Friday, December 24, 2004

My Bad!

I know, I know, I haven't been blogging in a while. No I am not dead, just internet-less. Blogging at work is hard but today is a very slow day.

On the house front, I am all moved in. However, the woman that owns the house has turned out to be (as I had suspected) a psychopath or at the very least suffers from Disassociative Identity Disorder.

The Canadian Tire mortgage fell through because the house was too old and only had 60 amp service. So the next mortgage the broker offered me was a 65% mortgage and another personal loan for the 35% between me and the owner. She refused it. I told her it was better than the original plan we had for rent-to-own for a year, at least she would have 65% up front. And after a year they would refinance the mortgage and pay her off. And then she said something that made me suspect the DID. "Oh I would have never agreed to rent-to-own."

Excuse me but could I talk to the other personality that I have been dealing with all along? Turns out she had an offer on the house. The guy was interested in buying it as a rental property. How much you wanna bet that having someone in the house renting was a selling point for DID woman?

But I think it may be a good thing. Considering the 60 amp service that would have to be upgraded to 110 in order for me to get insurance for the house. After the conversation with DID woman, I went upstairs to dry my hair and proceeded to blow the fuses for the entire second floor of the house. Perhaps a sign from God. That turned out to be the tip of the iceberg on this house.

I won't get into it, but the plan is now: If I can renegotiate the rent ($675 nothing included) with the new owner to a reasonable amount I will stay on. But if not I already have another place lined up around the corner that is $425/mo heated. In this neck of the woods that is dirt cheap rent. The only down side is moving twice in two weeks. The helpers might rebel.

My banker on the other hand is happy this did not work out. She says that if I wait a year, I can get preapproved for a mortgage and find the place I want instead of the first one that is available to me. Good plan, I think I will go with it.

Hope you all have a good Holiday, keep your stick on the ice.

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

You might be a redneck!

Got in touch with a mortgage broker and she came up with a couple different mortgages I can go with. I chose...drum roll please.

Canadian Tire. You heard me. Canadian Tire actually offers mortgages. Here's the kicker. You get $400 back in Canadian Tire money.

You might be a redneck if you get your home financed at Canadian Tire.

Way cool.

Thursday, November 25, 2004

House Update.

I decide to go to the bank and see if I can assume the mortgage for the house. The banker tells me I am 100 points away from qualifying for a no down payment mortgage. Shit! But she says this is good news. She wants me to rent-to-own for a year at which time I will not need a down payment. And that year will give me time to save up for the legal fees.

I relay this info to the owner of the house, "I am going to talk to my banker, I think there is a way around this." Ok, whatever she wants.

She calls me back yesterday, "Good news, I am going to write a letter saying I am your Aunt and gifting you the down payment."

"But I still need to save for the legal fees."

"Bah! Couple thousand dollars, I will pay the legal fees."

She is starting to freak me out. She is making it so I will pay nothing out of pocket. Too good to be true? Maybe, but I have nothing to lose, so I am going for it.

I just know she will be hit by a bus or something before the papers are ever signed.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

That was fun. Let's never do it again.

The storm is over and the power was restored yesterday. However, the internet just came back on a couple hours ago. Some people are still without power and are understandably pissed. Me, I was just happy I could finally take a shower.

After my harrowing journey home on Saturday night. I decided Sunday not to repeat the performance and stayed in town for the night. I went to stay with Donna, a friend from work.

The power was out everywhere so it was pitch black when we arrived at her home. We tried the front door and it was locked. Donna noticed a bag hanging on the doorknob, "I wonder what this could be?"

We make our way to the back door, feeling our way around the house, carrying this bag. The back door is also locked. We fish around in her purse and finally find the key, but it is for the front door. Back we go around to the front of the house.

Much slipping and toe stubbing later we finally get in the door. Feel around in the pitch black for candles, Donna says, "Hurry and light that candle so I can see what is in this bag." I light the candle, she reaches in the bag. Can you guess what it was? I just looked at her, "You old bat!" And we both double over in fits of laughter.

The landlord had hung a flashlight on the doorknob so we could find our way around in the darkness. It apparently hadn't dawned on her to actually feel the bag to determine what might be inside.

You know your old when...

Sunday, November 14, 2004

And so it begins.

Dashing through the fucking snow. First storm of the season and it is a whopper. In a perfect world I would be sitting in the comfort of my home in front of a roaring fire. However, the Undisclosed Customer Service Center� is equipped with a generator so I had to drag myself out of Butt Fuck Nowhere and into work.

Last night as the storm was just getting started I decided I would try and make way home. It was a white knuckle ride all the way. The road was not plowed or salted and it appeared that only one other person had driven that road (thankfully) so I had to drive in tracks of that poor unfortunate. Hoping against hope that he at least made it as far as my house. The trees were so heavy with snow that they were laying across the road, leaving just enough room for my car to get through.

I know what you are thinking. "What the hell was she thinking?" Believe me I was asking myself the same thing as my battery was starting to go dead.

Luckily I did make it home and the car died in the driveway. My brother had to drive me into work tonight. I will not try that treck again in the nighttime. I will stay in town tonight.

Don't ya just love winter?

Tuesday, November 9, 2004

No longer homeless.....and this time I really mean it......I hope.

The boy and I (and sister) went to see the house today. We love it. Ok, I love it and sister loves it but the boy could care less.

It has a fireplace (that works) and a cast iron tub. You know, the kind with feet? The kind of tub us fat chicks can actually get wet in.

Sounded too good to be true. I, of course, told her I would get back to her later in the evening or tomorrow. We go outside, I ask my sister, "What do you really think?"

"I love it, I think you should go for it."

So, later I stew over it, and my sister-in-law says, "Go for it, it might turn out alright, and if it doesn't it doesn't." Hmmmmm, wise words, what is the worst that could happen?

So, I call the lady back, "I am going to go for it."

Well, she surprised me then. The woman wants to bend over backwards to sell me this house. She is calling her bank and seeing what we can work out. She says whatever she owes on the house is what I will pay, she is even going to come down on the rent. As long as she breaks even she is fine with it. She has already told her daughter to be out by December first. "I think you are in the same boat as my daughter was and I feel that no matter what it takes I want you to have this house."

I hope she is not blowing smoke up my ass. But we are meeting tomorrow, after she speaks with her banker, and finalizing things.

I will be in my own place for Christmas. Ye haw!

And another thing...

I can't believe I didn't post anything on my birthday (Nov 3rd). I am 39, holy shit, did I say that? I had a good one, among other little gifts, the security guard at work gave me a racey card and a toonie to get a coffee at Tim's. Gotta love it.

Sunday, November 7, 2004

Gotta see a man woman about a horse house.

Meeting a woman tomorrow about the possibility of renting to own her house. Not sure if I can swing the $675/mo that she is looking for but it might be possible if I can convince my sister to come with me. It is 3 bedrooms really close to work so even if she won't consider it, I could take in a border from work.

She explained that after a year of renting, if I still wanted to buy, she would put all the monies she collected for rent against the down payment. Also there is the possibility of getting 100% financing from CMHC, I may look into that as well. I am just so tired of renting with nothing to show for it. This just might be the thing, I have a semi-good feeling about it.

Wish me luck.

Saturday, November 6, 2004


Was talking to the boy on the phone and heard his father in the background.

"I can't stand this, I can't wait till he moves out and things are back to normal."

I know what you're thinking ladies, 'she let that prince slip through her fingers?'

I need to find an apartment fast.

Thursday, November 4, 2004

From bad to worse.

Last week I had an apartment, for about 2 days. The landlord called and told me it was mine if I wanted it. It was on the same street as my old place, perfect I thought. Mind you it was for a lot more money but it was 3 bedrooms. Then the landlord's wife called me two days later to say she couldn't rent from me. She gave some lame excuse about me not leaving the place clean. I explained to her that the old landlord knew two months before that he was selling the place and at that time he had had a dumpster blocking my driveway for 3 months. He could have told me then and I wouldn't have had to leave so much junk behind, I could have thrown it out then. I also explained that the junk was neatly piled in the basement. It was hard to argue with and I knew there was something else she was wanting to say, then she comes out with.

"We have heard there has been problems with your son." WTF?

"My landlord told you that?"

"No, he said you paid your rent on time and that you were a good tenant, but we hear this from other people."

"What other people, what did they say? I have never had trouble with my son."

"I don't think we should discuss it."

What was going through my head was that I would like to argue with her a bit,then rip her head off and shit in her neck. Then I realized that she also lived in the building and I knew I didn't want to live there so all I said was, "Fine then, go fuck yourself." It was the only neighborly thing to do.

But I have to find a place soon. My son is absolutely miserable living with his father. I have to tell you what the asshole said, loud enough for me to hear through the phone. I was talking to the boy and heard his father talking to his girlfriend in the background, "I can't stand this, I can't wait till he moves out so things can get back to normal." Nice. What a prince. Hard to believe I kicked that one to the curb, eh?

All I could think of was, if I had killed him when I first wanted to, I would be out of jail by now.

Saturday, October 30, 2004

The cat came back the very next day!

When I moved at the first of the month I found places for most of my cats, except for one. The crazy cat my mother saddled me with. I figured I could leave it behind for a bit since it wasn't an inside cat. The neigbor was feeding it and last week I finally found a barn for it. This is the cat that shits in the food dish if he can't manager to finish the food in one sitting. He is only fit for a barn.

Anyway, I get this stupid thing in a carrier and off we go to the barn. That was a week ago, last night, the old next door neighbor calls me. The cat came back she says, "I don't know how far he traveled but he is back."

Fuck me! This cat is going to be the death of me. Now I am having nothing but cat problems. The white cat, Luci, who is staying with my cousin refuses to go into the house. She will sit at the door and meow to get in, yet once the door is opened she refuses to cross the threshold. Oscar, the boy who had babies is MIA. My brother called and said he/she has been gone for 2 days. I guess I am just not meant to have cats, well, not cats I want at any rate.

Well it is super slow at work, but I can't afford to go home early. I have to find an apartment soon.

Country living bites!

Sunday, October 24, 2004

Still not dead!

Just hybernating. I am sitting here at work, furtive glances over my shoulder, since it is not permitted to blog from work. Pretty slow here tonight. Not sure if I should try and recap all that went on since I moved out, or just go on from here,and post all that other shit later. Hmmmmm?

How about if I just grab the highlights and fill it in later when I am back online.

Camper living is ok, the boy got tired of it pretty quick, he only stayed the first weekend. It is getting a bit cold, but I bought a heater and all is well. I think I will have to actually look for an apartment soon. I am getting a lot of reading done, it is very quiet and peaceful. I barely turn the computer on anymore. I have a new toy, a Palm pilot, quite retro!

The country is nice but I am starting to get a little sick of it. And so is my sister, looks like I may be taking her with me when I go. She is secretly packing her shit. We went looking at houses today, she is definately not kidding around this time, at least I hope she isn't.

Well I think I have pressed my luck enough for one night. Hope you are all doing well, since I can't surf the net at home or at work.

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Goodbye cruel world.

Ok, so here I sit. Another night in an almost empty apartment. I would have gone down to my sisters but the chair is still here thus, so am I. We started moving today and were about to drag the chair out when it began raining cats and dogs. So I get one more day with the internet. One more night to down load a few more movies and TV shows. One more day in the 21st century and then it is a couple months living in the boonies with dialup access. SHIT!

Anyway, Oscar and Boogers are at my brothers so Luci has decided that she will now enter the house. She has been totally freaked out since Oscar had babies and has been avoiding this place like the plague. A half hour after the cats were gone, she was lounging in the middle of the living room, looking very relieved. We will see how she feels once we stuff her in a box to take over to Sonny's. I can pretty much guarantee she will be pissed.

So, this is the last regular post for the blog. I will have to fight my sisters teenage son for internet access. Not that any of you will notice if the commenting is any indication I will probably be back before any of you realize I am gone.

Before I sign off, I still have quite a few GMAIL invitations if anyone is interested just email me.

Monday, September 27, 2004

All ashore who's going ashore.

First day of real moving activity. For the last month I have been packing and sorting and mostly throwing things out. I have gone through about 40 garbage bags.

You know, you don't realize how much 'junk' you accumulate until its time to move it. Things you thought you just had to keep become less desirable in the face of finding a box that it will fit in.

My brother came with his truck today and his bum leg and helped Kimmy and I move some of the larger stuff. Kimmy, I have found is a work horse. I have been packing and mostly tripping over boxes for a month, and an hour after Kimmy showed up the kitchen was cleaned and the boxes neatly packed in one corner. She had my kitchen table apart and everything standing at attention waiting to be marched out the door and onto the truck. I had to act quickly a couple of times to save all my clothes from ending up in storage. She was unstoppable. I was in awe. I really couldn't have gotten this far without her.

In other news, the boy's father refuses to take in the boy's cat. Even after I told him that if he didn't I would have to have it put down. Not even for a month, not even for his son. Asshole.

My cousin, Sonny, will take care of Luci, my older cat, till I find a place. The crazy one (my mothers cat) is on its way to a barn near you. But my sons cat? Well I told my brother about Oscar's situation and he offered to take care of him till we find a place.

This is also the brother that paid for the boy to go to hockey last year. For being such a pain in the butt little kid, my brother has turned into a pretty decent adult. And on his way out the door he says, "If you got a litter box, I'll take that one too." (pointing to Boogers) Sigh of relief.

So here we sit, Boogers and I, in the last remaining chair (sans cushions), with my computer in front of it on a TV stand. I should be down at my sisters but I am clinging to the internet for as long as I can. Stockpiling movies and TV shows to watch in the camper.

Looks like I will be sleeping in this chair tonight, but thank God I stopped Kimmy just in time before she loaded all the blankets and pillows into the truck.

Saturday, September 25, 2004

Everyone has a right to my opinion.

Where to start? A lot has happened as far as work is concerned. Finally had it out with my TM. He failed me on a call coach. I never fail call coaches.

It was for an OS password. I told her that for security reasons we do not break, bypass or work around passwords. We could only help her reinstall and she would lose all data on the machine. He failed me for telling her she would lose her data. He asked a tech if the password could be broken and they said yes. However, whether they can do it or not is irrelevant, we are not supposed to do it, and any recovery of the data on that machine constitutes breaking the password. I fought it, I sent it to every TM in the joint and to the MO and I, of course, won. He changed it.

When I got back in the next day he brought me into the huddle room and we had it out. There was absolutely no diplomacy on my part, I am not one to hold back. I asked him if he had a problem with me to just spit it out. Don't hold back and I wouldn't either. An hour later we emerged. I think we are starting to see eye to eye.

So, tonight the MO comes over and asks to speak with me. We get into his office and he says, "Do you smoke?"


"Then what the hell are we doing here? Lets go for a smoke."
As we are walking out people are staring, I say, "Hey why don't you swipe me out and I will tell everyone you fired me."

"Not funny."
But he is laughing. We get outside and light up.

"I just wanted to get your take on how things are going. How the new TM's are shaping up."

"And your asking me?"
The man is brave, hope he isn't looking for sugar coating.

"I ask you cuz I know you don't give a shit about hurting my feelings. You will just tell me how it is." apparently not looking for the sweetened or condensed version.

So I let him have it, everything that everyone was complaining about. The Q management, he said he would have a meeting with all TM's to make sure they truly understand the concept. Stupid things in the coaching tool that bring down our score, scripting problems,(he is working with the client to change this) lack of staffing on the evening and weekend shifts. Anything and everything I could think of. He barely got a word in.

All in all it was a very good 'meeting' I think we will see some changes for the better. The MO is a good guy, I like him. And I know you are saying, "It's a good thing for him that she does."

HEY! I am a nice person. But if I don't like where you got it, I can tell you where to put it.

Monday, September 20, 2004

This is what I have to deal with.

I spoke to the boy's father today, always a treat. Told him I was starting to move things into storage because I wasn't finding a place. At the end of the conversation (believe me I make them as short as humanly possible) he says, "So, how much are you going to pay me? 100 dollars a week?" (referring to the amount of child support he currently pays) WTF?

I lose it, "What exactly is your fucking problem?"

"This has nothing to do with whether the boy comes to stay, but you will pay." Then he hangs up. That sounds like an ominous statement if you don't know the boy's half-wit, socially retarded father. He is a complete and utter moron.

First of all, in order to get child support out of me he would have to take me to court. This from a guy that wouldn't go into a bank to sign his own mortgage papers. There is no fear of court proceedings.

I am not paying that asshole one red cent. In thirteen years I can count on one hand how many times the boy has stayed overnight at his place. He has nickel'ed and dime'd me every step of the way. Oh, he paid his $100/week but not a cent more without an all out war. Even something as stupid as 20 bucks for school photos? He refused, well not exactly, he gave me the money and took it off the child support. (although still taking credit for paying for the photos) I just wish he would get over himself. We have been apart for thirteen years and he still acts like I punched him in the face yesterday.

I always try to have civil conversations with him to no avail. I could care less if he lived or died,(although I would prefer die) but I try for the boy's sake. Everything is a battle with him, last year he even refused to pay to put the boy in hockey, my brothers had to do it. (this year he agreed to half, exactly $187.50 and yes, he expected the change) He really doesn't get it. All he cares about is fucking me over, not realizing that he is doing it to his own son. I guess he figured out that it was the only way to get to me, since I could care less if I ever laid eyes on him for the rest of my life. He continues to break my heart by doing these things that make my son feel like his father doesn't even like him. I try to tell him that it is not because of him, that his father just does these things to hurt me. But even the boy can't make sense of that, so of course he won't believe me. And you can't blame him really, does it make sense to any of you?

Every day his father reminds me of what a favor I did for the boy and myself when I left him. I just wish I had left sooner so the boy wouldn't be saddled with such a mentally unstable person for a father. I really can't understand why he has held onto this for so long. Honestly, all I did to him was leave. That's it. And considering the shit he put me through I can't imagine he was surprised.

Every time I see him, all I can think is, 'I can't believe I slept with that fucktard!'

Friday, September 17, 2004

13 Days and counting.

Up bright and early today to get the boy off to school. I usually go right back to bed but today I am wired. I sent an email to MO last night to complain about the TM's management of our Q, so I am interested to hear what he has to say about it.

Still up to my eyeballs in boxes, and one kitten down.

This one should go today. A guy at work wants him/her? Well, you all know how good I am at determining the sex of a cat.

The boy still holds hope that his father will let him take one of the kittens as well as his cat with him when he goes to stay with him.

I hope so too, every time we discuss someone taking Boogers, he gets all choked up. No idea why, but he has bonded with that one.

If worse comes to worse, we can just tell the boy's father the cat is coming and to deal with it. Hope it works.

Anyway, wanted to mention to anyone that does not have a account yet. I have a few invitations, email me and I will send ya one.

Must get back to packing.

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Deep breath.

I know, I know, I am getting slack with the blog entries but there just isn't enough hours in the day to get everything done. Bit by bit I am packing this dump up but it is going to get worse before it gets better. It's an obstacle course around here, boxes everywhere. I can't get the storage place till the 20th so I am stacking them as best I can. Can't wait till this is over.

Had a team meeting with the new TM and vented for a half an hour. Think he may be seeing things my way. I am not the type who stews in silence. Surprising as that might sound. But if people don't know they are pissing you off, then they will continue to piss you off. Might as well get it off your chest. Then if they are still pissing you off, at least you know its intentional.

I tried to drill it into his head that if he doesn't know how to do something, then ask someone, and keep asking till you find out. Don't stumble around and hope you get it right. I don't want him to fail, I want him to get up to speed as quickly as possible. The sooner he does the better off we will all be. I even spoke to a couple of other TM's and brow-beat them into offering some assistance. They know what it was like to learn all this shit, they should be ashamed that they are just letting him swing in the breeze. (the 'you should be ashamed' thing hit the spot)

What else. Oh, we had a regular TM (as opposed to a pro TM) Managing the Q on Sat night. Wait, this might get complicated if you don't know how my job works. Let me give a little bit of insight.
We are paid for a service level of 85%, anything above, we don't get paid, anything below and we get penalized. If we are in Q (meaning a shitload of people are waiting on hold) then depending on how deep we go, our service level goes down. If we have no Q and are sitting around doing nothing (BTW my dream job) then our service level goes up, meaning we are available for calls, it rings twice and there we are. Then too, if we are sitting around doing nothing for too long, the service level goes down. (hope you sort of get the picture) So, when we are not in Q and our service level is good, we can afford to jump into Super Q (mixture of cc and pro) or PPA (internal) Q and help them without hurting ourselves.

Anyway, the cc TM takes us all out of pro and puts us in PPA, to purposely drive down our service level, which in my opinion is unethical, it is essentially cooking the books. But try and explain that to him? You see the higher ups just tell the TM's to manage the Q and assume they know what that means. Some of them do not. So, we have Professional customers calling in and hearing nothing but hold music on a Sat. night, they are not impressed.

Then there is the 'customer satisfaction' (CSAT) element. People are routinely surveyed and asked about their overall satisfaction with the service. Well if you are a professional and are calling on a Sat night because your entire network is down and you have to wait on hold just to reach a customer service representative, how do you think you would answer those surveys? Favorably? I think not. If we hit our CSAT goal each month we get a bonus.

There is a balance, and someone needs to get all the TM's on the same page. This is fucking with my bonus and I am not impressed.

I am ranting now, so I think I will post.

Wednesday, September 8, 2004

How will I occupy my time?

Called around to find out the prices for storage in the area and found a decent place close by for $60/mon. Not bad for a 9 x 12 unit, I pick up the keys on Thursday and will start to slowly fill it up.

The boy had a great first day, he likes the school and the teachers and there are some friends from baseball in his class. After school we went to check out my new digs, and I found out I will only be able to stay in it a month before it heads for storage. That's cool, by then it will be too cold to be in a motor home anyway.

Another distressing thought, I will be without internet for that time. What will I do? Culture shock. I will still be able to post to the blog from various places, but I'm not sure if I will be able to handle going cold turkey. It will be hard late at night (my preferred surf time) but I am stockpiling movies for the boredom. Anything you want to contribute, Grog? Maybe some PC games? I will have to try and figure out who I lent the Sims to.

I will have to break the 'no internet usage' rule at work so I can read my daily's.

Oh, and I am buying Forest's Palm Pilot, my birthday gift to myself. I always wanted one and he has had one just laying around, so, done deal. Now, all I need to fill out my geek gear is a laptop. I was thinking if I went laptop I would try an Apple. Just for something different. I have never laid eyes on one before and I keep seeing them for sale in the paper.

Just one of those things I always wanted to try. I have a feeling I will be doing a lot of that in the coming months. Here's hoping.

Tuesday, September 7, 2004

And he's off!

First day of school, 2004. Head to toe in sk8tr gear, the boy is stylin'. A walking advertisement, every teenagers dream.

Monday, September 6, 2004

On the road....again.

The landlord came to pick up the rent and informed me that he has sold the house. He needs me out by the end of the month. WTF? I freak out for a day or so, I could fight it, he really has to give me three months. How will I find a suitable apartment in 30 days?

Then it hit me. Why am I stressing? I can send the boy to live with his father, put my stuff in storage and stay with friends. Save some money, get caught up on some things and take my time to find the right place. Sounds like a plan. I will live with Kimmy. Settled.

Ok, not. I talk to my sister. "You don't want to do that. Come out here and you can stay in the camper." She calls it a camper, how cute. When it is a motor home, central vacuum, full bath. When my sister 'camps' she is definitely not roughing it. I like this idea because of my strange work hours, it would be easier and I won't be bothering anyone.

She is excited and every so often in the conversation she interjects with, "You do realize that you will be FREE?!"

"Ya, but I am trying not to let the boy see how excited I am."
This is going to be fun.

Sunday, September 5, 2004

Give me strength.

Last night our new TM (you know, the one that was clearly more qualified than me?)'accidentally' deleted the go-home-early list from the exchange public folders. Ok, anyone can make a mistake, right?

Tonight, he is in charge. Alone. I am a little uneasy, but who knows, he may pull it off. There are 5 of us scheduled for 5-1. We do not put our name on the go-home-early list because, well, there are 5 of us. We ain't goin' anywhere. Or so I thought.

Now, remember, since last night the go-home-early list does not exist on the server so you would have to actually put pen to paper. For shits and giggles two people apparently put their names on it. Just around 10 we are experiencing high call volumes, well for us, and I hit the button to see what's going on.

Two agents online. WTF?

ME: "Why are there only 2 of us on the phones? We are in Q."
TM: "Forest is on break."
ME: "And? Shouldn't there be more than 3?"
TM: "Oh, I let two go home."
TM: "I didn't check what time they were off and let them go." He has a big 'my bad' grin on his face, which really isn't endearing at this point.
ME: "Fine, then get your ass on the phones, we are in Q" He thinks I am joking. I am not joking.

So we remain in Q, Forest comes back and Enrique goes on break. Still Q ville. I am shooting daggers through TM. So finally my break comes up,we are out of Q, I don't even wait for Enrique to come back. I am pounding out my code into the time keeping system and hear.

TM: "I should take my 2 hours on the phones now." (TM's have to do 2 hours or 5 calls) "But I don't think I will get 5 calls, they are out of Q."
ME: "You could have 5 minutes ago, but no point in that, since then you might have actually helped us out. Wouldn't want that to happen now would we?" I head for break, seething.

When I return, and am once again pounding out my code on the TKS, he says to me, "You don't look very pleased with me." ha ha. I did not find this funny in any way, shape or form.

And I reply with a dirty look, "That's because I AM NOT!"

This guy is new, he should be trying to gain the respect of his team, but he is not even interested in the word. Apparently he spells team with an 'I'.

I think that since he fucked up, he should have stepped up and helped with the Q. But apparently he is not going to do anything unless it benefits him in some way. Thank God, A showed up to visit and I had a chance to cool down.

Later, about an hour before shift end, he asks me to dispatch my cases. What? Technically we are supposed to do that at the end of our shift and not before. But he needs to finish his report otherwise he will have to stay late.

My reply? "Uh, sorry no can do, that would not be procedure." If he wanted my help, he should have helped us earlier.

Tit for tat.

Wednesday, September 1, 2004

You say 'bitch' like it's a bad thing?

You've all seen that bar at the top of our once immaculate blog templates. Ya, and there is no getting rid of it, I have tried. So, tonight I decided I should see if it is at least useful and started to randomly surf blogs.

I have realized one thing in the past hour. Most blogs are dead fucking boring! Now I could handle boring if at least they would refrain from slaughtering the Queen's English. Please people, there is a spell checker on the dashboard, use it! After you have mastered that, try a little thing called grammar and punctuation. Fascinating things.

Instead of whining that no one reads your blog, investigate the reason. And because, as you know, it's all about me. I give you.

Top Ten Reasons I Won't Read Your Blog:

10. People who try to be deep and artsy, put me to sleep.
9. Politics, I am Canadian, I don't do politics.
8. Donation buttons. Get a job.
7. Dark freaky background and white text. Nuf said.
6. Anime makes me physically ill.
5. Animated gif's make me sea sick.
4. Your You're boring. I don't care what you ate today, unless it got you admitted to emergency.
3. Most people like to take a breath every once in a while, so for God's sake, punctuate.
2. If your life is so bad, why not just change it and quit torturing the rest of us with your whine and cheese party.

And the number one reason I will not read your blog.....

1. U kant speel.

You say 'bitch' like it's a bad thing?


Guess I should be more clear, I am not looking for perfection. But some of the blogs were physically painful to read. Some of them went on forever with absolutely no punctuation, spell check or grammar of any kind. If you make it difficult to read, no one will read it.

It's that simple.

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Another prequel disaster.

I watched Exorcist the Beginning today with the boy. He wanted to watch in the daytime because I told him how terrifying the original Exorcist had been.

Well, we could have watched this slop in a haunted house, it fell flat. Not really sure where they went wrong, I guess if I hadn't seen the exorcist and known it, I wouldn't have gotten most of the plot. I think brand new viewers would be lost.

"Exorcist: The Beginning" isn't a bad movie, it is just not a very good one. I give it a C+. by Robin Clifford (robin AT reelingreviews DOT com) Full Review

Almost entirely incomprehensible, Exorcist: The Beginning not only foregoes the straight-ahead, propulsive narrative minimalism of the first movie but also the creepy genius of its quiet, upper-middle class setting. by GEOFF PEVERE
MOVIE CRITIC, Toronto Star. Full Review

But don't take their word for it, see more reviews here. There seems to be a consensus. I was totally disappointed by it, and was so glad I downloaded it instead of paying good money to go the theatre.

The problem with this movie I think is that they don't focus on the religious aspect of the plot, which is what really gets ya, and I don't care what religion you are. I remember grabbing the bible afterwards and reading revelations. It made you think that their may be some truth to it, that is what makes it so scary.

My advice is rent the original and if you like it, move on to the Omen. Another really good nail biter movie.

Monday, August 30, 2004

Murderous intent.

A little background.
CC is a large group consisting of hundreds of agents in multiple locations across the globe. But Pro is a small group, around 80 (at our location), in two locations. Our location covers is 9am - 1am and the other is 24hrs so they cover us from 1am - 9am. Even smaller is the group that works my shift which is 5pm - 1am. On the weekend there is, at most, 6 people working in Pro. Last night it was 5 and one of those was off at 11, so essentially 4 of us till 1am.

Since the last shift preferencing, the team working the weekends has changed. With the old team, we would coordinate our own breaks and lunches as to not leave one poor soul on the phones to take all the calls. Now mind you it is slow on the weekends, but we do take calls. This 'new' group does not have the same work ethic or professionalism. One twit in particular I will showcase here.

During lunch, I ask the twit when her lunch is, she says 8:30 so I say, fine I will take mine at 8. My last break is at 10:30 but we are taking calls so I wait a bit so we are out of Q before I go. It's 10:45. I walk out and light a smoke, behind me comes Forest, another agent. Still fine, that means 3 on the phone, they can handle it for 15 minutes. I sit down, and I see the Twit walking through the break room, she comes outside and I look at her like she has three heads. "What are you doing?"

She gives me this stunned look and says, "It's my scheduled break." FUCK ME! That means there are two people on the phones, Bali and one of the newbies, J.

I shake my head and throw my cigarette in the ashtray and rush back. I get back to the phones and we are 7 in Q. Forest cuts his break short as well and heads back early to help. The twit comes back in, because she is left all alone outside and sits at her desk. We are still in Q and she just sits there. I shoot her a couple of dirty looks but she is that much of a moron, she doesn't get it. Anyone looking at me at this point would know I was steaming mad, but not this crayon.

Finally we are out of Q, I wait a few more minutes just to make sure and sign off my phone. As I sign out (again) for my break she comments in a cartoon, snow white voice. "Break time!" What the fuck did you think I was on before Twit! As I am banging out my code in the time keeper machine, the lone Team Manager calls me over. He realizes that I am fuming mad and asks if I am upset with him.

"No, I just have to get out of a job where I have to work with children." I explain to him what happened, and go for my break.

When I came back I planned to talk to the new team and explain to them that it was unprofessional to just take breaks, even if they were scheduled, if it would leave less than half the group on the phone. I wanted to express the need for teamwork when the team was so small. But I couldn't calm down enough. Even as I write this I want to strangle the Twit.

So I try to ignore her. She is having none of it. She keeps letting out these deep, heavy sighs that say, 'I'm bored, talk to me.' No fucking way, Twit, if I talk to you now I will grab you by the throat and squeeze the life out of you. I spend the rest of the night ignoring her, pretending I am talking on messenger and deep in conversation, all the while I was really typing gibberish in notepad.

Give me strength.

Thursday, August 26, 2004

Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

"Thank you for calling the Undisclosed Customer Service Center? my name is blah blah blah... Continuing case? Great, I am just going to check the hold time in that Q for ya. It looks like about 45 minutes"

"What? The last girl told me an hour and that was an hour ago."

"Ok, and now it's 45 minutes, it gets better as the night progresses."

"But she told me an hour so I called back, now you are telling me I have to wait another 45 minutes?"

I don't think this crayon gets the concept of HOLD. Average HOLD time means you have to actually BE on hold. I explain this to her.

"When she said the HOLD time was one hour, you would have had to be ON hold and you would have gotten a tech in an hour. That's what hold means."

"I wish she had of explained that to me."

"Well maybe she thought it was self explanatory?"

I think the moment that their brain catches up with them, they realize they are moronic and then turn around and take it out on you.



I now know the reason they have to put 'lather, rinse, repeat' on shampoo bottles.

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Someone's knocking and it ain't opportunity.

My yearly bout of cleaning frenzy was interrupted tonight by a knock on the door. The kind that every parent dreams of. I open the door and this guy says, "Are you so-and-so's mother?"

Lovely, "What did he do?"

"Well he didn't do anything, but his buddy busted my tail light."
That's just great. I knew in an instant who he was referring to and I am not surprised.

Last night I dropped the boy off at his friends house and he told me he was going to another friends. I ask him who and he tells me, "Buddy"

"Buddy who?"

"Buddy Boy."

"The same Buddy Boy who tore the cable off the side of our house last summer?"
This kid is trouble, always been in trouble, for the stupidest things this kid gets in trouble.

"Ya, but he's not like that anymore, Mom. He's trying to get his life together." Always willing to give the benefit of the doubt, I say, "Fine, but if you get in trouble I am not coming for you, I will send your father." He assures me they are just going to play PS2.

So, back to the guy at my door. I tell him, "I know exactly who did this, it was Buddy Boy. Talk to the police, they know him." Even though this guy knows that my boy didn't do this, I tell him that we will pay for half the tail light.

Later when the boy comes home, I tell him this and he goes ballistic. Why should he have to pay when he didn't do anything. I explain to him that sometimes you have to pay for the bad choices you make in life. This time it was hanging with at kid that gets into trouble at the drop of a hat. I told him, "Just be thankful that the kid hadn't decided to burn someone's house down while you were with him."

The boy is more upset that he can't hang with this kid, he says he is nice, and they have fun playing PS2 and just hanging. But this kid is not wired right. He has more problems than anyone knows.

What kind of person just walks down the street and decides at random to bust someone's tail light? For someone who is 'trying to get his life together' he sure has a funny way of showing it.

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Zoo Tycoon.

Went out last night to a friends house to pick up a couple gerbils. I missed having them and she keeps a shitload to feed her snake, so she gave me a couple. She also has, in a separate tank, mice, lots and lots of mice.

I approach the tanks and am slightly amused to see hamster wheels. Ok, this is a staple of any good rodent cage, but it seems kinda sadistic here. After all, these are not pets, they are food. I stick my hand in the tank and a dozen of the more stupid gerbils approach my hand and try and climb up.

I shouldn't say stupid, because the appearance of the 'big giant hand' could mean food or it could mean someone is going on a long trip that they shan't return from. And I suppose no one has ever returned to tell of the horrors of being eaten by a snake.

I pick a couple of small black ones, Jay and SilentBob. These two don't know it yet, but I just saved their lives.

I then direct my attention to a smaller tank with the mice, again with a hamster wheel. As I am oooing and awwwing over the cute little things, face to the glass, one of them turns and HOLY SHIT! That one is a boy!

Just a tip, if you are wondering if the mice in the pet store are boys or girls, wonder no longer. I am here to say that you cannot mistake a girl for a boy in the mouse world. This thing had balls. Huge balls, gigantic, drag on the ground, hairless balls.

Picture if you will, a tiny mouse the size of your thumb. Cute eh? Now put human balls hanging off it, the size of two plump peas. I wish I had a picture, because my discription really doesn't do it justice. I am completely traumatized.

I think she probably just drowns the boy mice, cuz ya just know the snake would gag on those puppies. You thought German Shepherds were bad? They got nothing on mice.

Saturday, August 21, 2004

Am I part of some sort of sleep deprivation experiment?

I woke up this morning to the sounds of the girl upstairs moving out. Just when I thought I might be able to sleep in (no construction) she backs a truck up to my bedroom window. JESUS!I live in a duplex, I live down and she lives up. My bedroom window is right next to her entry door.

It was an ideal arrangement because she had 3 jobs so she was never here. That was good for me because she was never around to complain when the boy made too much noise.

This is upsetting, I may have to become a good neighbor. That sucks on so many levels. I am a good neighbor, but the boy is not. Which means, I will be the one to suffer.

It is interesting that the landlord didn't mention this to me since we usually chat for a while when he comes for the rent. Perhaps it was a spur of the moment thing. Will have to ask him.

Anyway, finally had to get my ass out of bed, couldn't stand the commotion any longer. This will probably go on for a few days and then I can look forward to the next ones moving in.

No rest for the wicked.

Wednesday, August 18, 2004


I can't believe no one posted on the whole 'David Copperfield being Jesus' thing.


Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Six of one, half dozen of the other.

Capital one called me today, I was wondering why because I had been talking to one of them a few weeks ago and we made arrangements for me to pay $50 every two weeks to get the balance down.

So this guy calls today. Just to set it up, before his call I would be paying $100 by Sept 9th. That's two payments. So he calls up telling me he wants to set up payments. I told him I was already talking to a guy (Sam) and we had already done that. He tells me that Sam was in a different department and that my file was sent to his department now and we had to make other arrangements. WTF? Ok, so why did the other guy give me payment arrangements only to pass me off to another department to do the whole thing over again.

Fine, lets make arrangements again. I told this guy (BTW his name is Emron, what is up with that?) that Sam and I made arrangements for $50 per pay.

"But this is no good, we need $105 by Sept 5th in order to get the account up to date." I told him the 5th was no good cuz I don't get paid till the 9th. He says "Ok, by the 9th then."

"Great, then its a deal, are we done?"

"So, can you pay $70 right now?"

"What happened to $105 on the 9th?"
It was like, if you agree to something, they don't hear you, so they go for a different number.

"We need $70 by the 26th."

"Then why didn't you say that before, we already agreed that you would get $105 on the 9th, you want $70 more right now?"

"No, 70 now and 35 on the 9th."

Ok, this is getting long and drawn out, I will cut it short, it goes on for 15 minutes. Finally I say ok, whatever you want.

"I am just curious. Do you realize you just irritated the hell out of a customer for 5 extra bucks? Sound good to you? I am hanging up now before you ask for a 60/40 split." He was stunned and I hung up.

What we have here is a failure to communicate.

Monday, August 16, 2004

Again I say, Thank God for Americans.

For without them, I have no job.

"Thank you for calling the Undisclosed Customer Service Center™ my name is blah blah blah...Can I have your first and last name please?"

"Uh, I just have a simple question." He probably means moronic, that's why he doesn't want to give his name.

"Well I am not a technician..." They don't get this statement, and usually just keep on talking.

"I just installed a sound card." And he does not disappoint. "Do I still need speakers, or will the sound come out of the card?"

There are no simple questions, only simple people.

Sunday, August 15, 2004

I'm up! I'm up!

Ok, I like Jesus as much as the next guy, but why the hell does he need bells? I mean come on! I don't even think they had bells back in the day and I am pretty sure if you asked him now he would say, "Ixnay ethay uckinfay ellsbay." at least until after, let's say, noon? Ok, so Jesus wouldn't use pig Latin but I don't know real Latin so it will have to do.

So, since I was so rudely awakened, I set off for coffee. The rude bell ringers are lining my street, making it difficult to maneuver. They park like idiots, I supposed putting faith in God that us heathens won't sideswipe them cuz they are parked half-ass crooked with their front end jutting into the street. I finally get out of my driveway without scraping paint and I see a bumper sticker on one of the bell ringers cars - CHRIST WILL COME AGAIN. Holy shit, I hope not.

Can you imagine if he did? Good lord, he would have to play it a lot different this time. None of this loaves and fishes crap, he would have to show some serious destructive power or he would simply be mugged in the street or locked away in the loonie bin. He really wouldn't stand a chance in this day and age. And his dad would then have to destroy the planet, cuz his kid didn't even get the chance to turn some water into wine.

In fact he probably wouldn't even have been born. Virgin birth? Joe of today would not deal with that shit as well. He would snap Mary's neck and be doing 20-life.

He would probably have to sneak Jesus in, forget the star in the east, the prophesies, none of the "I am the son of God" shit. Stay under the radar, but still get some attention. Maybe get the message out subliminally.

Hey! Maybe David Copperfield is Jesus? He does act kinda weird and he flys. If you think about it, it's genius.

Thursday, August 12, 2004

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

I was on my way home from a 'friends' house the other night and stopped into work to change the password on my computer since it was about to expire. Someone commented on my wet hair and I told them I had just gotten out of a hot tub.

They gave me this look. "Who's hot tub?"

"Wouldn't you like to know."
Again, an incredulous look.

Ok, just because I don't broadcast my sex life, doesn't mean I don't have one. Or several for that matter. I live alone, but I am by no means lonely. I don't date in the sense that I go out to dinner or the movies. I am more of a booty call kinda gal, only I make the call. I have a few 'friends' that I 'visit'. We have fun, we part, simple. Un-complicated.

Once you broadcast it people start in, "Oh, who is he? When can we meet him? What's he like?" Like? I don't know, do you really want the gory details. I don't know what the hell they are like, decent guys I guess. I don't have any deep philosophical conversations with them.

At this point in my life, sex is just sex. When you are young, sex is a part of getting involved with a person. It leads to living together, possible marriage. If your lucky the sex is still good, but most times it is just something to do. It becomes a treat, like watching a good movie or eating out. (no pun intended) I don't feel like going through all the soap opera shit, with having the boyfriend meet the son, having that boyfriend end up being an asshole and starting the whole process over again. It's brain dead, and pointless.

I have done my time, lived with someone for years. Right now sex isn't something I expect once or twice a week, or something I wish would lead to something else, its just sex.

Great sex, mind you. But just sex.

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

My schedule.

I don't know how I get any sleep at all. They are still doing road construction on our street. After months of this racket they had better be paving that bitch with gold.

Does anyone care that I work nights? NO. What is it with people in general? "Oh, you don't have to work till 5, you can take me for groceries." Ok, you work at 8am? I will call at 4am and ask you to come over and fix my car. What? That's about as crazy as what you are asking of me. I get home at 1am, but I don't go to sleep. I am up till at least 5 or 6, then you call at noon and are surprised that I am still in bed. FUCK OFF!

And another thing...

My days off are Monday and Tuesday. MY days off. My days off. My days off. Are you getting this? They are My days off. The days in which I do not have to work, or anything else for that matter. Once again. MY DAYS OFF! MINE! MINE! MINE! Do not take it upon yourself to schedule me to do something for you. FUCK OFF!

Don't bother calling me just to say hi,(like that ever happens) because I will not ever answer the phone. I am done trying to explain this to people.

Sunday, August 8, 2004

Of course this is my fault.

"Thank you for calling Undisclosed Computer Software Company� my name is�blah blah blah Can I have your name and phone number please?�

"Jesus Christ, I was just talking to someone and he hung up on me."
Great, a fishwife, she is screaming her head off.

"I'm sorry about that, can I have your name and phone number please?"

"I already gave that, I need Graham back, can I get back to Graham?"

"As soon as you give me your name and phone number I will see what I can do."

I get her info but I have no record of her calling. "You were talking to a support proffesional?"

"Yes he was having me uninstall some software and he hung up on me!"

"Ok, did you get a case number? I am not finding you in my system."

She loses her mind, she didn't get a case number, or an extention number for 'Graham' she wants him back. I try to explain to her that this building alone has over a thousand people in it, finding Graham would be difficult. I ask a few questions to see where she may have gone without a case number. It is very rare that she would talk to a tech without one. Finally I tell her that we will have to start the process over, I appologize but it is the best I can do.

"FINE! But make it quick, I am loosing patience with you fucking people!" Nice, you kiss your mamma with that mouth?
"Can you read to me everything it says on the face of the disc?"

"For distribution with a new PC, for product support contact the manufacturer of the pc..."

"And who is the manufacturer of the PC?"


"Mamme, we do not manufacture PC's, we are a software company. Who is the manufacturer."


"Ok, but mamme, this is not Gateway.
PAUSE FOR EFFECT If you like, I can transfer you to Gateway."

"This is fucking rediculous!"
I agree. This woman is giving me attitude because she called the wrong number.

This is what I have to deal with.

Friday, August 6, 2004

The brood.

Pictures of the brood, as promised.


This is no tail, the one we thought was a rat. He is so cute, when he feeds he sticks his butt in the air and he looks like a tiny polar bear.

These are the black and white ones, the boy wants to keep one of these. I believe the one wearing lipstick but I can't be sure. I am hoping he gets over it.

Thursday, August 5, 2004

Dude looks like a lady. (or is it lady looks like a dude?)

It is 6:45am and my son bursts into my room.

"MOM! Something is crawling under my bed!" WTF? Jesus, I just went to bed 3 hours ago."It's making noises! MOM!" He's totally freaking out.

I race to his room, thinking, what the hell got into the house? As soon as I open the door I see it. A small, wet thing, crawling across the floor. At first I think it is a rat or something and prepare to beat it to death with a shoe. I swing back and am about to bash its brains in when I decide I should probably take a closer look. I flip the light on and then I realize what I am looking at. A small, wet, white kitten.

OK, I sound off! Luci is fixed and the other two are dudes. WFT?

Did one of my cats kidnap a baby? Do I have a degenerate living in my midst? I notice the kitten is on a mission. He is looks like he knows where he is going, he is trying to get back under the bed. Okey Dokey, I pull the bed out only to find Oscar, curled up in a ball with two more kittens.

This is interesting. I look at him, well her I guess now, "Dude! You had babies."

That's when the boy totally freaked out "What are you talking about?"

" it looks like Oscar had babies."

The boy is mortified, "You're lying! Oscar is a boy!" The look on his face is priceless. The laws of nature have been broken and he can't deal.

Oscar is equally freaked out. He She, has no idea what to do. I had to get a box together and lay him her in it so the babies will feed.

What is so freaky is the three babies, look just like the three adult cats we have. One is all white, like Luci. The other two are black and white, like Oscar and Babe.

Hey, wait a minute. You think Babe could be the father? Guess that is possible. Pictures to follow.


I just picked up the white one, and thought there was something odd with him but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Then it hit me, he has no tail. Weirdest thing.

All fun and games till someone snaps your neck.

Our MO (Manager of Operations), lets call him....hmmmmm.... Moe, ya, Moe.

Moe comes up to me when I am on a call and says, "Can I talk to you when your done, Bud?" When he calls me Bud, it can't be good. So when I finish the call I go find him, he is talking to another MO so I wait, and wait, and stew, and wait some more. Finally we start to walk to his office. On the way he says,

"I just wanted to talk to you about PPA." Bane of my existence for over a month.

"Oh kay." I say, very slowly. Where is he going with this?

"We are looking at having an agent full time for PPA that would be a dedicated PPA agent at this site." FUCK ME GENTLY! HE DOES NOT THINK IT WILL BE ME!

My heart is pounding, I am speechless, I try to speak and all that is coming out is a panting sound. Finally I say, "Moe, you do know that I almost lost my mind on that Q?"

"Yah but you did so well............"
then he cracks, he is doubled over, "I can't do it, I'm just kidding, TM thought it would be funny, and he was right." He is laughing his ass off.

"Jesus, Moe, I was just about to drag you into that cubicle and snap your neck, don't do that! That is not funny!"

"Yes it is, its the funniest thing I have every seen."
Speaking of the look on my face. He falls into his chair, still laughing. I am still trying to get my breathing under control, and plotting my revenge against TM.

Turns out he just wanted my thoughts on how the PPA thing went and info on call times. I go in search of TM. When I find him, "Very funny, Brat! Hope you have eyes in the back of your head."

Your gonna need 'em.

Wednesday, August 4, 2004

Going to have the bullshit fed back to me.

Haven't posted regularly because it has been so f'ing hot! Jesus, I stay in bed all day with the fan on and can't wait to get to work just for the AC.

I am still trying to get an appointment with HR for feedback on my resume. I have to find out what the hell they want me to say, cuz I sure as hell can't figure it out.

BTW the guy that got the job "owned his own business". That 'business' happened to be pizza delivery, but, hey, that's fine. Now don't get me wrong, he is doing well but any monkey could do the job. That probably explains why they have stuck with this idiotic system for so long. It is not like the TM's have their finger on the button or anything, its not rocket science.

They say that their system is 'fair'. Of course the only people it is fair to is the unqualified people with a flair for bullshit. It really doesn't matter if you are qualified or not, if you can get past the bullshit in HR, your in. It would be more fair if they just put our names in a hat.

One TM got the job by flat out lying on his resume, I know because I got a hold of that resume. Two of the companies he said he worked for didn't even exist, I checked. Apparently HR does not. They use some kind of fucked up point system for grading resumes. I will take notes in feedback and let you know.

This should be interesting.

Sunday, August 1, 2004

Never work with animals or children.

Tonight we were severely under staffed at the Undisclosed Customer Service Center�. At 9pm there were three agents online taking pro calls. An older lady (J), me and PatPrick. (no I didn't spell it wrong) We were in Q the entire time, steady. At 11 PatPrick's shift would be over so J and I coordinated our last breaks as to not leave PatPrick to hold down the fort alone.

At 10:55 I am curious as to how high the Q is so I hit the Q button to reveal 5 in Q with 2 AOL (Agents online) WTF? J is on a call, I am signed in, where is PatPrick. Few more minutes tick by and there is PatPrick, punching out.

ME: "I thought you were off at eleven?"
PPrick: "Ya."
I point to my watch.
PP: "Couple minutes, big deal."
ME: "We are in Q." I want to add, asshole, but I don't.
PP: "Well good luck with that ladies."

I give him the finger. How fucking rude, what a prick. Chivalry is officially dead and buried. I am raging. He is lucky that I was on the phone and didn't have anything heavy to drive at him. (I do not throw like a girl.)

I am steaming, I message the only TM on duty. I don't give a shit if this asshole thinks I am a royal bitch, I want the fucker capped. It's called call avoidance, and it's rude.

This is what we get for working with children. J agrees, although I think she was scandalized by my foul language. Couldn't be helped.

Friday, July 30, 2004

PFO letter #2

Guess who's short-attention-span sister did not call her friend in HR?

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Bullshit update!

Yesterday my sister was here to file for unemployment online. I was lamenting again (important word to note) about my problems getting past the HR people at my job. After about a half hour she comes out with, "Oh hey, my friend is working HR over there now."

WTF? "Are you on crack? Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"Oh, I thought you knew. Hey, I should call her."
Ya think?

Anyway, long story short, she is going to call her 'friend' and find out why I can't get past them. Although I am at the mercy of her short attention span.

I will let you know if it does any good.

Sunday, July 25, 2004

What the hell am I supposed to do with this?

I have no idea what to do now. I click on all this shit to go to the symantec site but there has got to be a better way to deal with this. I will be at it all day by their accounts.WTF?

Adware blows!

Saturday, July 24, 2004

The music industry is screwing itself.

The Society of Composers, Authors and Music Publishers of Canada, which collects royalties for musicians, has targeted dental offices in its latest campaign. The group is asking them to cough up a yearly fee if they use copyrighted music to entertain patients.

If they would evenly disburse the money in the first place instead of paying artists a boatload of money, they wouldn't be trying to grab nickels and dimes from the public. Just another reason that they are getting no sympathy from the general public.

People are used to the music just being there, now they want to regulate when we can overhear it? Oh, that will get people to stop downloading it off the internet. What the hell are they thinking? I don't think they are, that's the problem. Here in Canada, we play a royalty on blank CD's now, on the off chance we use those CD's for burning music. That has got to piss of the people who don't burn music, enough so that they may consider it in the future. After all, they are paying for it whether they do it or not.
SOCAN said it has successfully collected the fees so far, but if someone refuses to pay, it could sue for copyright infringement. Things rarely go that far, the group said.

Almost sounds like 'protection' money. Smacks of Mafioso tactics.

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

Don't forget to flush.

I am about to take another run at a TM position and I have bullshitted up the resume expanding it from three pages to six. Mainly because one of the 20 somethings that got an interview actually put bullshit on his cover letter.

Not figuratively...literally. He made a list of reasons why he wanted the job and each bullet point started with a different letter in the word bullshit. I kid you not! And the resume was 12 pages long! So clearly they are looking for bullshit. After all this kid is 21, I am almost 40 there is no physical way for him to have more experience or training than I have. I have been alive twice as long!

One thing that really irritates me about this whole process is that the HR department screens the resumes and decides who gets an interview. This is baffling because the HR department has no idea what is involved in the job. They have never worked the floor and they take no direction from TM's that are actually doing the job. In fact they totally disregard the recommendations of those TM's.

As I said before two of us who got 'highly recommended' by our TM's did not get interviews. So the fact that someone who actually does that job, recommends someone who they believe can do the job as well means nothing to these people. What are they basing their decisions on? Should there not be a member of the TM group involved in this process? Or at the very least some sort of committee to screen the resumes. It is sort of like the counter staff at MacDonald's deciding who pilots the space shuttle. Makes about as much sense.

To make matters worse, I don't have time to go in for 'feedback' with these people to find out what they want me to put on my resume. I obviously cannot change my experience or education unless I try time travel, I just need to know how to get past these crayons.

"Excuse me, but what bullshit do you need to hear in order to get an interview with the people who actually know what the hell they are doing and can ascertain whether I can do this job or not?"

Sunday, July 18, 2004

Ain't nobody here...

I am sitting here in tears after reading a post on Jack's page. His father died on the 13th after a long battle with illness and as soon as I saw his picture my heart sank and I just started bawling.

It brought it all back. My fathers death. Even after 15 years, it still breaks me.

My father and I were very close. Conspirators really. We liked the same things and people, and we disliked the same people. (mostly my mothers family)

At family functions you would see us sitting together, most times being ignored by my mothers family. I was the black sheep and he was the man that wasn't good enough for my mother. They were right in the beginning, he was a drunk. By 1978 he was sober but they still gave him the cold shoulder, which was fine by him because he thought most of them were pretentious. We enjoyed our black sheep status, because it meant we didn't have to pretend to be interested in their bullshit. We could just sit back and enjoy the show. And it was a show.

We were the ones who snickered when one of them would walk out of the bathroom with toilet paper hanging out of their skirt. It was an unspoken bond. We never had any deep discussions, just a kinship. Two outsiders. When we set out on vacation with a convoy of cars it was always my father and I in one.

We could communicate our feelings with a look. Someone would make a comment and both our eyes would roll. It is hard to explain, but we didn't have to talk. Neither of us were what you would call huggy people. My mother's family was always kissing hello and kissing goodbye, and I would cringe every time they tried to wrap their arms around me. I still find it uncomfortable. I think if you want to hug someone go ahead, but don't do it just because it's the thing you do when you say hello or goodbye. It's just felt insincere.

I think at the end my father may have regretted his lack of outward expressions of affection. But with me he never had to. One of the last times he was in hospital, he looked at me and said, "I love you." then he started to cry. I wrapped my arms around him and he said, "I just realized I never said that to you before."

"You never had to."
I always knew he loved me, and he knew I loved him. I sat with him as he died. I held his hand. I squeezed it when he drew his last breath. It was hard, but I wouldn't have had it any other way. The two black sheep, proud to be so.

And then there was one.

Saturday, July 17, 2004

PFO letter received.

Well it's official, I got my PFO (Please Fuck Off) letter today. They "have selected candidates whose qualifications more closely match" their needs. Meaning I don't have the bone structure for it. My knees are bad. I shouldn't totally dis it because there was one person who got an interview that I wouldn't mind having as a TM, Go Anna! But some of them? All I can say is "what the hell are they thinking?"

Ok, to say I was not pleased is to put it mildly. My TM was not pleased either. I don't know what the hell they want. There is no rhyme or reason to their selection process, that I can see anyway. Incidentally, the two people that got "highly recommended" from their TM's were not granted interviews. So we know that didn't mean shit in the grand scheme of things.

Then we are hit with skills verification. Our TM's listen to calls and make sure we know what the fuck we are doing. After - a - year! WTF? I was not in the best mood to begin with. Then he tells me I have to do a typing test. "What is the minimum?"

"30 words a minute." Fine, I can do that in my sleep.

"Whatever." I had a bad attitude. I sit down to type, get a few lines in and I can see him out of the corner of my eye, I turn to him, "Are you going to stare at me the whole time?" He walks away.

Even having to stop and tell him to "get away from me" I got 53wpm. I get up, "Are ya happy now?"

I was irritated. Mainly because I had to take some stupid test last night as well. This would not have irritated me quite so much if I hadn't found out that in order to get 100% on that test you had to actually answer 2 questions wrong. I kid you not!

The test was wrong, and in order to have them mark you right you had to answer 2 of them incorrectly. I refused to do so. I did the test and answered all the questions correctly and got 93%. I screenshotted the 'wrong' answers as well as the proof that they were indeed correct and submitted my test. I wrote at the top, "My score is 93%, I protest this score, as I got every questions correct."

The incompetence in that place boggles the mind, and they reject me as management material. The probably realize that I would most likely call them on all the stupid, incompetent shit they get away with now.

Friday, July 16, 2004

And how long have you known this?

Half of the calls I get at the Undisclosed Customer Service Center� are people who have "lost" their Internet Explorer. They can't surf the net, because IE will not open. Their ISP tells them that they need to reinstall IE, either by using their OS disc or ....wait for it...downloading again from the internet.
If they can't get their browser to open, how do they download from the internet?
I will tell you how. And it baffles me that they didn't give us this information before. If you open your 'my computer' folder (or any folder for that matter)  and type a website into the address bar, it goes to that website, without internet explorer. Because windows explorer and internet explorer use the same shell.
Wouldn't you think that that is useful information that we could perhaps pass on to the customer? You can't imagine how many times I have charged someone to go through for technical support for just this issue.
Geeks are an odd bunch. They keep the really cool information to themselves.

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

Work. I could sit and watch it for hours.

Today I sat in the shade of my porch and watched as three young men toiled in the sun. Sweet.

The house next door was having it's roof done. So I sat on the porch and pretended to read the paper. Hope they didn't notice it was upside down.

Nothing like a few good twenty-ish men toiling in the sun. Sweaty, shirts off, sun glistening off them. Could watch it for hours. Better than pay-per-view.

Wonder if men realize that we sit back and ogle them? Women always bitch about it, being ogled by men. But I bet you they would be more pissed off if the ogling stopped. Do men feel objectified? Do they feel like 'meat'? Beefcake? Would they be self-conscious? Squirm a little?

That could be interesting too. Hey guys? If you have your shirt off, and are doing manual labor of any kind? Rest assured there is a woman somewhere out there who is peeking through the curtains and drooling over ya. Think about that.

While your at it, could ya try bending over more? That's dead sexy.

Sunday, July 11, 2004

Soothing this savage beast.

I need to stop thinking about this job interview. I need some soothing music. Dig out the Andrea Bocelli, Josh Groban et al. I will share some of it here. I tell you, those Italians know how to turn a phrase.

I am a complete sucker for an Italian accent. No matter what they say, it sounds beautiful. They could be telling you to eat shit, and it sounds so good you actually consider it. And the Spaniards are no hacks either.

Of my love you are so sure
So sure you can take it with you
Cupped in the hands that you raise to your face
As you still think of me.
And if you need to, you can show it to the world.

              From Sogno(Dream)

Or this one:
All you'll know for sure
is the more she makes you suffer
the more you find you love her.

              From Nel Cuore Lei

Or this one:
Forget about me
And let me go on alone with my solitude
Go away, go on and tell me goodbye
And I will resign myself to go on without your love
And I will never understand what happened
If there's nothing I can do, go away.

              From Alejate - that button you have been avoiding
              over there on the left, my current favorite.

There is something about hearing it in another language (not necessarily Italian) that makes my toes curl. I need soothing music, since the boys father just visited me. I know what you are thinking, that we got in a huge fight and I need to calm down. It was quite the opposite, which is more disturbing. He was civil. He showed up and the boy was not here. We "chatted" (yes, I said chatted) and he turned to leave and said, "Want a coffee?", I said sure. Then the boy came home and they drove off. I figured that was the end of it.

No, they came back with coffee. He and the boy sat at my kitchen table and we chatted for about an hour. Very civilized, even jovial. This makes me uneasy.

We have been apart for 13 years, yet he usually acts like I punched him in the head yesterday. He rarely has a civil word for me. But every once in a while he throws this at me, no idea what is up. Last week he dropped off the child support early, without being asked for it. I refer to these episodes as the signs of the apocalypse.

As promised a list of songs I am soothing myself with:
Sogno(Dream) - Andrea Bocelli
Broken Vow - Josh Groban
Con Te Partiro - Bocelli
Vivire - Bocelli (with Gerardina Trovato)
Nel Cuore Lei - Bocelli (with Eros Ramazzotti)
Alejate - Groban
Stary Stary Night - Groban

Although these are soothing, you also need the visual (it all helps with the mood). Bocelli and Groban.

Eros Ramazzotti is not too fuckin' hard to look at either.

Ok, I will stop now. I am calm.

Sign from God.

Got this in an email today.

Think it's a sign? It could mean, I got it or I should be looking elsewhere. Then again, it could just mean I have to beef up the anti-spam filters.

Saturday, July 10, 2004

Tick, Tick, Tick, BOOM!

This process of getting a new TM for pro in place could move very quickly.

The new pro class starts training on Monday. I have heard that they would want the new TM in place by the time that class hits the floor. Training is 7 days. SEVEN DAYS! That's it!

That could limit the people who actually get interviews. They just woundn't have time to interview everyone, and I believe that 13 have applied.

I could be stressing for nothing.

Friday, July 9, 2004

Time well wasted.

Stolen from Iced Water. Yet another pointless list of questions, Enjoy!

There are TWO rules when answering these questions:
1) Only ONE answer to each. Of course its tough - thats the point!

2) Each blog/blogger may only be used ONCE (gonna break this one....can't be helped.)

What blogger inspired you to FINALLY start a blog?

Brian from Life in New York City, although he doesn't blog anymore. But he does have a cool photoblog.

What blog do you visit the most often everday?
My 2 Second Shelf Life

What blogger do you think you have the most in common with?
That would be Natalie, I think we have a lot of the same attitudes.

Which blog can you be sure will make you pee a little you laugh so hard?
Radmilla's. Her mother cracks me up.

Which blogger leaves you the best/funniest comments?
Comments? That would have to be Boz.

Which blog do you wish more people would read?
Uh, mine? Is this a trick question?

Which blog do you learn the most from?
Learn? We are supposed to be learning? HMMMMM?

What blog is your newest addition?
Constant Digression

Who has been on your blogroll the longest?
That would be Brian.

Whose blogroll would you LOVE find yourself on?
Time out!

Ok, guess I am halfway through this little list and I find my attention to it wanning. There are always questions on these lists that you either have no answer for or you are just not interested in answering. Not that they are stupid questions but I rarely find myself wishing I was someone else, or could do this or that like someone else, or "OOO I wish someone liked me enough to link me", not happening. So, some of these will be answered and some not. Deal with it.

Whose bloglinker list were you the happiest to find yourself on?
The very first one, can't remember who it was but the first time you are linked it is a little thrilling. Oh and Iced Water. ;-)

If you could write like any blogger, who would it be?

What blogger are you the happiest you've "met?"
Never met any face to face.

Which blog do you recommend the most? Radmilla, did I mention her mother cracks me up?

Who is the next person you'll add to your bloglinker list?

Who is the blogger you hope to meet in "real" life?

Which blogger do you admire?

That would have to be Darling Nikki 6 kids and still has a full head of hair.

Who would you trust with your blog while you were away?
Trust no one!

Which blog has your favorite design?
That would be Emily at I don't think.

How many blogs are on your blogroll(s)
This is embarassing....252.

Thursday, July 8, 2004

I had a dream.

Last night I had the craziest dream. I dream in color by the way, I am told that is not all that common.

Anyway, the dream. In my dream I was in a theater, but the theater was marked off in stalls, not cubes, stalls, but I was at work. Each stall had a shower and a toilet, every time I tried to take a shower or use the toilet the phone would ring and some asshole would walk into my stall to tell me what a crappy day he was having. It was endless.

I finally cracked and beat the 'caller' to death with my plunger. Propped the body up against the stall door and took a piss then a shower. My team manager (who was Richard Gere, nice) called me into his stall to discuss what we should do with the body. I said, "Who cares." and he stuck his tongue down my throat.

All in all, a pretty damn good dream. Any armchair psychologists want to wrap your brain around that one? Feel free.

All I can say is, I woke up refreshed.

Ok, this time I really mean it.

I said I wasn't going to fuck with the resume, but I totally forgot about doing the company website at my last job.

So here I sit, at 3am, fighting with Word (I am sorry but I hate that fucking product) so I can add a couple lines without fucking the whole thing up.

Did I mention I hate the shit out of Word. I much prefer, Publisher. Which is still a MS product so I may not be shot for it in the parking lot.

Ok, really done now.

Wednesday, July 7, 2004

Stick a fork in me.

I screwed around with my resume for 2 days, as of this moment I am done. I refuse to fuck with it any longer. Thanks so much Shelley for your help. Nice to have an expert on board.

Although I doubt it's going to make a bit of difference. Judging from some of the people that got TM's in this god forsaken place, there is no predicting what the power's that be are looking for. A couple of them (as far as I can tell) got TM cuz they were pretty.

If that is the case, I am totally screwed. I am officially this second putting it out of my mind. The stupid thing is set in stone as far as I am concerned.

If they don't like it this time, I give up.

I am not feeling the love.

I have been sitting in front of this computer all day. Obsessing over this stupid resume. Is there too much bullshit in it? Is there not enough bullshit? What is just the right amount of bullshit? If there are any resume guru's out there, I would love to get some feedback. But you are probably all asleep. Damn.

I need my TM and he is still not back. I also want to know who else is applying. I need to stop fucking with this stupid resume. It is making my eyes cross. Why can't I just tell them I could do the job with my eyes closed and one hand tied behind my back and be done with it.

I am too long in the tooth for all this bullshit. Not to mention the asskissing, I just don't have the bone structure for it anymore.

Tuesday, July 6, 2004


(Originally July 2, 2004)

This post will have to be draft for now, since I am not supposed to know this or let anyone else know I know it. Which for me is excruciatingly painful.

It's a long post so brace yourselves.

Last night my TM, G, is over talking to a bunch of us and we are discussing phone stats. Everyone is always worried about their stats. I just looked at him and said,

"You know they are bullshit right? They set the stats, and it seems like they do everything they can to make sure you can't hit them." For instance, they don't want you to use hold too much, but then they want you to warm transfer customers, which if you have ever tried to contact DELL, is a long drawn out process.

"Why are you all sweating those stats, you are never going to hit them, your just stressing yourself out needlessly." Like the pay for performance bullshit they shoveled out to us. Hit these customer satisfaction metrics 3 months in a row and we get a bonus. "If we get paid, I will eat Jackie's hat."

Jackie, "Hey! I like this hat!"

"Oh please, your hat is in no danger of being eaten."

He leans over and signs me off my phone. "Come with me." Great.


"It's nothing bad."

We go into the huddle room, "You didn't hear this from me." I love it when they say that. "No one is supposed to know this, but they are going to hire another TM for pro and Senior lead reps, you need to apply."

"I tried that before, and I didn't even get a letter of rejection."

"Did you go for resume feedback?"

"No, another thing I think is bullshit." If you are familiar at all with the new corporate earth, you know that all they are looking for now in resumes now is how much you can bullshit, well I am not good at bullshit. In my day, you couldn't just say you could do something, you had to back it up. Not so today, you lie like a rug and if you get the job, bullshit your way past the stuff you don't know. It's bullshit.

We talked about the last hire of TM's and I told him I got a hold of a couple of resumes from the ones who got the job, because a couple of them were really bothering me, and sure enough one guy flat out lied about places he had worked and his qualifications. "What is the use? It's not what you know, its how much you are willing to lie about what you know."

"Send me your resume and I will get H (another TM) to help beef your resume up." apparently H, took a bunch of 'bullshit on your resume' courses.

"I feel like you are at the point where if you don't move on, you are going to move out, and I don't' want to see that happen. You are at the same point I was when I applied for TM. I know the feeling and I want to help you. I don't want to see you quit."

We are leaving the huddle room, "I am going to poke myself in the eye and come out saying "Ok, just don't hit me again!" sound like fun?"

"You wouldn't dare!" If I thought I could keep a straight face I would.

So, my TM thinks I would make a good TM. You know what? That is better than any phone stats. So whether I get TM or SLR, the pay is better and the bullshit is less. Well maybe not less, but I would be the one dishing it out instead of taking it.


They finally posted the position. The posting is open from July 6-8.

WTF? I am off the 6th and 7th. How the hell am I going to get my resume all bullshitted up in two days. My TM, G, doesn't come back from his little vacation till tomorrow.

I swear they look at my schedule and work around it and not in a good way. Every time they have a pizza day, or a natcho day, its always on my day off. I am starting to get a complex.

I will let you know how this round of bullshit resume submitting goes.

It is what you think!

My last call of a gruelling Monday in the PPA. I was really having a bad one. I was so pissed at the support professionals, that at the end of it I was just saying, "Whatever, just transfer them to me and I will take care of it." I was just so tired of arguing with them about doing their own job. And there was only a 10% chance that they could work the phone enough to actually perform the transfer so it worked out for me. Anyway, this is the last call I took last night.

"Thank you for calling the Undisclosed Customer Service Center? my name is blah blah blah..."

"I am getting something really weird, there is this little box in the middle of my screen that says ACTIVE WINDOW and inside that it says WINDOWS TEXT. No matter what settings I change its still there, and I don't want it there."

I wasn't catching on right away with what he was saying, "You mean on your desktop you have this box, is it an error message? Have you tried just X'ing it out?"

He is speaking to me in a tone of voice that would suggest that he is trying to solve a crime, sort of Sherlock Holmes'ish. Wish I could describe it better, but he was dead fucking serious.

"No, that's the thing, it isn't really on my desktop, but it shows a picture of my desktop in the background."

NO FUCKING WAY. "Can you read to me everything else that surrounds that little box?" I turn to my co-workers with a look on my face that says, you are not going to believe this one.

"Yes, its very strange, and its freaking me out. There is an ok and a cancel button, and in one box it says Windows Theme, then there is ..."

"Hold it Mark, are you in the Display Properties?"

"YES! That is where I found this, and no matter what I change it always has that little box in the center that says ACTIVE WINDOW and Window Text. It is really freaking me out."

I put my head down on my desk. This can't be happening to me. First I have to explain this to a person who A: believes that this is something that is not right with his computer, and B: thought it was worth investigating and calling me.

How do I do this without making this person feel like a complete idiot. "Ok, Mark, I see where you are now." OK poor choice of words.

"You can see my screen?!"

"No, I mean I realize what it is you are looking at. The display properties window is where you can customize the look of your computer. The screen you are describing is where you would change the themes, if you notice, where it says Windows XP(Modified) you can change the different themes, but inside that box you will see Active Windows and window text. That is a sample of how the fonts will show in the Active window and how the fonts will appear inside that window. It is just a sample so you can see how it will look before you apply it. It does not mean that there will be a window superimposed on your desktop that looks like that."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure."

"OK, so if I hit apply this box is not going to appear on my desktop? I am getting this straight from the horses mouth? Cuz this is really freaking me out."

"I swear to God, Mark, it is just there to show you how with each theme the active window and windows text might appear different, depending on the settings."

I swear sometimes I am on Candid Camera. Of course they couldn't do it on Candid camera, cuz this shit really does happen.