Thursday, July 3, 2008

What do you do?

My friend Bunnie is having a hell of a time with her teenager. I feel bad because I have it so good right now, with The Boy living at his fathers. But even when he was here, he was nowhere near the nightmare her daughter is. In comparison he was a Stepford child. Any horror story you have ever heard about teenagers, Bunnie has lived it.

Don't get me wrong, I like her daughter. I have sat with that kid on a few occasions when she was self destructing. But I am not her mother, so I am not subject to her wrath. A wrath she lets loose on her mother at the drop of a hat.

More recently it has all the indications that it could become violent. Bunnie also has a volatile personality, although as anyone who learns to grow up, she has the wisdom to control herself. But I fear that with her daughter, it may not always be this way. Right now, she walks away whenever she feels it will go too far.

When you look into the face of the child you love, carried for 9 months, nursed through sickness and held so close to your heart. The kid you have made damn sure has wanted for nothing, at your expense. To have that child look at you with venom and say 'go fuck yourself'. How long can you really expect to control the urge to strangle the life out of the little ingrate?

I know, I have been there a few times. Locked myself in the bathroom so as not to drop kick the little bastard into the next world. But The Boy's wrath was sporadic, I could count the times on one hand that I wanted to eject him violently from this world. Bunnie's horror show is more on than off. How do you do it?

When do you say, 'enough is enough'? When do you stop 'doing' for a kid that basically thinks it is her due, and that she should not have to be the least bit appreciative of your effort?

How much abuse should a mother have to take before she can just say enough? At this point I don't think she is doing her daughter any favors. I say, sit her down and calmly say that this is just not working out, she will have to get her own place and move out.

The kid is 18, I say let her go. She has a job, she is clearly not happy living at home. Lets see how she likes the real world.

Good luck, don't forget to write.

1 comment:

Val said...

Hey Eva,

I don't know exactly how much a mother should have to take... but I'm nearly there. I'd planned to support him through college, but he's decided to take a year "off" and work. Hmmm, he's 19 yrs old, says he hates living here, thinks I am always wrong, and any words from my lips are the start of an argument. I'm thinking the real world will be much better for him than living with me. I sure won't miss the foul moods and temper!