And another thing...

Measure twice, cut once.

My friend Bunnie and I are both uneasy when it comes to going to the dentist. I was prescribed Adavan because I think my dentist was afraid I might bite him or something. This is nothing compared to Bunnie. I won't get into the particulars but yesterday, during her appointment, they had to take her blood pressure three times.

I was not even aware that they knew how to take blood pressure. Probably something they picked up after taking her on as a patient.

Anyway, Bunnie pretty much works herself up all week anticipating this appointment. After the appointment she is frozen up the ying-yang and 'starved to death' (her words) so she heads over to the Dairy Queen. She has a coupon for an Ultimate Burger. Buy one, get one free. Remember, she is frozen on one side of her face. But she believes she can get 'er done.

She pulls up in front of the DQ. Our DQ is bascially all windows in the front. The place is full and every seat has a view. So, Bunnie is sitting out front, parked with her front bumper up against the glass, coupon in hand.

She is about to get out of the car and get her Ultimate Burger when she stops. She has a problem. She is frozen, her lips are frozen, her jaw is frozen. This may cause a problem.

What to do? She wants the Ultimate Burger, but she is not sure she can manage to get her mouth open enough to accomplish the actual eating of said burger. And you don't want to waste money on a burger you can't manage to get into your pie hole, right? Just like you wouldn't buy a sofa that you couldn't fit through your front door.

But Bunnie has a solution. She looks up at the picture of the Ultimate Burger plastered on the window in front of her, fashions her hands in the form that they would take if she indeed had the burger in them and raises it to her mouth.

Now for the truly attractive part of the process. She opens her mouth as if to bite into that imaginary burger. This is when she she realizes that even taking into account the inevitable squishage of the burger, it just won't be possible to get the ultimate today. No matter how hard she tries (and she tries) her mouth will just not open that wide on its own.

With the experiment over, she gets out of the car and goes in and orders a single burger to take home. It was on the drive home that she realizes why everyone in the restaurant was smiling at her.

Crazy people make everyone smile.