Sunday, August 4, 2002

There actually is rest for the wicked.

I am finally done of the bookwork, I got a whole year done in just one week. Mind you I was greeting the sun every morning of this past week, but it was worth it. It means I will actually get the holiday Monday to myself. Not that I have anything drastic planned. Probably just lay around in my pj's and vegetate.

And another thing...
from August 2, 2002
(better late than never)

The bitter truth in advertising

I am sitting here slowly watching myself turn browner and browner. (is that a word?) Whodda thunkit? What a time to live up to the whole �truth in advertising� shtick.

I am not a sunbathing kinda gal. I have absolutely no patience for it. I could never commit the time it took to get a tan the �old fashioned� way. I buy mine in a tube. Over the years I have gotten quite good at it. There is a technique, you just have to get used to it and you can come up with a pretty decent tan. (as long as you don�t look too closely) I wouldn�t win any Coppertone bikini contests but at least I am no longer signaling ships with my pasty white thighs.

This year, like every other, they promised �new! Improved!� �deep dark tan���..Ya right!

I proceeded to slather it on, avoiding the knees, elbows, hairline etc. Thirty minutes later, a very nice even tan. The box says, �for a deeper tan, re-apply after one hour�. Previous years have taught me that their idea of �deeper� and mine are drastically different. So I go for it.

That done, I sit and blog for an hour or so, fighting with the ftp server to upload all those pictures. At 3am I finally finish. One trip to the can and I am off to bed. I pass the mirror and do a double take��.SHIT! �This is really dark� and as any of you who has ever used sunless tanning creams knows, it takes overnight to reach its full potential.

So much for looking sun kissed. I look like I have been baking in the sun for a week. So I am pretty sure this will not fool anyone who saw me yesterday.

Stick a fork in me�..I�m done.


In the morning I spent an hour in the shower scrubbing myself with a loofa. After tearing the first layer of my skin off, I reached the desired results of the tan. Who was it who said, �beauty is pain�?

Tell me so I can rip his heart out.

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