Friday, January 22, 2016

What's on your mind? FUCK OFF, ZUCKERBERG!

No, it is NOT life changing!

No, it is NOT brilliant. It will NOT leave you speechless. 

No, it is NOT unbelievable, awe inspiring or genius.

That song was NOT actually written about you.

NOTHING will change the way I feel about brushing my teeth.

If you don't know the origin of your last name by now, you have been living under a rock or you are twelve.

No, it will most likely NOT bring you to tears. And YES you can most certainly believe your eyes.

What this animal does is NOT mind boggling.

What that kid did is NOT going to change the world. He stuck his face in a birthday cake. That does not make him a phenom. 

God does NOT creep Facebook to make sure you are liking and sharing something. It is just not how he rolls.

That cat is NOT a hero for waking you when there was a fire. Had you installed a cat door he would have left you there with not so much as a by-your-leave, and would be watching the bitch burn from the safety of the side walk.

What your dog does when you get home from an extended absence is NOT jaw dropping. He wagged his tail. He does that when you come back from checking the mail or taking a dump.

You don't need to share or like a meme to prove you are NOT in favor of rape,  pedophilia or animal cruelty. I will NOT share it, I do NOT negotiate with terrorists or extortionists. 

You don't have to share and like if you love your children. Try just telling them face to face for fuck sake. Facebook has become one giant chain letter when its not the worlds most read obit page.

What kind of fabric are you? What color dragon are you? What kind of sandwich are you? Bitch, seriously? You are human, get back on the meds.

Even if, by some stretch of the imagination, you actually did have a previous life? I can guarantee that FaceBook was in no way privy to it.

What does your underwear say about you? Nothing, its fuckin' underwear. If you think yours is dissing you behind your back you have bigger problems. Medicate.

Your zodiac sign does NOT determine whether you become an asshole or not. Oh sure, you and approximately 700 million people on the planet born in that month span are having the exact same fuckin' day as you are. Seems totally legit.

Quit whining about getting game requests. If you spent a fraction of the time you waste bitching about game requests and learned how to use Facebook, we would all be better off. I have thousands of 'friends' and get zero game requests. Why? BECAUSE I LEARNED HOW TO USE FACEBOOK!

I get it if you are fat fingered like me trying to use the teeny tiny phone keyboard. However, if you are using a full sized keyboard, there is no excuse for typing ' r u thr?' And stop bitching about grammar Nazis, just stop. How about you stop contributing to the dumbing down of an entire generation who will never even learn to sign their own name?

And another thing... for the love of God and all things holy....resist the urge to blindly share every fucking post you see. 

Betty White is NOT dead. The Germans did NOT just invaded Poland. For fuck sake, get the fuck off facebook, wander into CNN every once in a while or at the very least, pick up a fuckin' book!

Sunday, January 17, 2016

Phone shopping. (aka Dr. Evil accessory shopping)

So, Superstore was a bust. He wanted to bring up my account. "Whoa....don't mess with that account, its grandfathered six ways to Sunday."

Anyway, long story short....too pricey for what they have.

Onward to Staples. They have, like, 5 phones. Girl approaches, I say what is the difference between the Asus ZenFone 2 and the Asus Zenfone 2 Laser. ...She says, "This one has laser?"

I repeated what she said back to her, only with air quotes. She didn't get it. So I said, can I strap it to a shark? Blank stare.

So we put a call in to the geeks in the dungeon. After 10 or 15 minutes, we still can't figure out what the difference is apart from the $100 difference in price.

Dual Sim card slots for both. Neither one of us could figure out what use that would be other than maybe drug dealers can swap out their work sim and still call their mom all on one phone.

So I took the Laser (cheaper of the two) I figure I got 14 days to find out what is so much better than the Laser that costs $100 more.

So, out the door. Phone, sim card (for the extra slot..you know...in case I want to become a drug dealer someday) and a case, under $400 tax in.

Mission accomplished.

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

The other 9 are lying.




Legit.

I live with Assholes.




So, its getting kinda chilly in here. 

I turn up the heat and what do you think the assholes are doing? 

You guessed it, laying on the vents, so no heat gets past them. 

Assholes.

Storm update.

I am completely stocked up and ready for any storm. 

I have scallops cooked.Steak and mushrooms and potatoes, all the fixings to make pizza. Not to mention a backup battery to plug the confection oven into to cook all this shit. Pop, chips, dip, fruit and chocolate ice cream.

This could only mean one thing, there will be no storm.

Your welcome.

Thursday, October 8, 2015

What's keeping me up at night?

The fact that we, the vaping industry, are being treated, classified and regulated in the same way that the tobacco industry is. They are treating us like Coke and Pepsi, when in reality we are more like Oil and Water. I can't even think of anything more completely opposite.

After Bill 60 here in Nova Scotia, we felt like we had a victory. I do not believe that to be true now. Granted, we were not shut down, but now public perception is that we are just another form of smoking tobacco and the media isn't helping when it comes to clearing up that misconception.

The worst thing that could have happened did happen. We got ourselves lumped into the same category as big tobacco. We are NOT tobacco. In fact we are the direct competition to tobacco. And not like Coke vs Pepsi, but more like whale hunters vs Greenpeace, or ??? (I really can't think of anything that is more polar opposite.)

Oh no, they say, you will have your own classification. Yet, there we are in the black and white, in the 'Tobacco' Access Act. This is even after producing evidence that we are in no way a tobacco product. You will get exemptions for vape shops, that was a flat out lie, it was conveniently left out of the final draft of the legislation. Oh, and they also assure us that they will never tax us as tobacco. Ya, after all this? I don't trust that anymore.

How did this happen?

We just were not prepared for the interactions with politicians. We thought that we could win with science and logic on our side. The politicians said all the right things and patted us on the back until we realized that what they were doing was inserting a knife.

Now they have us by the short hairs. We have been inserted into the Tobacco Access Act. Every day when I open the door to the shop, I stare at this.


And every day, I begin a slow burn. I am angered and completely offended by having the word TOBACCO on the door of our shop, in which WE DO NOT SELL TOBACCO!!!!!!!!

The following is the speech I presented to the Law Amendments Committee. Along with lab results of the e-liquid showing no tobacco content. All on public record.

Madam Chair, members of the committee: 
My name is Eva and I am co-owner of the End Vapor Shop in New Glasgow and Truro.

I thank you for allowing me to speak today on the matter of amendments proposed to the smoke free places act. Bill #60. 
Electronic cigarettes must not be defined as a tobacco product because it, quite simply, is NOT a tobacco product and in fact is in direct competition with tobacco. That being said, I submit test results that indicates that the eliquid we and other vendors sell has no tobacco content.  As the bill is presently worded, it is clear that the honorable minister of health is not aware of the obvious distinction between tobacco flavors and flavored tobacco.  
Looking at the list of 4000+ chemicals and known carcinogens in traditional tobacco cigarettes and comparing them with the 4 ingredients in the eliquid (none of which are tobacco by the way)  I personally concluded (albeit, not scientifically) that you really don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure out that this is  safer alternative. But you don’t have to take my word for that, in recent years, there have been an overabundance of scientific research that proves just that. And my business partner will supply you with that information.  
As vendors and a consumers, we welcome sensible regulation of the electronic cigarette industry separate from tobacco. In fact, we already self regulate, in that we refuse to sell to minors. We require proper labeling of the ejuice, child proof bottles, proper safety certifications on all our hardware  and independent lab testing of the liquid by a Health Canada accredited testing facility. I submit also our suggestions on regulating electronic cigarettes as a separate entity from tobacco. 
What I and others object to is electronic cigarettes being labeled as a tobacco product. Aside from the fact there is no tobacco present in the liquid, we view traditional tobacco as a direct competitor to our industry. I personally object to the Honorable minister of health’s attempt to redefine tobacco to include something that is absolutely not a tobacco product.

This is like saying, we will be banning apples and by the way the definition of apples will now be extended to include... staplers. I am thinking Webster’s may take issue with that.  
I am perplexed as to why the Honorable Minister of Health thinks we need anything else besides age restrictions for entry to vape shops. That alone would obviously negate the concern that we would be marketing to children. Now, I am not a drinker so I was aghast to learn that this was not a requirement for the NSLC stores, which openly displays bubblegum flavored vodka and Caramilk cream liquor. (what’s more kid friendly than a chocolate bar?) 
Flavored ejuice is just that...flavored. It consists of propylene glycol (flavorless), vegetable glycerine (flavorless), may or may not contain nicotine (also flavorless) and food grade flavoring. Even tobacco flavored ejuice is just that….tobacco flavored, not flavored tobacco. The distinction must be made and I think this is where the Honorable minister  of health is confused. Take away the flavoring and we are left with flavorless vapor. People don’t even drink flavorless water anymore. 
Vapers may start off with a tobacco flavoring, but most quickly find  the flavor of tobacco objectionable. After all it was never the taste of a cigarette that got us hooked. The majority of our customers are over 40 and enjoy having a variety of flavors available to them.  
Clearly I am not a child. However, I enjoy vaping fruit and candy flavors. Tobacco ‘flavors’ (not to be confused with tobacco that is flavored) in no way appeals to me. Saying that flavors only appeal to children is ludicrous, unless you contend that all Canadians upon reaching the age of 19 exist on cream of wheat and water? I did not think so.  
Removing the flavorings from ejuice will effectively shut down the legitimate industry and send those consumers into either the black market or worse, back to smoking traditional tobacco. Today I can tell you I will never  smoke another tobacco cigarette, as long as this is an available alternative.  
Not letting the public see their choices in delivery systems (which incidentally look nothing like cigarettes) and prohibiting point of sale marketing would be crippling to our business. Again, this is not a cigarette where all you have to do is light the right end and go. People benefit from hands on demonstration of the product and instruction on care, use, proper handling of the device. 
It is distressing to me that our honorable minister of health has brought forth this bill without the slightest understanding as to what this product is or how it works. Please, stop calling it tobacco. There is no more tobacco in this than there is in the coffee you drank this morning. 
All I am asking is that before you jump on to this particular band wagon, you avail yourselves of the research that is available and make an informed decision about the inclusion of electronic cigarettes in Bill No. 60 and the proposed changes to the amendment. Please consider what this will do, not only to the dozen or so strictly vaping businesses in Nova Scotia that will inevitably be shut down, but also how this will affect the thousands of Nova Scotian tax payers that will lose this ability to continue on with this safer alternative to traditional tobacco. 
This bill is old fashioned slight of hand designed to make it impossible for any MLA in the house (regardless of their affiliation) to vote against it. It’s battle cry? THINK OF THE CHILDREN AND GET RID OF FLAVORED TOBACCO ONCE AND FOR ALL! Then in the fine print it exempt the only flavored tobacco that anyone is even aware of. In reality it is a direct shot across the bow of anyone who tries to compete with big tobacco. 
I am NOT a smoker, this is NOT tobacco and must not be lumped into the same category. I suggest that you remove mention of electronic cigarettes from this bill. If the Honorable minister of Health  would like to propose sensible regulation on electronic cigarettes as its own consumer product separate from tobacco, I am sure we would all be open to that. 
The only thing this bill, as presently worded, will accomplish is the destruction of the most effective form of tobacco harm reduction to date and serves only to protect traditional tobacco from its only real competition.

Thank you for your time.
I really thought that I, and the other approximately 50 speakers, got through to them. When the committee sat down for Law Amendments, they had no idea that the bill in front of them was complete and utterly useless.

There was not a single MLA in that building, (and believe me by the end of the day, every single one of them made an appearance at committee) not one of them understood that e-juice contains NO TOBACCO.

Think about that for a minute. 'CONTAINS NO TOBACCO'.

If you could have seen the look on their faces when they realized that. The Liberals especially were embarrassed that they had supported a bill for a ban on tobacco that would have absolutely no effect on tobacco.

Had everyone just sat back, this bill would have been a slam dunk for the Liberal majority government.

Until the legislation (Bill 60) was introduced, I and pretty much everyone I have spoken to was only aware of one flavor of tobacco and that would be menthol. Thanks to the liberal government I (and any kid that watches the news) am now aware of watermelon cigarellos.

Sounds like the LIBERALS are the ones responsible for marketing flavored tobacco to children. Great job!

I could go on forever, but in my opinion, the new fight has to be to get e-cigarettes separated completely from traditional tobacco. Period.

For my own sanity and for the sake of all smokers looking for a better tobacco harm reduction option, I need that sign off the door.

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Trump for President?

At first I thought it was a joke. I don't own a TV so I just go online every once in a while to CNN or something and catch up on all the shit I care nothing about.

So, I see Trump and listen to him go full retard on national TV and think...this is a joke, right? A gag? Punking the nation.

But it keeps on going. Day after day. I opened the page one day and it was a rally with thousands of people holding signs that said Trump for President. 

Shit just got serious. 

They are not seriously going to consider this crayon, are they? I mean, this is mass idiocracy, am I right?

To the moe rons who are thinking of actually voting for this clown.

HAVE YOU LOST YOUR FUCKING MINDS?

No joke. 

Legit question.




Sunday, August 30, 2015

Breastfeeding in public.

First of all, why?

Why do you have to breastfeed in Walmart. I get it, if its a restaurant. But Walmart? Target?

When was the last time you saw a family throw a blanket on the floor in aisle 10 and have lunch?

Think about it.

JUST STOP IT!

All children go through a period of being an asshole. How you handle that period of their life determines if they remain an asshole.

You want to know how to stop the bullying? Take responsibility for your little asshole. There is no way you don't know you are raising an asshole. You live with it. And I don't care how diabolical your little asshole is, he/she cannot switch it on and off. You have witnessed the asshole'ness in your home, and there is no way you think that that is reserved just for you.

You KNOW you are raising an asshole. STOP IT! If you throw your hands up and give up, it is the rest of the world that suffers. 

When the bullying results in harm to another human, I think the parents of that little asshole should be made to pay. Incentive for those parents to actually 'parent' those children.

Keep it up, and when I am Queen I will make you pay.