Friday, May 9, 2008

Doing my part for Mother Earth.

Since all the celebrities say I should, I have vowed not to let my carbon footprint crush the earth under its heal.

From this day forward:

I will refrain from driving a gas guzzling SUV or a Porsche or a Ferrari. Not that I actually own any of these but, the fact is, I will still refrain.

I will switch to a hydrogen powered car, even though there is nowhere within a couple hundred thousand miles that sells hydrogen or hydrogen powered cars for that matter.

Under no circumstances will I be taking my private jet on short jaunts to the Riviera. I will just have to settle for lemonade on the deck with the cats.

I will recycle absolutely everything. Even though using recycled materials creates more pollution than it would to produce the same product using the natural recourse to begin with, since there are 6 extra processes involved as well as 3 extra trucks on the road to collect all that shit.

I will not buy Beluga Caviar out of season. Since the shipping alone will punch another hole in the o-zone.

I will insist that my servants come only from this country as to offset the cost of fuel to have a coyote truck them in from Tijuana.

I will donate the extra forty seven million in my bank account to the Kenya Reforestation project. (I do what I can)

You know what? I am sick to death of celebrities telling me that I need to reduce, reuse and recycle when donating the cost of one of the upteen botox/spa treatment they enjoy to plant a tree in Kenya would offset a hundred regular-folks carbon footprints.

So, fuck off!

1 comment:

Fyr said...

What the hell ....?

Self-righteous is too nice a word.

/sigh

I think I better stop buying that Beluga Caviar myself ... especially since I don't even KNOW when the season for it is.