Sunday, January 18, 2004

And now for the continuing saga of...

As part of an ongoing feature of And another thing, along with tales from the Undisclosed Customer Service Center� I will be posting �Ways in which I torture the boy.�

This instalment will feature the boy and I having a conversation one morning at about 6am. I go in to wake him up.

ME: Rise and shine!
THE BOY: Get out! MOOOOOOOMMMM I�m sick.
ME: Right, Get out of bed. Your not sick.

He digs deeper, so I get in behind him and slowly push him out under the guise of trying to get comfortable.

ME: Hey! You should go turn on the radio��.maybe there isn�t even any school today.

Its Canada, its January, it is more than possible. The boy is laying on the floor where he fell.

THE BOY: You go check, please Mom.

We argue back and forth for a while, and finally he realizes that I am not getting out of his warm cozy bed and goes and turns on the radio.

TB: GOD MOM! Now you made me miss it, I got the end and it said no school in Truro.

He stumbles back in the bedroom.

TB : Will you go and listen to the radio so I can take a shower?
ME: Nope.
TB: Please?
ME: Just turn it up, I can hear it from here.
TB: No you can�t, please!
ME: Yes I can.
TB: Can not!
ME: Can too..
TB: No you can�t!
ME: Yes I can. Go turn it up and I will prove it.

He stamps into the living room, grumbling and moaning, turns up the radio and comes back in.

TB: Can you hear it?
ME: Nope.
TB: MOM!!! Get up and listen to it. I hate school! I�m too tired, I�m sick.
ME: Are you done?

He lays back down on the floor, face down. He is near tears.

ME: Hey, look on the bright side.
TB: What bright side?
ME: You don�t have to go to school in Truro.

This strikes me as hilarious and I laugh so hard my head hurts. The boy is looking at me like I have two heads. He is getting angry now.

TB: What are you laughing at? MOM! What are you laughing at?
ME: Well that would be one hell of a walk! And it is damn cold outside.

I can�t stand it, I go into the living room still busting a gut, the boy is still laying on the floor in his room. I listen to the radio and come back into his room.

ME: Good news!

He jumps up, looking at me expectantly.

TB: What? What? What?

ME: You don�t have to go to school in Digby or Cape Breton either!

I dodge some flying objects as I run from the room. Laughing hysterically. Ahhhh Motherhood!

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