Tuesday, April 10, 2007

F-A-S-T


I really need to learn this, I may need it if this training doesn't start making sense very soon.

The past two weeks have consisted of the trainer scrolling through dozens of modules of a 7 year old curriculum telling us either 'you will never see this' or 'we don't support that'. Never has he given me one piece of information that I can use to troubleshoot an issue with the new product I will be supporting in 3 days.

I keep asking when I am going to get some useful information and he keeps blowing me off saying, "Oh after this module we will move on to troubleshooting." Well time is running out. But instead he keeps telling us about some obscure 'cool' little feature that no one will ever call about since it is so cool. Oh, and did I mention obscure?

The last straw was today, I am trying to get him to let us listen to a call, let us listen to him take a call. Anything. "We'll see." That is as much as I could get out of him. Then he comes out with. "If you highlight one email and press the space bar, you can scroll through all the email as well as the body of the emails, using just the space bar. Go ahead and play with that for a few minutes..."

I can't believe it. I lay my head in one hand and I start tapping really hard on the space bar with the other.

Tap, Tap, Tap. Bang! Bang! Bang! Louder Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!

"What's wrong, Evel?"

"I - am - going - to - have - a - stroke, or an aneurysm."
Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!

"What do you mean?" Bewildered.

"You don't seem to understand how freaked out I am over the fact that you are not teaching me anything that I might possibly use on the phones." Bang! Bang! Bang!Bang! Bang! Bang!

I am raising my voice now, they are all looking at me like I have lost my mind, and I am about to. "I will be taking calls in 3 days and you are wasting 5 minutes showing me that if I tap this f'ing space bar it will scroll through the email!" Bang! Bang! Bang!Bang! Bang! Bang!Bang! Bang! Bang!

My vision is blurring and I can feel my pulse in my temple. "And it makes it so much worse that you don't realize why that would possibly upset me. I am about to take a fucking stroke!" Bang! Bang! Bang!Bang! Bang! Bang!

He starts backing away, smart man. "Uh, lets take a ten minute break."

I am going to lose my mind. Or go postal.

3 comments:

kelly said...

help, detect & repair. or uninstall reinstall. fixed! LOL you will be fine, read the KB lol

Anonymous said...

sounds like the company to me lol i am glad i freaked out and quit a few weeks back, i couldnt take the crap anymore... not just another number, now a pretty face too NOT LMAO
~shirl~

yvette said...

It could be worse really. You could be spending a whole shift learning how to minimize and maximize an IE window. You will be just fine :o)