Sunday, December 31, 2006

6 Weird Things About Me-Me.

Taken from Radmila.

1. I have unusually high self-esteem with absolutely nothing to back it up.

2. I am not a cat person, but I have two.

3. I dream in color. And I can dictate what dream I am going to have and continue it if I wake up in the middle. I can also wake myself from a dead sleep, if I don't like where it is going.

4. I never get bad breath. No matter how long I go without brushing my teeth.

5. I never get totally sick. When I get a cold, I get one symptom a day, one symptom at a time. So I am never sick enough to stay in bed, just enough to make me miserable for a week.

6. When I drive by myself, I keep a running commentary on the stupidity of others on the road. Out loud. I never shut up, its like talk radio. And sorry, I hardly ever remember any of it to blog later. But trust me, I crack myself up sometimes.

I won't tag anyone either. Same deal, you can do it in the comments or put a link in there and let me know where you posted.

I won't tag the boy either, he would have a hard time keeping his list of weirdness down to six.

Saturday, December 30, 2006

You are here...12-30.06

-godfather christmas movie
-it nearly wasnt christmas movie
-wings xmas 1977

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Blast from the past.

When I was out shopping for the boys stocking I came across a huge display of gum. When I first saw it I thought 'Oh my God, I used to love these!'

Then it struck me. Why? Yes, it really does taste like soap.

Anyway, just now, the boy asks me if I want a gum. "Sure." Then he snickers. I pop it into my mouth and start to chew, yup, just how I remember it.

He looks at me, "You like that?"

"Uh huh."

"But it tastes awful. "

"Ya, says 'still tastes like soap' right on the package."

He looks at it, he thought it was joke gum. "And you like it?"

"Ya, used to eat it all the time when I was a kid."


"No earthly idea."

Monday, December 25, 2006

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Christmas Cheer.

Driving out to visit my sister the other day, I am enjoying the lights and decorations displayed by the various home owners. It is about a 15 minute drive so there is quite a bit to see.

Everything was going relatively well till I came across this one house. I see a lawn filled with decorations. Among them were these 'things', I don't know if you have seen them where you live. But they are called Shy Kids. Dolls dressed up like little kids, hiding there faces. They are just fuckin' creepy.

So, I had to rush right home and cram some real Christmas cheer into me.

And believe me, it is really hard to get into the Christmas spirit, when it is 7 degrees outside.(Again, that's Celsius, so it's about 45 degrees for you yanks out there.)This is the view from my deck.

Some Christmas video to get us in the spirit or, at the very least, erase that creepy feeling.

Let this be a warning.

See even these two can get along.

I missed this guy.

Anyway, hope this post finds everyone having a Merry Christmas.

Ya, I said 'Merry Christmas'. If it offends you, go take a flying fuck somewhere.

Oh, and Happy Hanukkah.

You are here... 12-24-06

Well, I warned you it would be pretty boring, but here it is.

Dec. 18 & 19
50.00%   home for christmas movie 1949
16.67%   getting the movie a christmas carol for free
8.33%    home for christmas,1949 movie
8.33%    wing night
8.33%    home for christmas, 1949 movie
8.33%    i am left brained

Dec. 20 & 21
16.67%   you know your from nova scotia when! joke
16.67%   a list of christmas movies from the 70's
16.67%    when is a very brady christmas vacation on television
16.67%    movie entitled the holly and the ivy
16.67%    ebbie on tv?
16.67%    nova scotia surfing

Dec. 23 & 24
25.00%   nova scotia surfing
25.00%   a picture of a stoned santa clause
25.00%   when is a very brady christmas vacation on television
25.00%   bad santa holly and the ivy christmas toy

I am not sure what the Nova Scotia surfing thing is. We only have really big waves when it is too dangerous to surf, like during a hurricane. But whatever, idiot, if that's what you are into, give 'er.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.

Just got back from another stint with the John Howard Society.

Before the cop arrived, I conveyed to the JH lady that the Boy was ready to take full responsibility for what he had done but that I was completely offended by being there at all. I wanted to know if she had the notes from the police, that I wanted to see them. I wanted to know what justification they had for sending us through this process again.

"I am just curious as to why we eliminated the middle man this time. I mean, the police didn't even try and contact me to say they were charging the Boy. It just went straight to you people." I find a strategically placed 'you people' helps to convey your opinion in as few words as possible. The mood was set.

That is when she rifled through the file and saw the notes from when I called up after I got this last letter from them. It was a long note, word for word.

And then the cop showed up.

I had to ask what made him pick the boy up. (The boy of course was shooting daggers at me.) I told him I was getting pretty tired of this, that all they were teaching my son was to lie. I made it clear that the boy was completely ready to take responsibility for what he did, but I had a real problem with being there at all.

I wanted to know if they legitimately picked him up because he was drunk (they couldn't say that, cuz he wasn't, I was there.) or was he picked up because he was with the wrong people? I told him that I was aware that the other kid was picked up before and just taken home, why wasn't the boy given the same consideration?

He gave me some bullshit about it being a crackdown, that the kids were starting to get out of control in the town and that night they were not letting anyone go, they arrested 25 different kids. I was about to say, so what? You were just trying to get the numbers?

"I am just concerned with the logistics of it all. The boy was never charged formally, nor was a statement taken, no one at the police station contacted me before I got the letter from (I turn to her) you. I find that curious."

This is when the 'lady' from John Howard lost her mind. She leans forward to look past me and addresses the boy. "Just a minute, Boy, I thought you were prepared to take responsibility for this..."

I am clearly losing patience. I had to stop her, "I guess you were not paying attention, but the first thing I said was that the Boy was fully prepared to take responsibility for this, and that it was me that had the problem with this whole process."

I guess I should mention that, along with the JH 'lady', there was a new guy. He was clearly trying to justify his existence, so he asked the Boy to tell his story.

The Boy proceeds to tell the story, adding that he drank 4 or 5 beer. I just looked at him, I knew it was a lie, but I let it go.

The Boy is a genius, because as soon as it was out of his mouth, the 'lady' said, "I think that is more believable than your first story of just one beer." The 'lady' was all over that. Since that meant the cop wasn't just phoning it in and they were completely justified in bringing this action.

Again, the boy is learning the art of a good lie. This is what the John Howard Society teaches him. Oh, they say they want the truth, but that is not true, they want you to agree with what they already believe, or (they say, although no one can confirm this, since no one has ever refused them before) you go to court. I could tell, this cop did not like where this was going, he did not want to end up in court.

Then they move on to what punishment the Boy thinks he should have. Of course the Boy says, "I don't know." The 'lady' and the newbie both speak at once. They figure community service would be a good choice. The cop takes one look at my face, I lean forward in my chair, I am about to speak when the cop jumps in.

"I think that an essay would be sufficient." I lean back. He winks at me. I am fuming. The newbie suggests 3 pages, hand written. The cop looks at me, I roll my eyes, he stands up. He is pointing to the 'legal' pad the newbie is writing in. "Now when you say 3 pages, that's double spaced, right? And the paper would be half that size? I think one page would be better, don't you think?" He is asking them, but he is looking at me.

By the end of it, it was one page, typed. I could live with that, he winks at me again. I am not impressed. At that point, the cop gives us the bum's rush. He wants me out of there before I lose my mind and demand my day in court.

On the way out, I look at the Boy, "Why did you tell them you drank 4 beer?"

"You heard her. She wouldn't have believed one."
And he was right.

I am still writing a letter to my MP. Their shit needs to be looked into. Someone is definitely cooking the books at the John Howard Society.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

You can do it.

Sometimes I feel it is my duty to spread cheer and help all the other domestically challenged people out there.

I found this recipe for fudge. Yes, I said fudge, don't cringe.

2c        Brown Sugar
2/3c    canned milk (not sweetened)
2/3c    butter (NOT margarine, it will not work with margarine, break out the good stuff)

Combine in a glass bowl (plastic will make it taste funny and it won't form right) and microwave for 9 minutes, stirring every 3 minutes. (that's 3 minutes, stir, 3 minutes, stir, 3 minutes, stir)

At the end of the 9 minutes, you just mix in 2 cups of icing sugar.

This is where you can add nuts if you want, I have tried it with walnuts before it is very tasty.

This shit will melt in your mouth. I defy you to fuck this up. It just isn't possible.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Hello? Is this thing on?

Radmilla has the Sunday Click Around.

Me? I am pretty boring and no one reads this enough to care what the hell I am surfing. But I thought I would revise my You Are Here postings. I had to abandon the idea because, well, no one came here so the pickin's were getting mighty slim. I did notice, however, that there are a lot more people reading this thing recently but none of them are commenting. A girl could get a complex. You could say 'hey', would it kill ya?

I always thought it was interesting how some people ended up on your site, so every Sunday I will post the search engine results.

"Holy Shit! Evel, you are so brilliant! How do you function in a society that is so completely not as interesting as you? This has, like, never been done before!

Ok, cut the sarcasm, I know it's boring, but its all I got, so deal with it.

So, without further ado...I give you...


Dec 17 if you have switched from heat to a/c in the same day
Dec 16 ernest saves christmas plot (there was a plot? I hope he isn't doing a film school paper}
Dec 16 it nearly wasn't christmas movie
Dec 15 the gathering xmas tv movie
Dec 15 when and how did they make the movie called the snowman 1982 (I think you already answered your first question)

That reminds me. On my post entitled live in Nova Scotia, I got the most interesting reaction from another Nova Scotian. He was totally offended by the whole thing. I don't think he realized that I was a Nova Scotian too. He was really bent out of shape. Dude, if you can't take a joke, you need to stay off the internet. You will make yourself ill. I wonder if it was he who found me from searching this way? Probably not.

Wing night 2006 - Review

Wing night went fine. Although, I think age is starting to creep up on us.

T showed up right after work so I thought we might pace ourselves this time. (Last year we gorged all at once and made ourselves sick) So I started a batch as soon as she got there. So basically we ate at 6 and then again at 9. We listened to Christmas music while I cooked and old 70's cartoons while we ate.

I got the tree in from outside and stood it up, but never got around to decorating it. (it still sits, bare, in the corner)

By 11 o'clock, we were fading. After spending the month downloading every Christmas movie I could think of, we ended up only watching a couple of cartoons and one movie, Scrooged.

We did manage to get caught up with each others lives. We don't get to see each other that often, but we make a point to do this 'wing night' every year. It was nice.

So, today I started the baking. The mice are done, the cherry balls are all made (they just need to be chocolate covered) and the shortbread dough is ready for rolling tomorrow.

The boy is going to the semi-formal so I had to go to Sears with my soon-to-be sister-in-law, Debbie, and get him something to wear. Then I came home and watched a couple Christmas movies while I put the mice together.

Still not feeling the whole Christmas spirit thing, but I tried. I think it is because there is no snow, it was around 8 degrees (celsius) here today.

I can't believe I am saying this, but I wish it would snow.

I will tell you all about the great NetGear fiasco of 2006 in the next post. It was quite the experience with a tech support woman named Sharon (not her real name, but after trying to pronounce it 6 times, we settled on Sharon) from 'across the pond'.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

How do you spell relief?


Day one in training. Day one of ten working days with no headset.

I was actually able to wear my hair down yesterday. Usually I have to tie it up since after about an hour you can tell where I work from the indent on my head.

I have to tell you that the new OS is very cool. They have really dumbed it down for people. However, they have built in some job security for all of us in the Undisclosed Technical Support Department™.

It's called 'features'.

As we were going though the gazillion (holy crap, that is an actual word) features in this version people were commenting that everything was so easy, and the OS was so self-healing. Then they started worrying about their jobs, "This is too easy, they won't need us."

Of course, I see the silver lining right away. "Dude, there is way too many features. How many of those crayons are going to remember where to find them, let alone use them."

"I see a lot of 'how-to' calls in my future."
Gotta love it.

I should mention that I am the only female in the class, although it did take me a couple of hours to notice. I was wondering why the class was out of control most of the time. The instructor had to stop and ask for order more than a dozen times. As I am looking around with a quizzical look on my face, the instructor notices and asks me if I have a question.

"No, I just realized why your having such a hard time keeping control."


"The testosterone level in this room is off the charts. This many men in one room? You can't be surprised they revert to being 12 year olds."

And it wasn't ten minutes later that I was proven right. The instructor lost control of the children once again and tried an old elementary school trick, "Joe! You want to come up here and teach this class?" He was just about to say 'then shut the fuck up' when Joe piped up and said, "Sure," and got out of his seat. "what page are we on?"

He totally shocked the instructor. The poor man did not know what to do, I could tell he was at a loss as he watched the little shit get up from his seat and make his way to the front of the class. I had had enough, I don't have time for this crap, so before the idiot could make it to the front, I piped up, "Excuse me, I don't know about anyone else but I would much rather learn this shit from a professional."

We did manage to get a few things done after that, however, total control was never achieved.

Hopefully he can move this shit along at a little faster pace, I am growing old over here!

Friday, December 8, 2006

It has been a long week.

And I have been sick for all of it.

Sick as a dog! I can't wait for this week to be over. I start training for the new operating system on Monday. Two weeks off the phones.

Two weeks of higher learning (snicker)before Christmas.

Can't wait. Did I say that already?

Saturday, December 2, 2006

I am in the wrong business.

Why do all 'patrons of the arts' speak the same way? Perhaps they think the mere overuse of multi syllable words will somehow make them sound more profound. If they give you time to think about the crap they just spewed you would realize that the sentence made no sense whatsoever.

Take this crayon, for instance. He's one of those 'new age' whack-jobs who puts a gum wrapper on the floor and calls it art.

And critics who don't want to seem like they don't 'get' it stand around sipping champagne and staring quizzically at a urinal stuck to the wall and say stuff like its
"a deliberately confrontational experiment with socio-political edge, a dramatic fusion of manifesto like poetical statements commenting on the divers aspects of discriminative tendencies in technological society"

What the hell does that mean? It means that your an idiot, its a fucking urinal. This moron couldn't come up with anything remotely artistic, so he stuck a urinal on the wall.

Actually, it appears that this 'artist' spends a lot of his time throwing his own blood on other peoples art. In protest. Of what? Who the hell knows, or cares.

This 'creation', by Thom Flanders, is described as graphite and gesso on paper. Hello? It pencil scribble. Now, while some of this guys stuff is decent (and I use the term loosely), you get the feeling that he just phoned this one in. This one is actually taking up space at the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art, I kid you not.

Um, Jo? Not to be a smart ass or anything, but did you forget something? Like, I don't know, paint?

Judging from this article, even the museums aren't sure anymore.

If your going to say your an artist, you better show me some skill. I was once presented with a picture from a famous art gallery. It was a picture of a huge pile of, what appeared to be, sweet-n-low packets. I wish I had a picture to show you, it is not to be believed.

Oh, but you mustn't stick your nose up. For what you cannot see is the one lonely cube of sugar buried deep within it. Profound!

Holy Crap! Who raised these retards?

Drugs in the workplace.

Your either for it or aggin' it! And I am for it.

I woke up today with a sore throat and a dry cough. Not really an option when you work on the phones. So, to the drugstore I go. Of course, I must have extra-strength. Come big, or don't come at all.

By the time I got to work I was thoroughly stoned. Head to toe body-stone. I couldn't even think straight. And, of course, all my cases were snowballs. Go to fix one problem find another, it was hard to keep everything straight. And when I had to call up to our 'Mensa' line for help I am sure they thought I was drunk.

I think they finally all got together and ambushed the floor coordinator to send me home early.

Thanks Guys. In customer service you would have to be bleeding from the jugular and even then you would have to beg for it.

It really is a different world 'over there'.