Ya, sure you are.

"Thank you for calling the Undisclosed Internet Service Provider™ my name is blah blah blah..."

"I can't get connected."

"How many lights on the modem?"

Impatiently, "They are all on and on the router too."

"Ok, can you pull the power from the router?" It's usually the router.

"I have done all that, I'm an IT guy."

"Ok, what kind of error do you get?"

"Local area connection, network cable unplugged."

Guess what? The network cable was unplugged.

Another idiot who lied on his resume.

If they can hear a smile in your voice, how does my eyes rolling into the back of my head sound?

Forget it, I don't care.

"Thank you for calling the Undisclosed Internet Service Provider™ my name is blah blah blah..."

After trying to explain to the customer that if she turns off the modem, router and computer every night, she has to power up in a certain order or it won't work, I just have to put it out there, "You know you don't have to shut down the modem and router, the computer is plenty."

"Well, I am just trying to do my part for global warming."

Ya, instead she has two modems, two routers, 8 computers (one for every room in a house she lives alone in) and a dozen other peripherals. But hey, she turns them off at night.

Way to go, Ed Begley.

I wonder how much she is really doing to reduce her carbon footprint. I felt like asking her, but if she is like most people, that is probably it.

The only thing she is really doing to save the planet is the thing that contributes most to my irritation level on any given day.

"...home computers account for only a tiny fraction of your total household energy use...your computer likely isn't the biggest energy-waster in your home."

Mr. Electricity says it can cost up to $1.19 or as little as a penny per day to run your computer, depending on your usage and whether you put it in sleep/turn off when your not using it or whether you leave it on all the time.

If you promise to stop calling me to remind you of the order you must power this shit up, I will send you a buck-twenty every single, fucking day of your stupid computers miserable, fuckin' life.

You can come pick it up in your gas guzzling SUV. I know you have one, you ain't got to lie!

Of course we will credit you.

"I can't get on facebook."

"How about other sites?"

"Sure, I can get everywhere but facebook."

"There must be an issue with the site then, you can try again later."

"I pay you for internet."

"We can't control the content. You are online, our job is done."

"Will I at least get a credit for today?"

"For not getting on one website?"

"Ya, I pay for this."

Holy shit. Ok let's see... you pay fifty bucks a month for internet, divide that by 31 days, that's a $1.61 per day, devide that by the suggested number of distinct sites on the internet, 108,810,358.

I will credit this person for...let's see, oh ya 0.0000147 cents!.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Some people.

Crayon-ism. Not just for Americans anymore.

"I was moving stuff around and I pulled the mouse cable out. Can you send a technician?"

"Uh....this is the Undisclosed ISP™..."

"Ya but I can't get on the internet without the mouse."

Can you argue with that logic?

Same shit, different day.

"Thank you for calling the Undisclosed Internet Service Provider™ my name is blah blah blah..."

No hello, just starts right in, flipping out.

"I don't think that I should have to pay for this shit if it doesn't work!"

"I agree, what's the problem."

"Well I try and get on the internet and everything is sideways. It's been like that for a month."

"I see that you do have connection to the internet, so the modem is online and working fine. Do you mean all the web pages are sideways or everything on the computer screen is sideways?"

"Everything! I am not paying for this! Your internet does not work!"

"Can you do something for me? Can you hold down the Control key, then hold down the Alt key and hit the right arrow key?"

"You mean I have to do this every time? This is ridiculous! I want my money back for this computer."

"Sir, we did not sell you the computer, we only provide the internet connection."

"Fine, I will call the phone company, that is who I bought it from."

It's a DELL.

"Thank you for calling the Undisclosed Internet Service Provider™ my name is blah blah blah..."

"When I start up my computer it says 'connecting to Lindsay' but my name is Leanne."

"Where is it saying that?"

"On the little picture at the bottom."

"Are you sure it says Lindsay?"

"Let me check.....I guess it says Linky. But I don't know anyone named Linky either, I think someone is hacking me!"

"Could you look a little closer, does it say L-I-N-K-S-Y-S?"

"Ya, it does. Who is that?"

That, my friends, is job security.

First Day.

A photo journal of the bunnies and me, our first day on the job.

Had to wake up at the crack of nine. Not bad since training forced me up at 5am. In case you are wondering, yes I showered and yes I did shave my legs. Although these pictures do not make it look as if I did. But you older folk out there will recognize poor circulation when you see it.

This is us, working hard.


And here we are, taking a coffee break. This required us to swivel in our chair about 14 degrees. It was an exhausting trip through mid-morning traffic.



Most of the day, however, the bunnies stayed under the desk. They like it there, they play pinochle and chat quietly. And of course keep my tootsies warm.



Then a bit of lunch.



I will let you know how I manage this hectic schedule.

And another thing...

Just an update. Got my pension papers in on Wednesday (built up pension contributions from Undisclosed Customer Service Center™) and they deposited the money in my account this morning. They had told me 3-5 days and it was exactly 3 which blew me away.

I went out tonight to get an obnoxiously comfy chair for my office. I wasn't able to find the chair I could really be happy in, so I ended up getting this one.

Separation of church and state.

I think I might start another blog just for the work-at-home gig. You know, something I might actually be able to show my employer.

This blog pretty much chronicled my whole stint at the Undisclosed Customer Service Center™ although I had to take great pains to make sure upper management did not get wind of it.

I often though it would have been a better idea to separate the work shit from the personal stuff. But by the time I thought of it, it was way too much work to separate it.

So, I am thinking I will start the new blog with my first day of training. Put out some info on how it really is to work from home. Keep it clean, for the employer and then tell you how I really feel here.

This also might be a good opportunity to try one of the other free blog hosting outfits.

So, my questions for you:

What should I name this new blog?

Any suggestions on the blog host? Who do you use and how do you like it?