And another thing...

Monday, May 7, 2007

The Vonage Experiment.

I tried to cancel my Vonage. Seems like it would be a simple thing, call them up, say 'thanks, but no thanks' and that would be it. Right? No sir, you would be wrong.

My phone was so choppy that it took the guy (never did get a decent pronunciation on his name) 10 minutes to get my account information. Then he has the nerve to ask why I wanted to cancel.

"Uh, well, the voice is choppy, I can't get calls from certain area codes, and it cuts me off the internet at least twice a day."

"I'm sorry, I could not hear you."

"Exactly."

So he tells me that he will transfer me to accounts and billing. I get over there and speak with Marry Ann. I have to give her all the same information, including verify that I am who I say I am. Fifteen minutes later, she asks why I want to cancel.

"Are you kidding? I am calling you from my Vonage phone, how does it sound to you?"

"Oh, ya I guess." She giggles. "Well there will be a fifty dollar disconnection fee."

"Excuse me? You want me to pay you to disconnect a phone that works like this?" I had to repeat that 3 times before she got it all.

"Well, I can send you to tech support and if they can't fix it, they will put a note in the case saying they can't fix it and to waive the diconnection fee."

So off I go to tech support. At least that is where I think I am going. And I get Brenton, I again repeat all the account information to him including verifying my identity. (do any of these people take notes?) And let's not forget the stupid question, how can I help you?

"Uh, I think it's pretty obvious what my problem is."

"I am sorry, I missed that."

"Exactly."

"Well I will get you to a technician who can try and assist you." I thought he was the technician. I am not going to argue with him, I am getting cranky and it is not his fault, he has to follow stupid-ass redundant procedures.

He proceeds to transfer me and hangs up. Nice, just what I need. I have to start all over again.

Twenty minutes later I finally get to the actual technician, Kingston. Kingston, is from, but not necessarily located, across the pond. He also wants to verify all my information and that I am indeed who I claim to be. Who the fuck would go through all this hassle if they weren't a Vonage customer? I have no idea.

At this point I tell him, basically, I know you can't fix this issue, I have tried everything suggested on the website, I just need a note in the case so I can have the fee waived. He wants to try and fix it.

"Let us start by shutting off the computer." I do so. And the line is fine.

"Ok, but not really a solution, Kingston."

"Yes, but now we will find out what program is causing the problem."

"Ok, here is the thing. I know what program is causing it. But shutting down that program is not an option for me."

"But the phone will work..."

"Again, yes it will work if I stop doing what I do 24/7. I understand there is nothing wrong with the Vonage. What I am telling you is that it doesn't work for me."

"But..."

"I didn't say it didn't work, I said it didn't work for me. I don't think I should have to stop what I do in my daily life to accommodate the Vonage phone. It just doesn't work for me. If this does not work well with what I do day-to-day, then I shouldn't have to change my routine to suit the phone. I just need you to put a note in the case so they will waive the fee."

"But it does work."

"But it doesn't work for me." At this point I am willing to pay the fifty bucks just so I don't have to deal with this anymore and I tell him so.

"But I cannot say that it doesn't work, when it does."

"So you are telling me that if I want to use your service, I have to stop everything I am doing. Seems kind of fascist to me."

After going in circles for another half an hour, I agree to let him try something. He compresses my packets....no idea what that means.

"How about this, you put a note in the case that you tried. I will actually try this new setup for a few days, if it doesn't work I will call and cancel."

Honestly, if they want to charge me fifty bucks, so be it. The Vonage experiment is definitely over.

And Another Thing...

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