And another thing...

Attica! Attica!

Again I say, just because your paranoid does not mean everyone is not out to get you.

A while back I told you about the Joh.n How.ard Conspiracy. Well, the boy is in it again. But this time I am not letting it go.

To refresh your memory, the boy was 'caught' drinking underage.

I honestly thought nothing would come of it. For starters, the cop never had to get off his fat ass and chase my juvenile delinquent down. The boy was not harassing the store clerk or vandalizing property. Hell, you couldn't even smell the beer on his breath. (Believe me, I checked.) He was asked a question by a man in authority and he told the truth. (I know, I know, I have tried to talk to him) I would bet my life on the fact that there is not one cop in that precinct that didn't have a beer before he was legal.

The cop never tested him, never got him or me to sign anything. I thought they were just doing me a favor, putting a little jolt into the boy and putting the experimental drinking part of his adolescence off for a couple of years.

Ya think? Guess not. I don't hear from the cops after that. What I do get is a letter in the mail from the John Howard Society, telling me that my sons case was referred to them. What? What fucking case? He was never charged. Now they are bypassing me all together? No fucking way!

At that very moment my son was scrubbing scuff marks off the YMCA gym floor as part of his community service from the last fiasco with the JHS.

I get on the horn with the JHS director. I lost it with him. I was so enraged, I couldn't tell you what I said or when but here are the finer points:

"What the hell scam are you people trying to pull now?"

"You guys seem to be working together to justify your existence, and get slave labour for your friends in the process. Not this time mister!"

"If you want the boy this time, you are going to have to work for him. That cop is going to have to get off his fat ass and spend the day at the courthouse with me. And he better have his shit together, because I will be accompanied by a lawyer who I will pay to have his shit together."

"This will NOT be a slam dunk and I may even counter with a harassment charge since every time my son farts in that town he gets picked up."

"I will be calling you in as well, It will be interesting to know how many kids have gone through this restorative justice thing and ended up doing community service and just how many times they have had to go through it." (He had told us the first time we were there that this was a one chance thing. This will make three times for the boy.)

"I thought the cop was doing me a favor, but all he is teaching my son to do is lie to them." (Previously the same town cops coerced him into confessing to something he didn't do by threatening to fine him. He confessed and nothing came of it.)"So far he tells the actual truth and he gets community service."

"I will gladly pay a fine, after I get my day in court. The next stop will be the papers. I think people should know about this little arrangement you have with the police. Since you are publicly funded, I wonder if people are aware of how their tax dollars are spent prosecuting kids for drinking a beer, when a week before they still hadn't found the guy who beat the hell out of some old man and stole his car."

I have visions of "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!" I am pumped.

Unfortunately for me, the boy won't join the program. I am all Norma Rae, and he is all don't make waves. He called the JHS and agreed to go through the program. I think he and his friend actually enjoyed the community service. It was a way to volunteer without being a nerd.

I am not dropping it though, I will be at the meeting with the cop and the JHS. I will voice my opinion 'on the record'. I will also be composing a letter to the editor. I think this is a issue that needs to be addressed. People need to know that this shit is going on. These cops are cooking their 'crimes solved' books with the help of a publicly funded organization without ever having to actually solve crimes.

These are our tax dollars at work, and I for one am sick of paying twice for a job not done.