And another thing...

What ever happened to the good ol� days of illiteracy?

People need to stop reading. Print, that is. This is the computer age for Christ�s sake! And if you insist on reading things you don�t understand, stop calling me.

�Ya, I read this article in an Unmentionable �PC� Magazine� that said Service Pack 1 will slow down my computer and I want the patch.�

�The patch sir?� (Service pack 1 is a compilation of patches and hotfixes to the program. It is, in itself, a patch of sorts)

�Ya, I want it.�

�When did you install Service Pack 1?�

�A couple months ago.�

�And when did you read this article?�

I quickly bring up the article (not his, but ours) concerning this issue.

You may experience slower computer performance after you install the 811493 security update package on a computer that is running Product X Service Pack 1 (SP1), or after you upgrade to SP1 on a Product X-based computer on which the 811493 security update was previously installed. This problem may be more likely to occur if you use some features of some third-party programs, such as antivirus programs. For example, this problem may occur if your antivirus program is configured to scan all files when you open (or you run) them. This is sometimes called "real-time" scanning.

�Yesterday.�

�And you are just noticing the slow down now.�

�No, everything seems to be working fine, but Unmentionable �PC� Magazine� told me I needed the patch. Can I have it please? It says right in the article to call this number to request a patch for free.� (If they told you to jump off a bridge, would you do that? Well would you? Please.)

(Ok, if this moron insists on reading)

�Sir I would like to direct you to our support page, where you will find an article that will answer all your questions (if you weren�t such a crayon) as well as step-by-step instructions on how to solve your problem.�

�I don�t have a problem, I just want the patch. The article says you have to give it to me.�

�First of all sir, the Unmentionable �PC� Magazine� is in no way affiliated with the Undisclosed Customer Service Center�. What we can do is direct you to the articles at our own site to correct your problem.�

�I said there is no problem.�

�Well sir, the sole purpose of the Undisclosed Customer Service Center� is to reslove problems with your Product X, if you have no problem then I can�t help you.�

�I�m not running Product X.� (and that in a nut shell is his whole problem, he downloaded a service pack for a product that he didn�t even have. Welcome to my world.)

�Well, Sir, the slowdown is only with Product X�
--CLICK-- He probably hung up to call his congressman. (ya, that�s it)

I think the first problem that this guy is having is that he is reading a magazine that should really come with a disclaimer.

---�If your mother and father were brother and sister, please do not read this magazine.---
---May contain words with more than one syllable.�---