My dad could be sleeping next to stangers.

My mom was totally traumatized. The other day she received a letter in the mail.

"We note that your plot has not been paid for and are hoping that you will bring this account up to date."

What? Her name is on it...says so right there. It goes on to say.

"Our cemetery committee has decided that if we do not hear from you in 90 days from the date of this letter, the above noted plot will become available for sale."

Needless to say, my mother is flipping out. It does not take much for my mother to go off her gourd, and this could send her right off the deep end.

I tried to calm her. "They are not selling your plot."

"Well if I don't pay..."

"What are they going to do? Roll some strange chick up beside Dad? Who is going to buy it? Come on. It took them 20 years to send you an invoice, so their secretary isn't quite on the ball. I am thinking you will be dead long before we get the eviction notice."

Whoa! Now I get it. My mom will be 80 this year. Maybe they figure they better get the money out of her now before it's too late.

Brother Dave was on his annual visit the same day and she told him about it. He, of course, said "I'll take care of it" and proceeded to leave without the letter. Ya sure, you will take care of it.

My mother is calling every person she is related to, trying to make sure this gets paid. I told her I would take care of it, and I will. Either I will pay it or I will shame one of the others into it. What could be better for that than the threat that our mother may not be buried next to our father?

So, I take the letter with me to the outdoor mass, and corner the committee chairman. This is where it all gets laughable. I have to shake my head. Do you know how much a plot is in this cemetery? With perpetual care?

A hundred and fifty bucks. You read that right. "Are you kidding me?" He goes on to tell me that when the plot for my father was paid for they just put a hold on the one beside him for my mother. Why in hell wouldn't that person just pay for both? I mean they paid to have my mother's name inscribed on the headstone. What would happen if she never mentioned this letter to anyone? (like that would ever happen) But what if? Do we cut the stone in half and plunk it down on her new piece of real estate?

Unbelievable. First that it was not done 20 years ago, and second the fact that Dave didn't just 'take care of it' when he said he would. Right then and there. Write a check and be done with it. Because he had no intention of doing so, if he did, he would have taken the letter with him. Not surprising really. Considering she still doesn't have a new walker.

So why, you might ask would he risk our mother losing what little mind she has left? He has to know by now that our mother is wound pretty tight. I swear, that boy is half a bubble off of plumb.

It is so not a big deal. We will get it done this week.

I would be more concerned with how much perpetual care a hundred and fifty bucks really gets you?

Maybe the lawn cut? Certainly not snow removal.