He knows I would die for him.
Oh, dear Lord!
These will be the death of me. Just when I think I can safely choke down the low fat ice cream bars, I am slapped in the face with these.
Oh, well I can't come home with ice cream for myself and none for The Boy, right?
They are too for The Boy!
Well, of course, being a good parent means tasting their food. You know, just to make sure it is safe.
Safe, ya, that's it I want to make sure it is safe. [chomp]
These things are addictive.[chomp] Little bite sized pieces of chocolate ice cream wrapped in a [chomp] crunchy chocolaty coating. ADDICTIVE I TELL YA![chomp chomp]
I cannot in good conscience subject The Boy to this addiction. He could turn into a couch potato, balloon to 400 pounds, sink into depression, write a manifesto and blow something up. I cannot and will not subject my child to that disastrous future. It just wouldn't be right, right?
[chomp] Don't give me that look. [chomp chomp] I am saving my son, God damn you!
Oh, bite me!