Monday, September 29, 2003

The aftermath of Juan

Hurricane Juan blew through last night. Wouldn't have been so bad if I didn't have a nervous 12 year old, two jittery cats and those fire trucks that kept roaring down the street. I would have slept through the whole thing. The power was out from about 11pm last night to 1pm this afternoon. Here are a few pics of the damage. Mostly trees and power lines.

This is the boy at the end of the driveway, it was blocked with a few limbs that had blown down, and I don't know if you can see it, but there is a power line down on the road.

This is the back yard, it looks like a jungle now.

Another view of the driveway.

There were a few trees completely down at the end of the street. The most inconvenience was from the Tim Horton's being closed because the power was out. I guess Halifax got the worst of it. "Juan hit as a Category One hurricane with maximum sustained winds clocked at 146 km/hr in Halifax. It has since been downgraded to a tropical storm."

Friday, September 26, 2003

It�s not what you know but who you blow.

I am pissed.

When I began working at the Undisclosed Customer Service Center� the whole class was hired for the 5pm-1am shift. We understood this going in. We were also under the impression that once we hit the floor after training we could request an earlier shift and when one became available they would be offered on a first come first serve basis. I thought this was fair.

In the past month we have been hearing of people getting earlier shifts, not surprising because they have been hiring CC�s hand over fist. I figured it would just be a matter of time before I got mine. Then we start hearing that people who were hired after our class were getting earlier shifts. WTF? And today I learned that a guy that hit the floor just two weeks ago got day shift.

What happened to first come first served? Who the hell do I gotta blow to get day shift? And why didn�t someone tell me that that was what had to be done? I feel like I got fucked and I wasn�t even offered a cigarette.

Hey, I am not opposed to a little rinse and spit but let me know ahead of time so I can tie my hair back.

Wednesday, September 24, 2003


The concert was ��.disappointing to say the least. We missed Honeymoon Suite all together. David Wilcox was really good. But my age was a factor in the whole thing. It was too hot, too loud and too long.

I am officially an old bag. My partying days are over. I did partake in some pharmaceuticals but did not drink. This only accomplished one thing, I was unable to sleep after the concert. So, I didn�t, I stayed up all night and went to work Sunday morning, something I do not recommend in my line of work. By 4pm I was pretty punchy at work but I got through till 6 and came home and crashed.

The most disappointing moment of the night is when April Wine thanked everyone for coming and I realized they didn�t even play the song that I had paid $24 to hear live. All I could think about was �that is 6 hours of my life that I will never get back�. I have moved on from old bad, to curmudgeon. I should have used that money to buy a crapload of records for my new record player.

On a lighter note, the boy is doing better.

Although he went in for a second x-ray and the doctor told him he could put �some� weight on the foot. This translated in his 12 year old mind to �Get back on that skateboard boy, have a ball. No, there is no need for crutches anymore, you have miraculously healed yourself!� Needless to say he has ruined said cast and we will most likely have to go in tomorrow and have it replaced.

Another light note, we have gotten another cat. Well kitten really, meet Oscar.

We named him that because he looks like he has a scar on his face. So far he has shit on my bed and pissed on the couch. We will see how long his little life here lasts.

(Don�t have a cow�..I said his life here not his life.)

Friday, September 19, 2003

Another asshole chimes in.

This is the newest ray of sunshine in my life.

The return address says simply Customer Service or MS Newsletter or some such nonsense. It looks legit enough. But it is just another asshole with too much time on its hands. It has a nice little attachment that releases a worm virus on your computer. Fun eh?

Some reference material for ya.
New email worm targets hole in Internet Explorer. 19/09/2003. ABC News Online
Beware fake Microsoft 'security' spam

Just a tip: MICROSOFT NEVER sends you emails with patch fixes embedded in them � and you only get security alert notices if you've opted in.

If you are worried about it visit the good people who bring you Norton and get all the info you need.
Symantec Security Response - W32.Swen.A@mm

Thank you for calling the Undisclosed Customer Service Center�, you have a nice day.

Heads up!

As an added bonus, you will recieve undelivered notices that come with this handy popup.

This triggers the download to your computer of the offending worm. Be careful when sifting through your mail, pay attention because the save on these popups is really easy to hit by mistake.

Those geeks, they just think of everything.

Wednesday, September 17, 2003

Just another day in paradise!

Last night I had nothing but bazaar calls.

A man with one product that didn�t have free support, tried to get support with another product. After about 20 minutes,

�Well what if I told you it was product A?�

�Then I would check your PID and know you were lying.�

�Well I have support for product A�

�But your having the problem with product B�


�So, there isn�t just one guy here that takes care of all the tech calls. The guy trained in product A is not expected, and most times has no idea how, to work product B, so even though it would be free support, he wouldn�t be able to help you.�

�Well what if I told you���

�Sir, I have explained your support options, if you do not wish to go through on pay per incident, then I really can�t help you any further. Thank you for calling Undisclosed Customer Service Center�, you have a nice day.�

Next crayon please!

As a customer reads his software disk: ��..for product support contact the manufacturer of your pc��

�And who is the manufacturer of your pc?�

�They told me not to tell you.�

�You were already in contact with them.�

�Ya, and they told me not to tell you it was OEM software, and you would help me.�
(Of all the nerve!)

�And I can sir, for a $35 charge to a major credit card.�

This is when he loses his mind. �I just paid them $130 and you are telling me I have to pay you another 35 fucking dollars?�

�Well sir the disc clearly states that your warranty support lies with your OEM. Do you think it was worth $130 to have them tell you just to call us and lie?�

�Well what if I didn�t tell you that? What if I just said it was retail?�

�Sir, we can check that with the PID, we don�t just take peoples word for it. If I were you I would call them back and make them work for their $130. I will let you know that ours is a flat fee and we will work with you for as long as it takes until your issue is completely resolved and if for some reason we can't resolve it we will refund the charge.�



�That�s fair.�

�We like to think so.�

And another thing...

A lady calls up who just bought a computer with obsolete software, it�s $35 only until January, when phone support is discontinued. She loses her mind but grudgingly gives me her credit card info. Half way through she begins to talk very very snotty to me. She starts with her billing address, giving it to me in a tone that suggests she is also at the same time scraping something disgusting off the bottom of her shoe. When I ask for her phone number, she starts to yell,

�What the hell do you need all this fucking information for?�

Stay calm Evel�..�Well it is to distinguish you from every other Jane Doe in Michigan��

�Well I am the only one in fucking Michigan.�
Sure lady.

I am gritting my teeth now, and a co-worker that was about to ask me a question sees my face and walks away,

�Mamme, I can�t create a case for you until I get this information.�

She is screaming and I am pounding this out as hard as I can on the keyboard, I can�t believe it isn�t smashing it. Another co-worker has just backed away from me.

THAT IS IT! In my snottiest look-lady, Dirty Harry voice, �Mamme, if you can not control yourself, I will be forced to terminate this call.�

She calms down a little, but is still snarky. The only thing that kept me from hooking her was that glorious feeling of satisfaction that she will, in the end, wait almost two hours on hold (I kept that little tidbit from her) only to end up at my favorite foreign country. You know the one.

Happy trails bitch!

Monday, September 15, 2003

To whom it may concern:

To the guy ahead of me driving 5 mph: "Get out and fucking walk!" I have places to go, if you are looking to tour the country side, it is much faster on foot. At least the way YOU drive.

To the dumb-as-dirt customer: "How are you today?" is a fucking rhetorical question. I am not a heartless bitch but I don't give a rat's ass how your surgery went.

To that same Rhodes Scholarcustomer: No, "I get an error message", is NOT enough information to go on.

To that minimum wage bitch that works till closing at Tim Horton's: "If you are closed? Turn the fucking drive-thru sign off!"

To that perfect stranger who felt the need to chat with me at the doctors office: "There is such a thing as too much information."

Wednesday, September 10, 2003

FINALLY! Comments are back up!

It's been a week (or so) but comments are finally back up and running.

Now for the bad news. The "boy" broke his foot yesterday trying to ollie off a picnic table.


In my opinion the ollie is the most important trick to know how to do. 9 out of 10 tricks require an ollie.

1.First you must know where to put your feet on your board. Put your back foot on the tail of the board. Put your front foot just behind the front bolts.

2.Then the next thing to do is to snap down the tail all the way to the ground as hard as you can.

3.Next then slide your front foot up the board,just past the front bolts.

4.Now you should be in the air, level your body out over the bolts.
This is where the boy inserted picnic table.

5.Bend your knees and get prepared for hitting the ground.

6.Ride away

Now you have done an ollie. You may want to master this trick before you try to do any other skateboarding tricks.

The "boy" had a little trouble with number 5, and to be fair it isn't all that clear. He did hit the ground but not on the skateboard. This demonstrates the importance of reading all the directions before execution. But he's a man after all.

"We don't need no stinkin' directions!"

Sunday, September 7, 2003

Open letter to an asshole.

This is the moron that everyone has been looking for. Jeff Parsons. Although he is not the writer of the original Blaster Worm virus, he is what I think most people imagine your average virus writer looks like.

Unfortunately, this perception stands because the writers of the most destructive viruses are so good that most are never caught so we never get a look at them.

What you usually get are kids like Jeff here, who get a hold of it and rework it and make it their own. And of course what is the fun of making a virus if no one knows you did it? That is how kids like Jeff are caught. The writer of the Word97 macro virus thought it was a good idea to add his resume into the code of the virus itself. What better way to get a job than to leave this message? (along with his resume)

�Warning: If I don't get a stable job by the end of the month I will release a third virus that will remove all folders in the Primary Hard Disk, or in layman's term para ko na ring fi-normat ang Hard Disk Mo �

I think maybe you should aim a bit maybe concentrate on gettin' yourself layed.

Saturday, September 6, 2003

Cum (and actually) Hear the Band.

It took me a week, but I finally got the tune downloaded. Not one of their more popular tunes I guess. Absolutely no one on Kazaa had it.

Thursday, September 4, 2003

Your tax dollars at work.

Do you think this guy woke up one morning and said,

"Oh ya, I have a great idea. I will paint a vagina." Clearly something he has never witnessed first hand. And if he has, I would love to meet the chick that has to walk around with that particular deformity.

His Mamma must be so proud.

Monday, September 1, 2003

Tracey is an Auntie!

How gorgeous is this kid? Trey Anthony, 6lbs 3oz.