They just don't make 'em like that anymore.

My sister is what you call 'high maintenance'. She is my complete opposite. She is thin, I am not. She is always dressed to the nines, I dress for coverage, period. She is a tanner, I could signal ships at night with my pasty, white thighs. You get the picture.

She has been working a new job in New Brunswick. She works 6 days a week so she rarely makes it home, but managed to swing it for the Labour Day weekend. She calls me at 9:47PM, Saturday night, from the half way point. (The 'when' is important.)

She is frantic. "Do you have Bruce on your messenger?" Bruce is a former co-worker who happens to own the Golden Oasis Tanning Salon.

"No, but I can check to see if he is online, what do you need him for?"

"I need a tan." She said it like she 'needed' a fix.

"Uh, It's 10pm, I am pretty sure they are closed and tomorrow is Sunday."

"They are open on Sunday."

"Are you sure? This is a long weekend."

She is distraught. You have to understand, my sister is a tanning junkie. I don't think I have ever seen her 'natural' color except for in old pictures. The woman had open heart surgery last year and what she was most distressed about was that her tan had faded. I kid you not.

I don't really expect to get anywhere with it, but I message Bruce. He is aware of my sister's 'problem' but he is renovating the salon and informs me it will be closed on Sunday as well as Monday.

I relay this to my sister. Judging her reaction, you would swear someone kicked her dog. "I have a farmer's tan, I am desperate." I am not sure exactly what a farmer's tan is, but by the way she spat out the words, I am figuring it can't be good.

Long and short of it. After a bit of whining Bruce took pity and said if she didn't mind the mess he would meet her in the morning and let her get a tan.

Who does that in this day and age? You just don't get that kind of customer service anymore. Now, mind you, it is not something he would do everyday, but he recognized an actual damsel in distress and went above and beyond.

If I ever decide to get naked and stuff my fat ass into a lighted tube, Golden Oasis Tanning is the place I will do it.

No Bruce, that is not a threat.