You might be a redneck!

Got in touch with a mortgage broker and she came up with a couple different mortgages I can go with. I chose...drum roll please.

Canadian Tire. You heard me. Canadian Tire actually offers mortgages. Here's the kicker. You get $400 back in Canadian Tire money.

You might be a redneck if you get your home financed at Canadian Tire.

Way cool.

House Update.

I decide to go to the bank and see if I can assume the mortgage for the house. The banker tells me I am 100 points away from qualifying for a no down payment mortgage. Shit! But she says this is good news. She wants me to rent-to-own for a year at which time I will not need a down payment. And that year will give me time to save up for the legal fees.

I relay this info to the owner of the house, "I am going to talk to my banker, I think there is a way around this." Ok, whatever she wants.

She calls me back yesterday, "Good news, I am going to write a letter saying I am your Aunt and gifting you the down payment."

"But I still need to save for the legal fees."

"Bah! Couple thousand dollars, I will pay the legal fees."

She is starting to freak me out. She is making it so I will pay nothing out of pocket. Too good to be true? Maybe, but I have nothing to lose, so I am going for it.

I just know she will be hit by a bus or something before the papers are ever signed.

That was fun. Let's never do it again.

The storm is over and the power was restored yesterday. However, the internet just came back on a couple hours ago. Some people are still without power and are understandably pissed. Me, I was just happy I could finally take a shower.

After my harrowing journey home on Saturday night. I decided Sunday not to repeat the performance and stayed in town for the night. I went to stay with Donna, a friend from work.

The power was out everywhere so it was pitch black when we arrived at her home. We tried the front door and it was locked. Donna noticed a bag hanging on the doorknob, "I wonder what this could be?"

We make our way to the back door, feeling our way around the house, carrying this bag. The back door is also locked. We fish around in her purse and finally find the key, but it is for the front door. Back we go around to the front of the house.

Much slipping and toe stubbing later we finally get in the door. Feel around in the pitch black for candles, Donna says, "Hurry and light that candle so I can see what is in this bag." I light the candle, she reaches in the bag. Can you guess what it was? I just looked at her, "You old bat!" And we both double over in fits of laughter.

The landlord had hung a flashlight on the doorknob so we could find our way around in the darkness. It apparently hadn't dawned on her to actually feel the bag to determine what might be inside.

You know your old when...

And so it begins.

Dashing through the fucking snow. First storm of the season and it is a whopper. In a perfect world I would be sitting in the comfort of my home in front of a roaring fire. However, the Undisclosed Customer Service Center� is equipped with a generator so I had to drag myself out of Butt Fuck Nowhere and into work.

Last night as the storm was just getting started I decided I would try and make way home. It was a white knuckle ride all the way. The road was not plowed or salted and it appeared that only one other person had driven that road (thankfully) so I had to drive in tracks of that poor unfortunate. Hoping against hope that he at least made it as far as my house. The trees were so heavy with snow that they were laying across the road, leaving just enough room for my car to get through.

I know what you are thinking. "What the hell was she thinking?" Believe me I was asking myself the same thing as my battery was starting to go dead.

Luckily I did make it home and the car died in the driveway. My brother had to drive me into work tonight. I will not try that treck again in the nighttime. I will stay in town tonight.

Don't ya just love winter?

No longer homeless.....and this time I really mean it......I hope.

The boy and I (and sister) went to see the house today. We love it. Ok, I love it and sister loves it but the boy could care less.

It has a fireplace (that works) and a cast iron tub. You know, the kind with feet? The kind of tub us fat chicks can actually get wet in.

Sounded too good to be true. I, of course, told her I would get back to her later in the evening or tomorrow. We go outside, I ask my sister, "What do you really think?"

"I love it, I think you should go for it."

So, later I stew over it, and my sister-in-law says, "Go for it, it might turn out alright, and if it doesn't it doesn't." Hmmmmm, wise words, what is the worst that could happen?

So, I call the lady back, "I am going to go for it."

Well, she surprised me then. The woman wants to bend over backwards to sell me this house. She is calling her bank and seeing what we can work out. She says whatever she owes on the house is what I will pay, she is even going to come down on the rent. As long as she breaks even she is fine with it. She has already told her daughter to be out by December first. "I think you are in the same boat as my daughter was and I feel that no matter what it takes I want you to have this house."

I hope she is not blowing smoke up my ass. But we are meeting tomorrow, after she speaks with her banker, and finalizing things.

I will be in my own place for Christmas. Ye haw!

And another thing...

I can't believe I didn't post anything on my birthday (Nov 3rd). I am 39, holy shit, did I say that? I had a good one, among other little gifts, the security guard at work gave me a racey card and a toonie to get a coffee at Tim's. Gotta love it.

Gotta see a man woman about a horse house.

Meeting a woman tomorrow about the possibility of renting to own her house. Not sure if I can swing the $675/mo that she is looking for but it might be possible if I can convince my sister to come with me. It is 3 bedrooms really close to work so even if she won't consider it, I could take in a border from work.

She explained that after a year of renting, if I still wanted to buy, she would put all the monies she collected for rent against the down payment. Also there is the possibility of getting 100% financing from CMHC, I may look into that as well. I am just so tired of renting with nothing to show for it. This just might be the thing, I have a semi-good feeling about it.

Wish me luck.

Overheard.

Was talking to the boy on the phone and heard his father in the background.

"I can't stand this, I can't wait till he moves out and things are back to normal."

I know what you're thinking ladies, 'she let that prince slip through her fingers?'

I need to find an apartment fast.

From bad to worse.

Last week I had an apartment, for about 2 days. The landlord called and told me it was mine if I wanted it. It was on the same street as my old place, perfect I thought. Mind you it was for a lot more money but it was 3 bedrooms. Then the landlord's wife called me two days later to say she couldn't rent from me. She gave some lame excuse about me not leaving the place clean. I explained to her that the old landlord knew two months before that he was selling the place and at that time he had had a dumpster blocking my driveway for 3 months. He could have told me then and I wouldn't have had to leave so much junk behind, I could have thrown it out then. I also explained that the junk was neatly piled in the basement. It was hard to argue with and I knew there was something else she was wanting to say, then she comes out with.

"We have heard there has been problems with your son." WTF?

"My landlord told you that?"

"No, he said you paid your rent on time and that you were a good tenant, but we hear this from other people."

"What other people, what did they say? I have never had trouble with my son."

"I don't think we should discuss it."

What was going through my head was that I would like to argue with her a bit,then rip her head off and shit in her neck. Then I realized that she also lived in the building and I knew I didn't want to live there so all I said was, "Fine then, go fuck yourself." It was the only neighborly thing to do.

But I have to find a place soon. My son is absolutely miserable living with his father. I have to tell you what the asshole said, loud enough for me to hear through the phone. I was talking to the boy and heard his father talking to his girlfriend in the background, "I can't stand this, I can't wait till he moves out so things can get back to normal." Nice. What a prince. Hard to believe I kicked that one to the curb, eh?

All I could think of was, if I had killed him when I first wanted to, I would be out of jail by now.