Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts

Saturday, September 23, 2017

Your customer’s safety IS your concern.

First of all, this is my opinion. If you don't agree, I do not give one fuck. I am seeing this way too often.

Customer comes into the shop with a mechanical mod. Right away I see he has an RDA on it and he is asking about premade coils.

At this point I start questioning him.

What build do you have on it now? He just pops the cap off and shows me.
What ohms are the coils? "24 guage", he says. He has no idea what I am asking, someone at the 'other' shop built it for him.

At this point I take the mod from him. Let's see what battery he's got. I pop it out and it is pitiful. 2500 mah, 3.7v no other info on the battery and he has no idea. What catches my attention is the rips in the battery, bare steel showing. I just hang my head. "I am NOT putting that back in your mod."

Onward to the RDA. Dual coil, nicely built. He said they built it and installed if for him. Do you have an ohm meter? (blank stare, he has no idea what that is.) I put the RDA on my regulated device. The ohms are reading 0.15. Again, I hang my head.

Did they ask him what device he was firing this on? Did they ask what ohm's he prefered? Asking just one of these questions would have alerted them that this person had no idea what he was doing and needed instructions. Did they tell him what ohms the build was when they passed it back to him? I was met again with a blank stare.

"This, right here is why I do not sell mech mods", I tell him. "Do you understand that this is electricity you are dealing with?" "You know all those 'exploding' mods you see in the media? This right here, is how it is done."

I give him a battery wrap and tell him how to rewrap the battery. ( he says it is not that old) I tell him if you want to use that device it was safer to use just a regular tank with 1.8(ish) ohm coil inside. I tell him if he wants to blow clouds with a rebuildable, he needs to learn about ohm's law, coil wrapping and battery safety. Until that happens?...get a regulated mod and a subohm tank. You can blow plenty clouds and be safe doing it.

It burns me that to make a buck, a shop will sell someone a device with absolutely no instruction. Especially a mech mod. Oh its simple, who needs instructions? Mech mods and building coils need the most instruction. You have a device with absolutely no safety features with an iffy battery chemistry and ohmage that is beyond sub. You are asking that battery to push 90+ watts. Another exploding mod is just what we need with pending legislation that could regulate us right out of business.

I do sell rebuildable supplies to people who clearly know what they are doing. I do not ever build them for them. If they ask me to, that is a clear indication that they should not be using a rebuildable.

I say this every day. "It's not as easy as lightin' the end of 'er."

And another thing...

Selling a smoker/new vaper a 200 watt mod with a subohm tank on it because the only juice you sell is 3mg max VG is just ridiculous. These people are just trying to get off cigarettes, not fog a stadium.

End of Rant.

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Remember me.

It's a crazy thing when people die, everyone says such nice things about them. Even the really big loser/asshole/psychopath/pedophiles of this world. I keep thinking, did this person, spouting poetry about the dearly departed, ever actually MEET them? Or did they just forget how much of a maggot the person was?

All of a sudden they go at it like its a real estate or personal ad.

"He was a quiet sensitive soul" DUDE! He was a pedophile. And if you believe in God, no he is not looking 'down' on us all he is most definitely peering up our skirts.

"She was such a sharing person." Maybe over sharing...she told people at the bar that her kids were dead when, in fact, she had just left them home alone. I am sure she got more than a few free drinks out of that.

"He was a pillar of the community." Maybe of the Arian Brotherhood Community.

"She put her heart and soul into everything she did." OMG....look up 'sociopath' in the dictionary...you will find her picture. She had the attributes of a cult leader. She manipulated 3 people into offing themselves just so she could host the candle light vigils and gofundme campaigns to help with funeral expenses.

I am sure everyone knows that one person that, upon their death, would be like me. Attending the wake armed with a hat pin so I can drive it into their temple (on the guise of kissing them goodbye) to make damned sure they are actually dead from one of the many terminal illnesses they NEVER had.

For the love of all things holy. When I die, please do not forget that I could be a complete asshole at times and I probably won't get wings on the first day. Me and Clarence will be fighting for the record.


Friday, January 22, 2016

What's on your mind? FUCK OFF, ZUCKERBERG!

No, it is NOT life changing!

No, it is NOT brilliant. It will NOT leave you speechless. 

No, it is NOT unbelievable, awe inspiring or genius.

That song was NOT actually written about you.

NOTHING will change the way I feel about brushing my teeth.

If you don't know the origin of your last name by now, you have been living under a rock or you are twelve.

No, it will most likely NOT bring you to tears. And YES you can most certainly believe your eyes.

What this animal does is NOT mind boggling.

What that kid did is NOT going to change the world. He stuck his face in a birthday cake. That does not make him a phenom. 

God does NOT creep Facebook to make sure you are liking and sharing something. It is just not how he rolls.

That cat is NOT a hero for waking you when there was a fire. Had you installed a cat door he would have left you there with not so much as a by-your-leave, and would be watching the bitch burn from the safety of the side walk.

What your dog does when you get home from an extended absence is NOT jaw dropping. He wagged his tail. He does that when you come back from checking the mail or taking a dump.

You don't need to share or like a meme to prove you are NOT in favor of rape,  pedophilia or animal cruelty. I will NOT share it, I do NOT negotiate with terrorists or extortionists. 

You don't have to share and like if you love your children. Try just telling them face to face for fuck sake. Facebook has become one giant chain letter when its not the worlds most read obit page.

What kind of fabric are you? What color dragon are you? What kind of sandwich are you? Bitch, seriously? You are human, get back on the meds.

Even if, by some stretch of the imagination, you actually did have a previous life? I can guarantee that FaceBook was in no way privy to it.

What does your underwear say about you? Nothing, its fuckin' underwear. If you think yours is dissing you behind your back you have bigger problems. Medicate.

Your zodiac sign does NOT determine whether you become an asshole or not. Oh sure, you and approximately 700 million people on the planet born in that month span are having the exact same fuckin' day as you are. Seems totally legit.

Quit whining about getting game requests. If you spent a fraction of the time you waste bitching about game requests and learned how to use Facebook, we would all be better off. I have thousands of 'friends' and get zero game requests. Why? BECAUSE I LEARNED HOW TO USE FACEBOOK!

I get it if you are fat fingered like me trying to use the teeny tiny phone keyboard. However, if you are using a full sized keyboard, there is no excuse for typing ' r u thr?' And stop bitching about grammar Nazis, just stop. How about you stop contributing to the dumbing down of an entire generation who will never even learn to sign their own name?

And another thing... for the love of God and all things holy....resist the urge to blindly share every fucking post you see. 

Betty White is NOT dead. The Germans did NOT just invaded Poland. For fuck sake, get the fuck off facebook, wander into CNN every once in a while or at the very least, pick up a fuckin' book!

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Storm update.

I am completely stocked up and ready for any storm. 

I have scallops cooked.Steak and mushrooms and potatoes, all the fixings to make pizza. Not to mention a backup battery to plug the confection oven into to cook all this shit. Pop, chips, dip, fruit and chocolate ice cream.

This could only mean one thing, there will be no storm.

Your welcome.

Thursday, October 8, 2015

What's keeping me up at night?

The fact that we, the vaping industry, are being treated, classified and regulated in the same way that the tobacco industry is. They are treating us like Coke and Pepsi, when in reality we are more like Oil and Water. I can't even think of anything more completely opposite.

After Bill 60 here in Nova Scotia, we felt like we had a victory. I do not believe that to be true now. Granted, we were not shut down, but now public perception is that we are just another form of smoking tobacco and the media isn't helping when it comes to clearing up that misconception.

The worst thing that could have happened did happen. We got ourselves lumped into the same category as big tobacco. We are NOT tobacco. In fact we are the direct competition to tobacco. And not like Coke vs Pepsi, but more like whale hunters vs Greenpeace, or ??? (I really can't think of anything that is more polar opposite.)

Oh no, they say, you will have your own classification. Yet, there we are in the black and white, in the 'Tobacco' Access Act. This is even after producing evidence that we are in no way a tobacco product. You will get exemptions for vape shops, that was a flat out lie, it was conveniently left out of the final draft of the legislation. Oh, and they also assure us that they will never tax us as tobacco. Ya, after all this? I don't trust that anymore.

How did this happen?

We just were not prepared for the interactions with politicians. We thought that we could win with science and logic on our side. The politicians said all the right things and patted us on the back until we realized that what they were doing was inserting a knife.

Now they have us by the short hairs. We have been inserted into the Tobacco Access Act. Every day when I open the door to the shop, I stare at this.


And every day, I begin a slow burn. I am angered and completely offended by having the word TOBACCO on the door of our shop, in which WE DO NOT SELL TOBACCO!!!!!!!!

The following is the speech I presented to the Law Amendments Committee. Along with lab results of the e-liquid showing no tobacco content. All on public record.

Madam Chair, members of the committee: 
My name is Eva and I am co-owner of the End Vapor Shop in New Glasgow and Truro.

I thank you for allowing me to speak today on the matter of amendments proposed to the smoke free places act. Bill #60. 
Electronic cigarettes must not be defined as a tobacco product because it, quite simply, is NOT a tobacco product and in fact is in direct competition with tobacco. That being said, I submit test results that indicates that the eliquid we and other vendors sell has no tobacco content.  As the bill is presently worded, it is clear that the honorable minister of health is not aware of the obvious distinction between tobacco flavors and flavored tobacco.  
Looking at the list of 4000+ chemicals and known carcinogens in traditional tobacco cigarettes and comparing them with the 4 ingredients in the eliquid (none of which are tobacco by the way)  I personally concluded (albeit, not scientifically) that you really don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure out that this is  safer alternative. But you don’t have to take my word for that, in recent years, there have been an overabundance of scientific research that proves just that. And my business partner will supply you with that information.  
As vendors and a consumers, we welcome sensible regulation of the electronic cigarette industry separate from tobacco. In fact, we already self regulate, in that we refuse to sell to minors. We require proper labeling of the ejuice, child proof bottles, proper safety certifications on all our hardware  and independent lab testing of the liquid by a Health Canada accredited testing facility. I submit also our suggestions on regulating electronic cigarettes as a separate entity from tobacco. 
What I and others object to is electronic cigarettes being labeled as a tobacco product. Aside from the fact there is no tobacco present in the liquid, we view traditional tobacco as a direct competitor to our industry. I personally object to the Honorable minister of health’s attempt to redefine tobacco to include something that is absolutely not a tobacco product.

This is like saying, we will be banning apples and by the way the definition of apples will now be extended to include... staplers. I am thinking Webster’s may take issue with that.  
I am perplexed as to why the Honorable Minister of Health thinks we need anything else besides age restrictions for entry to vape shops. That alone would obviously negate the concern that we would be marketing to children. Now, I am not a drinker so I was aghast to learn that this was not a requirement for the NSLC stores, which openly displays bubblegum flavored vodka and Caramilk cream liquor. (what’s more kid friendly than a chocolate bar?) 
Flavored ejuice is just that...flavored. It consists of propylene glycol (flavorless), vegetable glycerine (flavorless), may or may not contain nicotine (also flavorless) and food grade flavoring. Even tobacco flavored ejuice is just that….tobacco flavored, not flavored tobacco. The distinction must be made and I think this is where the Honorable minister  of health is confused. Take away the flavoring and we are left with flavorless vapor. People don’t even drink flavorless water anymore. 
Vapers may start off with a tobacco flavoring, but most quickly find  the flavor of tobacco objectionable. After all it was never the taste of a cigarette that got us hooked. The majority of our customers are over 40 and enjoy having a variety of flavors available to them.  
Clearly I am not a child. However, I enjoy vaping fruit and candy flavors. Tobacco ‘flavors’ (not to be confused with tobacco that is flavored) in no way appeals to me. Saying that flavors only appeal to children is ludicrous, unless you contend that all Canadians upon reaching the age of 19 exist on cream of wheat and water? I did not think so.  
Removing the flavorings from ejuice will effectively shut down the legitimate industry and send those consumers into either the black market or worse, back to smoking traditional tobacco. Today I can tell you I will never  smoke another tobacco cigarette, as long as this is an available alternative.  
Not letting the public see their choices in delivery systems (which incidentally look nothing like cigarettes) and prohibiting point of sale marketing would be crippling to our business. Again, this is not a cigarette where all you have to do is light the right end and go. People benefit from hands on demonstration of the product and instruction on care, use, proper handling of the device. 
It is distressing to me that our honorable minister of health has brought forth this bill without the slightest understanding as to what this product is or how it works. Please, stop calling it tobacco. There is no more tobacco in this than there is in the coffee you drank this morning. 
All I am asking is that before you jump on to this particular band wagon, you avail yourselves of the research that is available and make an informed decision about the inclusion of electronic cigarettes in Bill No. 60 and the proposed changes to the amendment. Please consider what this will do, not only to the dozen or so strictly vaping businesses in Nova Scotia that will inevitably be shut down, but also how this will affect the thousands of Nova Scotian tax payers that will lose this ability to continue on with this safer alternative to traditional tobacco. 
This bill is old fashioned slight of hand designed to make it impossible for any MLA in the house (regardless of their affiliation) to vote against it. It’s battle cry? THINK OF THE CHILDREN AND GET RID OF FLAVORED TOBACCO ONCE AND FOR ALL! Then in the fine print it exempt the only flavored tobacco that anyone is even aware of. In reality it is a direct shot across the bow of anyone who tries to compete with big tobacco. 
I am NOT a smoker, this is NOT tobacco and must not be lumped into the same category. I suggest that you remove mention of electronic cigarettes from this bill. If the Honorable minister of Health  would like to propose sensible regulation on electronic cigarettes as its own consumer product separate from tobacco, I am sure we would all be open to that. 
The only thing this bill, as presently worded, will accomplish is the destruction of the most effective form of tobacco harm reduction to date and serves only to protect traditional tobacco from its only real competition.

Thank you for your time.
I really thought that I, and the other approximately 50 speakers, got through to them. When the committee sat down for Law Amendments, they had no idea that the bill in front of them was complete and utterly useless.

There was not a single MLA in that building, (and believe me by the end of the day, every single one of them made an appearance at committee) not one of them understood that e-juice contains NO TOBACCO.

Think about that for a minute. 'CONTAINS NO TOBACCO'.

If you could have seen the look on their faces when they realized that. The Liberals especially were embarrassed that they had supported a bill for a ban on tobacco that would have absolutely no effect on tobacco.

Had everyone just sat back, this bill would have been a slam dunk for the Liberal majority government.

Until the legislation (Bill 60) was introduced, I and pretty much everyone I have spoken to was only aware of one flavor of tobacco and that would be menthol. Thanks to the liberal government I (and any kid that watches the news) am now aware of watermelon cigarellos.

Sounds like the LIBERALS are the ones responsible for marketing flavored tobacco to children. Great job!

I could go on forever, but in my opinion, the new fight has to be to get e-cigarettes separated completely from traditional tobacco. Period.

For my own sanity and for the sake of all smokers looking for a better tobacco harm reduction option, I need that sign off the door.

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Trump for President?

At first I thought it was a joke. I don't own a TV so I just go online every once in a while to CNN or something and catch up on all the shit I care nothing about.

So, I see Trump and listen to him go full retard on national TV and think...this is a joke, right? A gag? Punking the nation.

But it keeps on going. Day after day. I opened the page one day and it was a rally with thousands of people holding signs that said Trump for President. 

Shit just got serious. 

They are not seriously going to consider this crayon, are they? I mean, this is mass idiocracy, am I right?

To the moe rons who are thinking of actually voting for this clown.

HAVE YOU LOST YOUR FUCKING MINDS?

No joke. 

Legit question.




Sunday, August 30, 2015

JUST STOP IT!

All children go through a period of being an asshole. How you handle that period of their life determines if they remain an asshole.

You want to know how to stop the bullying? Take responsibility for your little asshole. There is no way you don't know you are raising an asshole. You live with it. And I don't care how diabolical your little asshole is, he/she cannot switch it on and off. You have witnessed the asshole'ness in your home, and there is no way you think that that is reserved just for you.

You KNOW you are raising an asshole. STOP IT! If you throw your hands up and give up, it is the rest of the world that suffers. 

When the bullying results in harm to another human, I think the parents of that little asshole should be made to pay. Incentive for those parents to actually 'parent' those children.

Keep it up, and when I am Queen I will make you pay.

Monday, April 20, 2015

OH, WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

Politicians like to say that ejuice companies are marketing to children with flavors like Bubble Gum and Cotton Candy.

How stupid would that be? They say children and they are right. Children, (like) 4-11 year olds go ape shit over any type of candy. They are actual kids. However, in this instance they show you pictures of teens.

Lets just get around the psychology of that for a second. 

"~~I am a teen ager. I am contemplating smoking, with all the other cool teenagers in the smoke pit. (the cool is perceived, but I am dumb, I am a teenager) But now there are new things out there (I do not live under a rock and I am a teenager, I WILL try it) called ecigs. I have one and approach the smoke pit with it. There are other vapers there. ~~"

"Hey, (other cool kid) What flavor are you vaping?"

There is not a teen on this planet that wants to say, "Oh its Bubble Gum!" They might as well wear a sign that says, "Ridicule me mercilessly until I puke!"

I can say that I am vaping bubble gum...I am an adult and no longer give a shit what others think is cool. I vape it for the flavor not for the stupid name. Some of it is nostalgic.

So, cutsy flavors are appealing to the 4-11 year olds, but they have no money so who cares? THEY CAN'T BUY IT, THEY HAVE NO MONEY! And if you are an adult and have said 4-11 year olds living in your home with your kid-appealing ejuice flavors, it is on you to police that shit. Not me.

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Mad as hell and not taking your shit!

So, like any good greedy government, ours has decided they are going to try to ban electronic cigarettes under the guise of saving the children.

The bill as submitted by the Liberal Minster of Health is here.

It went to second reading and was sent to the Law Amendments Committee for input from the general public and interested parties.

I and others spoke. In person, out loud. I know, I was completely traumatized. I can type a mean letter, but I shook like a leave when it came to reciting it. This was my submission.
Madam Chair, members of the committee:
My name is Eva Campbell and I am co-owner of the End Vapor Shop in New Glasgow and Truro.
I thank you for allowing me to speak today on the matter of amendments proposed to the smoke free places act. Bill #60
Electronic cigarettes must not be defined as a tobacco product because it, quite simply, is NOT a tobacco product and in fact is in direct competition with tobacco. That being said, I submit test results that indicates that the eliquid we and other vendors sell has no tobacco content.  As the bill is presently worded, it is clear that the honorable minister of health is not aware of the obvious distinction between tobacco flavors and flavored tobacco. 
Looking at the list of 4000+ chemicals and known carcinogens in traditional tobacco cigarettes and comparing them with the 4 ingredients in the eliquid (none of which are tobacco by the way)  I personally concluded (albeit, not scientifically) that you really don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure out that this is  safer alternative. But you don’t have to take my word for that, in recent years, there have been an overabundance of scientific research that proves just that. And my business partner will supply you with that information. 
As vendors and a consumers, we welcome sensible regulation of the electronic cigarette industry separate from tobacco. In fact, we already self regulate, in that we refuse to sell to minors. We require proper labeling of the ejuice, child proof bottles, proper safety certifications on all our hardware  and independent lab testing of the liquid by a Health Canada accredited testing facility. I submit also our suggestions on regulating electronic cigarettes as a separate entity from tobacco.
What I and others object to is electronic cigarettes being labeled as a tobacco product. Aside from the fact there is no tobacco present in the liquid, we view traditional tobacco as a direct competitor to our industry. I personally object to the Honorable minister of health’s attempt to redefine tobacco to include something that is absolutely not a tobacco product.
This is like saying, we will be banning apples and by the way the definition of apples will now be extended to include... staplers. I am thinking Webster’s may take issue with that. 
I am perplexed as to why the Honorable Minister of Health thinks we need anything else besides age restrictions for entry to vape shops. That alone would obviously negate the concern that we would be marketing to children. Now, I am not a drinker so I was aghast to learn that this was not a requirement for the NSLC stores, which openly displays bubblegum flavored vodka and Caramilk cream liquor. (what’s more kid friendly than a chocolate bar?)
Flavored ejuice is just that...flavored. It consists of propylene glycol (flavorless), vegetable glycerine (flavorless), may or may not contain nicotine (also flavorless) and food grade flavoring. Even tobacco flavored ejuice is just that….tobacco flavored, not flavored tobacco. The distinction must be made and I think this is where the Honorable minister  of health is confused. Take away the flavoring and we are left with flavorless vapor. People don’t even drink flavorless water anymore.
Vapers may start off with a tobacco flavoring, but most quickly find  the flavor of tobacco objectionable. After all it was never the taste of a cigarette that got us hooked. The majority of our customers are over 40 and enjoy having a variety of flavors available to them. 
Clearly I am not a child. However, I enjoy vaping fruit and candy flavors. Tobacco ‘flavors’ (not to be confused with tobacco that is flavored) in no way appeals to me. Saying that flavors only appeal to children is ludicrous, unless you contend that all Canadians upon reaching the age of 19 exist on cream of wheat and water? I did not think so. 
Removing the flavorings from ejuice will effectively shut down the legitimate industry and send those consumers into either the black market or worse, back to smoking traditional tobacco. Today I can tell you I will never  smoke another tobacco cigarette, as long as this is an available alternative. 
Not letting the public see their choices in delivery systems (which incidentally look nothing like cigarettes) and prohibiting point of sale marketing would be crippling to our business. Again, this is not a cigarette where all you have to do is light the right end and go. People benefit from hands on demonstration of the product and instruction on care, use, proper handling of the device.
It is distressing to me that our honorable minister of health has brought forth this bill without the slightest understanding as to what this product is or how it works. Please, stop calling it tobacco. There is no more tobacco in this than there is in the coffee you drank this morning.
All I am asking is that before you jump on to this particular band wagon, you avail yourselves of the research that is available and make an informed decision about the inclusion of electronic cigarettes in Bill No. 60 and the proposed changes to the amendment. Please consider what this will do, not only to the dozen or so strictly vaping businesses in Nova Scotia that will inevitably be shut down, but also how this will affect the thousands of Nova Scotian tax payers that will lose this ability to continue on with this safer alternative to traditional tobacco.
This bill is old fashioned slight of hand designed to make it impossible for any MLA in the house (regardless of their affiliation) to vote against it. It’s battle cry? THINK OF THE CHILDREN AND GET RID OF FLAVORED TOBACCO ONCE AND FOR ALL. Then in the fine print it exempt the only flavored tobacco that anyone is even aware of. In reality it is a direct shot across the bow of anyone who tries to compete with big tobacco.
I am NOT a smoker, this is NOT tobacco and must not be lumped into the same category. I suggest that you remove mention of electronic cigarettes from this bill. If the Honorable minister of Health  would like to propose sensible regulation on electronic cigarettes as its own consumer product separate from tobacco, I am sure we would all be open to that.
The only thing this bill, as presently worded, will accomplish is the destruction of the most effective form of tobacco harm reduction to date and serves only to protect traditional tobacco from its only real competition.
Thank you for your time.
Until this legislation (Bill 60) was introduced, I and pretty much everyone I have spoken to was only aware of one flavor of tobacco and that would be menthol. Thanks to the liberal government I (and any kid that watches the news) am now aware of watermelon cigarillos. Sounds like the LIBERALS are the ones now marketing flavored tobacco to children. Great job!

So, after 49 people spoke (most against the bill as written, except of course the tobacco companies, they were all in.) what do you suppose they did? Removed all mention of flavors, including (yes, I said including) flavored tobacco.

Now the oposition is fighting to get the bill either thrown out entirely or to have menthol tobacco included in the ban. The Liberal majority government is digging in its heels.

What does this mean for our shop? We can't let anyone under 19 in the shop let alone sell to them. (not a problem, I hate kids) and we will no longer be able to 'vape' in public. Big deal.

We may not have won the entire war (that will come later) but we let the government know that we are not going to take their shit lying down.

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

SHOW GIVE ME THE MY MONEY!

Thanks to all the drug cartels out there, I am limited on how much of my own money I can have access to at any given time.

At least that is the bank's story and they are sticking to it. Its all about the money laundering laws.

Pretty bad when the biggest issue with running a business is getting access to your OWN money.

Daily, weekly, monthly, per transaction limits would boggle your fuckin' mind. Pretty bad when you have $30k in the bank but you can't pay your vendor because you exceeded your daily EMT limits.

Ask the bank what you can do? No, you can't get higher limits even though you have ten times the amount in the bank. Their suggestion? Get a credit card with a $10k limit. Can you say 'money grab'?

Read my lips. I DON'T NEED CREDIT, I HAVE MONEY, GIVE IT TO ME!

Sunday, March 2, 2014

FAT CHICKS OF THE WORLD, UNITE!

If you are a fat chick, do not buy a Chrysler. The guy at the dealership tried to charge me for a fat chick seat belt extender.
"Ya, I don't have any in, I can order one for $61"

"Excuse me? Uh, Ford gave me one for free."

"I don't know what to tell ya."

As I march my fat ass through the showroom, "I guess you are telling me that you don't sell cars to fat chicks!"

I went home and purchased one online for $17, pretty much the cost of shipping.

As fat chicks, I think we should boycott Chrysler.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Don't piss on my leg and tell me its raining.


People, please stop telling me that a gun ban would not help anyone.

"Criminals will find a way to get guns..." Blah Blah Blah

Honestly? I am less worried about the so called criminals than I am about that fucked up 20 year old who, on the day he snaps, has easy access to guns obtained legally by his mother.

Here's a question. What the fuck does a kindergarten teacher need with a semi-automatic assault rifle? Suppose she could have used it for protection? Wait, what? That didn't work too well, now did it? She had 3 guns 'for protection' and was shot with one of them. By her son who, so far, is not reported to be one of these criminals you speak of.

Michael Moore said in an interview with Piers Morgan that more than 80% of gun murders on the planet happen in the United States. 

Maybe, just maybe, they need to rethink a constitutional amendment that was written before there was an organized military much less any kind of law enforcement. 

Thursday, April 28, 2011

I call bullshit!

Motion sense technology in Degree deodorant.

Seriously? Do people fall for this shit?

"Well, the cartoon clearly shows...."

Friday, April 2, 2010

Its just rude!

I go into a slow burn every time I see someone in a store walking around talking on their cell phone.

If you find you are unsure of what you are picking up for someone and you huredly ring them to get clarification, that's one thing. But having a conversation about some daft thing your boyfriend did the night before while you browse the isles is just fucking rude!!!!

Carry on that conversation as you stand in front of me in line for the cashier, I can barely contain my contempt.

Then you give me the stink eye when you realize I can hear you, like I want to eavesdrop on your innane conversation with your friend.

The cashier is trying to ring through your purchases and you can't give her your attention for ten fucking seconds?

I just want to punch you in the throat!!!!

And I just might.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Not for nothin', but...

I really hate to be a bitch during the holidays but this this was too much.

Bunnie was over last night and brought The Sister and I coffee. Mine was to be a Triple Triple and her's, one cream



I have no idea what kind of fucked up hieroglyphics they were using but I really hope Bunnie did not tip.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

What is pissing me off right now?

Let's see:

- Ants in my bedroom/office. I took me a day to figure out where they were coming from. Old windows, cracks in the molding. FUCK ME, I hate crawly things.

- Environmentalists. Just fuck off.

- Commercials that use cartoon animation to illustrate how their product works. "Oh, the pill causes those red arrows to turn blue, so it must relieve headaches too." What? Who falls for that shit?

- Wildlife. I don't give a shit how cute raccoons are, I need them to fuck off or I need them dead. Either way, I am ok with it.

- Not-so-wild life. This means the cats that reside in my home. They contribute nothing to society and they wake me at 4am to let them out. FUCK OFF! If I figure out how to off the raccoon, you will be right behind it.

- Gas prices. There is no reason for us to be subject to gas prices set by foreign countries. If we didn't have so many tree huggers, we would be able to produce our own oil or other fuel alternatives. If Brazil can do it, why can't we?

I will tell you why, cuz those nuts are hell bent on saving the Spitting Shit Fly of Nunavut, so we can't drill in the north.(just one example)"OOOO we have to preserve the beauty of the wilderness." Why? I ask you. I don't see them spending their vacations there, giving those people an alternative source of income. They are so much more interesting to see in documentaries, the shacks, the igloos, eating whatever they can chase down. (Not seal though, we have been over this) "Oh I don't ever intend to set foot there, (insert snotty British accent) but I don't want you to ruin it, on the off chance I might want to some day." Yes, Paul. Whatever you say, Paul. (kneel and kiss the $400 alligator shoes)

- Paul McCartney. For so many reasons, including the above. I could go on about him for hours.

- Oprah. I blame her for everything.



- Mac commercials. Vista is not buggy. Hardware vendors have just been draggin' their asses on driver updates. I have been using Vista for a year without incident. "Oh but you have to perform expensive upgrades to your PC in order to run it." Are you serious? Upgrading a PC is cheap. You know how you upgrade a Mac? Throw it out the window and buy a new one. Don't get me started.

- Drivers.

That'll do for now.

Friday, May 9, 2008

Doing my part for Mother Earth.

Since all the celebrities say I should, I have vowed not to let my carbon footprint crush the earth under its heal.

From this day forward:

I will refrain from driving a gas guzzling SUV or a Porsche or a Ferrari. Not that I actually own any of these but, the fact is, I will still refrain.

I will switch to a hydrogen powered car, even though there is nowhere within a couple hundred thousand miles that sells hydrogen or hydrogen powered cars for that matter.

Under no circumstances will I be taking my private jet on short jaunts to the Riviera. I will just have to settle for lemonade on the deck with the cats.

I will recycle absolutely everything. Even though using recycled materials creates more pollution than it would to produce the same product using the natural recourse to begin with, since there are 6 extra processes involved as well as 3 extra trucks on the road to collect all that shit.

I will not buy Beluga Caviar out of season. Since the shipping alone will punch another hole in the o-zone.

I will insist that my servants come only from this country as to offset the cost of fuel to have a coyote truck them in from Tijuana.

I will donate the extra forty seven million in my bank account to the Kenya Reforestation project. (I do what I can)

You know what? I am sick to death of celebrities telling me that I need to reduce, reuse and recycle when donating the cost of one of the upteen botox/spa treatment they enjoy to plant a tree in Kenya would offset a hundred regular-folks carbon footprints.

So, fuck off!

Saturday, April 5, 2008

They are cute...but they are food.

They are just food. Food that, some people believe, if left to multiply like rabbits, would wipe out other food sources. Whether that is true or not, they are just food, and of course pelts. A "significant" source of income in many remote, coastal communities.

The seal hunt is not just a sadistic slaughter its a managed annual cull. Did I mention people eat them? I don't see you having a telethon for the cod fish, Paul. Oh, that's right, they aren't cute. (Oh and he doesn't pose with the seals that are actually part of the hunt, just these cute baby ones, who haven't been hunted since 1987, he almost got arrested for being this close one.)

So Paul McCartney thinks the seals are cute. Well, so is Bambi, but you aren't trekking through the woods of Tennessee and getting between Bubba and his ten point buck. No. Cuz Bubba would pop a cap in your ass. Whereas Canadians just ask you politely to step aside.

Tragedies have marked the seal hunt
this year. More than usual and I can't help but wonder if they are truly accidents.

The Sea Shepherd Society seems to be more aggressive this year compared to other years, (most likely because of Paul) going so far as attempting to water hose sealers as they are walking the ice flows. This is not some cast-a-net-and-haul-it-in operation, you have to get off the boat and walk on the ice flows. Very dangerous work.

Then the idiot captain of the Sea Shepherd, Paul Watson, makes some bone-headed comment after four sealers lose their lives when their boat capsizes.
"the deaths of four sealers is a tragedy," but added "the slaughter of hundreds of thousands of seal pups is an even greater tragedy."

"They are vicious killers who are now pleading for sympathy because some of their own died while engaged in a viciously brutal activity."

I kid you not!

Oh, but they are surprised by the reception they get when they try to dock at Saint-Pierre and Miquelon. Sailors were quick to make them aware that they were not welcome and cut their lines to set them adrift.

I know the face of the seal hunt protest is a cute little, furry, white baby seal. What they don't tell you is that baby seal hunting was banned in 1987. (BTW, the seals' white coats disappear after four weeks, while those animals killed in the hunt are eight weeks or older) People really need to get the facts before they just jump on Paul McCartney's band wagon. But I guess if they did, Paul Watson would have to get a real job.

FACT: A seal can eat 2-3 kilos of fish a day. The population is estimated at 5.5 million seal. The quota for the cull this year is (I believe) 270,000 seal. For some sealers, the seal hunt represents up to one-third of their annual income.

It is not just done, willy nilly, its called management of the fisheries, Paul, go fuck off somewhere!