And another thing...

ROAR!

Add 'Appliance Repair' to the resume.

This fuckin' thing decided that it would stop draining in the middle of laundry the other day. After two days of sitting in the corner, half full of water, you can imagine how pretty it smelled. The Boy was already tormenting me on my backup plan to have his clothes laundered.

I cannot ignore the smell any longer so I start to bail it out. As you well know, manual labour and I have a strained relationship (no pun intended) so after a minute or so I just say, "Fuck this, I am going to fix this mo'fo!"

Sounds impressive until you realize I have no idea how to fix it. But when has that ever stopped me? I gather what tools I think I might need for the job. All I could come up with is a screw driver and a flashlight. I had no idea what I was doing.

So I crack the thing open and turn it on. You know, so I can see what is not working. Brilliant, except I don't even know what I am looking at. I am on all fours, feeling very plumber'ish, I think I might have even had some butt-crack action going on. At this point I decide to turn the dial to 'drain'. An action that immediately activates this little doohickey.


Excuse the picture...it was dark in there.

I shine the flashlight at it, not really knowing what I am looking for but I see there is something in there, something dark. Again, not knowing what is supposed to be in there, I foolishly decided to check it out. So I unplug the machine and crack that puppy open.

Guess what? That doohickey is what contains the rubber plug that allows the water to drain. Ya, a flood of three day old water. As I am trying to quickly decide whether to jam the thing back on or just let it drain and hope that I can control the flood with the contents of the nearby laundry basket, this comes flying out at me.

Nice, eh? Like something out of a horror movie. This picture truly does not do this thing justice. It was slimy and smelly and I swear to God it moved!

Decision made. I get as far away from the creature and work on stemming the flow of water into the rest of the apartment. The water finally stops without too much damage. I sneak up on the creature, scoop him up and fire him in the toilette.

Convinced he was the reason for the drainage problem, I reassemble the washer.

The moment of truth. I fire it up, and IT DRAINS!

I have Mad Skills!