Saturday, March 5, 2005


SO, the boy has been gone for 3 weeks. I have to ask myself "how do I really feel about that"? Do I miss him? Or do I just miss the little boy that he was.

The kid who would write S-H-M-I-L-Y! (see how much I love you) in the butter and snicker when I found it.
The three year old who would stop what he was doing when 'our song' came on the radio and ask me to dance.
Who would play 'nap monster' with me, a game I devised at 7 in the morning when I wanted to sleep just a little longer.
The kid who loved 'tickle monster' because every single part of his body was ticklish.
The boy who would curl up on the couch with me, look at me all lovey-dovey, blow a big fart and laugh his ass off.
The kid who would learn a song on the guitar and hurry to play it for me.
The kid who wanted me to come to the skate park so I could watch him do his latest trick.

Now, he is a teenager. He doesn't want to talk to me about his day, he doesn't want me to know he has a girlfriend. He doesn't want me to drop him off right in front of the mall. He doesn't want me to kick anyone's ass on his behalf. He doesn't care if I show up at the hockey games. He rarely even calls, unless he wants something.

When did I become someone he endured?

I haven't seen SHMILY! in a long, long time.

No comments: