A dilemma, since I could not find my shovel. So out I go to clear the snow with just my feet and a hammer (for the inch of ice that is under it).
The pizza was not worth it. The next morning (around 4:30am) I am awakened by the call of nature. I roll over to get out of bed and the searing pain shoots up my spine.
I can't move, it is excruciating. I start to panic. I can't get out of bed and I don't have a phone nearby. What do I do? How long can I stay here before someone even notices that they haven't heard from me in a while? Work will call if I don't show up, but I still won't be able to get to the phone.
"I have to get out of this bed!"
After about half an hour I am finally in the bathroom. I do my business and am about to inch my way back to my bed, when it hits me. "What if I can't get out of bed the next time? What if I have to call an ambulance or something? I better take a shower while I am here." The whole 'clean underwear' thing your mamma warned you about.
An hour later I am fluffed and folded and back in bed with the cordless, the cell phone and my little laptop beside me. I have no real sense that I can recover from this injury since i have no drugs and I don't even have a hot water bottle to help ease the pain.
I look over and in the doorway are my two cats, Milo and Sammy.
They are just sitting there, side-by-side in the doorway, staring at me and I imagine the conversation between them.
MILO: "How long before you think we can start eating her face?"
SAMMY: "Dunno, lets just keep an eye on her."
At that point I start to really panic, I tried to call Nurse Darling, no answer. Bunnie has no car (it bought the farm the week before) The Boy is in school and my sister is 5 hours away in New Brunswick. I am completely alone in the world.
I am about to descend into complete despair when I think of something. I drag my laptop over and frantically email the only person I could think of, Tracey.
I cried like a baby when I saw her. She came to my rescue with a hot water bottle, some drugs and a hamburger. Because, well, everyone knows a Big Mac can cure cancer.
You really do find out who your friends are.
5 comments:
omg i almost pissed myself laughing, sorry but your misfortune entertains. anyways, i bet you find your shovel now!!
Actually, the landlord told the kid downstairs to come up and shovel any time it snows.
Are you okay now? Did you see a chiropractor?
even better, a slave! hopefully he's reliable lol
This morning, he shoveled the step, the walkway and a path to my car. Then he cleaned off the car.
That boy is a keeper.
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