Earth Hour.

Another successful Earth Hour. This year Earth Hour saved exactly......

Drum roll please.....

Sixty minutes worth of power.

Anyone else think this is an incredibly stupid idea? Right up there with carbon credits.

I was promised global warming.

Spring officially sprung four days ago.


Does this look like spring to you?


This is the reason Sammy pissed in the tub this morning. I threw him out and he disappeared. Had to pull him out by the tail.


I took pity and just opened the bathroom door for him.

I am sorta a cat person.

Screw the environment!

I brought out the big guns, toxic chemicals.

I knew I could not live with getting those mofo's drunk and letting them pass out and pass on to that great fruit basket in the sky. I am much too bloodthirsty for that.

I am willing to spray this shit on my food if that is what it takes to rid myself of them.

I am all for poking another big ol' hole in the ozone.

I want them to eat shit, choke and die!

Can you say 'over the top'?

The Beijing Olympics opening ceremony was quite the spectacle. Then why was I so unimpressed?

Thousands of drummers, thousands of dancers, all in sync. Fireworks, fireworks and more fireworks. Inside the stadium and all over the city.

All that, and what I remember is one tiny dot of light, that kept going out too fast or on too slow. I was thinking, 'That guy has an expanding hollow point bullet to the head in his future.' If I beat my dog long enough it will do the trick perfectly every time too.

Everything was just so over the top. Even the touting of the 'green games'. Kind of a joke, considering China has 16 of the worlds top 20 polluting cities within its borders.

Someone's overcompensating for something, don't you think?

What is pissing me off right now?

Let's see:

- Ants in my bedroom/office. I took me a day to figure out where they were coming from. Old windows, cracks in the molding. FUCK ME, I hate crawly things.

- Environmentalists. Just fuck off.

- Commercials that use cartoon animation to illustrate how their product works. "Oh, the pill causes those red arrows to turn blue, so it must relieve headaches too." What? Who falls for that shit?

- Wildlife. I don't give a shit how cute raccoons are, I need them to fuck off or I need them dead. Either way, I am ok with it.

- Not-so-wild life. This means the cats that reside in my home. They contribute nothing to society and they wake me at 4am to let them out. FUCK OFF! If I figure out how to off the raccoon, you will be right behind it.

- Gas prices. There is no reason for us to be subject to gas prices set by foreign countries. If we didn't have so many tree huggers, we would be able to produce our own oil or other fuel alternatives. If Brazil can do it, why can't we?

I will tell you why, cuz those nuts are hell bent on saving the Spitting Shit Fly of Nunavut, so we can't drill in the north.(just one example)"OOOO we have to preserve the beauty of the wilderness." Why? I ask you. I don't see them spending their vacations there, giving those people an alternative source of income. They are so much more interesting to see in documentaries, the shacks, the igloos, eating whatever they can chase down. (Not seal though, we have been over this) "Oh I don't ever intend to set foot there, (insert snotty British accent) but I don't want you to ruin it, on the off chance I might want to some day." Yes, Paul. Whatever you say, Paul. (kneel and kiss the $400 alligator shoes)

- Paul McCartney. For so many reasons, including the above. I could go on about him for hours.

- Oprah. I blame her for everything.



- Mac commercials. Vista is not buggy. Hardware vendors have just been draggin' their asses on driver updates. I have been using Vista for a year without incident. "Oh but you have to perform expensive upgrades to your PC in order to run it." Are you serious? Upgrading a PC is cheap. You know how you upgrade a Mac? Throw it out the window and buy a new one. Don't get me started.

- Drivers.

That'll do for now.

If they can hear a smile in your voice, how does my eyes rolling into the back of my head sound?

Forget it, I don't care.

"Thank you for calling the Undisclosed Internet Service Provider™ my name is blah blah blah..."

After trying to explain to the customer that if she turns off the modem, router and computer every night, she has to power up in a certain order or it won't work, I just have to put it out there, "You know you don't have to shut down the modem and router, the computer is plenty."

"Well, I am just trying to do my part for global warming."

Ya, instead she has two modems, two routers, 8 computers (one for every room in a house she lives alone in) and a dozen other peripherals. But hey, she turns them off at night.

Way to go, Ed Begley.

I wonder how much she is really doing to reduce her carbon footprint. I felt like asking her, but if she is like most people, that is probably it.

The only thing she is really doing to save the planet is the thing that contributes most to my irritation level on any given day.

"...home computers account for only a tiny fraction of your total household energy use...your computer likely isn't the biggest energy-waster in your home."

Mr. Electricity says it can cost up to $1.19 or as little as a penny per day to run your computer, depending on your usage and whether you put it in sleep/turn off when your not using it or whether you leave it on all the time.

If you promise to stop calling me to remind you of the order you must power this shit up, I will send you a buck-twenty every single, fucking day of your stupid computers miserable, fuckin' life.

You can come pick it up in your gas guzzling SUV. I know you have one, you ain't got to lie!

Doing my part for Mother Earth.

Since all the celebrities say I should, I have vowed not to let my carbon footprint crush the earth under its heal.

From this day forward:

I will refrain from driving a gas guzzling SUV or a Porsche or a Ferrari. Not that I actually own any of these but, the fact is, I will still refrain.

I will switch to a hydrogen powered car, even though there is nowhere within a couple hundred thousand miles that sells hydrogen or hydrogen powered cars for that matter.

Under no circumstances will I be taking my private jet on short jaunts to the Riviera. I will just have to settle for lemonade on the deck with the cats.

I will recycle absolutely everything. Even though using recycled materials creates more pollution than it would to produce the same product using the natural recourse to begin with, since there are 6 extra processes involved as well as 3 extra trucks on the road to collect all that shit.

I will not buy Beluga Caviar out of season. Since the shipping alone will punch another hole in the o-zone.

I will insist that my servants come only from this country as to offset the cost of fuel to have a coyote truck them in from Tijuana.

I will donate the extra forty seven million in my bank account to the Kenya Reforestation project. (I do what I can)

You know what? I am sick to death of celebrities telling me that I need to reduce, reuse and recycle when donating the cost of one of the upteen botox/spa treatment they enjoy to plant a tree in Kenya would offset a hundred regular-folks carbon footprints.

So, fuck off!

They are cute...but they are food.

They are just food. Food that, some people believe, if left to multiply like rabbits, would wipe out other food sources. Whether that is true or not, they are just food, and of course pelts. A "significant" source of income in many remote, coastal communities.

The seal hunt is not just a sadistic slaughter its a managed annual cull. Did I mention people eat them? I don't see you having a telethon for the cod fish, Paul. Oh, that's right, they aren't cute. (Oh and he doesn't pose with the seals that are actually part of the hunt, just these cute baby ones, who haven't been hunted since 1987, he almost got arrested for being this close one.)

So Paul McCartney thinks the seals are cute. Well, so is Bambi, but you aren't trekking through the woods of Tennessee and getting between Bubba and his ten point buck. No. Cuz Bubba would pop a cap in your ass. Whereas Canadians just ask you politely to step aside.

Tragedies have marked the seal hunt this year. More than usual and I can't help but wonder if they are truly accidents.

The Sea Shepherd Society seems to be more aggressive this year compared to other years, (most likely because of Paul) going so far as attempting to water hose sealers as they are walking the ice flows. This is not some cast-a-net-and-haul-it-in operation, you have to get off the boat and walk on the ice flows. Very dangerous work.

Then the idiot captain of the Sea Shepherd, Paul Watson, makes some bone-headed comment after four sealers lose their lives when their boat capsizes.

"the deaths of four sealers is a tragedy," but added "the slaughter of hundreds of thousands of seal pups is an even greater tragedy."

"They are vicious killers who are now pleading for sympathy because some of their own died while engaged in a viciously brutal activity."

I kid you not!

Oh, but they are surprised by the reception they get when they try to dock at Saint-Pierre and Miquelon. Sailors were quick to make them aware that they were not welcome and cut their lines to set them adrift.

I know the face of the seal hunt protest is a cute little, furry, white baby seal. What they don't tell you is that baby seal hunting was banned in 1987. (BTW, the seals' white coats disappear after four weeks, while those animals killed in the hunt are eight weeks or older) People really need to get the facts before they just jump on Paul McCartney's band wagon. But I guess if they did, Paul Watson would have to get a real job.

FACT: A seal can eat 2-3 kilos of fish a day. The population is estimated at 5.5 million seal. The quota for the cull this year is (I believe) 270,000 seal. For some sealers, the seal hunt represents up to one-third of their annual income.

It is not just done, willy nilly, its called management of the fisheries, Paul, go fuck off somewhere!

I should be ashamed?

Celebrities are always on about the senseless killing of trees. The plight of the ozone, blah blah blah. I recycle only because I am forced to, not because I give a shit.

Anyone who knows me personally will tell you, I purposely fuck up every single bag I have to lug to the curb. The cans always have something in the bag that someone will eventually have to dig out or will make that bag unusable by 'the man'. Something putrid and rotten. Just before I close up that cardboard/paper blue bag I throw in a glass jar, just for good measure. It is my silent protest against recycling. I think its Bullshit.

And if they catch it (they rarely do) they just don't take the bag. They leave me a nice florescent sticker telling me that I fucked up on the sorting. Can anyone guess why? It is because they no longer pay a guy to sort the bags. They don't even open the bags, they pick them up take them back to their storage area where they sell them as raw materials to manufacturers.

So, not only are they making money on this shit, my shit, but I am expected to work my ass off so they don't have to pay someone to sort it first. Don't even get me started on the fact that it now takes 3 trucks to pick up the garbage that one used to handle just fine and that my taxes pay for these idiots to come around and fuck me up the ass.

I have worked it out though. The compost people are even lazier. They don't even look in the bin. They roll it to the truck and hook it on, the truck does the rest. So if the recyclers put a sticker on the bag, I just toss it in the compost bin.

Anyway, on to my point. I did have one. The media paints me as an asshole for not recycling. Tree Killer! Landfill Filler! Like I am single handedly punching a hole in the ozone. FUCK RIGHT OFF! Ya, that giant hole has nothing to do with the two extra trucks rolling down the street.

Explain this. I just picked up a prescription.


The box is 2" by 4" and a half inch deep.


The actual medication is housed in not even a half inch of the entire box.


Keep in mind that this shit is not 'displayed' anywhere. The only person that sees this is the pharmacist (who knows what the hell it is) and me who doesn't give a shit what the box looks like.

Does anyone say anything to the manufacturer about the obvious over packaging?

No. They do not.

But I get a scarlet letter florescent green sticker for mixing my glass with my plastics.

I blame Oprah.

Who's fault is it then?

I don't give a shit if you are rich or poor, black, white or fucking purple. You know what you are doing is fucking wrong!

Gang-rape at Dunbar Village

Defense attorneys are blaming the government's neglect of the environment these boys grew up in. The poverty and crime they live with and the media's glorification of violence. That might fly if they were just breaking in and robbing, but they raped and tortured this woman and her son for hours.

Perhaps it is society's pension for explaining away the actions of our youths. Our own Young Offenders Act here in Canada as much says if you are under 17 you can pretty much get away with anything. Drug dealers recruit 12 year olds because they know all they will get is a slap on the wrist. The criminal minds of our society have embraced the laws, they know how to get around them. Every day we hear of people getting acquitted for horrendous deeds because they were 'abused' as a child or grew up in a bad part of town.

Give me a fucking break!

You do not have to be a Rhodes scholar to know that raping and torturing is wrong. The bleeding heart liberals are not doing the world any favors by explaining this shit away. People have to get back to basics. If you do something wrong, you go to jail. I am sure in the back of these kids minds they were thinking they could get away with it. And why not? That is what the media and the legal system is telling them on a daily basis. That is what their own experience is telling them, the assholes who hurt them got away scott free.

It's a catch 22. You have people that had to endure a lot of shit when they were younger, sexual and physical abuse and they turn into monsters when they are older. But if those abusers had been punished in the first place...?

So we have to start now, it will be tough but we have to before its too late. Before the criminals outnumber the rest of us. There has to be a clear message. You will be punished. Its easy to feel sorry for these kids and the raw deal life has given them, but where does it stop?

When do you stop making excuses?

Smells like hypocrisy...tastes like chicken.

You have gotta love the hypocrisy of the entertainment industry.

Live Earth is promoting green to save the planet - what planet are they on?

I think Al might have had good intentions but the idea of 'carbon offsetting' is just too ridiculous. Sounds good, but translates into retarded.

Carbon offsetting involves 'neutralising' the emissions you are responsible for by buying 'credits'.

A spokesperson for Live Earth says: "This might involve buying environmentally sound lightbulbs for a Third World school, planting trees, or installing solar panels in a developing country."

Are you fucking kidding me? I can blow a hole in the ozone, I just have to plant a tree in Bora Bora. Makes all kinds of sense. Sounds like someone is trying to appease all the real polluters, rich folk. After all they are the only ones who can truly afford to buy the ultra-polluting vehicles, jets etc...

Madonna, you yourself produce more than 100 times the average amount of waste produced by Britons in a year. But hey, no worries, just as long as you remember to pick up those light bulbs for that third world country on your way to and from your castle in your SUV.

I think I did more for global warming than any of them. I stayed the fuck home. Live Earth might have amounted to exactly what Bob Geldof and the Who singer Roger Daltrey predicted: a huge, offensive rock concert. Matt Bellamy, front man of the rock band Muse, has dubbed it 'private jets for climate change'.

Honestly, what planet are these crayons on. A better idea would have been to broadcast individual podcasts on the internet for free. Nobody travels, no private jets in the air, no litter, no need to recycle. But then, Madonna couldn't have gotten her ego stoked, live and in person.

Sad.

April 30, 2002

SNOW!

I know I harp a lot about snow in this blog.....
but FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
IT'S THE END OF APRIL ALREADY!!!

I am starting to worry about the planet and what we have done to it as a society.

Ya Right ;-) I could give a rats ass...but I am thinking that this weather might have something to do with this ozone thing everyone is screaming about. I recycle because I have to,(it's the law) but to tell you the truth its half assed. I make sure there is a few blue bags out at the end of the driveway so that the garbage man doesn't suspect that I have cardboard and tin cans in the black ones.

I know I should be concerned about future generations, but unless they find a cure for death, there isn't any hope of me seeing the earth crash into the sun or whatever the doom sayers are predicting this week.

What I am concerned about though is snow...I am sick of snow. The last three days we have had snow.

If April showers bring May flowers, what do April flurries bring?

Horrible dispositions.