Communing with wildlife.

So, I have been having issues with rodents in my home. Last week one of my usually useless cats had a rat cornered in the storage room. After the initial blood curdling screaming from what I assumed was the rat, all was silent for an hour or so. I figured I would go check to see how much of the carcass I would have to dispose of so I drew back the curtain, the cat looked at me and walked away. The rat proceeds to leisurely stroll out from under the dryer and he was on his way.

Did I mention the cats are useless?

In another area of the house I periodically see a small mouse scurrying under the fridge. If I forget to put the top on the butter he usually has time to eat half of it before I catch him. I know what you are thinking...and I have traps, the mouse ignores them like that cats ignore the mouse.

So, this night I made a fruit salad with yogurt and there was one strawberry that was bad so I just tossed it in the sink, I will get to that later. Later came and I was clearing a plate with a fork from the desk and as I approached the sink there he was. The mouse? Rat? Hard to say if it was a small rat or a big fat mouse. Probably from all the butter he was consuming. Anyway...he was fat.

So, as I stand there with a fork in my hand he looks up from the strawberry he was eating and I have clearly startled him. However, startled skinny mouse moves differently than startled fat ass mouse. He looks at me as if to say, "That's just great" drops the strawberry and proceeds to do his version of scurry. 

A couple of jump attempts to get out of the sink behind the taps, then a leisurely waddle past the canisters. I know where he is going, I have seen him jump behind the fridge a few times so I have placed a mouse trap behind the toaster oven for just such an occasion. (It does not dawn on me that he had to have come up the same way and he was clearly able to avoid the trap) As he makes his way, the magic bullet is his last obstacle before he is home free.

He leaps once....falls back, jumps again....falls again on his fat ass. Meanwhile, I am standing there with fork in hand thinking....."Go!, get your fat ass over that thing and jump down onto the trap...fucker!"  As he jumps for the forth time he looks back at me as if to say "A little help here?" And what do I do? I take the fork and boost him up and over the magic bullet. I quickly move to the other side of the toaster oven expecting to hear the SNAP of the trap and the screams of agony. 

Not happening, a second later he is scurrying out from behind the toaster oven and gives me a glance before disappearing behind the fridge. "Thanks, mate!"

So now we have bonded.

This was not a few seconds of action. This mouse was fat, really fat. He was moving so slow I probably could have picked him up. This whole thing took more than a minute to play out. Now I am standing here like an idiot wondering why I didn't just stab the fucker with the fork.

Mad as hell and not taking your shit!

So, like any good greedy government, ours has decided they are going to try to ban electronic cigarettes under the guise of saving the children.

The bill as submitted by the Liberal Minster of Health is here.

It went to second reading and was sent to the Law Amendments Committee for input from the general public and interested parties.

I and others spoke. In person, out loud. I know, I was completely traumatized. I can type a mean letter, but I shook like a leave when it came to reciting it. This was my submission.

Madam Chair, members of the committee:

My name is Eva Campbell and I am co-owner of the End Vapor Shop in New Glasgow and Truro.

I thank you for allowing me to speak today on the matter of amendments proposed to the smoke free places act. Bill #60

Electronic cigarettes must not be defined as a tobacco product because it, quite simply, is NOT a tobacco product and in fact is in direct competition with tobacco. That being said, I submit test results that indicates that the eliquid we and other vendors sell has no tobacco content.  As the bill is presently worded, it is clear that the honorable minister of health is not aware of the obvious distinction between tobacco flavors and flavored tobacco. 

Looking at the list of 4000+ chemicals and known carcinogens in traditional tobacco cigarettes and comparing them with the 4 ingredients in the eliquid (none of which are tobacco by the way)  I personally concluded (albeit, not scientifically) that you really don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure out that this is  safer alternative. But you don’t have to take my word for that, in recent years, there have been an overabundance of scientific research that proves just that. And my business partner will supply you with that information. 

As vendors and a consumers, we welcome sensible regulation of the electronic cigarette industry separate from tobacco. In fact, we already self regulate, in that we refuse to sell to minors. We require proper labeling of the ejuice, child proof bottles, proper safety certifications on all our hardware  and independent lab testing of the liquid by a Health Canada accredited testing facility. I submit also our suggestions on regulating electronic cigarettes as a separate entity from tobacco.

What I and others object to is electronic cigarettes being labeled as a tobacco product. Aside from the fact there is no tobacco present in the liquid, we view traditional tobacco as a direct competitor to our industry. I personally object to the Honorable minister of health’s attempt to redefine tobacco to include something that is absolutely not a tobacco product.

This is like saying, we will be banning apples and by the way the definition of apples will now be extended to include... staplers. I am thinking Webster’s may take issue with that. 

I am perplexed as to why the Honorable Minister of Health thinks we need anything else besides age restrictions for entry to vape shops. That alone would obviously negate the concern that we would be marketing to children. Now, I am not a drinker so I was aghast to learn that this was not a requirement for the NSLC stores, which openly displays bubblegum flavored vodka and Caramilk cream liquor. (what’s more kid friendly than a chocolate bar?)

Flavored ejuice is just that...flavored. It consists of propylene glycol (flavorless), vegetable glycerine (flavorless), may or may not contain nicotine (also flavorless) and food grade flavoring. Even tobacco flavored ejuice is just that….tobacco flavored, not flavored tobacco. The distinction must be made and I think this is where the Honorable minister  of health is confused. Take away the flavoring and we are left with flavorless vapor. People don’t even drink flavorless water anymore.

Vapers may start off with a tobacco flavoring, but most quickly find  the flavor of tobacco objectionable. After all it was never the taste of a cigarette that got us hooked. The majority of our customers are over 40 and enjoy having a variety of flavors available to them. 

Clearly I am not a child. However, I enjoy vaping fruit and candy flavors. Tobacco ‘flavors’ (not to be confused with tobacco that is flavored) in no way appeals to me. Saying that flavors only appeal to children is ludicrous, unless you contend that all Canadians upon reaching the age of 19 exist on cream of wheat and water? I did not think so. 

Removing the flavorings from ejuice will effectively shut down the legitimate industry and send those consumers into either the black market or worse, back to smoking traditional tobacco. Today I can tell you I will never  smoke another tobacco cigarette, as long as this is an available alternative. 

Not letting the public see their choices in delivery systems (which incidentally look nothing like cigarettes) and prohibiting point of sale marketing would be crippling to our business. Again, this is not a cigarette where all you have to do is light the right end and go. People benefit from hands on demonstration of the product and instruction on care, use, proper handling of the device.

It is distressing to me that our honorable minister of health has brought forth this bill without the slightest understanding as to what this product is or how it works. Please, stop calling it tobacco. There is no more tobacco in this than there is in the coffee you drank this morning.

All I am asking is that before you jump on to this particular band wagon, you avail yourselves of the research that is available and make an informed decision about the inclusion of electronic cigarettes in Bill No. 60 and the proposed changes to the amendment. Please consider what this will do, not only to the dozen or so strictly vaping businesses in Nova Scotia that will inevitably be shut down, but also how this will affect the thousands of Nova Scotian tax payers that will lose this ability to continue on with this safer alternative to traditional tobacco.

This bill is old fashioned slight of hand designed to make it impossible for any MLA in the house (regardless of their affiliation) to vote against it. It’s battle cry? THINK OF THE CHILDREN AND GET RID OF FLAVORED TOBACCO ONCE AND FOR ALL. Then in the fine print it exempt the only flavored tobacco that anyone is even aware of. In reality it is a direct shot across the bow of anyone who tries to compete with big tobacco.

I am NOT a smoker, this is NOT tobacco and must not be lumped into the same category. I suggest that you remove mention of electronic cigarettes from this bill. If the Honorable minister of Health  would like to propose sensible regulation on electronic cigarettes as its own consumer product separate from tobacco, I am sure we would all be open to that.

The only thing this bill, as presently worded, will accomplish is the destruction of the most effective form of tobacco harm reduction to date and serves only to protect traditional tobacco from its only real competition.

Thank you for your time.

Until this legislation (Bill 60) was introduced, I and pretty much everyone I have spoken to was only aware of one flavor of tobacco and that would be menthol. Thanks to the liberal government I (and any kid that watches the news) am now aware of watermelon cigarillos. Sounds like the LIBERALS are the ones now marketing flavored tobacco to children. Great job!

So, after 49 people spoke (most against the bill as written, except of course the tobacco companies, they were all in.) what do you suppose they did? Removed all mention of flavors, including (yes, I said including) flavored tobacco.

Now the oposition is fighting to get the bill either thrown out entirely or to have menthol tobacco included in the ban. The Liberal majority government is digging in its heels.

What does this mean for our shop? We can't let anyone under 19 in the shop let alone sell to them. (not a problem, I hate kids) and we will no longer be able to 'vape' in public. Big deal.

We may not have won the entire war (that will come later) but we let the government know that we are not going to take their shit lying down.

Not for nothin', but...

I really hate to be a bitch during the holidays but this this was too much.

Bunnie was over last night and brought The Sister and I coffee. Mine was to be a Triple Triple and her's, one cream



I have no idea what kind of fucked up hieroglyphics they were using but I really hope Bunnie did not tip.

Why you should never buy a paint pen at a dollar store.

I did, and I regret it.

I thought I would put a little bit of silver on the guide of my printer so I could see better where to put the cd cartrige in. It was black on black.

So I shook the pen and pulled the top off.



Unfortunately the entire top came off as I was leaned over the printer.

This is the aftermath.



At least none got inside the printer, it just looks hellish. And it is never coming out of the carpet.

This is starting to get ridiculous.

Do they think we won't catch on? That the reason they are only doing 'high-risk' people is because they don't have enough vaccine produced as promised?

Since this all began we have had 1 regular vaccine clinic for one day. Then they decided to just do the 'high-risk' people. So since the first of the month it has been pregnant ladies and kids under 5. (Oh and First Nations) Checking out the website today, and they have added a few more sections of the population.

•Pregnant women
•Postpartum women including their partner
•Children younger than five (six to 59 months)
•Children 19 or younger with chronic medical conditions for which they receive regular medical attention, including morbid obesity
•First Nations communities

Okay, so they added baby daddies and fat kids. Big fuckin' deal.

They make it sound like they are actually expanding the clinics when in reality they know that the deadbeat dad's won't show up cuz they think it is a Family Court sting and the fat kids won't stand in line unless there is a Big Mac at the end of it.

Who are they tryin' to kid?

Everyone is effected.

I go to the doctors today to get my marching orders. More tests, or back to work? I had been trying to call all morning, but was unable to get through so I thought I would just go over and give her both sets of forms. She can fill out the ones she thinks are appropriate.

I walk in and my doctor is standing behind the desk. Sort of looking lost. She is usually in back and the receptionist (Rachel) filters us. But today she is just standing there, looking like she has forgotten what she was looking for.

"Oh, Eva...I have your test results somewhere here..."

"That's okay, I can just leave the forms?" She looked bewildered. "Where is Rachel?"

"In ICU with H1N1 and I don't even know who to call to fill in. The phone has been ringing off the hook."

After finding out how Rachel was doing, "Just leave it, let the phone ring, if it's an emergency they can go to the out-door (what we call the emergency room). I'll just leave these forms..you get to them when you can."

"No, I know I can find your file here somewhere..." She is scanning a wall of files. "Found it! Come on in."

She sort of seemed relieved that someone was there. "Uh, didn't you all get the vaccine?"

"Don't even get me started."

Apparently doctors and people who work in their offices are not high risk. Who the fuck determines this? I am not a rocket scientist but the people who come into contact with sick people all day, every day, have got to be high risk. Right? Again we all wonder who is in charge of this crap.

Anyway, after looking at my test results she is still concerned with my heart rate. So I think I will be looking at 6-8 weeks more of short term disability. More tests and specialists. I can do it financially, I have a great plan with my work.

Now if The Boy would just stop visiting me and cleaning out the cupboards before he leaves, I will be all set.

And the award for biggest A-Hole on the planet goes to...

What the hell is wrong with Kanye West? Who brought this asshole up? If I was his mother I would have dragged his ass off the stage by his ear. This sweet, country singing teenager wins her first VMA award and this douchebag, grabs the mike from her and basically says that she robbed Beyonce. That it was Beyonce who truly had the best video and should have won. And Beyonce puts on her best WTF smile. She was mortified.

It wasn't easy finding the video for this it was even taken off the Associated Press website. I am not sure who they are trying to protect, Taylor from the embarrassment, the producers of the VMA's or the asshole, Kanye. I have to see this so I am downloading it from Mininova.

But this is what I could find.



People were shocked! I mean really, this kid is completely classless. It was all over Twitter, as it was happening. Katy Perry Twittered: FUCK U KANYE. IT'S LIKE U STEPPED 0N A KITTEN.

And the Classy Chick award goes to?... Beyonce. When she was accepting her award she brought Taylor back on stage so she could finish her acceptance speech. Very classy.

(couldn't find a video for that either)

I heard that Kanye was supposed to perform after this but was cut last minute. I can't confirm that until I see the program but I can't imagine him getting anything but boo'ed after that load of crap he pulled.

Update:

Okay, so I watched the whole thing. Yup, KW, still an A-hole. But what was most disturbing was Lady Gaga.

Chick is not wound right.

Talk about scraping the bottom of the barrel.

Steven Seagal: Lawman - A&E TV

It's Canada, eh?

Looks like the money might be talking here.

Sydney River McDonald's Murders - Muise ready to be sprung

From Wikipedia:

Darren Muise is said to have invested an inheritance heavily in the tech industry during the mid to late 1990s, generating millions of dollars in profits from stocks such as BlackBerry maker Research in Motion.

Oh, I am sure this had absolutely nothing to do with getting him over 200 day passes over the years.

This asshole brutally murders and then cools his heels in jail (albeit with some day passes so he can fuck his girlfriend and take in a movie) while he becomes a millionaire.

Good thing he murdered those people and went to jail, otherwise he may have blown all that inheritance money on crack.

Poor choice of words?

Been seeing this commercial for about a month...



...and I seriously thought they were saying 'nut sack'.

Give me a break.

Whoever came up with this little tidbit, needs to get a life.

Are the American tax payers paying this guys salary? If they are they should be completely outraged.



One little thing from eight years ago. Taken out of context and now this idiot Tancredo is calling her a member of the Latino KKK. Unreal. Can you say 'attention whore?' Someone desperately needs to be on tv.

No reasonable person after reading the entire text (in context)would surmise that she is a bigot or a racist. Get a life Tancredo.

I wonder when he watches himself on tv, does he see how ridiculous he sounds? Did he know he was siding with Rush Limbaugh on a race issue? Hello pot, meet kettle.

It's BBQ Season!

Shut up! It is so!

I went for groceries the other day and all the grilling meat was on sale. Pork chops, steak, kabobs. Definitely a sign that BBQ season is finally here. So, of course, I stock up. After all, that is how I roll. I don't cook but I do BBQ.

I am lugging all this meat, potatoes and salad makings, not to mention the full tank of propane up two flights of stairs, dreaming about the feast to come.

I put all the groceries away, wrap up the potatoes in tinfoil and carry them to the BBQ. I hoist the tank into position and grab the hose to connect it and it comes off in my hand. WTF?

I look under it and it is all rotted out. NOOOOOO! I have all this BBQ stuff and now no BBQ. After five minutes of contemplation and the realization that even boiling water inside my apartment sets the fire alarm off, I head off to Wally World. There is no way I can cook this shit inside my house, I need a new BBQ.

I hate Walmart. I mean really hate Walmart, but it has to be done. I won't bore you with the details, but it ended in a standoff with the greeter. Again it ended with me informing him that he could only frisk me in the event the alarm went off.

Anyway, 7:20pm I exit the store.

I thought about waiting for The Boy to hoist this huge box up the stairs but, of course, I don't have the patience and I am starving at this point.

I crack open the box at the top of the stairs and my heart sinks. In no way does this look easy. Its in a million pieces. An hour later I only have the legs put together and I am freezing my ass off. So, I lug it all into the kitchen.



This would be much easier with actual instructions, but all I get is diagrams.


And this is just the first 8 steps, there are 16 in all.

At least it came with tools and a thousand screws. Groan!


Getting the legs together nearly broke me. Don't look too impressed, I put this together backwards, this is the second attempt.


The carnage continues. Sammy is not impressed.


Finally, at 11pm, (three and a half hours after purchase) I am BBQing.


I was freezing my ass off but it was soooo worth it.

Earth Hour.

Another successful Earth Hour. This year Earth Hour saved exactly......

Drum roll please.....

Sixty minutes worth of power.

Anyone else think this is an incredibly stupid idea? Right up there with carbon credits.

I was promised global warming.

Spring officially sprung four days ago.


Does this look like spring to you?


This is the reason Sammy pissed in the tub this morning. I threw him out and he disappeared. Had to pull him out by the tail.


I took pity and just opened the bathroom door for him.

I am sorta a cat person.

Where is Noah when you need him?

Was all set to take my car in this morning to have it fixed. That is my repair shop...on the left. Across the pond.


And this is my mechanic, on this side of the pond with me.


This person didn't make it too far. Flooding hits around the county.


Guess I am going home, since I can't park 'er here. LOL



MORE FLOOD PICS




UPDATE 1:50 p.m.: 3D Auto is flooded with approximately 2 1/2 feet of water and a large piece of ice has crashed through the bay doors. (Great, that is my mechanic. Might not get the car fixed tomorrow either.)

And we thought we wouldn't have fun.

Another road trip to Halifax for more training and Lenny and I are the only ones left from the original road trip gang. We were sort of worried it wouldn't be as fun without Pablo and his stories.

We were wrong. This time we had Bawb. (When you say his name you have to say it like you are stoned.)

We pull into Bawb's place and out he comes dressed head to toe in camouflage. Would have been more effective had all the pieces matched but they were four different colors and pattern. "Oh this should be good." I say.

Bawb gets into the back seat and I put the car in reverse and start to back out, coming face to face with him. I stop the car. "Bawb, what the hell is that on your chin? Is that a Fu-manchu?"

In perfect stoner diction, "No man, its my pirate whiskers." I give him the look. Since we last seen him he has grown his hair long and has these whiskers coming from his beard and they are about 3 inches long.

"You mean like Jack Sparrow?"

"Ya." And he tells me his pirate name which I completely forget.

"You'll have to get beads for it." I am being sarcastic.

"Oh I spent 300 bucks on hand painted beads for it."

I give him a look like he has two heads, "Uh, ya, cuz that would look less retarded."

He misses that. "But I don't wear them in the winter, only in the summer."

"Of course. You wouldn't want to look silly."

"Exaaaaactly."

It's all in the eyes.

Ever wonder what makes for a good animal rights protest subject? Think about it.

Save the whales! Not crocodiles.
Save the baby seals! Not cod fish.
Save the dolphins! Not cockroaches.
Save the Panda! Not Iguanas.

Its the cuteness factor for sure, but when you think about it, its all about the mammals.

And its all in the eyes. Look closely, cute baby seals, big soulful eyes complete with eyelids and lashes.

Forced to watch crap.

I never agreed with the whole 'Canadian Content' thing. And now they are trying to impose this idiotic rule on the internet.


For years our airwaves have been clogged with crap no one wants to watch but because it's Canadian it gets put on the air. There is a law

"With no regulation on the Internet, there's a big fear that all Canadian content will be buried by foreign content," Mochrie said.

Here's a radical concept. Make content that doesn't suck ass and people will watch/listen to it. Even people in the states. Imagine that.

The Boy is broken.

I get a text from The Boy.

Could you pick me up at the hospital after work. Someone hit me in the nose and the cops saw it and they are taking me to the hospital to have it checked.

What the hell?

Apparently he was walking next door from his house to the pizza place when one of his so-called friends came at him and hit him in the face with a pipe.

I show up at the Outdoor (ER for you yanks in the audience)and find that the cop has just dumped The Boy and left after he got his statement. The doctor tells me his nose is broken and most likely the bone in his cheek and there is possible muscle damage that will require surgery.

The Boy looks like...well...he looks like someone hit him in the face with a pipe. His nose is forming an S and he will have a pretty good shiner in the morning.

I start to tell the doctor that it was a pipe, not a fist, that he was hit with and she says, "Were you there?"

"Ah, no. If I were there the other kid would be here as well. With tubes and wires coming out of him. I would be in cuffs and there would be doctors and nurses running around saying 'STAT' and shit!"

So, I take him home with me because he will have to be woken up every two hours to make sure he is not nauseous and he needs to be back at the hospital at 7:30am for a CAT scan.

I don't bother trying to phone his father because he never answers the phone anyway. I sent him a text. I am told he finally knows how to read these. We shall see.

Too much?

Thought I would see if my brother Dave was ready to add me back to his facebook. After all, who disowns their own sister?


You think he'll respond?