Remember me.

It's a crazy thing when people die, everyone says such nice things about them. Even the really big loser/asshole/psychopath/pedophiles of this world. I keep thinking, did this person, spouting poetry about the dearly departed, ever actually MEET them? Or did they just forget how much of a maggot the person was?

All of a sudden they go at it like its a real estate or personal ad.

"He was a quiet sensitive soul" DUDE! He was a pedophile. And if you believe in God, no he is not looking 'down' on us all he is most definitely peering up our skirts.

"She was such a sharing person." Maybe over sharing...she told people at the bar that her kids were dead when, in fact, she had just left them home alone. I am sure she got more than a few free drinks out of that.

"He was a pillar of the community." Maybe of the Arian Brotherhood Community.

"She put her heart and soul into everything she did." OMG....look up 'sociopath' in the dictionary...you will find her picture. She had the attributes of a cult leader. She manipulated 3 people into offing themselves just so she could host the candle light vigils and gofundme campaigns to help with funeral expenses.

I am sure everyone knows that one person that, upon their death, would be like me. Attending the wake armed with a hat pin so I can drive it into their temple (on the guise of kissing them goodbye) to make damned sure they are actually dead from one of the many terminal illnesses they NEVER had.

For the love of all things holy. When I die, please do not forget that I could be a complete asshole at times and I probably won't get wings on the first day. Me and Clarence will be fighting for the record.