Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Things that make ya go ..hmmm.

These are just some things that I was compelled to capture on my cell phone.

A one-and-a-half legged Seagull.

Pink hockey gear. Yeah!

This was hanging outside my brothers hospital room. I thought it was a little out of place.

So I got is a bug light. Gross!

Don't lie. We have all been drunk enough to use a toilet that looks just like this. Yes, I did.

No, this is not a golf course, it is the lawn of someones house. I kid you not.

And I don't understand the point of frozen grapes.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Canadian, eh?

I had to post this. I found it over at Rad's place and laughed through the whole thing. Okay, maybe act two is a bit dry, but the rest is worth listening to.

One woman was completely traumatized to learn that William Shatner was Canadian. Another is up in arms, saying that there should be a law against Peter Jennings, a Canadian, hosting a network news program.

You just have to listen to it, it is hilarious.

Americans are so self absorbed, they think anything good must be American.

All you Yanks can check out this website to crush your sense of superiority.

Americans think that you should be able to spot a Canadian a mile away. It's just geography guys.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Like Budda!

The Sister bought me sheets for Christmas. I don't know any other way to describe them other than they are 'like budda'.

They say they are ultra-micro plush. You get into them and it just hugs you and you feel like you are in warm butter. You literally groan when you get into bed.

I work from home now, but I am trying to figure out how to work from bed.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Like I said, talent runs in the family.

My cousin John's grandson, Ashton, is in this movie.

And my cousin Wayne is in this movie.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Santa was good to us.

And when I say 'Santa', I mean my sister. The Boy has been Jones'n for this guitar for a while. He had resigned himself to the fact that it would take him forever to afford it. So when my sister pulled it out from behind the couch....he was floored. At one point I thought he might topple her.

She has been bugging him to learn House of the Rising Sun since he first started playing at age eleven. Guess he won't be able to avoid it now.

Then I found out that my nephew is on YouTube. Talent runs in the family. His father used to play guitar and sing, back in the day. This is Gummmy playing an original composition.

Now all I have to do is convince The Boy that this is the way to go. Maybe I can hear him play more often.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Gets me every time.

When I was pregnant with the boy, some 18 years ago. I was watching Christmas specials and ran across this on on satellite.

The story in a nut shell. Kid owns a donkey he calls Small One. The donkey is getting old and not really pulling his weight. The boys father says he has to sell him.

Even though you totally see where this is going, considering it is a Christmas movie (Gee, do you think Joseph might buy him in the end), even knowing all that...this song made me bawl, like a baby.

And still does, every single time I hear it.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

It's all in the presentation.

All ready to be devoured!

At least it is starting to look like Christmas.

Christmas Baking.


Cherry Balls (in white)

Cherry balls.

Headless mice.

And it looks like Martha Stewart had a fuckin' seizure.

Saturday, December 13, 2008


Annual wing night was a success. Gorged on hot wings and watched cheesy Christmas movies.

And the tree is up.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Dear Santa:

I have been a decent enough human being this year. If you are so inclined I could use the following,

Only slightly less pitiful than my birthday wish list.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Breaking News! Oprah states obvious.

Oprah confesses, "I gained 40 pounds."

Well, duh!

You are on tv 5 days a week, did you think no one noticed?

Of course, no one would dare say a word. After all, you are Oprah, you could have them shot in the face. No one would ever find the body.

Just ask Hoffa.

Monday, December 8, 2008

2 hours of my life that I will never get back.

Actually watched Babylon AD yesterday.

I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and stop myself. It was worse than bad. I can't even tell you what the hell it was about, because I am not sure.

I think they may have ran out of money during production. Maybe that is why the bad guy just ... gave up looking for them in the end. I don't know.

Friday, December 5, 2008

I never felt more like an orphan.

We had some snow last week. Not much but a foot or so, wet and heavy. The kind that forms ice underneath. Well I was looking to order a pizza and knew that the delivery man would not come up the stairs unless they were cleared.

A dilemma, since I could not find my shovel. So out I go to clear the snow with just my feet and a hammer (for the inch of ice that is under it).

The pizza was not worth it. The next morning (around 4:30am) I am awakened by the call of nature. I roll over to get out of bed and the searing pain shoots up my spine.

I can't move, it is excruciating. I start to panic. I can't get out of bed and I don't have a phone nearby. What do I do? How long can I stay here before someone even notices that they haven't heard from me in a while? Work will call if I don't show up, but I still won't be able to get to the phone.

"I have to get out of this bed!"

After about half an hour I am finally in the bathroom. I do my business and am about to inch my way back to my bed, when it hits me. "What if I can't get out of bed the next time? What if I have to call an ambulance or something? I better take a shower while I am here." The whole 'clean underwear' thing your mamma warned you about.

An hour later I am fluffed and folded and back in bed with the cordless, the cell phone and my little laptop beside me. I have no real sense that I can recover from this injury since i have no drugs and I don't even have a hot water bottle to help ease the pain.

I look over and in the doorway are my two cats, Milo and Sammy.

They are just sitting there, side-by-side in the doorway, staring at me and I imagine the conversation between them.
MILO: "How long before you think we can start eating her face?"
SAMMY: "Dunno, lets just keep an eye on her."

At that point I start to really panic, I tried to call Nurse Darling, no answer. Bunnie has no car (it bought the farm the week before) The Boy is in school and my sister is 5 hours away in New Brunswick. I am completely alone in the world.

I am about to descend into complete despair when I think of something. I drag my laptop over and frantically email the only person I could think of, Tracey.

I cried like a baby when I saw her. She came to my rescue with a hot water bottle, some drugs and a hamburger. Because, well, everyone knows a Big Mac can cure cancer.

You really do find out who your friends are.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

One more encore and I call in S.W.A.T.

I live right next door to a high school. So I get to hear all the announcements (and, of course, O'Canada) over the PA system.

For some reason today, they are playing MMMBop by Hanson.

Over and over, on a continuous loop and all I could think of was...

hostage situation.

Monday, December 1, 2008