Monday, September 20, 2004

This is what I have to deal with.

I spoke to the boy's father today, always a treat. Told him I was starting to move things into storage because I wasn't finding a place. At the end of the conversation (believe me I make them as short as humanly possible) he says, "So, how much are you going to pay me? 100 dollars a week?" (referring to the amount of child support he currently pays) WTF?

I lose it, "What exactly is your fucking problem?"

"This has nothing to do with whether the boy comes to stay, but you will pay." Then he hangs up. That sounds like an ominous statement if you don't know the boy's half-wit, socially retarded father. He is a complete and utter moron.

First of all, in order to get child support out of me he would have to take me to court. This from a guy that wouldn't go into a bank to sign his own mortgage papers. There is no fear of court proceedings.

I am not paying that asshole one red cent. In thirteen years I can count on one hand how many times the boy has stayed overnight at his place. He has nickel'ed and dime'd me every step of the way. Oh, he paid his $100/week but not a cent more without an all out war. Even something as stupid as 20 bucks for school photos? He refused, well not exactly, he gave me the money and took it off the child support. (although still taking credit for paying for the photos) I just wish he would get over himself. We have been apart for thirteen years and he still acts like I punched him in the face yesterday.

I always try to have civil conversations with him to no avail. I could care less if he lived or died,(although I would prefer die) but I try for the boy's sake. Everything is a battle with him, last year he even refused to pay to put the boy in hockey, my brothers had to do it. (this year he agreed to half, exactly $187.50 and yes, he expected the change) He really doesn't get it. All he cares about is fucking me over, not realizing that he is doing it to his own son. I guess he figured out that it was the only way to get to me, since I could care less if I ever laid eyes on him for the rest of my life. He continues to break my heart by doing these things that make my son feel like his father doesn't even like him. I try to tell him that it is not because of him, that his father just does these things to hurt me. But even the boy can't make sense of that, so of course he won't believe me. And you can't blame him really, does it make sense to any of you?

Every day his father reminds me of what a favor I did for the boy and myself when I left him. I just wish I had left sooner so the boy wouldn't be saddled with such a mentally unstable person for a father. I really can't understand why he has held onto this for so long. Honestly, all I did to him was leave. That's it. And considering the shit he put me through I can't imagine he was surprised.

Every time I see him, all I can think is, 'I can't believe I slept with that fucktard!'

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