And another thing...

Elvis has left the building.

Finally sold my car. She is gone, gone, gone! And it only took a month. JEEZ!

As soon as I was thinking about a new car, my friend told me that one of her friends was looking for a car, and wanted my old one. Well the guy phones and says he has been around to see it and he is interested. Great, that was easy. I was so wrong. I tell him that I won�t know for a week if I am getting the new one, will let him know. One week later, I run into him at the bank,

�You got your car? Great, will be over on the weekend to get the old one.�

�Great.�

Weekend comes and goes, no one shows.

The next week he calls, says he will be up at the end of the week. No show. Finally another week and the guy shows up,

�I don�t have all the money ($750) would you take a deposit and I will be up the end of next week to pay the rest?�

�Sure.� He gives me $200.

You guessed it, the end of next week comes and goes. I am getting really pissed now. Does this crayon think I am a bank?

Meanwhile, I have satellite problems, and when the guy comes to fix it, he is eyeing the car. We chat about my car selling woes and he says, �If that guy doesn�t show�.give me a call.�

By about Wednesday I am really getting stewed. Every time he doesn�t show, he also never even bothers to call and say he is not going to show. Then I hear that he told his wife that he gave me $400, and she found out he only gave me two. I think maybe she has killed him and has him stuffed in a trunk somewhere. I am sitting at work and decide, fuck it, I am calling the satellite guy. He says that he will be up at 4:30 to pick it up.

He comes, he pays, he drives away. The way God intended car selling to be. I am sitting there, I literally haven�t even put the money in my wallet when the phone rings.

�Ya, this is so and so, I just wanted to let you know that I would be over tomorrow with the rest of the money and pick up the car.�

�That might work for you, if there was a car for you to pick up. I sold it.�

�What?�

�Look, I waited and you didn�t show, someone showed up with the money in hand, and I sold it.�

�Oh, so I guess I will come up tomorrow and get my deposit�

�Oh, I am sure you will.� I sneer sarcastically. I just know he isn�t going to miss that appointment. The sarcasm is lost on him.

So, the old girl is gone. A little sad, but also a lot satisfying.

I am in total love with my new car, and am driving people crazy. Going over it with a fine tooth comb, seeing scratches and nicks, wiping off fingerprints, tossing papers out the window (fuck the environment, it messes up the car), even going so far as to freak out at the gas station attendant for slapping that dirty old squeegee on my just washed car windshield. I made him wipe it off with a paper towel.

Who washes the windshield of a car that is clearly still dripping with water from the carwash?

I am back to being a one car owner and couldn�t be happier. Hope the old girl understands, she was just too high maintenance.