On Thanksgiving weekend, The Boy's girlfriend, Amber, walked out of the local bar, crossed the street and was never seen alive again. She was 19.
For a month we searched in hope only to have that hope crushed when her body was finally found.
On the day of her funeral, I woke up in a rage. I still feel that rage.
To this day, we don't know how or even when she died. The Boy...is broken.
There has not been an arrest.
This is all I can write at the moment. There are so many emotions but the rage overpowers. Not just for the unknown person that has done this to Amber, but for the spineless accusers and obsessive facebook trolls that invade our grief.
My drug of no choice? FaceCrack. I want to say it is long hours of sharing meaningful shit with real friends and keeping up to date with how my family is doing. But like a crack whore....I would be lying.
When I am not farming or blazing the pioneer trails, I am keeping up with what is going on in the vaping community. God forbid a mod should come out and I not be aware of it til the next day.
Them's fightin' words.
Since I last posted here a lot has gone on. I am doing a vaping show (again) only on another network. I think I finally found a co-host that won't try and have me killed. She is a pretty good mix of knowledge and humour. And most importantly, a thick skin.
Please do come and check us out if you care at all about what I am doing? Or if you are interested in getting off the cigarettes. It has been over a year and a half since I accidently quit smoking using electronic cigarettes. (Click on the show logo and it will take you there.)
I have to tell you that when I am not snorting facecrack, I am lurking on GPTV. Before becoming a host, I got more free shit from watching vaping shows than anything else. Its fun and informative. And they don't care what comes out of my mouth.
No matter how politically incorrect it is. I think I will stick around a while.
I could totally live without the television, or the phone for that matter. I can get everything I need from an internet connection.
But, if I so much as hint that it would be cost effective to get rid of the cable tv, The Sister looks at me like I just snapped the neck of a bunny or something.
I don't get it....its 150 channels of nothing'ness. Unless you are into sports or reality shows there are maybe a dozen shows on tv that are watchable.
The Sister, however, watches all of it. All reality shows, all the time. Every 'housewife' show (although not many of them are actually married, go figure). And she would never pass up a chance to watch someone compete for something, not sporting events but close to it, I guess. Iron Chef, Top Chef, So you think you can dance, hairdressers, designers, models... the list goes on ad nauseum. Did I forget to say yes to the dress? FFS
Just a little fiction, that is all I am asking for. I just don't get the appeal? I live in reality, I sure as fuck don't want to watch yours.
I just realized how many posts start 'I haven't been blogging in a while' and I feel ya...its starting to annoy me too.
So, how goes it in butt-fuck-nowhere Nova Scotia? It goes better now that I have my car back from The Boy. His piece-of-shit Focus has been out of commission for more than a year and it is finally drivable.
I know that we should have given up on that thing a long time ago but after you spend so much money...well you have to know when to quit, but we didn't. After a couple of grand, I wanted it fixed just on principle so I could 'drive' it off a fucking cliff. It was just one thing after another and in retrospect, we could have saved money if we had just replaced the motor. Oh well...what's done is done.
I am mobile now, even though I really don't go anywhere and now that I am not smoking I actually have money to spend. A couple of times I actually forgot it was payday. You don't realize how much money you spend on cancer sticks til you quit. I actually have money left over at the end of the month instead of the other way around.
If you are thinking at all about quitting smoking, think about it. Or email me...I will hook ya up.
Haven't been doing a lot of blogging lately. Well not here anyway. One of the reasons is the vaping thing...I couldn't just vape. Oh no. I had to create a blog for vaping, a youtube channel, two facebook pages and, of course, get my mug on camera and do an interactive web show on vaping.
The other reason is this f'ing laptop. I hate typing on it...I have man hands and long fingernails, I am doomed.
I was planning on keeping the two blogs separate...but vaping is what I do now and after a year, it is defining me. I never realized how much smoking defined me until I accidentally quit smoking when I picked up the electronic cigarette. I could never do anything without thinking about, can I smoke there or where is the smoking area and how long would it take me to get out to the smoking area. And on and on.
Now I don't care....I vape everywhere. I am starting to calm down a little now about it. But when I first found these things, I was in evangelical mode. I wanted to convert the masses. I even sold the kits for a while. Now, as I said, I am starting to calm down and get on with the day to day.
What I like about Mother's Day is that, for me, its not a big deal. The Boy lets me know every day that he loves me and appreciates everything I have done for him. I am so proud of him sometimes that I could bust.
Have you heard? Prince William is getting married.
I don't know about you, but I could give a sweet fuck. However, apparently because I am Canadian, the press seems to think I am consumed with a passion to know every single detail of the upcoming nuptials.
I can't get away from it. Wonder what dress she is going to wear, what hat, what shoes. What will she eat for breakfast that morning. It has been going on all month and you can tell now that they are running out of things to speculate about.
I fully expect to turn on the TV today to an investigative report on the possible insects that could irritate the future princess.
We had some technical difficulties and the manycam was not working so Buffy didn't make the recording, only audio, but it turned out all right I guess.
I was entertained and that is the main thing...after all, it IS all about me. LOL
So, last post I told you about the show I was doing on ElixirTV...I am still doing that, but with another co-host. Cindy was nice, but too nice. I think I need someone with a thicker skin. When she was having fun, I wasn't and vice-versa. So, we parted ways and now I am going to do a new show (same time) with Buffy. She is a fellow Canuck and I met her through her boyfriend who I work with. So, she knew better what she was getting into, not like Cindy.
The new show is "It's EvelHawt...eh?" (her nick is HawtAngel) should be fun.
I did sorta feel bad for Cindy, she really had no idea what she was getting into, but then again some might say she was just not paying attention. Had she visited this blog at any point she may have deduced that I was not the warm and fuzzy type. I pretty much say whatever the fuck comes into my head at any given time. I stew over nothing. My philosophy is...If you piss me off and I say nothing...then that is totally on me. However, when (not if)I tell you that you are pissing me off and continue, then we really have a problem. So, if at any point in time you are unsure if I am pissed off at you? Don't be. (well...unless you are The Sister..but that's another story)
Anyway, today I am finally outside in our new gazebo, enjoying the first really nice day of spring. Long story short...I was sure God hated me. I bought this nice gazebo so I could sit outside without the bugs. (I am NOT a bug person) Seemed like as soon as we got the stupid thing off the truck it snowed. After about a week, we finally got it setup and since then it has snowed twice more and when it was not snowing, it was raining.....sideways.
I may have slept though half of this beautiful day had it not been for my brother showing up at an ungodly hour this morning...but since it is such a beautiful day, he can live.
So...my plan was to update (chronologically) what happened while I was not blogging over the last year.
That is not working out.
On to Plan B. I guess I will just go back to blogging as the spirit moves me and you will just have to deal with flashbacks and forwards.
Newest thing happening with me? A few months ago I started doing a vaping show with another girl called The Evel as Cin show on ElixirTV. (the other girls name is Cindy...get it?) Anyway, ever since I started vaping over a year ago, I have been all about the vaping. Found this webcast channel sponsored by a vaping vendor (great place to gather info, face to face as it were) and eventually we got our own show.
Check us out on Sunday nights 10pm EST. ElixirTV has shows 7 nights a week (and a lot of daytime activity as well) so there is always someone there to answer any questions you might have about electronic cigarettes and vaping in general. Not to mention all the free stuff they give away. Kits and juice and mods.
I heard something the other day that stuck with me...it was an article in a newspaper about vaping. The woman said she accidently quit smoking with an electronic cigarette.
I get that! I totally accidently quit smoking. I remember when the doctor put that non-smoker sticker on my medical file, I was totally shocked.
So, if you are a smoker, you should try it. You could accidently quit smoking too.
How did I end up here? Living in butt-fuck-nowhere in a trailer with my sister?
Many planets aligned to make this happen. I was living alone, happily (despite my rednecked neighbors)in a two bedroom apartment in our little town. My sister was living not so happily alone in a trailer in butt-fuck-nowhere and working away on a ridiculously well paying job in another province. The Boy was living with his father and enjoying making his father and step monster miserable with his mere presence in their home.
All was right with the world.
The Boy is still living with his father and experiencing the joy of living there only because it makes them miserable. Not really a tough job since everything seems to make TBF and the step monster miserable. They have refined it to an art. However, The Sister and I became another story.
First The Sister's job came to an end and her unemployment insurance was soon to follow. She asked me a couple of times if I would consider moving in with her. She owned her own home, so there would be no rent and two incomes would be better than one. Sounded good, but I was enjoying living alone for the first time in forever. I had already converted (somewhat) the boys room into an exercise room. I had my home the way I liked it I was livin' (in my opinion) the dream.
The second set of rednecks (brother of the first) that lived below me were preparing to move and I was told by the landlord that(for the new tenant) he would be fishing from a different gene pool. That being said, I was very surprised to find the younger brother of the previous two tenants moving in one day. Give me strength!
Let me give you just a brief rundown of the first two. Sister redneck was the first. She and her 'husband' had triplets and stole the bed I had in stored in the barn and used it for two years. I thought someone stole it from the barn but when they moved out, thankfully, they left it behind.
The next to move in was the brother. He had two children and as many derelict cars in the driveway. None of his friends could grasp the concept of not blocking me in the three car wide driveway. No matter when they arrived, day or night when given the option of who to park behind, it was always me. Fuckin' maddening. Also when given the option of where on the property to set up their fireworks display they inveritably chose six inches from the front bumper of my car. (no matter where it was parked)
This is just a drop in the bucket as to what I had to deal with. I could go on but I won't. So you may understand why my heart sank when I saw the third installment moving in. But hey, I thought, this may not be as bad as I think.
Wrong. This is turning into a long drawn out post but it has to be said. First problem...they had a dog. A puppy, really. Keep in mind that I work from home. As far as I could tell, neither of the two people that moved in seemed to have a job so I wasn't concerned about the dog to start with. However, the first time they left it at home alone, he lost his mind.
I mention that this is unacceptable and that he can't leave the dog inside alone because I work from home and can't work with the dog howling. His solution? Leave him outside...alone. Guess what? He still howled. So I head down to leave a note on his door that his solution does not work when the little shit comes in the drive. "Dude, you can't leave the dog tied up."
He tries to ignore me. "You said I can't keep him inside so I put him out." and starts to get back in the car.
"In or out, he howls."
"Well I can't take him with me everywhere."
"Then I guess you can't have a dog then."
"Yes I can."
"Actually, no you can't. You can't have a dog in city limits if it disturbs the fucking peace and it is disturbing my fucking peace."
"Whatever." and he gets into the car and drives away.
THAT IS FUCKIN' IT! This was not a one day thing, and I had experience with this particular gene pool before so I knew how this was not going to be an easy road.
I called my sister, "You still want to live together?"
"Are you sure?"
"Question is, are you sure. I know I can deal with you, but you need to be sure you can deal with me."
"I can deal, but I don't think you mean it."
"As soon as we hang up, I am ordering a dumpster."
And that was it. Decision made, I phoned the landlord and gave notice.
So, its been a while since I have blogged and a lot has gone on.
The main reason that I haven't been posting is because in August of last year I moved in with The Sister. As you can imagine since i work from home, and The Sister is not currently working, we are together pretty much 24/7.
Herein lies the dilemma. Poking fun at The Sister's insanity is fine when it happens, perhaps once or twice a year but now that we live together, I have to think before I blog.
Previous to us 'shacking up together', I would see her perhaps once a month and she didn't always say or do anything that would merit ridicule. When she did do something that struck me as funny and blog worthy I would not hesitate to blog it. She would then either be amused or slightly less than amused but she would eventually get over it.
During our first months together, I decided that it was not worth the grief or drama to poke fun at her obvious dementia for the amusement of (quite possibly) five or six readers that I have never met. And of course I didn't have to sit across from her at the dinner table every night while she was 'getting over it'.
Okay, so five or six might be stretching it, but you get the idea. Any whoo...today as we were driving home I said something that cracked her up and she said to me. "You should write that on your blog."
After I explained the reason I was not blogging, she gave me her blessing.(I know...I told you she was insane.)
So, from this day forward I will not sensor myself as far as the blog goes. She has promised not to get her panties in a bunch and because of the aforementioned dementia I figure she will forget it as soon as she reads it anyway. You don't know what I am talking about but in the weeks to come...all will be revealed.
