Where to begin?

How did I end up here? Living in butt-fuck-nowhere in a trailer with my sister?

Many planets aligned to make this happen. I was living alone, happily (despite my rednecked neighbors)in a two bedroom apartment in our little town. My sister was living not so happily alone in a trailer in butt-fuck-nowhere and working away on a ridiculously well paying job in another province. The Boy was living with his father and enjoying making his father and step monster miserable with his mere presence in their home.

All was right with the world.

The Boy is still living with his father and experiencing the joy of living there only because it makes them miserable. Not really a tough job since everything seems to make TBF and the step monster miserable. They have refined it to an art. However, The Sister and I became another story.

First The Sister's job came to an end and her unemployment insurance was soon to follow. She asked me a couple of times if I would consider moving in with her. She owned her own home, so there would be no rent and two incomes would be better than one. Sounded good, but I was enjoying living alone for the first time in forever. I had already converted (somewhat) the boys room into an exercise room. I had my home the way I liked it I was livin' (in my opinion) the dream.

The second set of rednecks (brother of the first) that lived below me were preparing to move and I was told by the landlord that(for the new tenant) he would be fishing from a different gene pool. That being said, I was very surprised to find the younger brother of the previous two tenants moving in one day. Give me strength!

Let me give you just a brief rundown of the first two. Sister redneck was the first. She and her 'husband' had triplets and stole the bed I had in stored in the barn and used it for two years. I thought someone stole it from the barn but when they moved out, thankfully, they left it behind.

The next to move in was the brother. He had two children and as many derelict cars in the driveway. None of his friends could grasp the concept of not blocking me in the three car wide driveway. No matter when they arrived, day or night when given the option of who to park behind, it was always me. Fuckin' maddening. Also when given the option of where on the property to set up their fireworks display they inveritably chose six inches from the front bumper of my car. (no matter where it was parked)

This is just a drop in the bucket as to what I had to deal with. I could go on but I won't. So you may understand why my heart sank when I saw the third installment moving in. But hey, I thought, this may not be as bad as I think.

Wrong. This is turning into a long drawn out post but it has to be said. First problem...they had a dog. A puppy, really. Keep in mind that I work from home. As far as I could tell, neither of the two people that moved in seemed to have a job so I wasn't concerned about the dog to start with. However, the first time they left it at home alone, he lost his mind.



I mention that this is unacceptable and that he can't leave the dog inside alone because I work from home and can't work with the dog howling. His solution? Leave him outside...alone. Guess what? He still howled. So I head down to leave a note on his door that his solution does not work when the little shit comes in the drive. "Dude, you can't leave the dog tied up."

He tries to ignore me. "You said I can't keep him inside so I put him out." and starts to get back in the car.

"In or out, he howls."

"Well I can't take him with me everywhere."

"Then I guess you can't have a dog then."

"Yes I can."

"Actually, no you can't. You can't have a dog in city limits if it disturbs the fucking peace and it is disturbing my fucking peace."

"Whatever." and he gets into the car and drives away.

THAT IS FUCKIN' IT! This was not a one day thing, and I had experience with this particular gene pool before so I knew how this was not going to be an easy road.

I called my sister, "You still want to live together?"

"Are you sure?"

"Question is, are you sure. I know I can deal with you, but you need to be sure you can deal with me."

"I can deal, but I don't think you mean it."

"As soon as we hang up, I am ordering a dumpster."

And that was it. Decision made, I phoned the landlord and gave notice.

We seem to be back...for now.

So, its been a while since I have blogged and a lot has gone on.

The main reason that I haven't been posting is because in August of last year I moved in with The Sister. As you can imagine since i work from home, and The Sister is not currently working, we are together pretty much 24/7.

Herein lies the dilemma. Poking fun at The Sister's insanity is fine when it happens, perhaps once or twice a year but now that we live together, I have to think before I blog.

Previous to us 'shacking up together', I would see her perhaps once a month and she didn't always say or do anything that would merit ridicule. When she did do something that struck me as funny and blog worthy I would not hesitate to blog it. She would then either be amused or slightly less than amused but she would eventually get over it.

During our first months together, I decided that it was not worth the grief or drama to poke fun at her obvious dementia for the amusement of (quite possibly) five or six readers that I have never met. And of course I didn't have to sit across from her at the dinner table every night while she was 'getting over it'.

Okay, so five or six might be stretching it, but you get the idea. Any whoo...today as we were driving home I said something that cracked her up and she said to me. "You should write that on your blog."

After I explained the reason I was not blogging, she gave me her blessing.(I know...I told you she was insane.)

So, from this day forward I will not sensor myself as far as the blog goes. She has promised not to get her panties in a bunch and because of the aforementioned dementia I figure she will forget it as soon as she reads it anyway. You don't know what I am talking about but in the weeks to come...all will be revealed.

Stay tuned!

7 Months Today!

Road Trip

Three old girls on a road trip to Anitgonish. Shopping.



We made it to two (count 'em) two whole stores, with a lunch break in between.

Ya gotta love a Dollarama.


Planning a family? You need to track your ovulation.


Now to see if the rabbit died or not.


Nothing says I love you like a fancy sit down dinner with some Dollar Store escargo.

I feel so ... trailer trash.

Un fuckin' believable.

Are people really this retarded?

This asshole is selling Miracle Spring Water and Debt Cancellation Kit.

God wants you to be debt free!

How stupid do you have to be?

It's Official

Went to see two of my doctors today. My regular GP and the heart specialist.

Kinda pissed I even have to bother with the HS, since I could’nt even get in to see him til long after my heart issues we not issues.

I was (covertly at first) vaping in the GP’s waiting room. When no-one said anything, I got bolder and took a long hard haul on it. Finally one of the old girls gave me the stink-eye. Once I told her it was not a cigarette, she was all a hundred questions. I gave her my card so her husband could call me. She though that since he is a 50 year smoker it probably wouldn’t work for him. That was until I told her I had been a smoker for 35 years.

(Any Whoo)

I wish I had had my camera ready for when I took the first drag to show my doctors how it worked. When I let out that huge plume of smoke…it was priceless.

My GP (who knows me best) was really behind me on this. She thinks its great, and my blood pressure was 120/87. That is as close to perfect as I have ever been in my life. I got a round of applause from her. “Just looking at you, I can tell you feel better. Cuz you look better.”

The HP is totally taking credit for me quitting smoking, “So would you say it is because of our discussion that you quit?”

What? Does he get a kickback or something? I say (with sarcasm), “Oh ya, it was all you dude.” …wait three beats…“Oh, and this.” And I whip out the e-cig. LOL, men.

Both my doctors were impressed, although the HP is a nazi and questioned me on when I was going to stop vaping as well. Fuck off, one vise at a time please. Lets get the fat chick dealt with before you have me running track.

So I am getting up to leave the HP and he is routing around in his desk and comes up with a sticker and puts it on my file. “What is that?”

“Oh, it just identifies you as a non-smoker.”

"FUCK ....OFF!" He is startled.

“Wow…I haven’t been that since I was eleven. “

"Did you want one?" and he hands me a sticker for my e-cig case.



So, now I want to see you VIP’ing. Send me a pic.

I have seriously done it now.

I woke up this morning and started the shower,did my 'business' and jumped in. (I know, TMI, but it is relevant to the story)

I get out of the shower, dry off and flush the toilet. (see? makes sense) As the toilet is flushing I reach above it to get the deodorant off the shelf and promptly drop it. Into the flushing toilet.

HOLY SHIT! There was literally no time to try and grab it before it went down with the rest of the water. FUCK!

Okay, so now I have flushed it. But have I? Did it go down? I flush again...asked and answered. It must be stuck in the trap, the water is rising dangerously close to the top of the bowl. How the fuck can I stop the water now? I tear the top of the tank off and grab the float.

Water stopped...for now, but I clearly can't stand here all day. I am trying to figure out what to do next when I see the water slowly receding. Thank God for small blessings. I have to reach behind the tank and shut the water off.

I couldn't deal with it then and there because I had to take off and go visit my mother. (It is mothers' day after all)So I call my landlord from the road. He will go have a look

Good news bad news. Good news, he is going to replace the toilet, it was old and a water hog anyway. Bad news, it won't be til tomorrow.

To top it all off, I seem to have forgotten to get my Depo-Provera shot. And what reminded me, you might ask? Aunt Flo came to call.

So there it is. I just can't win. Happy Mother's Day to me. (BTW, it is 5:22pm now and I have not even heard from The Boy)

When do I start actually saving money?

55 Days and not counting.

I have been vaping now for 55 days and I have to say I am loving it.

I have not picked up a cigarette since, nor do I want to. There is no withdrawal because I am still getting the one thing that was addicting me to tobacco in the first place and that is nicotine.

I am loving my 510 and have since bought more batteries so I have it in 4 colors now.

I have even gone off the tobacco flavors and now vape pretty much only coffee and Dr. Pepper. I loved that one so much that I squeezed the life out of the bottle to get the last drop. More is on the way thank god.

Now I am thinking ahead. With all the talk about e-juice having issues at customs, I figured I would stalk up. You just know the tobacco lobby is going to be all over this shit once it catches on. After all, this could potentially cripple the industry if everyone who currently smokes switches to e-cigs. And since the tobacco tax is justified by claims that the proceeds go to cover the costs of illnesses attributed to tobacco smoke use, well....the government will be hard pressed to get the same amount of tax applied to e-cigs if and when they start to regulate them.

So, I have begun my stockpile with some DIY stuff. High concentrate nicotine, glycerin and flavorings, so I can make my own. Right now....I would say I have enough supplies either in my possession or on order to last me a couple years.

It's a sickness. I have got to stop ordering.

I don't know why I am worrying. After all, if a 10 year old can get crack at school, I should be able to get a supply of nicotine juice just as easily.

Here's hoping.

Chief of Staff UCLA Santa Monica, on electronic cigarettes.

Dr. David Baron

The Electronic Cigarette Association

Matthew Salmon, former Republican Congressional Representative from Arizona responds to the FDA's late release of it's studies on Electronic Cigarettes.

Nails it!

Kits arrived in spite of it all.

I get a call at 8:20am this morning, it's the post office. I am expecting two packages, sent two days apart.

They have a package, probably the first one that was sent, "You expecting something from Taiwan or Japan or somewhere?" These are the people entrusted with getting shit to you and he can't determine what country it came from.

"China?"

"Yeah, that's it. I just need your address, cuz all this says is New Glasgow, NS."


Okay, so they got the general vicinity and they figure, oh yeah, someone in Nova Scotia will know this chick.

"Why not just keep it there, and I will pick it up." No sense confusing them further.

I go to get the package and it is actually the second one, the one with the kits in it. I was worried about that one because it was the one that cost me so much. I heave a sigh of relief. I ask if there is another and they said no, check back tomorrow.

Weird that the one they sent two days before got here, but not the first one.

Anyway, I get home and no sooner am I through the door but there is a knock. Its the mailman, with the other package. This is the same man that has never attempted to bring a package to me before, he usually assumes I won't be there and only brings a hanger. I know this because I have actually caught him leaving a hanger that says 'an attempt was made to deliver the package but you were not home, pick it up at the post office.'

After he passed me one a few weeks ago, I went to the post office and asked her that if he hands me this hanger, how does that constitute him 'attempting' anything? Since then, I have seen him hauling packages up and down the street and now he doesn't speak when I say good morning.

But I get my packages on the first try now.

Its just rude!

I go into a slow burn every time I see someone in a store walking around talking on their cell phone.

If you find you are unsure of what you are picking up for someone and you huredly ring them to get clarification, that's one thing. But having a conversation about some daft thing your boyfriend did the night before while you browse the isles is just fucking rude!!!!

Carry on that conversation as you stand in front of me in line for the cashier, I can barely contain my contempt.

Then you give me the stink eye when you realize I can hear you, like I want to eavesdrop on your innane conversation with your friend.

The cashier is trying to ring through your purchases and you can't give her your attention for ten fucking seconds?

I just want to punch you in the throat!!!!

And I just might.

Another funny site.

This guy is very funny.

I am completely and utterly addicted to Karl Pilkington.

Turns out that before the HBO show Ricky Gervais and his two little sidekicks had a radio show. So there are thousands of hours of audio on YouTube. I spent the better part of my shift listening.



At one point I was laughing so loud that I had to hang up on some poor slob who called in just as I was snorting milk out of my nose.

Wasted life.

Just got finished watching The Tooth Fairy.

I have to say that the best part of it (and the only thing stopping me from calling this post - 2 hours I will never get back) was Stephen Merchant.

He was hilarious.

I am now officially old.

Bought some ice cream the other day and when I opened it it looked like this.


First thing that went through my head was "That's fine, I will just scoop off that protective coating."

Once that thought processed, I was doubled over in a fit of laughter.

Holy shit...I am officially an old lady.

My e-cig