Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Don't get me started.

  • The temperature does not drop 40 degrees when you cross the border. It's called the metric system, the whole world uses it. Besides the US, there are only 2 or 3 third world countries that are still on Imperial measure. Get with the program.
  • Men who put their sunglasses on their heads. You can only pull that off if your gay. Ditto for flip flops.
  • Stop assuming I eat lobster every day. Dude, those things are expensive and they don't just roam free in the parking lot.
  • I have never even seen an igloo, let alone live in one. And the only dog sled I have ever seen was on TV.
  • Metrosexuals: Pick a fuckin' team.
  • It's called gun control, not oppression. If you see a guy with a pistol and he is not in uniform, he's a criminal. Simple.
  • CSI: They are always walking around with little flashlights. Why don't they ever turn a fuckin' light on?
  • No, Canadian is not the same as American. "Oh thank God you're American." "I am actually Canadian." "Same thing." Don't they teach you bigots geography?
  • No I can't see what you are doing, its a fuckin' telephone, can you see me?
  • Not all fat chicks are short, so why can't you make a pantleg for the rest of us. Shoulder pads don't fool anyone. I just look like a linebacker.
  • If you want me to fix your computer, please note that "Its acting weird" is not enough information to go on. And if you start the conversation with 'once upon a time' I will beat myself to death with my keyboard.
  • "The program has performed an illegal operation" does not mean the SWAT team is on its way.
  • "How are you today?" Is a fuckin' rhetorical question. I do not give a flying fuck how you are.
Ya, been having a bit of a bad week.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I do enjoy hearing your thoughts ..

1) 40 degrees - But I brought my SKIs
2) gay - AGREE
3) lobster - what your brother/dad/husband isn't a fisherman
4) metro - i don't want them on MY team
6) Gun - pistol .. ha ha ha .. you are Canadian
7) CSI - but it looks cool!
8) same - actually my kids went all thru school in the USA .. and they DON"T teach Geography!
9) see me - lol
10) short - I'll send you my pant legs :o)
11) weird - what? you can't figure it out??? :o)
12) illegal - I never thought of that!
13) So How are you today?

Kevin said...

Canadian - n. Cold, disarmed American with really expensive mediocre quality "free" health care.

Evel said...

Kevin: n. American completely snowed by the managed health care/pharmaceutical lobby.

Unknown said...

OK. So today is NOT the day to call.

But, my computer is acting weird.

ME! said...

As an American, I agree about the temp/speed limit. Why do we use something that hardly anyone else does. Granted, I don't understand the conversion, so I'm glad they haven't changed it yet.

CS-I don't get it either:
Sometimes, they have their flashlights on in the bright sunlight of CSI: Miami!

yolospat said...

This was a GREAT list, especially about the dropping 40 degree's at the border.

Don't forget about driving 150 (no, that's not miles per hour)

Knock knock - it's cancer! said...

You are too cute.

Here's another one: Don't you just love it when someone calls up and says "you people..."

Yeah, as if I'm helping that person out.

Camille said...

acting weird; i get that too "umm, i can't get into program-x" ... silence. i want to ask "you want i should send you a jack-hammer or locksmith or clue?"