Trailer Trash, not just for trailers anymore.

The boy's team finished 3rd in the last tournament of the hockey season yesterday. They won the last game against a team that they never won against all year so it was doubly exciting. However, all was not fun and games and the parents of the other team showed a lot of us what not to do at a child's hockey game. Just thought I would post a copy of a letter I promptly sent to the editor of the local paper.

To the Editor:

I just have to write to express my disappointment and disgust at the conduct of the New Glasgow Bantam B parents at a recent tournament held Trenton this weekend.

I realize that things can get heated when you are routing for your favorite team but booing a 14 year old when he is receiving a medal is a bit beyond classless.

In two different games that Trenton had against New Glasgow, the New Glasgow parents showed poor taste and even poorer sportsmanship when they cheered a certain Trenton player when he got a penalty. Now, that can be chalked up to the heat of the moment during a tournament game,but after the games were over and the children were lined up to receive awards and medals, these parents went above and beyond tasteless.

As this particular boy was called up to receive his award, the New Glasgow parents booed him. I am sorry, but this just rubbed me the wrong way and if it had have been my son, they would have been hearing about this long before this letter was printed. What kind of an example are these people setting for their children? If I were the parent of this child I would demand an apology from the New Glasgow Minor hockey for the conduct of the parents at this tournament.

You know what? Even though it was not my son, I still demand it. Wrong is wrong, and they should be ashamed of themselves. We all signed contracts when our children were registered for hockey and they broke that contract.

The Fair Play Code of Ethics is to be followed by the PCMHA membership. Their own website states: Respect the Rules, Respect the Opponents, Respect the Officials and Their Decisions, Have Everyone Participate, Maintain Your Self-Control at all Times.

Clearly they do not practice what they preach.

Regards,

Evel Woman
Trenton Bantam B Parent

And how was your weekend?

It never gets old.

Just a little told ya so dance.

Michael is alive after a plane crash and he ends up pulling surprise, surprise, AJ out of the wreckage.

F...ing near snow blind.

And so it begins. The sister has moved in, and I come home the other night and she has moved things around. Ok, not a biggie. But she is starting to move everything. I told her to let me know before she moves me out of my room. I'll just wait till she goes to sleep and move everything back, sooner or later she will get tired of it.

I am a little different than her, I have things in certain places, not for aesthetic reasons but for pure functionality. For instance, she moved the baskets from the hall table and stacked them against the door, now I knock them over every time I come out of my room. They will soon find another home.

I also told her that the bathroom door needs to be kept shut. Not that I like it shut, or it looks better shut, or even that I want it shut. I told her it needs to be shut. Well this morning she found out why. The cat got in there and shredded the shower curtain. Let's say it together, shall we? "The door needs to be kept shut."

After she replaces a few dozen shower curtains, she might get it.

She also has some sort of eerie fascination with white, she replaced my navy blue shower curtain with a white one, blah, and my black coffee maker with a white one. Ditto for the wall clock and the clothes hamper. I swear, one more white piece of anything and I am going to throw up.

We might need to have a meeting. Or I could just get a can of red spray paint and paint while she sleeps.

How do you pronounce that?

Here at the Undisclosed Customer Service Center� you are given a case number to go through for technical support, they all start the same way, SRX, then the date and then 6 more numbers.

"Thank you for calling the Undisclosed Customer Service Center� my name is blah blah blah...may I have your first and last name please?"

Very pissed off, "ESS ARR EX, ZERO FIVE ZERO..."

Very calmly, "Thank you, and how do you pronounce that?"

Sometimes, rude people slay me.

The crazy cat sisters.

Well on my way to becoming one of the crazy cat sisters. My sister moved in with me today. Cat to follow. The boys room is officially rented.

It should be ok, since I work nights and she works days. We will not get on each others nerves too quickly.

She still has to get all her stuff out of her house, and hopefully the husband won't put up too much of a fight.

Fingers crossed.

S-H-M-I-L-Y!

SO, the boy has been gone for 3 weeks. I have to ask myself "how do I really feel about that"? Do I miss him? Or do I just miss the little boy that he was.

The kid who would write S-H-M-I-L-Y! (see how much I love you) in the butter and snicker when I found it.
The three year old who would stop what he was doing when 'our song' came on the radio and ask me to dance.
Who would play 'nap monster' with me, a game I devised at 7 in the morning when I wanted to sleep just a little longer.
The kid who loved 'tickle monster' because every single part of his body was ticklish.
The boy who would curl up on the couch with me, look at me all lovey-dovey, blow a big fart and laugh his ass off.
The kid who would learn a song on the guitar and hurry to play it for me.
The kid who wanted me to come to the skate park so I could watch him do his latest trick.

Now, he is a teenager. He doesn't want to talk to me about his day, he doesn't want me to know he has a girlfriend. He doesn't want me to drop him off right in front of the mall. He doesn't want me to kick anyone's ass on his behalf. He doesn't care if I show up at the hockey games. He rarely even calls, unless he wants something.

When did I become someone he endured?

I haven't seen SHMILY! in a long, long time.

I told you so.

Just want to go on record. Been watchin G.ene.ra.l H.osp.it.al off and on. Now I don't think I have to watch again till sweeps.

The whole kidnapping of Sonny's kids? It's AJ. He faked his own death, framed Courtney for it, got Faith to kidnap the kids and sent back all but Michael, his son. He gets revenge on them all, and gets his kid back. Mystery solved.

Now I can watch something else at 4. Any suggestions?

House or Barn edition?

"Thank you for calling the Undisclosed Customer Service Center� my name is blah blah blah..."

"Ya I kent git inta ma puta"

"What version of w.in.do.ws do you have sir?"

"I have a ipac with windas xp house."

I kid you not.

Fucked up the ass, and still no dinner.

Well I guess I needed more than luck. I needed my head examined for ever getting into this mess.

The psycho DID bitch sent her daughter to the hearing, since she knew she couldn't look me in the face and lie. The daughter says, "My stepfather starts chemo tomorrow and I didn't want them to be tired for that."

Turns out this woman has been in the rental property business for over 30 years. With me, she acted like this was the first time she was ever attempting anything like this. She totally snowed me. She knew exactly what to do. She asked me to leave on 5 days notice, and she said that we should have something in writing, she sent Art over to get me to sign a paper that said I agreed to vacate the premises. I signed it, because I did agree. But she never signed it.

So, because of that little piece of paper that I didn't even write, I was walking funny by the time I left there.

The director kept saying, why did you sign that paper?

Next time I think something is too good to be true, I will listen to myself and not others who tell me to go for it. What did I have to lose?

Well turns out because I left without giving a months notice that I could be liable for January and February rent as well as heat and lights for the property. But psycho bitches daughter says she will advise her mother to just let the whole thing go. Isn't she a peach? All I had to do was agree to drop my claim for the return of the damage deposit. She however did not have to agree to anything. Don't you just love the system working? Everyone gets fucked once and then they learn. So if this woman was in the business for over 30 years, you know she has seen a lot of pump action. So, I agree. I told the director, "I just want to be shut of those people."

I wanted to climb over the table and rip off her arm and beat her to death with it. I felt like saying, "Your mother's probably poisoning her husband, cancer my ass!"

Well I think I will just chauk this one up to experience, do my time with the huge L on my forehead for a while and move on and keep my back to the wall from now on.

Wish me luck.

I know I am getting pretty lame with this blog, but I hope to start updating daily very soon.

The boy is still with his father, and I don't expect he will be back. His father has told him that he will not ask me for child support. Not suprised since that would take effort.

Tomorrow I go to the tennancy hearing and hopefully I will get some of my money back from the psyco bitch. Wish me luck on that.

It's a thankless job, but mothers have to do it.

After 14 years of doing without for him, the boy has decided that he wants to live with his father. I don't blame him really. He is 14 and when you are 14 it is all about the money, and his father has it.

His father has not paid child support since October, when the boy first went to live with him while I found another apartment. Since then the boy has been back and forth, but when he would be home with me, his father wouldn't pay because he had been with him and I didn't pay. Then I would run out of money and the boy would have to go back, there was no way for me to catch up. He would stay with his father for a month, so his father would not pay cs for a month after he came back, by that time we were eating pb&j and the boy didn't like that and would go back to his dad's. It was a vicious cycle. If the boys father's intention was to make his place look like the better deal, he succeeded.

I know that the only reason the father wants him is so he doesn't have to pay child support. He is under the impression that I will be obligated to pay the same amount that he has had to pay all these years. He does not take into account that he makes 3 times as much as me. He is also under the false impression that he will also get the same amount in child tax credit, which is based on your income. I really can't wait to see his face.

The thing that pisses me off though, is that the father will take credit for how the boy turned out. At 14 he is already the person that he will turn out to be, so I am not worried that the father will ruin him, but he will take credit for it.

Anyone with children will tell you that they are a selfish and ungrateful bunch. Year after year I went without to provide for him, but the second his father coughed up forty bucks for a skateboard deck, he was an instant hero.

I have to say that I feel a little guilty for not being more upset. But there is not much I can do. He is 14, he can decide where he wants to live and I know that living with his father he will want for nothing. Well except, hopefully, me. And it is not like he has left the country, I can see him when his busy 14 year old schedule permits.

He was worried that I would be upset, but I told him that if it was something he really wanted that I was ok with it. I told him I loved him and was proud of him and that I would miss him.

That's what they say.

I realize after working for the Undisclosed Customer Service Center�, for almost two years, how wrong it is to assume. You know the saying 'makes an ass out of u and me' is so true.

Never Assume:

- everyone knows what 'right click' means.
- everyone knows what version of windows is on their pc.
- people who buy computers know what they are buying.
- people who pirate software know they are pirating software.
- you can reason with people who think Mi.cro.s.oft IS the internet.
- a person who would pay $1500 for a computer might be open to paying $35 to fix it.
- everyone knows the difference between install and download.
- everyone knows the difference between activate and register, even when they are reading the words off the screen.
- everyone knows the difference between hardware and sofware.
- anyone reads the end user license agreement on software.
- that if someone indicates they are a doctor/lawyer/candlestick maker that they will be in any way, shape or form any more reasonable than the chick who thinks Mi.cro.so.ft is taking over her computer. In fact the more educated the person the less likely they are to grasp the fact that you will not help them fix pirated software.
- that when you say "I am not a support professional and I am not technically trained" people will grasp the fact that I you are not technically trained!
- that everyone knows where to type in a URL.
- that support professionals will support you in any way or in any way be professional while not doing so.
- that when I say "have a nice day' I really give a shit about the day you have!

Have a nice day.

You just can't make this shit up.

"Thank you for calling the Undisclosed Customer Service Center� my name is blah blah blah..."

"Ya, I was working with a tech and he wanted me to format my hard drive and call back when I was ready to do a clean install."

I get the case number and am about to transfer when, just for shits and giggles, I ask, "And you have the windows disk?"

"No, I don't have a disk, is that a problem?"

No, of course not, we are magic.

What to do?

Not sure when the boy turned into this huge asshole, but he has. It wasn't gradual really, it was more the second he turned 13 it was over for us. Not sure what that is about.

He tells me NOTHING! He wants EVERYTHING! I'm not sure who he thinks he is but he is not growing up Gotti! He seems to think that miraculously I am making 100 grand a year, just because he wants.

His father is not making it any better. He didn't even bother getting the boy anything for his birthday this year. (the boy just turned 14 on Feb 3) Even though the boy was staying with him at the time. He says he didn't have time to pick anything up. Funny thing is, he had time to 'pick up' a big screen TV two days earlier, no problem. Unfortunately this is a problem because the boy is not a Moron. His father used to be able to pull this shit when he was 5, now he sees the big screen TV, he knows how much it cost, he knows that means his father has both money and time, just not the desire to shop for his birthday gift.

Sad really. Not sure what I am going to have to do. He keeps getting worse, he might need a slight attitude adjustment.

And then there was one.

We have a new member of the family, Milo.



He is the only cat I have now. As I was packing up to move out of the fated rent-to-be-fucked house Luci was hit by a car. She walked home on 3 legs. I took her to the vet (on a Sunday and holiday, $$ CHA CHING $$) and after a couple days of observation they said to me, "We will have to amputate the leg." Then the vet says something to me that I can't believe he did with a strait face, he used the words 'cat' and '$265' in the same sentence.

I am sorry. Fluffy may be cute and you may love Fluffy, but Fluffy is NOT getting a liver transplant. I had to have her put down. It was sad, but she obviously could not get out of the way of a car with 4 good legs, not sure what the vet intended her to do with 3.

Anyway, the Famous Oscar (remember the man cat who gave birth?) is also no longer with us. He had been staying at my brother's while I was looking for a new place and seems to have 'ran away'. We are sticking with that story anyway. The boy was very upset, so my sister gifted him with Milo for Christmas.



This cat is, for lack of a better word, nuts! He will jump at anything, throwing himself up against the wall. He refuses to leave the kitty litter in the box, choosing to kick most of it out before doing his business. Adele fixed his wagon and bought me a box with sides on it, he is very upset with it. He will walk up to you, very nonchalant, and just bite your leg and walk away. He refuses to let me take a bath alone, even after falling in a couple times he insists on sitting on the side of the tub and I have the shredded arm to prove it. He never met a lighter he didn't like to bat around the kitchen floor at 4 in the morning, his preferred play/flip out time. He is truly nuts!

Well here are the pics of the new place I promised you. It is very cozy, with slanted walls and cheesy wood paneling but I love it.



When it clears up I will take pictures of the deck, very nice.



You can do the 'Wonder Woman' dance in this bathroom, it is huge.





I removed the contact paper that was on the wall behind the sink, fake wood paneling. What was that woman thinking?



Dark paneling and an exposed chimney, kinda cool.

Where to begin?

I am writing this from a new apartment. That's right, a lot has happened. Since it is a long and drawn out story, I am going to copy and paste the text from the papers filed with the Residential Tenancy Board. (ya, it is not pretty).

- Woman at work is posting an ad for a house on the bulletin board. I tell her that if the person ever wants to rent-to-own to give me a call.

- About a month later, she gives me a note from the caretaker of the property. Own asked him to "find the woman interested in rent-to-own".

- Conversation with Caretaker: we discuss the rent-to-own arrangement. How I would rent to own for a year and after that the owner would put the rent from that year into a down payment for a mortgage. He gives me the owner's number for me to call and discuss it with her and make an arrangement to go see the house.

- Meet at the house with my sister and my son. We discuss rent to own and the possibility of me obtaining a mortgage within the year. She also indicates that her daughter must move out of the house and that she wants someone in there as soon as possible so the house is not empty.

- Over the next month, Helena and I have numerous conversations. In every one of them we discuss the different options in obtaining a mortgage sooner than one year but always end conversation with "if I don't get approval we can start the rent-to-own thing" meaning, no matter what I would move into the house when her daughter moved out in December.

- Had two meetings with Joanne at CIBC to investigate mortgage possibilities. She suggest that I go with the rent-to-own, because after a year I would not need a down payment, that the bank would consider the rent payments, which have to be so much over the going rate, as an investment in the property and I could take that year to save up for the legal fees. I open up two accounts at CIBC to this end.

- I talk to Helena about the meeting with CIBC and she says that she is going to talk to her bank, that maybe she can help speed up the process.

- Helena?s banker suggests going through a broker to obtain a mortgage and gives us a name. I contact the broker and she investigates possible mortgage companies.

- Helena suggests that she tells the mortgage company that she is my 'aunt' and that she is gifting me with the down payment, she also offers to pay all the legal fees. She just wants to be rid of the house and appears to be willing to do anything to that end. Even at this point all conversations end with us agreeing to begin the rent to own no matter what.

- It is getting close to the date her daughter is moving so we discuss the financials for moving in on a rental basis. We agree to $675/mo and since it will be the middle of the month when I move in we agree to half months rent and half months damage deposit. Move in date is set for Dec. 13/04. Within the week I meet with her daughter to sign purchase and sale agreement.

- I show up on the 13th and she is cleaning carpets and having the furnace serviced. I won't be able to move in. This is a set back because my son has been living with his fathers and he is literally waiting on the doorstep with his belongings, he cannot stay another day. I have to take him with me to my brothers to stay the night; it is very traumatic for both of us.

- December 14, show up to get key. Helena has lease for me to sign. I admit I did not read it fully. I give her a check for $675 dated for Dec. 17/04 (my pay day). After I sign it she tells me that there is someone else interested in purchasing the house. I am stunned but at this point my things are out of storage and literally on their way to the house. My son's things are piled in the car with nowhere else to go. She tells me not to worry that the man interested in buying the house wants it as a rental property. I tell her that I hope he doesn't think I will be paying $675 because that amount was agreed to because of the rent to own option. She says I can work that out with him. She also says that if this guy does buy that she will return this payment of $675. But if I get approval for a mortgage it would be a moot point anyway.

- I hear from one of the brokers. She has approval for a 65% mortgage. She says that payments on the other 35% would be worked out between the owner and me. She tells me that after a year the mortgage would be refinanced and the owner paid out at that time. This seems reasonable to me.

- I inform Helena of this. She says to me, "I couldn't agree to that" I ask her why not? It is better than the original rent to own agreement, at least this way she would receive 65% up front. She replies with, "Oh no, I would never agree to rent to own." All I can say is "are you kidding me?" I am floored. It is right before Christmas, I am not even unpacked and I am looking at $675/mo rent on a house she is now telling me she never had any intention of selling to me. There is also no oil in the tank and I am having to get my brother to deliver it in jugs because I can?t afford to have it delivered from an oil company because they have a min delivery which I can't afford right before Christmas. On top of this, Caretaker brings the potential new owners in to see the house.

- I try in the next week to contact Helena; I can't stay in this house for this amount of rent if there is no possibility that I would end up owning it. She does not return any of my calls. Christmas eve comes and I have nothing for my son, I am tapped out and Christmas is looking grim. I check the bank and see that Helena has not cashed the check yet, so I take out $100 of it, since it is Friday night, I know the check won?t go through till Monday and I have plans to put that money back before then. Unfortunately on Christmas day the car breaks down and I have to have it towed.

- Helena calls me on Monday, (Dec. 27) she tells me the check bounced. I start to explain and she says that perhaps if I can?t afford the place that I should move out and that we should both just forget the whole thing. I agree that it is a good idea. She tells me I have to be out by the first of the month. She is also concerned about the heat and the possibility of the pipes freezing. I tell her that I will put oil in the tank before I leave.

- Dec. 28/04 I have 300L of oil delivered. ($210.11)

- Caretaker comes by with a note for me to sign saying I will 'vacate the premises' by the first of the month. Because of the holiday we revise the date until the 3rd. I give him the receipt for the oil so that Helena won't have to worry about the pipes. At this time I discuss with the caretaker the fact that Helena is now claiming that she never intended to rent to own with me. He tells me that her exact words to him were, "find the woman that was interested in renting to own", he apologizes for the whole mess.

- I move out on Dec. 3rd the place is clean and undamaged. I chalk the whole thing up to experience.

- Jan. 13/04 - Helena cashes the check dated Dec 17/04, the one she told me bounced. It did not bounce; at this point I am not sure if she really intended to do this so I give her the benefit of the doubt.

- I start calling her on her cell phone and her home phone. I get no response, and after about an hour her cell phone is turned off. I leave 2 messages on her home phone.

- Jan 14/04, still try and call her home phone until 4pm when I have to go to work.

- Jan 15/04 ? call her home phone at 9:30am. Get the message "the party you are trying to reach has chosen not to take calls at this time, please hang up." She is blocking my calls.

- That night I get the caretaker to call her to find out her intentions. He speaks to Helena's husband, Jack. Jack tells him that yes they intended to cash the check and they also have no intention of giving any of it back to me. That if I wanted to go to the tenancy board to do what I had to do.

And yes it gets better. I file the papers with the tenancy and find that she has made application to keep the damage deposit. Her reason? I abandoned the property without giving a months notice. So she wants to keep the damage deposit to apply to January's rent and wants me to pay the balance.

I know, I had the same look on my face as you do right now. Luckily I have no idea where she lives or I would be blogging right now from a jail cell.

We will see how it all turns out. My sister would have had a nervous breakdown, but the way I look at it? If it doesn't turn out? I will chalk it up to experience. I am not going to have a stroke over the whole thing.

I have to say, I really love the new apartment. I moved in sight-unseen practically but when I stepped into the bathroom, prepared to lament the loss of the footy tub, I had to catch my breath. The tub is even bigger and I had not thought that possible, but you can drown a 7 foot man in that tub. I love it.

The apartment is very cozy and spacious at the same time. The stairs would scare the average bear, but they are great for the thighs. I will get some pics up here in a few days as soon as I find the batteries for the camera.

Well I should post this before it is so long that no one dares read it, I will have to save the "three blizzards in the span of a week" conversation for another time.

Don't ya just love winter?

AHHHHHH!

That is much better.

Ok, I have a lot to catch you up on, but at the moment I have to go make some money.

Stay tuned!

I'm Back!

Back up and running, soon to be back to normal. Just as soon as I figure out how to utilize the webspace.

Film at 11.

My Bad!

I know, I know, I haven't been blogging in a while. No I am not dead, just internet-less. Blogging at work is hard but today is a very slow day.

On the house front, I am all moved in. However, the woman that owns the house has turned out to be (as I had suspected) a psychopath or at the very least suffers from Disassociative Identity Disorder.

The Canadian Tire mortgage fell through because the house was too old and only had 60 amp service. So the next mortgage the broker offered me was a 65% mortgage and another personal loan for the 35% between me and the owner. She refused it. I told her it was better than the original plan we had for rent-to-own for a year, at least she would have 65% up front. And after a year they would refinance the mortgage and pay her off. And then she said something that made me suspect the DID. "Oh I would have never agreed to rent-to-own."

Excuse me but could I talk to the other personality that I have been dealing with all along? Turns out she had an offer on the house. The guy was interested in buying it as a rental property. How much you wanna bet that having someone in the house renting was a selling point for DID woman?

But I think it may be a good thing. Considering the 60 amp service that would have to be upgraded to 110 in order for me to get insurance for the house. After the conversation with DID woman, I went upstairs to dry my hair and proceeded to blow the fuses for the entire second floor of the house. Perhaps a sign from God. That turned out to be the tip of the iceberg on this house.

I won't get into it, but the plan is now: If I can renegotiate the rent ($675 nothing included) with the new owner to a reasonable amount I will stay on. But if not I already have another place lined up around the corner that is $425/mo heated. In this neck of the woods that is dirt cheap rent. The only down side is moving twice in two weeks. The helpers might rebel.

My banker on the other hand is happy this did not work out. She says that if I wait a year, I can get preapproved for a mortgage and find the place I want instead of the first one that is available to me. Good plan, I think I will go with it.

Hope you all have a good Holiday, keep your stick on the ice.

You might be a redneck!

Got in touch with a mortgage broker and she came up with a couple different mortgages I can go with. I chose...drum roll please.

Canadian Tire. You heard me. Canadian Tire actually offers mortgages. Here's the kicker. You get $400 back in Canadian Tire money.

You might be a redneck if you get your home financed at Canadian Tire.

Way cool.

House Update.

I decide to go to the bank and see if I can assume the mortgage for the house. The banker tells me I am 100 points away from qualifying for a no down payment mortgage. Shit! But she says this is good news. She wants me to rent-to-own for a year at which time I will not need a down payment. And that year will give me time to save up for the legal fees.

I relay this info to the owner of the house, "I am going to talk to my banker, I think there is a way around this." Ok, whatever she wants.

She calls me back yesterday, "Good news, I am going to write a letter saying I am your Aunt and gifting you the down payment."

"But I still need to save for the legal fees."

"Bah! Couple thousand dollars, I will pay the legal fees."

She is starting to freak me out. She is making it so I will pay nothing out of pocket. Too good to be true? Maybe, but I have nothing to lose, so I am going for it.

I just know she will be hit by a bus or something before the papers are ever signed.

That was fun. Let's never do it again.

The storm is over and the power was restored yesterday. However, the internet just came back on a couple hours ago. Some people are still without power and are understandably pissed. Me, I was just happy I could finally take a shower.

After my harrowing journey home on Saturday night. I decided Sunday not to repeat the performance and stayed in town for the night. I went to stay with Donna, a friend from work.

The power was out everywhere so it was pitch black when we arrived at her home. We tried the front door and it was locked. Donna noticed a bag hanging on the doorknob, "I wonder what this could be?"

We make our way to the back door, feeling our way around the house, carrying this bag. The back door is also locked. We fish around in her purse and finally find the key, but it is for the front door. Back we go around to the front of the house.

Much slipping and toe stubbing later we finally get in the door. Feel around in the pitch black for candles, Donna says, "Hurry and light that candle so I can see what is in this bag." I light the candle, she reaches in the bag. Can you guess what it was? I just looked at her, "You old bat!" And we both double over in fits of laughter.

The landlord had hung a flashlight on the doorknob so we could find our way around in the darkness. It apparently hadn't dawned on her to actually feel the bag to determine what might be inside.

You know your old when...

And so it begins.

Dashing through the fucking snow. First storm of the season and it is a whopper. In a perfect world I would be sitting in the comfort of my home in front of a roaring fire. However, the Undisclosed Customer Service Center� is equipped with a generator so I had to drag myself out of Butt Fuck Nowhere and into work.

Last night as the storm was just getting started I decided I would try and make way home. It was a white knuckle ride all the way. The road was not plowed or salted and it appeared that only one other person had driven that road (thankfully) so I had to drive in tracks of that poor unfortunate. Hoping against hope that he at least made it as far as my house. The trees were so heavy with snow that they were laying across the road, leaving just enough room for my car to get through.

I know what you are thinking. "What the hell was she thinking?" Believe me I was asking myself the same thing as my battery was starting to go dead.

Luckily I did make it home and the car died in the driveway. My brother had to drive me into work tonight. I will not try that treck again in the nighttime. I will stay in town tonight.

Don't ya just love winter?

No longer homeless.....and this time I really mean it......I hope.

The boy and I (and sister) went to see the house today. We love it. Ok, I love it and sister loves it but the boy could care less.

It has a fireplace (that works) and a cast iron tub. You know, the kind with feet? The kind of tub us fat chicks can actually get wet in.

Sounded too good to be true. I, of course, told her I would get back to her later in the evening or tomorrow. We go outside, I ask my sister, "What do you really think?"

"I love it, I think you should go for it."

So, later I stew over it, and my sister-in-law says, "Go for it, it might turn out alright, and if it doesn't it doesn't." Hmmmmm, wise words, what is the worst that could happen?

So, I call the lady back, "I am going to go for it."

Well, she surprised me then. The woman wants to bend over backwards to sell me this house. She is calling her bank and seeing what we can work out. She says whatever she owes on the house is what I will pay, she is even going to come down on the rent. As long as she breaks even she is fine with it. She has already told her daughter to be out by December first. "I think you are in the same boat as my daughter was and I feel that no matter what it takes I want you to have this house."

I hope she is not blowing smoke up my ass. But we are meeting tomorrow, after she speaks with her banker, and finalizing things.

I will be in my own place for Christmas. Ye haw!

And another thing...

I can't believe I didn't post anything on my birthday (Nov 3rd). I am 39, holy shit, did I say that? I had a good one, among other little gifts, the security guard at work gave me a racey card and a toonie to get a coffee at Tim's. Gotta love it.

Gotta see a man woman about a horse house.

Meeting a woman tomorrow about the possibility of renting to own her house. Not sure if I can swing the $675/mo that she is looking for but it might be possible if I can convince my sister to come with me. It is 3 bedrooms really close to work so even if she won't consider it, I could take in a border from work.

She explained that after a year of renting, if I still wanted to buy, she would put all the monies she collected for rent against the down payment. Also there is the possibility of getting 100% financing from CMHC, I may look into that as well. I am just so tired of renting with nothing to show for it. This just might be the thing, I have a semi-good feeling about it.

Wish me luck.

Overheard.

Was talking to the boy on the phone and heard his father in the background.

"I can't stand this, I can't wait till he moves out and things are back to normal."

I know what you're thinking ladies, 'she let that prince slip through her fingers?'

I need to find an apartment fast.

From bad to worse.

Last week I had an apartment, for about 2 days. The landlord called and told me it was mine if I wanted it. It was on the same street as my old place, perfect I thought. Mind you it was for a lot more money but it was 3 bedrooms. Then the landlord's wife called me two days later to say she couldn't rent from me. She gave some lame excuse about me not leaving the place clean. I explained to her that the old landlord knew two months before that he was selling the place and at that time he had had a dumpster blocking my driveway for 3 months. He could have told me then and I wouldn't have had to leave so much junk behind, I could have thrown it out then. I also explained that the junk was neatly piled in the basement. It was hard to argue with and I knew there was something else she was wanting to say, then she comes out with.

"We have heard there has been problems with your son." WTF?

"My landlord told you that?"

"No, he said you paid your rent on time and that you were a good tenant, but we hear this from other people."

"What other people, what did they say? I have never had trouble with my son."

"I don't think we should discuss it."

What was going through my head was that I would like to argue with her a bit,then rip her head off and shit in her neck. Then I realized that she also lived in the building and I knew I didn't want to live there so all I said was, "Fine then, go fuck yourself." It was the only neighborly thing to do.

But I have to find a place soon. My son is absolutely miserable living with his father. I have to tell you what the asshole said, loud enough for me to hear through the phone. I was talking to the boy and heard his father talking to his girlfriend in the background, "I can't stand this, I can't wait till he moves out so things can get back to normal." Nice. What a prince. Hard to believe I kicked that one to the curb, eh?

All I could think of was, if I had killed him when I first wanted to, I would be out of jail by now.

The cat came back the very next day!

When I moved at the first of the month I found places for most of my cats, except for one. The crazy cat my mother saddled me with. I figured I could leave it behind for a bit since it wasn't an inside cat. The neigbor was feeding it and last week I finally found a barn for it. This is the cat that shits in the food dish if he can't manager to finish the food in one sitting. He is only fit for a barn.

Anyway, I get this stupid thing in a carrier and off we go to the barn. That was a week ago, last night, the old next door neighbor calls me. The cat came back she says, "I don't know how far he traveled but he is back."

Fuck me! This cat is going to be the death of me. Now I am having nothing but cat problems. The white cat, Luci, who is staying with my cousin refuses to go into the house. She will sit at the door and meow to get in, yet once the door is opened she refuses to cross the threshold. Oscar, the boy who had babies is MIA. My brother called and said he/she has been gone for 2 days. I guess I am just not meant to have cats, well, not cats I want at any rate.

Well it is super slow at work, but I can't afford to go home early. I have to find an apartment soon.

Country living bites!

Still not dead!

Just hybernating. I am sitting here at work, furtive glances over my shoulder, since it is not permitted to blog from work. Pretty slow here tonight. Not sure if I should try and recap all that went on since I moved out, or just go on from here,and post all that other shit later. Hmmmmm?

How about if I just grab the highlights and fill it in later when I am back online.

Camper living is ok, the boy got tired of it pretty quick, he only stayed the first weekend. It is getting a bit cold, but I bought a heater and all is well. I think I will have to actually look for an apartment soon. I am getting a lot of reading done, it is very quiet and peaceful. I barely turn the computer on anymore. I have a new toy, a Palm pilot, quite retro!

The country is nice but I am starting to get a little sick of it. And so is my sister, looks like I may be taking her with me when I go. She is secretly packing her shit. We went looking at houses today, she is definately not kidding around this time, at least I hope she isn't.

Well I think I have pressed my luck enough for one night. Hope you are all doing well, since I can't surf the net at home or at work.

Goodbye cruel world.

Ok, so here I sit. Another night in an almost empty apartment. I would have gone down to my sisters but the chair is still here thus, so am I. We started moving today and were about to drag the chair out when it began raining cats and dogs. So I get one more day with the internet. One more night to down load a few more movies and TV shows. One more day in the 21st century and then it is a couple months living in the boonies with dialup access. SHIT!

Anyway, Oscar and Boogers are at my brothers so Luci has decided that she will now enter the house. She has been totally freaked out since Oscar had babies and has been avoiding this place like the plague. A half hour after the cats were gone, she was lounging in the middle of the living room, looking very relieved. We will see how she feels once we stuff her in a box to take over to Sonny's. I can pretty much guarantee she will be pissed.

So, this is the last regular post for the blog. I will have to fight my sisters teenage son for internet access. Not that any of you will notice if the commenting is any indication I will probably be back before any of you realize I am gone.

Before I sign off, I still have quite a few GMAIL invitations if anyone is interested just email me.

All ashore who's going ashore.

First day of real moving activity. For the last month I have been packing and sorting and mostly throwing things out. I have gone through about 40 garbage bags.

You know, you don't realize how much 'junk' you accumulate until its time to move it. Things you thought you just had to keep become less desirable in the face of finding a box that it will fit in.

My brother came with his truck today and his bum leg and helped Kimmy and I move some of the larger stuff. Kimmy, I have found is a work horse. I have been packing and mostly tripping over boxes for a month, and an hour after Kimmy showed up the kitchen was cleaned and the boxes neatly packed in one corner. She had my kitchen table apart and everything standing at attention waiting to be marched out the door and onto the truck. I had to act quickly a couple of times to save all my clothes from ending up in storage. She was unstoppable. I was in awe. I really couldn't have gotten this far without her.

In other news, the boy's father refuses to take in the boy's cat. Even after I told him that if he didn't I would have to have it put down. Not even for a month, not even for his son. Asshole.

My cousin, Sonny, will take care of Luci, my older cat, till I find a place. The crazy one (my mothers cat) is on its way to a barn near you. But my sons cat? Well I told my brother about Oscar's situation and he offered to take care of him till we find a place.

This is also the brother that paid for the boy to go to hockey last year. For being such a pain in the butt little kid, my brother has turned into a pretty decent adult. And on his way out the door he says, "If you got a litter box, I'll take that one too." (pointing to Boogers) Sigh of relief.

So here we sit, Boogers and I, in the last remaining chair (sans cushions), with my computer in front of it on a TV stand. I should be down at my sisters but I am clinging to the internet for as long as I can. Stockpiling movies and TV shows to watch in the camper.

Looks like I will be sleeping in this chair tonight, but thank God I stopped Kimmy just in time before she loaded all the blankets and pillows into the truck.

Everyone has a right to my opinion.

Where to start? A lot has happened as far as work is concerned. Finally had it out with my TM. He failed me on a call coach. I never fail call coaches.

It was for an OS password. I told her that for security reasons we do not break, bypass or work around passwords. We could only help her reinstall and she would lose all data on the machine. He failed me for telling her she would lose her data. He asked a tech if the password could be broken and they said yes. However, whether they can do it or not is irrelevant, we are not supposed to do it, and any recovery of the data on that machine constitutes breaking the password. I fought it, I sent it to every TM in the joint and to the MO and I, of course, won. He changed it.

When I got back in the next day he brought me into the huddle room and we had it out. There was absolutely no diplomacy on my part, I am not one to hold back. I asked him if he had a problem with me to just spit it out. Don't hold back and I wouldn't either. An hour later we emerged. I think we are starting to see eye to eye.

So, tonight the MO comes over and asks to speak with me. We get into his office and he says, "Do you smoke?"

"Yes"

"Then what the hell are we doing here? Lets go for a smoke." As we are walking out people are staring, I say, "Hey why don't you swipe me out and I will tell everyone you fired me."

"Not funny." But he is laughing. We get outside and light up.

"I just wanted to get your take on how things are going. How the new TM's are shaping up."

"And your asking me?" The man is brave, hope he isn't looking for sugar coating.

"I ask you cuz I know you don't give a shit about hurting my feelings. You will just tell me how it is." apparently not looking for the sweetened or condensed version.

So I let him have it, everything that everyone was complaining about. The Q management, he said he would have a meeting with all TM's to make sure they truly understand the concept. Stupid things in the coaching tool that bring down our score, scripting problems,(he is working with the client to change this) lack of staffing on the evening and weekend shifts. Anything and everything I could think of. He barely got a word in.

All in all it was a very good 'meeting' I think we will see some changes for the better. The MO is a good guy, I like him. And I know you are saying, "It's a good thing for him that she does."

HEY! I am a nice person. But if I don't like where you got it, I can tell you where to put it.

This is what I have to deal with.

I spoke to the boy's father today, always a treat. Told him I was starting to move things into storage because I wasn't finding a place. At the end of the conversation (believe me I make them as short as humanly possible) he says, "So, how much are you going to pay me? 100 dollars a week?" (referring to the amount of child support he currently pays) WTF?

I lose it, "What exactly is your fucking problem?"

"This has nothing to do with whether the boy comes to stay, but you will pay." Then he hangs up. That sounds like an ominous statement if you don't know the boy's half-wit, socially retarded father. He is a complete and utter moron.

First of all, in order to get child support out of me he would have to take me to court. This from a guy that wouldn't go into a bank to sign his own mortgage papers. There is no fear of court proceedings.

I am not paying that asshole one red cent. In thirteen years I can count on one hand how many times the boy has stayed overnight at his place. He has nickel'ed and dime'd me every step of the way. Oh, he paid his $100/week but not a cent more without an all out war. Even something as stupid as 20 bucks for school photos? He refused, well not exactly, he gave me the money and took it off the child support. (although still taking credit for paying for the photos) I just wish he would get over himself. We have been apart for thirteen years and he still acts like I punched him in the face yesterday.

I always try to have civil conversations with him to no avail. I could care less if he lived or died,(although I would prefer die) but I try for the boy's sake. Everything is a battle with him, last year he even refused to pay to put the boy in hockey, my brothers had to do it. (this year he agreed to half, exactly $187.50 and yes, he expected the change) He really doesn't get it. All he cares about is fucking me over, not realizing that he is doing it to his own son. I guess he figured out that it was the only way to get to me, since I could care less if I ever laid eyes on him for the rest of my life. He continues to break my heart by doing these things that make my son feel like his father doesn't even like him. I try to tell him that it is not because of him, that his father just does these things to hurt me. But even the boy can't make sense of that, so of course he won't believe me. And you can't blame him really, does it make sense to any of you?

Every day his father reminds me of what a favor I did for the boy and myself when I left him. I just wish I had left sooner so the boy wouldn't be saddled with such a mentally unstable person for a father. I really can't understand why he has held onto this for so long. Honestly, all I did to him was leave. That's it. And considering the shit he put me through I can't imagine he was surprised.

Every time I see him, all I can think is, 'I can't believe I slept with that fucktard!'

13 Days and counting.

Up bright and early today to get the boy off to school. I usually go right back to bed but today I am wired. I sent an email to MO last night to complain about the TM's management of our Q, so I am interested to hear what he has to say about it.

Still up to my eyeballs in boxes, and one kitten down.



This one should go today. A guy at work wants him/her? Well, you all know how good I am at determining the sex of a cat.

The boy still holds hope that his father will let him take one of the kittens as well as his cat with him when he goes to stay with him.



I hope so too, every time we discuss someone taking Boogers, he gets all choked up. No idea why, but he has bonded with that one.

If worse comes to worse, we can just tell the boy's father the cat is coming and to deal with it. Hope it works.

Anyway, wanted to mention to anyone that does not have a G.ma.il account yet. I have a few invitations, email me and I will send ya one.

Must get back to packing.

Deep breath.

I know, I know, I am getting slack with the blog entries but there just isn't enough hours in the day to get everything done. Bit by bit I am packing this dump up but it is going to get worse before it gets better. It's an obstacle course around here, boxes everywhere. I can't get the storage place till the 20th so I am stacking them as best I can. Can't wait till this is over.

Had a team meeting with the new TM and vented for a half an hour. Think he may be seeing things my way. I am not the type who stews in silence. Surprising as that might sound. But if people don't know they are pissing you off, then they will continue to piss you off. Might as well get it off your chest. Then if they are still pissing you off, at least you know its intentional.

I tried to drill it into his head that if he doesn't know how to do something, then ask someone, and keep asking till you find out. Don't stumble around and hope you get it right. I don't want him to fail, I want him to get up to speed as quickly as possible. The sooner he does the better off we will all be. I even spoke to a couple of other TM's and brow-beat them into offering some assistance. They know what it was like to learn all this shit, they should be ashamed that they are just letting him swing in the breeze. (the 'you should be ashamed' thing hit the spot)

What else. Oh, we had a regular TM (as opposed to a pro TM) Managing the Q on Sat night. Wait, this might get complicated if you don't know how my job works. Let me give a little bit of insight.

We are paid for a service level of 85%, anything above, we don't get paid, anything below and we get penalized. If we are in Q (meaning a shitload of people are waiting on hold) then depending on how deep we go, our service level goes down. If we have no Q and are sitting around doing nothing (BTW my dream job) then our service level goes up, meaning we are available for calls, it rings twice and there we are. Then too, if we are sitting around doing nothing for too long, the service level goes down. (hope you sort of get the picture) So, when we are not in Q and our service level is good, we can afford to jump into Super Q (mixture of cc and pro) or PPA (internal) Q and help them without hurting ourselves.

Anyway, the cc TM takes us all out of pro and puts us in PPA, to purposely drive down our service level, which in my opinion is unethical, it is essentially cooking the books. But try and explain that to him? You see the higher ups just tell the TM's to manage the Q and assume they know what that means. Some of them do not. So, we have Professional customers calling in and hearing nothing but hold music on a Sat. night, they are not impressed.

Then there is the 'customer satisfaction' (CSAT) element. People are routinely surveyed and asked about their overall satisfaction with the service. Well if you are a professional and are calling on a Sat night because your entire network is down and you have to wait on hold just to reach a customer service representative, how do you think you would answer those surveys? Favorably? I think not. If we hit our CSAT goal each month we get a bonus.

There is a balance, and someone needs to get all the TM's on the same page. This is fucking with my bonus and I am not impressed.

I am ranting now, so I think I will post.

How will I occupy my time?

Called around to find out the prices for storage in the area and found a decent place close by for $60/mon. Not bad for a 9 x 12 unit, I pick up the keys on Thursday and will start to slowly fill it up.

The boy had a great first day, he likes the school and the teachers and there are some friends from baseball in his class. After school we went to check out my new digs, and I found out I will only be able to stay in it a month before it heads for storage. That's cool, by then it will be too cold to be in a motor home anyway.

Another distressing thought, I will be without internet for that time. What will I do? Culture shock. I will still be able to post to the blog from various places, but I'm not sure if I will be able to handle going cold turkey. It will be hard late at night (my preferred surf time) but I am stockpiling movies for the boredom. Anything you want to contribute, Grog? Maybe some PC games? I will have to try and figure out who I lent the Sims to.

I will have to break the 'no internet usage' rule at work so I can read my daily's.

Oh, and I am buying Forest's Palm Pilot, my birthday gift to myself. I always wanted one and he has had one just laying around, so, done deal. Now, all I need to fill out my geek gear is a laptop. I was thinking if I went laptop I would try an Apple. Just for something different. I have never laid eyes on one before and I keep seeing them for sale in the paper.

Just one of those things I always wanted to try. I have a feeling I will be doing a lot of that in the coming months. Here's hoping.

And he's off!

First day of school, 2004. Head to toe in sk8tr gear, the boy is stylin'. A walking advertisement, every teenagers dream.

On the road....again.

The landlord came to pick up the rent and informed me that he has sold the house. He needs me out by the end of the month. WTF? I freak out for a day or so, I could fight it, he really has to give me three months. How will I find a suitable apartment in 30 days?

Then it hit me. Why am I stressing? I can send the boy to live with his father, put my stuff in storage and stay with friends. Save some money, get caught up on some things and take my time to find the right place. Sounds like a plan. I will live with Kimmy. Settled.

Ok, not. I talk to my sister. "You don't want to do that. Come out here and you can stay in the camper." She calls it a camper, how cute. When it is a motor home, central vacuum, full bath. When my sister 'camps' she is definitely not roughing it. I like this idea because of my strange work hours, it would be easier and I won't be bothering anyone.

She is excited and every so often in the conversation she interjects with, "You do realize that you will be FREE?!"

"Ya, but I am trying not to let the boy see how excited I am." This is going to be fun.

Give me strength.

Last night our new TM (you know, the one that was clearly more qualified than me?)'accidentally' deleted the go-home-early list from the exchange public folders. Ok, anyone can make a mistake, right?

Tonight, he is in charge. Alone. I am a little uneasy, but who knows, he may pull it off. There are 5 of us scheduled for 5-1. We do not put our name on the go-home-early list because, well, there are 5 of us. We ain't goin' anywhere. Or so I thought.

Now, remember, since last night the go-home-early list does not exist on the server so you would have to actually put pen to paper. For shits and giggles two people apparently put their names on it. Just around 10 we are experiencing high call volumes, well for us, and I hit the button to see what's going on.

Two agents online. WTF?

ME: "Why are there only 2 of us on the phones? We are in Q."
TM: "Forest is on break."
ME: "And? Shouldn't there be more than 3?"
TM: "Oh, I let two go home."
ME: "YOU DID WHAT?"
TM: "I didn't check what time they were off and let them go." He has a big 'my bad' grin on his face, which really isn't endearing at this point.
ME: "Fine, then get your ass on the phones, we are in Q" He thinks I am joking. I am not joking.

So we remain in Q, Forest comes back and Enrique goes on break. Still Q ville. I am shooting daggers through TM. So finally my break comes up,we are out of Q, I don't even wait for Enrique to come back. I am pounding out my code into the time keeping system and hear.

TM: "I should take my 2 hours on the phones now." (TM's have to do 2 hours or 5 calls) "But I don't think I will get 5 calls, they are out of Q."
ME: "You could have 5 minutes ago, but no point in that, since then you might have actually helped us out. Wouldn't want that to happen now would we?" I head for break, seething.

When I return, and am once again pounding out my code on the TKS, he says to me, "You don't look very pleased with me." ha ha. I did not find this funny in any way, shape or form.

And I reply with a dirty look, "That's because I AM NOT!"

This guy is new, he should be trying to gain the respect of his team, but he is not even interested in the word. Apparently he spells team with an 'I'.

I think that since he fucked up, he should have stepped up and helped with the Q. But apparently he is not going to do anything unless it benefits him in some way. Thank God, A showed up to visit and I had a chance to cool down.

Later, about an hour before shift end, he asks me to dispatch my cases. What? Technically we are supposed to do that at the end of our shift and not before. But he needs to finish his report otherwise he will have to stay late.

My reply? "Uh, sorry no can do, that would not be procedure." If he wanted my help, he should have helped us earlier.

Tit for tat.

You say 'bitch' like it's a bad thing?

You've all seen that bar at the top of our once immaculate blog templates. Ya, and there is no getting rid of it, I have tried. So, tonight I decided I should see if it is at least useful and started to randomly surf blogs.

I have realized one thing in the past hour. Most blogs are dead fucking boring! Now I could handle boring if at least they would refrain from slaughtering the Queen's English. Please people, there is a spell checker on the dashboard, use it! After you have mastered that, try a little thing called grammar and punctuation. Fascinating things.

Instead of whining that no one reads your blog, investigate the reason. And because, as you know, it's all about me. I give you.

Top Ten Reasons I Won't Read Your Blog:

10. People who try to be deep and artsy, put me to sleep.
9. Politics, I am Canadian, I don't do politics.
8. Donation buttons. Get a job.
7. Dark freaky background and white text. Nuf said.
6. Anime makes me physically ill.
5. Animated gif's make me sea sick.
4. Your You're boring. I don't care what you ate today, unless it got you admitted to emergency.
3. Most people like to take a breath every once in a while, so for God's sake, punctuate.
2. If your life is so bad, why not just change it and quit torturing the rest of us with your whine and cheese party.

And the number one reason I will not read your blog.....

1. U kant speel.

You say 'bitch' like it's a bad thing?

UPDATE

Guess I should be more clear, I am not looking for perfection. But some of the blogs were physically painful to read. Some of them went on forever with absolutely no punctuation, spell check or grammar of any kind. If you make it difficult to read, no one will read it.

It's that simple.

Another prequel disaster.

I watched Exorcist the Beginning today with the boy. He wanted to watch in the daytime because I told him how terrifying the original Exorcist had been.

Well, we could have watched this slop in a haunted house, it fell flat. Not really sure where they went wrong, I guess if I hadn't seen the exorcist and known it, I wouldn't have gotten most of the plot. I think brand new viewers would be lost.


REVIEWS:

"Exorcist: The Beginning" isn't a bad movie, it is just not a very good one. I give it a C+. by Robin Clifford (robin AT reelingreviews DOT com) Full Review

Almost entirely incomprehensible, Exorcist: The Beginning not only foregoes the straight-ahead, propulsive narrative minimalism of the first movie but also the creepy genius of its quiet, upper-middle class setting. by GEOFF PEVERE
MOVIE CRITIC, Toronto Star. Full Review

But don't take their word for it, see more reviews here. There seems to be a consensus. I was totally disappointed by it, and was so glad I downloaded it instead of paying good money to go the theatre.

The problem with this movie I think is that they don't focus on the religious aspect of the plot, which is what really gets ya, and I don't care what religion you are. I remember grabbing the bible afterwards and reading revelations. It made you think that their may be some truth to it, that is what makes it so scary.

My advice is rent the original and if you like it, move on to the Omen. Another really good nail biter movie.

Murderous intent.

A little background.

CC is a large group consisting of hundreds of agents in multiple locations across the globe. But Pro is a small group, around 80 (at our location), in two locations. Our location covers is 9am - 1am and the other is 24hrs so they cover us from 1am - 9am. Even smaller is the group that works my shift which is 5pm - 1am. On the weekend there is, at most, 6 people working in Pro. Last night it was 5 and one of those was off at 11, so essentially 4 of us till 1am.

Since the last shift preferencing, the team working the weekends has changed. With the old team, we would coordinate our own breaks and lunches as to not leave one poor soul on the phones to take all the calls. Now mind you it is slow on the weekends, but we do take calls. This 'new' group does not have the same work ethic or professionalism. One twit in particular I will showcase here.

During lunch, I ask the twit when her lunch is, she says 8:30 so I say, fine I will take mine at 8. My last break is at 10:30 but we are taking calls so I wait a bit so we are out of Q before I go. It's 10:45. I walk out and light a smoke, behind me comes Forest, another agent. Still fine, that means 3 on the phone, they can handle it for 15 minutes. I sit down, and I see the Twit walking through the break room, she comes outside and I look at her like she has three heads. "What are you doing?"

She gives me this stunned look and says, "It's my scheduled break." FUCK ME! That means there are two people on the phones, Bali and one of the newbies, J.

I shake my head and throw my cigarette in the ashtray and rush back. I get back to the phones and we are 7 in Q. Forest cuts his break short as well and heads back early to help. The twit comes back in, because she is left all alone outside and sits at her desk. We are still in Q and she just sits there. I shoot her a couple of dirty looks but she is that much of a moron, she doesn't get it. Anyone looking at me at this point would know I was steaming mad, but not this crayon.

Finally we are out of Q, I wait a few more minutes just to make sure and sign off my phone. As I sign out (again) for my break she comments in a cartoon, snow white voice. "Break time!" What the fuck did you think I was on before Twit! As I am banging out my code in the time keeper machine, the lone Team Manager calls me over. He realizes that I am fuming mad and asks if I am upset with him.

"No, I just have to get out of a job where I have to work with children." I explain to him what happened, and go for my break.

When I came back I planned to talk to the new team and explain to them that it was unprofessional to just take breaks, even if they were scheduled, if it would leave less than half the group on the phone. I wanted to express the need for teamwork when the team was so small. But I couldn't calm down enough. Even as I write this I want to strangle the Twit.

So I try to ignore her. She is having none of it. She keeps letting out these deep, heavy sighs that say, 'I'm bored, talk to me.' No fucking way, Twit, if I talk to you now I will grab you by the throat and squeeze the life out of you. I spend the rest of the night ignoring her, pretending I am talking on messenger and deep in conversation, all the while I was really typing gibberish in notepad.

Give me strength.

Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

"Thank you for calling the Undisclosed Customer Service Center? my name is blah blah blah... Continuing case? Great, I am just going to check the hold time in that Q for ya. It looks like about 45 minutes"

"What? The last girl told me an hour and that was an hour ago."

"Ok, and now it's 45 minutes, it gets better as the night progresses."

"But she told me an hour so I called back, now you are telling me I have to wait another 45 minutes?"

I don't think this crayon gets the concept of HOLD. Average HOLD time means you have to actually BE on hold. I explain this to her.

"When she said the HOLD time was one hour, you would have had to be ON hold and you would have gotten a tech in an hour. That's what hold means."

"I wish she had of explained that to me."

"Well maybe she thought it was self explanatory?"

I think the moment that their brain catches up with them, they realize they are moronic and then turn around and take it out on you.

"Bitch!"

< CLICK >

I now know the reason they have to put 'lather, rinse, repeat' on shampoo bottles.

Someone's knocking and it ain't opportunity.

My yearly bout of cleaning frenzy was interrupted tonight by a knock on the door. The kind that every parent dreams of. I open the door and this guy says, "Are you so-and-so's mother?"

Lovely, "What did he do?"

"Well he didn't do anything, but his buddy busted my tail light." That's just great. I knew in an instant who he was referring to and I am not surprised.

Last night I dropped the boy off at his friends house and he told me he was going to another friends. I ask him who and he tells me, "Buddy"

"Buddy who?"

"Buddy Boy."

"The same Buddy Boy who tore the cable off the side of our house last summer?" This kid is trouble, always been in trouble, for the stupidest things this kid gets in trouble.

"Ya, but he's not like that anymore, Mom. He's trying to get his life together." Always willing to give the benefit of the doubt, I say, "Fine, but if you get in trouble I am not coming for you, I will send your father." He assures me they are just going to play PS2.

So, back to the guy at my door. I tell him, "I know exactly who did this, it was Buddy Boy. Talk to the police, they know him." Even though this guy knows that my boy didn't do this, I tell him that we will pay for half the tail light.

Later when the boy comes home, I tell him this and he goes ballistic. Why should he have to pay when he didn't do anything. I explain to him that sometimes you have to pay for the bad choices you make in life. This time it was hanging with at kid that gets into trouble at the drop of a hat. I told him, "Just be thankful that the kid hadn't decided to burn someone's house down while you were with him."

The boy is more upset that he can't hang with this kid, he says he is nice, and they have fun playing PS2 and just hanging. But this kid is not wired right. He has more problems than anyone knows.

What kind of person just walks down the street and decides at random to bust someone's tail light? For someone who is 'trying to get his life together' he sure has a funny way of showing it.

Zoo Tycoon.

Went out last night to a friends house to pick up a couple gerbils. I missed having them and she keeps a shitload to feed her snake, so she gave me a couple. She also has, in a separate tank, mice, lots and lots of mice.

I approach the tanks and am slightly amused to see hamster wheels. Ok, this is a staple of any good rodent cage, but it seems kinda sadistic here. After all, these are not pets, they are food. I stick my hand in the tank and a dozen of the more stupid gerbils approach my hand and try and climb up.

I shouldn't say stupid, because the appearance of the 'big giant hand' could mean food or it could mean someone is going on a long trip that they shan't return from. And I suppose no one has ever returned to tell of the horrors of being eaten by a snake.

I pick a couple of small black ones, Jay and SilentBob. These two don't know it yet, but I just saved their lives.

I then direct my attention to a smaller tank with the mice, again with a hamster wheel. As I am oooing and awwwing over the cute little things, face to the glass, one of them turns and HOLY SHIT! That one is a boy!

Just a tip, if you are wondering if the mice in the pet store are boys or girls, wonder no longer. I am here to say that you cannot mistake a girl for a boy in the mouse world. This thing had balls. Huge balls, gigantic, drag on the ground, hairless balls.

Picture if you will, a tiny mouse the size of your thumb. Cute eh? Now put human balls hanging off it, the size of two plump peas. I wish I had a picture, because my discription really doesn't do it justice. I am completely traumatized.

I think she probably just drowns the boy mice, cuz ya just know the snake would gag on those puppies. You thought German Shepherds were bad? They got nothing on mice.

Am I part of some sort of sleep deprivation experiment?

I woke up this morning to the sounds of the girl upstairs moving out. Just when I thought I might be able to sleep in (no construction) she backs a truck up to my bedroom window. JESUS!I live in a duplex, I live down and she lives up. My bedroom window is right next to her entry door.

It was an ideal arrangement because she had 3 jobs so she was never here. That was good for me because she was never around to complain when the boy made too much noise.

This is upsetting, I may have to become a good neighbor. That sucks on so many levels. I am a good neighbor, but the boy is not. Which means, I will be the one to suffer.

It is interesting that the landlord didn't mention this to me since we usually chat for a while when he comes for the rent. Perhaps it was a spur of the moment thing. Will have to ask him.

Anyway, finally had to get my ass out of bed, couldn't stand the commotion any longer. This will probably go on for a few days and then I can look forward to the next ones moving in.

No rest for the wicked.

Hmmm.

I can't believe no one posted on the whole 'David Copperfield being Jesus' thing.

Interesting.

Six of one, half dozen of the other.

Capital one called me today, I was wondering why because I had been talking to one of them a few weeks ago and we made arrangements for me to pay $50 every two weeks to get the balance down.

So this guy calls today. Just to set it up, before his call I would be paying $100 by Sept 9th. That's two payments. So he calls up telling me he wants to set up payments. I told him I was already talking to a guy (Sam) and we had already done that. He tells me that Sam was in a different department and that my file was sent to his department now and we had to make other arrangements. WTF? Ok, so why did the other guy give me payment arrangements only to pass me off to another department to do the whole thing over again.

Fine, lets make arrangements again. I told this guy (BTW his name is Emron, what is up with that?) that Sam and I made arrangements for $50 per pay.

"But this is no good, we need $105 by Sept 5th in order to get the account up to date." I told him the 5th was no good cuz I don't get paid till the 9th. He says "Ok, by the 9th then."

"Great, then its a deal, are we done?"

"So, can you pay $70 right now?"

"What happened to $105 on the 9th?" It was like, if you agree to something, they don't hear you, so they go for a different number.

"We need $70 by the 26th."

"Then why didn't you say that before, we already agreed that you would get $105 on the 9th, you want $70 more right now?"

"No, 70 now and 35 on the 9th."

Ok, this is getting long and drawn out, I will cut it short, it goes on for 15 minutes. Finally I say ok, whatever you want.

"I am just curious. Do you realize you just irritated the hell out of a customer for 5 extra bucks? Sound good to you? I am hanging up now before you ask for a 60/40 split." He was stunned and I hung up.

What we have here is a failure to communicate.

Again I say, Thank God for Americans.

For without them, I have no job.

"Thank you for calling the Undisclosed Customer Service Center™ my name is blah blah blah...Can I have your first and last name please?"

"Uh, I just have a simple question." He probably means moronic, that's why he doesn't want to give his name.

"Well I am not a technician..." They don't get this statement, and usually just keep on talking.

"I just installed a sound card." And he does not disappoint. "Do I still need speakers, or will the sound come out of the card?"

There are no simple questions, only simple people.

I'm up! I'm up!

Ok, I like Jesus as much as the next guy, but why the hell does he need bells? I mean come on! I don't even think they had bells back in the day and I am pretty sure if you asked him now he would say, "Ixnay ethay uckinfay ellsbay." at least until after, let's say, noon? Ok, so Jesus wouldn't use pig Latin but I don't know real Latin so it will have to do.

So, since I was so rudely awakened, I set off for coffee. The rude bell ringers are lining my street, making it difficult to maneuver. They park like idiots, I supposed putting faith in God that us heathens won't sideswipe them cuz they are parked half-ass crooked with their front end jutting into the street. I finally get out of my driveway without scraping paint and I see a bumper sticker on one of the bell ringers cars - CHRIST WILL COME AGAIN. Holy shit, I hope not.

Can you imagine if he did? Good lord, he would have to play it a lot different this time. None of this loaves and fishes crap, he would have to show some serious destructive power or he would simply be mugged in the street or locked away in the loonie bin. He really wouldn't stand a chance in this day and age. And his dad would then have to destroy the planet, cuz his kid didn't even get the chance to turn some water into wine.

In fact he probably wouldn't even have been born. Virgin birth? Joe of today would not deal with that shit as well. He would snap Mary's neck and be doing 20-life.

He would probably have to sneak Jesus in, forget the star in the east, the prophesies, none of the "I am the son of God" shit. Stay under the radar, but still get some attention. Maybe get the message out subliminally.

Hey! Maybe David Copperfield is Jesus? He does act kinda weird and he flys. If you think about it, it's genius.

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

I was on my way home from a 'friends' house the other night and stopped into work to change the password on my computer since it was about to expire. Someone commented on my wet hair and I told them I had just gotten out of a hot tub.

They gave me this look. "Who's hot tub?"

"Wouldn't you like to know." Again, an incredulous look.

Ok, just because I don't broadcast my sex life, doesn't mean I don't have one. Or several for that matter. I live alone, but I am by no means lonely. I don't date in the sense that I go out to dinner or the movies. I am more of a booty call kinda gal, only I make the call. I have a few 'friends' that I 'visit'. We have fun, we part, simple. Un-complicated.

Once you broadcast it people start in, "Oh, who is he? When can we meet him? What's he like?" Like? I don't know, do you really want the gory details. I don't know what the hell they are like, decent guys I guess. I don't have any deep philosophical conversations with them.

At this point in my life, sex is just sex. When you are young, sex is a part of getting involved with a person. It leads to living together, possible marriage. If your lucky the sex is still good, but most times it is just something to do. It becomes a treat, like watching a good movie or eating out. (no pun intended) I don't feel like going through all the soap opera shit, with having the boyfriend meet the son, having that boyfriend end up being an asshole and starting the whole process over again. It's brain dead, and pointless.

I have done my time, lived with someone for years. Right now sex isn't something I expect once or twice a week, or something I wish would lead to something else, its just sex.

Great sex, mind you. But just sex.

My schedule.

I don't know how I get any sleep at all. They are still doing road construction on our street. After months of this racket they had better be paving that bitch with gold.

Does anyone care that I work nights? NO. What is it with people in general? "Oh, you don't have to work till 5, you can take me for groceries." Ok, you work at 8am? I will call at 4am and ask you to come over and fix my car. What? That's about as crazy as what you are asking of me. I get home at 1am, but I don't go to sleep. I am up till at least 5 or 6, then you call at noon and are surprised that I am still in bed. FUCK OFF!

And another thing...

My days off are Monday and Tuesday. MY days off. My days off. My days off. Are you getting this? They are My days off. The days in which I do not have to work, or anything else for that matter. Once again. MY DAYS OFF! MINE! MINE! MINE! Do not take it upon yourself to schedule me to do something for you. FUCK OFF!

Don't bother calling me just to say hi,(like that ever happens) because I will not ever answer the phone. I am done trying to explain this to people.

Of course this is my fault.

"Thank you for calling Undisclosed Computer Software Company� my name is�blah blah blah Can I have your name and phone number please?�

"Jesus Christ, I was just talking to someone and he hung up on me." Great, a fishwife, she is screaming her head off.

"I'm sorry about that, can I have your name and phone number please?"

"I already gave that, I need Graham back, can I get back to Graham?"

"As soon as you give me your name and phone number I will see what I can do."

I get her info but I have no record of her calling. "You were talking to a support proffesional?"

"Yes he was having me uninstall some software and he hung up on me!"

"Ok, did you get a case number? I am not finding you in my system."

She loses her mind, she didn't get a case number, or an extention number for 'Graham' she wants him back. I try to explain to her that this building alone has over a thousand people in it, finding Graham would be difficult. I ask a few questions to see where she may have gone without a case number. It is very rare that she would talk to a tech without one. Finally I tell her that we will have to start the process over, I appologize but it is the best I can do.

"FINE! But make it quick, I am loosing patience with you fucking people!" Nice, you kiss your mamma with that mouth?
"Can you read to me everything it says on the face of the disc?"

"For distribution with a new PC, for product support contact the manufacturer of the pc..."

"And who is the manufacturer of the PC?"

"YOU ARE!"

"Mamme, we do not manufacture PC's, we are a software company. Who is the manufacturer."

"I TOLD YOU GATEWAY IS THE MANUFACTURER!"

"Ok, but mamme, this is not Gateway. PAUSE FOR EFFECT If you like, I can transfer you to Gateway."

"This is fucking rediculous!" I agree. This woman is giving me attitude because she called the wrong number.

This is what I have to deal with.

The brood.

Pictures of the brood, as promised.

OSCAR MAMMA


This is no tail, the one we thought was a rat. He is so cute, when he feeds he sticks his butt in the air and he looks like a tiny polar bear.


These are the black and white ones, the boy wants to keep one of these. I believe the one wearing lipstick but I can't be sure. I am hoping he gets over it.

Dude looks like a lady. (or is it lady looks like a dude?)

It is 6:45am and my son bursts into my room.

"MOM! Something is crawling under my bed!" WTF? Jesus, I just went to bed 3 hours ago."It's making noises! MOM!" He's totally freaking out.

I race to his room, thinking, what the hell got into the house? As soon as I open the door I see it. A small, wet thing, crawling across the floor. At first I think it is a rat or something and prepare to beat it to death with a shoe. I swing back and am about to bash its brains in when I decide I should probably take a closer look. I flip the light on and then I realize what I am looking at. A small, wet, white kitten.

OK, I sound off! Luci is fixed and the other two are dudes. WFT?

Did one of my cats kidnap a baby? Do I have a degenerate living in my midst? I notice the kitten is on a mission. He is looks like he knows where he is going, he is trying to get back under the bed. Okey Dokey, I pull the bed out only to find Oscar, curled up in a ball with two more kittens.

This is interesting. I look at him, well her I guess now, "Dude! You had babies."

That's when the boy totally freaked out "What are you talking about?"


"Oscar....um...he...she....well it looks like Oscar had babies."

The boy is mortified, "You're lying! Oscar is a boy!" The look on his face is priceless. The laws of nature have been broken and he can't deal.

Oscar is equally freaked out. He She, has no idea what to do. I had to get a box together and lay him her in it so the babies will feed.

What is so freaky is the three babies, look just like the three adult cats we have. One is all white, like Luci. The other two are black and white, like Oscar and Babe.

Hey, wait a minute. You think Babe could be the father? Guess that is possible. Pictures to follow.

UPDATE

I just picked up the white one, and thought there was something odd with him but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Then it hit me, he has no tail. Weirdest thing.

All fun and games till someone snaps your neck.

Our MO (Manager of Operations), lets call him....hmmmmm.... Moe, ya, Moe.

Moe comes up to me when I am on a call and says, "Can I talk to you when your done, Bud?" When he calls me Bud, it can't be good. So when I finish the call I go find him, he is talking to another MO so I wait, and wait, and stew, and wait some more. Finally we start to walk to his office. On the way he says,

"I just wanted to talk to you about PPA." Bane of my existence for over a month.

"Oh kay." I say, very slowly. Where is he going with this?

"We are looking at having an agent full time for PPA that would be a dedicated PPA agent at this site." FUCK ME GENTLY! HE DOES NOT THINK IT WILL BE ME!

My heart is pounding, I am speechless, I try to speak and all that is coming out is a panting sound. Finally I say, "Moe, you do know that I almost lost my mind on that Q?"

"Yah but you did so well............" then he cracks, he is doubled over, "I can't do it, I'm just kidding, TM thought it would be funny, and he was right." He is laughing his ass off.

"Jesus, Moe, I was just about to drag you into that cubicle and snap your neck, don't do that! That is not funny!"

"Yes it is, its the funniest thing I have every seen." Speaking of the look on my face. He falls into his chair, still laughing. I am still trying to get my breathing under control, and plotting my revenge against TM.

Turns out he just wanted my thoughts on how the PPA thing went and info on call times. I go in search of TM. When I find him, "Very funny, Brat! Hope you have eyes in the back of your head."

Your gonna need 'em.

Going to have the bullshit fed back to me.

Haven't posted regularly because it has been so f'ing hot! Jesus, I stay in bed all day with the fan on and can't wait to get to work just for the AC.

I am still trying to get an appointment with HR for feedback on my resume. I have to find out what the hell they want me to say, cuz I sure as hell can't figure it out.

BTW the guy that got the job "owned his own business". That 'business' happened to be pizza delivery, but, hey, that's fine. Now don't get me wrong, he is doing well but any monkey could do the job. That probably explains why they have stuck with this idiotic system for so long. It is not like the TM's have their finger on the button or anything, its not rocket science.

They say that their system is 'fair'. Of course the only people it is fair to is the unqualified people with a flair for bullshit. It really doesn't matter if you are qualified or not, if you can get past the bullshit in HR, your in. It would be more fair if they just put our names in a hat.

One TM got the job by flat out lying on his resume, I know because I got a hold of that resume. Two of the companies he said he worked for didn't even exist, I checked. Apparently HR does not. They use some kind of fucked up point system for grading resumes. I will take notes in feedback and let you know.

This should be interesting.

Never work with animals or children.

Tonight we were severely under staffed at the Undisclosed Customer Service Center�. At 9pm there were three agents online taking pro calls. An older lady (J), me and PatPrick. (no I didn't spell it wrong) We were in Q the entire time, steady. At 11 PatPrick's shift would be over so J and I coordinated our last breaks as to not leave PatPrick to hold down the fort alone.

At 10:55 I am curious as to how high the Q is so I hit the Q button to reveal 5 in Q with 2 AOL (Agents online) WTF? J is on a call, I am signed in, where is PatPrick. Few more minutes tick by and there is PatPrick, punching out.

ME: "I thought you were off at eleven?"
PPrick: "Ya."
I point to my watch.
PP: "Couple minutes, big deal."
ME: "We are in Q." I want to add, asshole, but I don't.
PP: "Well good luck with that ladies."

I give him the finger. How fucking rude, what a prick. Chivalry is officially dead and buried. I am raging. He is lucky that I was on the phone and didn't have anything heavy to drive at him. (I do not throw like a girl.)

I am steaming, I message the only TM on duty. I don't give a shit if this asshole thinks I am a royal bitch, I want the fucker capped. It's called call avoidance, and it's rude.

This is what we get for working with children. J agrees, although I think she was scandalized by my foul language. Couldn't be helped.