number for me to call and discuss it with her and make an arrangement to go see the house.

- Meet at the house with my sister and my son. We discuss rent to own and the possibility of me obtaining a mortgage within the year. She also indicates that her daughter must move out of the house and that she wants someone in there as soon as possible so the house is not empty.

- Over the next month, Helena and I have numerous conversations. In every one of them we discuss the different options in obtaining a mortgage sooner than one year but always end conversation with "if I don't get approval we can start the rent-to-own thing" meaning, no matter what I would move into the house when her daughter moved out in December.

- Had two meetings with Joanne at CIBC to investigate mortgage possibilities. She suggest that I go with the rent-to-own, because after a year I would not need a down payment, that the bank would consider the rent payments, which have to be so much over the going rate, as an investment in the property and I could take that year to save up for the legal fees. I open up two accounts at CIBC to this end.

- I talk to Helena about the meeting with CIBC and she says that she is going to talk to her bank, that maybe she can help speed up the process.

- Helena?s banker suggests going through a broker to obtain a mortgage and gives us a name. I contact the broker and she investigates possible mortgage companies.

- Helena suggests that she tells the mortgage company that she is my 'aunt' and that she is gifting me with the down payment, she also offers to pay all the legal fees. She just wants to be rid of the house and appears to be willing to do anything to that end. Even at this point all conversations end with us agreeing to begin the rent to own no matter what.

- It is getting close to the date her daughter is moving so we discuss the financials for moving in on a rental basis. We agree to $675/mo and since it will be the middle of the month when I move in we agree to half months rent and half months damage deposit. Move in date is set for Dec. 13/04. Within the week I meet with her daughter to sign purchase and sale agreement.

- I show up on the 13th and she is cleaning carpets and having the furnace serviced. I won't be able to move in. This is a set back because my son has been living with his fathers and he is literally waiting on the doorstep with his belongings, he cannot stay another day. I have to take him with me to my brothers to stay the night; it is very traumatic for both of us.

- December 14, show up to get key. Helena has lease for me to sign. I admit I did not read it fully. I give her a check for $675 dated for Dec. 17/04 (my pay day). After I sign it she tells me that there is someone else interested in purchasing the house. I am stunned but at this point my things are out of storage and literally on their way to the house. My son's things are piled in the car with nowhere else to go. She tells me not to worry that the man interested in buying the house wants it as a rental property. I tell her that I hope he doesn't think I will be paying $675 because that amount was agreed to because of the rent to own option. She says I can work that out with him. She also says that if this guy does buy that she will return this payment of $675. But if I get approval for a mortgage it would be a moot point anyway.

- I hear from one of the brokers. She has approval for a 65% mortgage. She says that payments on the other 35% would be worked out between the owner and me. She tells me that after a year the mortgage would be refinanced and the owner paid out at that time. This seems reasonable to me.

- I inform Helena of this. She says to me, "I couldn't agree to that" I ask her why not? It is better than the original rent to own agreement, at least this way she would receive 65% up front. She replies with, "Oh no, I would never agree to rent to own." All I can say is "are you kidding me?" I am floored. It is right before Christmas, I am not even unpacked and I am looking at $675/mo rent on a house she is now telling me she never had any intention of selling to me. There is also no oil in the tank and I am having to get my brother to deliver it in jugs because I can?t afford to have it delivered from an oil company because they have a min delivery which I can't afford right before Christmas. On top of this, Caretaker brings the potential new owners in to see the house.

- I try in the next week to contact Helena; I can't stay in this house for this amount of rent if there is no possibility that I would end up owning it. She does not return any of my calls. Christmas eve comes and I have nothing for my son, I am tapped out and Christmas is looking grim. I check the bank and see that Helena has not cashed the check yet, so I take out $100 of it, since it is Friday night, I know the check won?t go through till Monday and I have plans to put that money back before then. Unfortunately on Christmas day the car breaks down and I have to have it towed.

- Helena calls me on Monday, (Dec. 27) she tells me the check bounced. I start to explain and she says that perhaps if I can?t afford the place that I should move out and that we should both just forget the whole thing. I agree that it is a good idea. She tells me I have to be out by the first of the month. She is also concerned about the heat and the possibility of the pipes freezing. I tell her that I will put oil in the tank before I leave.

- Dec. 28/04 I have 300L of oil delivered. ($210.11)

- Caretaker comes by with a note for me to sign saying I will 'vacate the premises' by the first of the month. Because of the holiday we revise the date until the 3rd. I give him the receipt for the oil so that Helena won't have to worry about the pipes. At this time I discuss with the caretaker the fact that Helena is now claiming that she never intended to rent to own with me. He tells me that her exact words to him were, "find the woman that was interested in renting to own", he apologizes for the whole mess.

- I move out on Dec. 3rd the place is clean and undamaged. I chalk the whole thing up to experience.

- Jan. 13/04 - Helena cashes the check dated Dec 17/04, the one she told me bounced. It did not bounce; at this point I am not sure if she really intended to do this so I give her the benefit of the doubt.

- I start calling her on her cell phone and her home phone. I get no response, and after about an hour her cell phone is turned off. I leave 2 messages on her home phone.

- Jan 14/04, still try and call her home phone until 4pm when I have to go to work.

- Jan 15/04 ? call her home phone at 9:30am. Get the message "the party you are trying to reach has chosen not to take calls at this time, please hang up." She is blocking my calls.

- That night I get the caretaker to call her to find out her intentions. He speaks to Helena's husband, Jack. Jack tells him that yes they intended to cash the check and they also have no intention of giving any of it back to me. That if I wanted to go to the tenancy board to do what I had to do.

And yes it gets better. I file the papers with the tenancy and find that she has made application to keep the damage deposit. Her reason? I abandoned the property without giving a months notice. So she wants to keep the damage deposit to apply to January's rent and wants me to pay the balance.

I know, I had the same look on my face as you do right now. Luckily I have no idea where she lives or I would be blogging right now from a jail cell.

We will see how it all turns out. My sister would have had a nervous breakdown, but the way I look at it? If it doesn't turn out? I will chalk it up to experience. I am not going to have a stroke over the whole thing.

I have to say, I really love the new apartment. I moved in sight-unseen practically but when I stepped into the bathroom, prepared to lament the loss of the footy tub, I had to catch my breath. The tub is even bigger and I had not thought that possible, but you can drown a 7 foot man in that tub. I love it.

The apartment is very cozy and spacious at the same time. The stairs would scare the average bear, but they are great for the thighs. I will get some pics up here in a few days as soon as I find the batteries for the camera.

Well I should post this before it is so long that no one dares read it, I will have to save the "three blizzards in the span of a week" conversation for another time.

Don't ya just love winter?

AHHHHHH!

That is much better.

Ok, I have a lot to catch you up on, but at the moment I have to go make some money.

Stay tuned!

I'm Back!

Back up and running, soon to be back to normal. Just as soon as I figure out how to utilize the webspace.

Film at 11.

My Bad!

I know, I know, I haven't been blogging in a while. No I am not dead, just internet-less. Blogging at work is hard but today is a very slow day.

On the house front, I am all moved in. However, the woman that owns the house has turned out to be (as I had suspected) a psychopath or at the very least suffers from Disassociative Identity Disorder.

The Canadian Tire mortgage fell through because the house was too old and only had 60 amp service. So the next mortgage the broker offered me was a 65% mortgage and another personal loan for the 35% between me and the owner. She refused it. I told her it was better than the original plan we had for rent-to-own for a year, at least she would have 65% up front. And after a year they would refinance the mortgage and pay her off. And then she said something that made me suspect the DID. "Oh I would have never agreed to rent-to-own."

Excuse me but could I talk to the other personality that I have been dealing with all along? Turns out she had an offer on the house. The guy was interested in buying it as a rental property. How much you wanna bet that having someone in the house renting was a selling point for DID woman?

But I think it may be a good thing. Considering the 60 amp service that would have to be upgraded to 110 in order for me to get insurance for the house. After the conversation with DID woman, I went upstairs to dry my hair and proceeded to blow the fuses for the entire second floor of the house. Perhaps a sign from God. That turned out to be the tip of the iceberg on this house.

I won't get into it, but the plan is now: If I can renegotiate the rent ($675 nothing included) with the new owner to a reasonable amount I will stay on. But if not I already have another place lined up around the corner that is $425/mo heated. In this neck of the woods that is dirt cheap rent. The only down side is moving twice in two weeks. The helpers might rebel.

My banker on the other hand is happy this did not work out. She says that if I wait a year, I can get preapproved for a mortgage and find the place I want instead of the first one that is available to me. Good plan, I think I will go with it.

Hope you all have a good Holiday, keep your stick on the ice.

You might be a redneck!

Got in touch with a mortgage broker and she came up with a couple different mortgages I can go with. I chose...drum roll please.

Canadian Tire. You heard me. Canadian Tire actually offers mortgages. Here's the kicker. You get $400 back in Canadian Tire money.

You might be a redneck if you get your home financed at Canadian Tire.

Way cool.

House Update.

I decide to go to the bank and see if I can assume the mortgage for the house. The banker tells me I am 100 points away from qualifying for a no down payment mortgage. Shit! But she says this is good news. She wants me to rent-to-own for a year at which time I will not need a down payment. And that year will give me time to save up for the legal fees.

I relay this info to the owner of the house, "I am going to talk to my banker, I think there is a way around this." Ok, whatever she wants.

She calls me back yesterday, "Good news, I am going to write a letter saying I am your Aunt and gifting you the down payment."

"But I still need to save for the legal fees."

"Bah! Couple thousand dollars, I will pay the legal fees."

She is starting to freak me out. She is making it so I will pay nothing out of pocket. Too good to be true? Maybe, but I have nothing to lose, so I am going for it.

I just know she will be hit by a bus or something before the papers are ever signed.

That was fun. Let's never do it again.

The storm is over and the power was restored yesterday. However, the internet just came back on a couple hours ago. Some people are still without power and are understandably pissed. Me, I was just happy I could finally take a shower.

After my harrowing journey home on Saturday night. I decided Sunday not to repeat the performance and stayed in town for the night. I went to stay with Donna, a friend from work.

The power was out everywhere so it was pitch black when we arrived at her home. We tried the front door and it was locked. Donna noticed a bag hanging on the doorknob, "I wonder what this could be?"

We make our way to the back door, feeling our way around the house, carrying this bag. The back door is also locked. We fish around in her purse and finally find the key, but it is for the front door. Back we go around to the front of the house.

Much slipping and toe stubbing later we finally get in the door. Feel around in the pitch black for candles, Donna says, "Hurry and light that candle so I can see what is in this bag." I light the candle, she reaches in the bag. Can you guess what it was? I just looked at her, "You old bat!" And we both double over in fits of laughter.

The landlord had hung a flashlight on the doorknob so we could find our way around in the darkness. It apparently hadn't dawned on her to actually feel the bag to determine what might be inside.

You know your old when...

And so it begins.

Dashing through the fucking snow. First storm of the season and it is a whopper. In a perfect world I would be sitting in the comfort of my home in front of a roaring fire. However, the Undisclosed Customer Service Center� is equipped with a generator so I had to drag myself out of Butt Fuck Nowhere and into work.

Last night as the storm was just getting started I decided I would try and make way home. It was a white knuckle ride all the way. The road was not plowed or salted and it appeared that only one other person had driven that road (thankfully) so I had to drive in tracks of that poor unfortunate. Hoping against hope that he at least made it as far as my house. The trees were so heavy with snow that they were laying across the road, leaving just enough room for my car to get through.

I know what you are thinking. "What the hell was she thinking?" Believe me I was asking myself the same thing as my battery was starting to go dead.

Luckily I did make it home and the car died in the driveway. My brother had to drive me into work tonight. I will not try that treck again in the nighttime. I will stay in town tonight.

Don't ya just love winter?

No longer homeless.....and this time I really mean it......I hope.

The boy and I (and sister) went to see the house today. We love it. Ok, I love it and sister loves it but the boy could care less.

It has a fireplace (that works) and a cast iron tub. You know, the kind with feet? The kind of tub us fat chicks can actually get wet in.

Sounded too good to be true. I, of course, told her I would get back to her later in the evening or tomorrow. We go outside, I ask my sister, "What do you really think?"

"I love it, I think you should go for it."

So, later I stew over it, and my sister-in-law says, "Go for it, it might turn out alright, and if it doesn't it doesn't." Hmmmmm, wise words, what is the worst that could happen?

So, I call the lady back, "I am going to go for it."

Well, she surprised me then. The woman wants to bend over backwards to sell me this house. She is calling her bank and seeing what we can work out. She says whatever she owes on the house is what I will pay, she is even going to come down on the rent. As long as she breaks even she is fine with it. She has already told her daughter to be out by December first. "I think you are in the same boat as my daughter was and I feel that no matter what it takes I want you to have this house."

I hope she is not blowing smoke up my ass. But we are meeting tomorrow, after she speaks with her banker, and finalizing things.

I will be in my own place for Christmas. Ye haw!

And another thing...

I can't believe I didn't post anything on my birthday (Nov 3rd). I am 39, holy shit, did I say that? I had a good one, among other little gifts, the security guard at work gave me a racey card and a toonie to get a coffee at Tim's. Gotta love it.

Gotta see a man woman about a horse house.

Meeting a woman tomorrow about the possibility of renting to own her house. Not sure if I can swing the $675/mo that she is looking for but it might be possible if I can convince my sister to come with me. It is 3 bedrooms really close to work so even if she won't consider it, I could take in a border from work.

She explained that after a year of renting, if I still wanted to buy, she would put all the monies she collected for rent against the down payment. Also there is the possibility of getting 100% financing from CMHC, I may look into that as well. I am just so tired of renting with nothing to show for it. This just might be the thing, I have a semi-good feeling about it.

Wish me luck.

Overheard.

Was talking to the boy on the phone and heard his father in the background.

"I can't stand this, I can't wait till he moves out and things are back to normal."

I know what you're thinking ladies, 'she let that prince slip through her fingers?'

I need to find an apartment fast.

From bad to worse.

Last week I had an apartment, for about 2 days. The landlord called and told me it was mine if I wanted it. It was on the same street as my old place, perfect I thought. Mind you it was for a lot more money but it was 3 bedrooms. Then the landlord's wife called me two days later to say she couldn't rent from me. She gave some lame excuse about me not leaving the place clean. I explained to her that the old landlord knew two months before that he was selling the place and at that time he had had a dumpster blocking my driveway for 3 months. He could have told me then and I wouldn't have had to leave so much junk behind, I could have thrown it out then. I also explained that the junk was neatly piled in the basement. It was hard to argue with and I knew there was something else she was wanting to say, then she comes out with.

"We have heard there has been problems with your son." WTF?

"My landlord told you that?"

"No, he said you paid your rent on time and that you were a good tenant, but we hear this from other people."

"What other people, what did they say? I have never had trouble with my son."

"I don't think we should discuss it."

What was going through my head was that I would like to argue with her a bit,then rip her head off and shit in her neck. Then I realized that she also lived in the building and I knew I didn't want to live there so all I said was, "Fine then, go fuck yourself." It was the only neighborly thing to do.

But I have to find a place soon. My son is absolutely miserable living with his father. I have to tell you what the asshole said, loud enough for me to hear through the phone. I was talking to the boy and heard his father talking to his girlfriend in the background, "I can't stand this, I can't wait till he moves out so things can get back to normal." Nice. What a prince. Hard to believe I kicked that one to the curb, eh?

All I could think of was, if I had killed him when I first wanted to, I would be out of jail by now.

The cat came back the very next day!

When I moved at the first of the month I found places for most of my cats, except for one. The crazy cat my mother saddled me with. I figured I could leave it behind for a bit since it wasn't an inside cat. The neigbor was feeding it and last week I finally found a barn for it. This is the cat that shits in the food dish if he can't manager to finish the food in one sitting. He is only fit for a barn.

Anyway, I get this stupid thing in a carrier and off we go to the barn. That was a week ago, last night, the old next door neighbor calls me. The cat came back she says, "I don't know how far he traveled but he is back."

Fuck me! This cat is going to be the death of me. Now I am having nothing but cat problems. The white cat, Luci, who is staying with my cousin refuses to go into the house. She will sit at the door and meow to get in, yet once the door is opened she refuses to cross the threshold. Oscar, the boy who had babies is MIA. My brother called and said he/she has been gone for 2 days. I guess I am just not meant to have cats, well, not cats I want at any rate.

Well it is super slow at work, but I can't afford to go home early. I have to find an apartment soon.

Country living bites!

Still not dead!

Just hybernating. I am sitting here at work, furtive glances over my shoulder, since it is not permitted to blog from work. Pretty slow here tonight. Not sure if I should try and recap all that went on since I moved out, or just go on from here,and post all that other shit later. Hmmmmm?

How about if I just grab the highlights and fill it in later when I am back online.

Camper living is ok, the boy got tired of it pretty quick, he only stayed the first weekend. It is getting a bit cold, but I bought a heater and all is well. I think I will have to actually look for an apartment soon. I am getting a lot of reading done, it is very quiet and peaceful. I barely turn the computer on anymore. I have a new toy, a Palm pilot, quite retro!

The country is nice but I am starting to get a little sick of it. And so is my sister, looks like I may be taking her with me when I go. She is secretly packing her shit. We went looking at houses today, she is definately not kidding around this time, at least I hope she isn't.

Well I think I have pressed my luck enough for one night. Hope you are all doing well, since I can't surf the net at home or at work.

Goodbye cruel world.

Ok, so here I sit. Another night in an almost empty apartment. I would have gone down to my sisters but the chair is still here thus, so am I. We started moving today and were about to drag the chair out when it began raining cats and dogs. So I get one more day with the internet. One more night to down load a few more movies and TV shows. One more day in the 21st century and then it is a couple months living in the boonies with dialup access. SHIT!

Anyway, Oscar and Boogers are at my brothers so Luci has decided that she will now enter the house. She has been totally freaked out since Oscar had babies and has been avoiding this place like the plague. A half hour after the cats were gone, she was lounging in the middle of the living room, looking very relieved. We will see how she feels once we stuff her in a box to take over to Sonny's. I can pretty much guarantee she will be pissed.

So, this is the last regular post for the blog. I will have to fight my sisters teenage son for internet access. Not that any of you will notice if the commenting is any indication I will probably be back before any of you realize I am gone.

Before I sign off, I still have quite a few GMAIL invitations if anyone is interested just email me.

All ashore who's going ashore.

First day of real moving activity. For the last month I have been packing and sorting and mostly throwing things out. I have gone through about 40 garbage bags.

You know, you don't realize how much 'junk' you accumulate until its time to move it. Things you thought you just had to keep become less desirable in the face of finding a box that it will fit in.

My brother came with his truck today and his bum leg and helped Kimmy and I move some of the larger stuff. Kimmy, I have found is a work horse. I have been packing and mostly tripping over boxes for a month, and an hour after Kimmy showed up the kitchen was cleaned and the boxes neatly packed in one corner. She had my kitchen table apart and everything standing at attention waiting to be marched out the door and onto the truck. I had to act quickly a couple of times to save all my clothes from ending up in storage. She was unstoppable. I was in awe. I really couldn't have gotten this far without her.

In other news, the boy's father refuses to take in the boy's cat. Even after I told him that if he didn't I would have to have it put down. Not even for a month, not even for his son. Asshole.

My cousin, Sonny, will take care of Luci, my older cat, till I find a place. The crazy one (my mothers cat) is on its way to a barn near you. But my sons cat? Well I told my brother about Oscar's situation and he offered to take care of him till we find a place.

This is also the brother that paid for the boy to go to hockey last year. For being such a pain in the butt little kid, my brother has turned into a pretty decent adult. And on his way out the door he says, "If you got a litter box, I'll take that one too." (pointing to Boogers) Sigh of relief.

So here we sit, Boogers and I, in the last remaining chair (sans cushions), with my computer in front of it on a TV stand. I should be down at my sisters but I am clinging to the internet for as long as I can. Stockpiling movies and TV shows to watch in the camper.

Looks like I will be sleeping in this chair tonight, but thank God I stopped Kimmy just in time before she loaded all the blankets and pillows into the truck.

Everyone has a right to my opinion.

Where to start? A lot has happened as far as work is concerned. Finally had it out with my TM. He failed me on a call coach. I never fail call coaches.

It was for an OS password. I told her that for security reasons we do not break, bypass or work around passwords. We could only help her reinstall and she would lose all data on the machine. He failed me for telling her she would lose her data. He asked a tech if the password could be broken and they said yes. However, whether they can do it or not is irrelevant, we are not supposed to do it, and any recovery of the data on that machine constitutes breaking the password. I fought it, I sent it to every TM in the joint and to the MO and I, of course, won. He changed it.

When I got back in the next day he brought me into the huddle room and we had it out. There was absolutely no diplomacy on my part, I am not one to hold back. I asked him if he had a problem with me to just spit it out. Don't hold back and I wouldn't either. An hour later we emerged. I think we are starting to see eye to eye.

So, tonight the MO comes over and asks to speak with me. We get into his office and he says, "Do you smoke?"

"Yes"

"Then what the hell are we doing here? Lets go for a smoke." As we are walking out people are staring, I say, "Hey why don't you swipe me out and I will tell everyone you fired me."

"Not funny." But he is laughing. We get outside and light up.

"I just wanted to get your take on how things are going. How the new TM's are shaping up."

"And your asking me?" The man is brave, hope he isn't looking for sugar coating.

"I ask you cuz I know you don't give a shit about hurting my feelings. You will just tell me how it is." apparently not looking for the sweetened or condensed version.

So I let him have it, everything that everyone was complaining about. The Q management, he said he would have a meeting with all TM's to make sure they truly understand the concept. Stupid things in the coaching tool that bring down our score, scripting problems,(he is working with the client to change this) lack of staffing on the evening and weekend shifts. Anything and everything I could think of. He barely got a word in.

All in all it was a very good 'meeting' I think we will see some changes for the better. The MO is a good guy, I like him. And I know you are saying, "It's a good thing for him that she does."

HEY! I am a nice person. But if I don't like where you got it, I can tell you where to put it.

This is what I have to deal with.

I spoke to the boy's father today, always a treat. Told him I was starting to move things into storage because I wasn't finding a place. At the end of the conversation (believe me I make them as short as humanly possible) he says, "So, how much are you going to pay me? 100 dollars a week?" (referring to the amount of child support he currently pays) WTF?

I lose it, "What exactly is your fucking problem?"

"This has nothing to do with whether the boy comes to stay, but you will pay." Then he hangs up. That sounds like an ominous statement if you don't know the boy's half-wit, socially retarded father. He is a complete and utter moron.

First of all, in order to get child support out of me he would have to take me to court. This from a guy that wouldn't go into a bank to sign his own mortgage papers. There is no fear of court proceedings.

I am not paying that asshole one red cent. In thirteen years I can count on one hand how many times the boy has stayed overnight at his place. He has nickel'ed and dime'd me every step of the way. Oh, he paid his $100/week but not a cent more without an all out war. Even something as stupid as 20 bucks for school photos? He refused, well not exactly, he gave me the money and took it off the child support. (although still taking credit for paying for the photos) I just wish he would get over himself. We have been apart for thirteen years and he still acts like I punched him in the face yesterday.

I always try to have civil conversations with him to no avail. I could care less if he lived or died,(although I would prefer die) but I try for the boy's sake. Everything is a battle with him, last year he even refused to pay to put the boy in hockey, my brothers had to do it. (this year he agreed to half, exactly $187.50 and yes, he expected the change) He really doesn't get it. All he cares about is fucking me over, not realizing that he is doing it to his own son. I guess he figured out that it was the only way to get to me, since I could care less if I ever laid eyes on him for the rest of my life. He continues to break my heart by doing these things that make my son feel like his father doesn't even like him. I try to tell him that it is not because of him, that his father just does these things to hurt me. But even the boy can't make sense of that, so of course he won't believe me. And you can't blame him really, does it make sense to any of you?

Every day his father reminds me of what a favor I did for the boy and myself when I left him. I just wish I had left sooner so the boy wouldn't be saddled with such a mentally unstable person for a father. I really can't understand why he has held onto this for so long. Honestly, all I did to him was leave. That's it. And considering the shit he put me through I can't imagine he was surprised.

Every time I see him, all I can think is, 'I can't believe I slept with that fucktard!'

13 Days and counting.

Up bright and early today to get the boy off to school. I usually go right back to bed but today I am wired. I sent an email to MO last night to complain about the TM's management of our Q, so I am interested to hear what he has to say about it.

Still up to my eyeballs in boxes, and one kitten down.



This one should go today. A guy at work wants him/her? Well, you all know how good I am at determining the sex of a cat.

The boy still holds hope that his father will let him take one of the kittens as well as his cat with him when he goes to stay with him.



I hope so too, every time we discuss someone taking Boogers, he gets all choked up. No idea why, but he has bonded with that one.

If worse comes to worse, we can just tell the boy's father the cat is coming and to deal with it. Hope it works.

Anyway, wanted to mention to anyone that does not have a G.ma.il account yet. I have a few invitations, email me and I will send ya one.

Must get back to packing.

Deep breath.

I know, I know, I am getting slack with the blog entries but there just isn't enough hours in the day to get everything done. Bit by bit I am packing this dump up but it is going to get worse before it gets better. It's an obstacle course around here, boxes everywhere. I can't get the storage place till the 20th so I am stacking them as best I can. Can't wait till this is over.

Had a team meeting with the new TM and vented for a half an hour. Think he may be seeing things my way. I am not the type who stews in silence. Surprising as that might sound. But if people don't know they are pissing you off, then they will continue to piss you off. Might as well get it off your chest. Then if they are still pissing you off, at least you know its intentional.

I tried to drill it into his head that if he doesn't know how to do something, then ask someone, and keep asking till you find out. Don't stumble around and hope you get it right. I don't want him to fail, I want him to get up to speed as quickly as possible. The sooner he does the better off we will all be. I even spoke to a couple of other TM's and brow-beat them into offering some assistance. They know what it was like to learn all this shit, they should be ashamed that they are just letting him swing in the breeze. (the 'you should be ashamed' thing hit the spot)

What else. Oh, we had a regular TM (as opposed to a pro TM) Managing the Q on Sat night. Wait, this might get complicated if you don't know how my job works. Let me give a little bit of insight.

We are paid for a service level of 85%, anything above, we don't get paid, anything below and we get penalized. If we are in Q (meaning a shitload of people are waiting on hold) then depending on how deep we go, our service level goes down. If we have no Q and are sitting around doing nothing (BTW my dream job) then our service level goes up, meaning we are available for calls, it rings twice and there we are. Then too, if we are sitting around doing nothing for too long, the service level goes down. (hope you sort of get the picture) So, when we are not in Q and our service level is good, we can afford to jump into Super Q (mixture of cc and pro) or PPA (internal) Q and help them without hurting ourselves.

Anyway, the cc TM takes us all out of pro and puts us in PPA, to purposely drive down our service level, which in my opinion is unethical, it is essentially cooking the books. But try and explain that to him? You see the higher ups just tell the TM's to manage the Q and assume they know what that means. Some of them do not. So, we have Professional customers calling in and hearing nothing but hold music on a Sat. night, they are not impressed.

Then there is the 'customer satisfaction' (CSAT) element. People are routinely surveyed and asked about their overall satisfaction with the service. Well if you are a professional and are calling on a Sat night because your entire network is down and you have to wait on hold just to reach a customer service representative, how do you think you would answer those surveys? Favorably? I think not. If we hit our CSAT goal each month we get a bonus.

There is a balance, and someone needs to get all the TM's on the same page. This is fucking with my bonus and I am not impressed.

I am ranting now, so I think I will post.

How will I occupy my time?

Called around to find out the prices for storage in the area and found a decent place close by for $60/mon. Not bad for a 9 x 12 unit, I pick up the keys on Thursday and will start to slowly fill it up.

The boy had a great first day, he likes the school and the teachers and there are some friends from baseball in his class. After school we went to check out my new digs, and I found out I will only be able to stay in it a month before it heads for storage. That's cool, by then it will be too cold to be in a motor home anyway.

Another distressing thought, I will be without internet for that time. What will I do? Culture shock. I will still be able to post to the blog from various places, but I'm not sure if I will be able to handle going cold turkey. It will be hard late at night (my preferred surf time) but I am stockpiling movies for the boredom. Anything you want to contribute, Grog? Maybe some PC games? I will have to try and figure out who I lent the Sims to.

I will have to break the 'no internet usage' rule at work so I can read my daily's.

Oh, and I am buying Forest's Palm Pilot, my birthday gift to myself. I always wanted one and he has had one just laying around, so, done deal. Now, all I need to fill out my geek gear is a laptop. I was thinking if I went laptop I would try an Apple. Just for something different. I have never laid eyes on one before and I keep seeing them for sale in the paper.

Just one of those things I always wanted to try. I have a feeling I will be doing a lot of that in the coming months. Here's hoping.

And he's off!

First day of school, 2004. Head to toe in sk8tr gear, the boy is stylin'. A walking advertisement, every teenagers dream.

On the road....again.

The landlord came to pick up the rent and informed me that he has sold the house. He needs me out by the end of the month. WTF? I freak out for a day or so, I could fight it, he really has to give me three months. How will I find a suitable apartment in 30 days?

Then it hit me. Why am I stressing? I can send the boy to live with his father, put my stuff in storage and stay with friends. Save some money, get caught up on some things and take my time to find the right place. Sounds like a plan. I will live with Kimmy. Settled.

Ok, not. I talk to my sister. "You don't want to do that. Come out here and you can stay in the camper." She calls it a camper, how cute. When it is a motor home, central vacuum, full bath. When my sister 'camps' she is definitely not roughing it. I like this idea because of my strange work hours, it would be easier and I won't be bothering anyone.

She is excited and every so often in the conversation she interjects with, "You do realize that you will be FREE?!"

"Ya, but I am trying not to let the boy see how excited I am." This is going to be fun.

Give me strength.

Last night our new TM (you know, the one that was clearly more qualified than me?)'accidentally' deleted the go-home-early list from the exchange public folders. Ok, anyone can make a mistake, right?

Tonight, he is in charge. Alone. I am a little uneasy, but who knows, he may pull it off. There are 5 of us scheduled for 5-1. We do not put our name on the go-home-early list because, well, there are 5 of us. We ain't goin' anywhere. Or so I thought.

Now, remember, since last night the go-home-early list does not exist on the server so you would have to actually put pen to paper. For shits and giggles two people apparently put their names on it. Just around 10 we are experiencing high call volumes, well for us, and I hit the button to see what's going on.

Two agents online. WTF?

ME: "Why are there only 2 of us on the phones? We are in Q."
TM: "Forest is on break."
ME: "And? Shouldn't there be more than 3?"
TM: "Oh, I let two go home."
ME: "YOU DID WHAT?"
TM: "I didn't check what time they were off and let them go." He has a big 'my bad' grin on his face, which really isn't endearing at this point.
ME: "Fine, then get your ass on the phones, we are in Q" He thinks I am joking. I am not joking.

So we remain in Q, Forest comes back and Enrique goes on break. Still Q ville. I am shooting daggers through TM. So finally my break comes up,we are out of Q, I don't even wait for Enrique to come back. I am pounding out my code into the time keeping system and hear.

TM: "I should take my 2 hours on the phones now." (TM's have to do 2 hours or 5 calls) "But I don't think I will get 5 calls, they are out of Q."
ME: "You could have 5 minutes ago, but no point in that, since then you might have actually helped us out. Wouldn't want that to happen now would we?" I head for break, seething.

When I return, and am once again pounding out my code on the TKS, he says to me, "You don't look very pleased with me." ha ha. I did not find this funny in any way, shape or form.

And I reply with a dirty look, "That's because I AM NOT!"

This guy is new, he should be trying to gain the respect of his team, but he is not even interested in the word. Apparently he spells team with an 'I'.

I think that since he fucked up, he should have stepped up and helped with the Q. But apparently he is not going to do anything unless it benefits him in some way. Thank God, A showed up to visit and I had a chance to cool down.

Later, about an hour before shift end, he asks me to dispatch my cases. What? Technically we are supposed to do that at the end of our shift and not before. But he needs to finish his report otherwise he will have to stay late.

My reply? "Uh, sorry no can do, that would not be procedure." If he wanted my help, he should have helped us earlier.

Tit for tat.

You say 'bitch' like it's a bad thing?

You've all seen that bar at the top of our once immaculate blog templates. Ya, and there is no getting rid of it, I have tried. So, tonight I decided I should see if it is at least useful and started to randomly surf blogs.

I have realized one thing in the past hour. Most blogs are dead fucking boring! Now I could handle boring if at least they would refrain from slaughtering the Queen's English. Please people, there is a spell checker on the dashboard, use it! After you have mastered that, try a little thing called grammar and punctuation. Fascinating things.

Instead of whining that no one reads your blog, investigate the reason. And because, as you know, it's all about me. I give you.

Top Ten Reasons I Won't Read Your Blog:

10. People who try to be deep and artsy, put me to sleep.
9. Politics, I am Canadian, I don't do politics.
8. Donation buttons. Get a job.
7. Dark freaky background and white text. Nuf said.
6. Anime makes me physically ill.
5. Animated gif's make me sea sick.
4. Your You're boring. I don't care what you ate today, unless it got you admitted to emergency.
3. Most people like to take a breath every once in a while, so for God's sake, punctuate.
2. If your life is so bad, why not just change it and quit torturing the rest of us with your whine and cheese party.

And the number one reason I will not read your blog.....

1. U kant speel.

You say 'bitch' like it's a bad thing?

UPDATE

Guess I should be more clear, I am not looking for perfection. But some of the blogs were physically painful to read. Some of them went on forever with absolutely no punctuation, spell check or grammar of any kind. If you make it difficult to read, no one will read it.

It's that simple.