And another thing...

The clock is ticking.

So, I have been feeling funny for a week or so. But I was waiting to go see my doctor, I have an appointment this Friday.

Unfortunately, I told my sister that I was feeling funny. Bad idea. She wanted me to go to the emergency room, pretty much every day for the last week. She is all for me going but when she was sick it was around 3 months before she finally went in and by that time it was pretty much too late and she had to have a valve replaced in her heart.

Any hoo...

I have been taking early release all week because I just wasn't feeling right. Tonight, was no exception. But as I was driving home past the hospital I made a deal with myself, "If there is a parking space out front, I will go in."

SHIT! I was pulling in and someone was pulling out.

"Okay, but if there are more than 5 people in the waiting room, I am not staying." I walk in and there are four. Double Shit! Then I start eyeballing the guy in the corner. "That kid is huge, he could easily make two people."

Now I am not only feeling funny, but I am agitated. I am such a joy to be around when I am agitated. When I am agitated, I don't just think stuff, I say it, out loud. There is only one person ahead of me at admittance. I look around, "So, what do I need for this place, a credit card? Or do they take cash?"

I look at the clock, 10:15pm. Great. The woman ahead of me vacates the premises and I sit down. I give the nurse my hospital card and tell her my symptoms. "Here is the thing. I am not sitting here all night. You have one hour." I look at my watch. "Go."

She gives me a blank stare. "Huh?"

I lean into the window, maybe she didn't hear me. "I am leaving this hospital in one hour. Inform the doctor, you have until 11:15 to do whatever you have to do."

Long story short. I get blood work done, x-ray, urine test, blood pressure taken and an EKG. I see the doctor twice. My blood pressure is high (158 over 114). X-rays and EKG are fine, is sending urine and blood results to my doctor for my Friday appointment. I told him I was not waiting around for the results.

Dr. Sunshine has one facial expression...for every emotion. And they all look bored. It was really hard not to laugh at him trying to show concern. It appeared like he was really trying to make his face change expressions and it was painful.

Diagnosis? I am fat, I don't exercise or eat right and I smoke. He's brilliant isn't he?

Wow, I didn't need you to tell me that. "So, I am not taking a stroke or anything? Cuz I have a wedding to go to on Saturday."

"You should be fine for that. In fact I can guarantee you till the end of the weekend."

"Funny. So? Am I going to die?"

"Well, everyone is going to die. But whether it is in 20 years or 30 years, that's up to you."

"TWENTY OR THIRTY?....Good God! I don't want to live that long."

"Well you know...you could linger."

"Fine, I will pick up one of those Do Not Resuscitate orders on my way out."

11:13pm I exit the hospital.