Friday, February 3, 2006

Recycling a great word.

I am returning an MP3 player for warranty. I walk into staples and head to the electronics desk. The ditzy blond at the cash register looks at me and indicates her register. "I can take you here."

"I need electronics, I will wait."

She stands there with a vapid look on her face. "I can take you here."

"You will only have to send me back over here, I need electronics."

It's like I am speaking another language. "I can take you here."

I am clearly not getting through to her, I gather up my stuff that I have laid out for the electronics guy and head over to her register.

"Is this everything?" Is this chick on crack? Is she not seeing the broken MP3 player? Does she think I am planning on buying the clearly old, broken MP3 player?

"Uh, I am returning this for warranty."

"Ok, you will have to take that to electronics."
Why didn't I think of that? Back to electronics I go. The vapid blonde closes her register and moves to electronics.

"Can I help you?" I kid you not, I had to tell her again that I was returning it.

"Do you have a service number?"

"No, do I need one?"

"Ya, you have to call in and get one."

"Ok, lets do that then, who do I call?"


"Uh, I am in Staples."

"You have to call the service desk and get a service number."

"Can we call from here?"

"No, you go to that phone over there and phone the service desk."

I am not amused, the boy sees this and starts to inch away from me. "I have to go over there and call Staples, a store I am incidentally standing in and get a service number to take to Staples, the store I am in right now?" She looks at me as if none of it sounded the least bit out of the ordinary to her.

I head to the other end of the store to make the call. I am ranting the whole way and people are looking at me like I have lost my mind, and believe me I am close to it. "If that stupid bitch answers the phone at the 'service desk' I am going to strangle her." She is lucky, I actually had to call a chick in India. I get my service number and head back across the room.

Same chick, "Can I help you?"

I realize it's not brain surgery, but for fuck sakes, can they get someone working there that has a couple of brain cells?

That is it. I am taking back the word retarded. Cuz mentally disabled and mentally challenged has been around long enough for me to have retarded back. I need to be free to pin the label 'retard' firmly on the forehead of who it really applies to. Stupid blond chicks who work at Staples.


Sherri said...

nothing in the world like a system.

It's too bad you couldn't paint a warnin sign on her to save others the suffering you went through.

kelly said...

sounds like she was a former walmart employee...heheh

Adam said...

Damn. You should've hit her. There's no way you would've been convicted of any real crime after telling that story to the court.