Saturday, June 1, 2002


What is it with men?

My son just came into my bedroom to tell me he was going to throw up. What is up with that? Hello? I don't know....go to the bathroom? No. That would be too easy, it is much better to puke on my bedroom rug. (My son is not 2 or 4 he is 12, he is, however, male.)

Ok, now I am screaming...."Get into the bathroom!" He walks to the kitchen and sits down at the table.

"In what universe do you think people puke in the kitchen?"

He gets up and goes to the bathroom.

Finally, he is where he clearly belongs. But testosterone is apparently the hormone that deals with stupidity. He is standing between the sink and the toilette puking on the floor.

At this point I completely lose my mind, "Pick a side, sink or toilette, but for Christ sake pick one!"

Please don't feel sorry for him, we discuss it every time he gets sick. And I even use one syllable words so it gets through the testosterone haze. Puke=Can NOT FLOOR! (And later you will discover the reason for the puking.)

Now I have finally pointed him in the direction of the toilette, and I realize what is confusing him. He also has diarrhea. This night just keeps getting better and better. I pick him up and put him in the tub. Ya gotta love the tub in these situations, it doesn't matter what end its coming out of.

I am the kind of person that if I smell puke, I puke. I have a really short gag reflex. I can barely brush my back teeth. So now I am faced with not just puke, but puke and shit. So, of course I puke.

An hour later, everything is cleaned up, including my son. And he says to me that maybe it was a bad idea to eat the entire tub of Cool Whip.

Ya think?

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