Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Where to begin?

How did I end up here? Living in butt-fuck-nowhere in a trailer with my sister?

Many planets aligned to make this happen. I was living alone, happily (despite my rednecked neighbors)in a two bedroom apartment in our little town. My sister was living not so happily alone in a trailer in butt-fuck-nowhere and working away on a ridiculously well paying job in another province. The Boy was living with his father and enjoying making his father and step monster miserable with his mere presence in their home.

All was right with the world.

The Boy is still living with his father and experiencing the joy of living there only because it makes them miserable. Not really a tough job since everything seems to make TBF and the step monster miserable. They have refined it to an art. However, The Sister and I became another story.

First The Sister's job came to an end and her unemployment insurance was soon to follow. She asked me a couple of times if I would consider moving in with her. She owned her own home, so there would be no rent and two incomes would be better than one. Sounded good, but I was enjoying living alone for the first time in forever. I had already converted (somewhat) the boys room into an exercise room. I had my home the way I liked it I was livin' (in my opinion) the dream.

The second set of rednecks (brother of the first) that lived below me were preparing to move and I was told by the landlord that(for the new tenant) he would be fishing from a different gene pool. That being said, I was very surprised to find the younger brother of the previous two tenants moving in one day. Give me strength!

Let me give you just a brief rundown of the first two. Sister redneck was the first. She and her 'husband' had triplets and stole the bed I had in stored in the barn and used it for two years. I thought someone stole it from the barn but when they moved out, thankfully, they left it behind.

The next to move in was the brother. He had two children and as many derelict cars in the driveway. None of his friends could grasp the concept of not blocking me in the three car wide driveway. No matter when they arrived, day or night when given the option of who to park behind, it was always me. Fuckin' maddening. Also when given the option of where on the property to set up their fireworks display they inveritably chose six inches from the front bumper of my car. (no matter where it was parked)

This is just a drop in the bucket as to what I had to deal with. I could go on but I won't. So you may understand why my heart sank when I saw the third installment moving in. But hey, I thought, this may not be as bad as I think.

Wrong. This is turning into a long drawn out post but it has to be said. First problem...they had a dog. A puppy, really. Keep in mind that I work from home. As far as I could tell, neither of the two people that moved in seemed to have a job so I wasn't concerned about the dog to start with. However, the first time they left it at home alone, he lost his mind.

I mention that this is unacceptable and that he can't leave the dog inside alone because I work from home and can't work with the dog howling. His solution? Leave him outside...alone. Guess what? He still howled. So I head down to leave a note on his door that his solution does not work when the little shit comes in the drive. "Dude, you can't leave the dog tied up."

He tries to ignore me. "You said I can't keep him inside so I put him out." and starts to get back in the car.

"In or out, he howls."

"Well I can't take him with me everywhere."

"Then I guess you can't have a dog then."

"Yes I can."

"Actually, no you can't. You can't have a dog in city limits if it disturbs the fucking peace and it is disturbing my fucking peace."

and he gets into the car and drives away.

THAT IS FUCKIN' IT! This was not a one day thing, and I had experience with this particular gene pool before so I knew how this was not going to be an easy road.

I called my sister, "You still want to live together?"

"Are you sure?"

"Question is, are you sure. I know I can deal with you, but you need to be sure you can deal with me."

"I can deal, but I don't think you mean it."

"As soon as we hang up, I am ordering a dumpster."

And that was it. Decision made, I phoned the landlord and gave notice.


Knock knock - it's cancer! said...


YOu are still posting! Halleluia! It's been forever since I've read you. It's been even longer since I've ever written in my blog.

It's michelle here from "Once upon a Time" and "One Full House" - I've quit both of those a few years ago, and just got busy living life...

But a ridiculous diagnosis of cancer has propelled me into the blogging world again, so here I am.

Looking forward to reading you again,


Knock knock - it's cancer! said...

So -do tell, how is it going living with the sister?

PS - the nice thing about living in BUTT FUCK NOWHERE is that there are no annoying neighbours around.