The end is nigh.
Well I am creeping up on my last day at the Undisclosed Customer Service Center™. While I will miss working for Bill, I will not miss the bullshit that is cubic hell.
Seems like this week people are just trying to make me go postal? And not even people that usually irritate me. People who I usually get along with famously are taking this opportunity to get on the absolute worst side of me.
When call volume is low, they take us off the phones so we don't fuck up the service level. You see the Undisclosed Customer Service Center™ does not get paid for 100% service level, its more like 75, but if we go over we don't get paid more. On the occasions when we are above 75% and there are no calls coming in, they have to take us off the phones to force the service level down. They can't send us home for fear that call volume will spike and there is no one there to take calls so the came up with this program that barfs out useless, politically correct customer handling training. Stuff like proper breathing and stretching, positive attitude...blah, blah.
In our department we deal with a lot of students and summer is our down time so you can imagine we have been in more than out of these knowledge sessions. We are long past having any left to actually do, so when they tell us to go into this mode they pretty much know that we have no courses left to do and that we will just be sitting there doing nothing.
Don't get me wrong, we love that shit. Sit around and get paid for doing nothing, but after a while it gets boring.
Back to the 'going postal' thing. Most of us are going into this knowledge session when one of the managers comes up to me and says, in his best Nelson Muntz voice, "You are banned from knowledge sessions." I was half expecting him to point and say, "Nah Ha!" It was a totally juvenile moment.
"Why would you give a shit if I take a call or not? Does it effect you in any way?" He thought he was being funny, but he was just stomping all over my last nerve.
Now these last few days, they are not letting anyone go home early and no long lunches. What this means is we all sit on the phones and do nothing. They couldn't even put us in the knowledge thing because the server was not responding. So we sit. And sit.....with nothing to do.
I doubt I will last through my last shift.