And another thing...

2007: A Backpack Odyssey?

I just figured out how to send messages from my cell phone to contacts on my messenger.

I know, we have had the technology for a while now, but I did not. Just call me HAL. This technology would have come in handy when I had to fly solo on a mission to pick out a backpack for The Boy.

"You know I have only the most enthusiasm and confidence in this mission, Dave."

The Boy sends me on this mission and sets me up for failure.

I have to first set the stage.

I am waiting for a call from Undisclosed Internet Service Provider™ about the job so I forward my home phone to my cell so I don't miss the call. This means that I cannot call home. With me so far?

Ok, so The Boy's mission? Get him a backpack. If any of you have a teenager, you know it is not that simple. You can't get a lame one, or a gay one, etc, etc, etc. So I grill The Boy for particulars.

"I want a Swiss backpack." Pretty specific. "Black, blue, anything but red."
Since he is so specific, it does not really register what he has said. I have the brand name in my head and I am off to Staples.

As soon as I locate the 'Swiss' backpacks the gravity of the situation hits me.

"Just what do you think you're doing, Dave? Dave, I really think I'm entitled to an answer to that question."

I am staring at this thing in disbelief. I can't believe he has done this to me.
My blood runs cold as I stare at the Swiss backpacks. Swiss, as in Swiss Army Knife.

STAPLES ONLY CARRIES THEM IN RED!

"There's been a failure in the pod bay doors. Lucky you weren't killed."