Tuesday, August 14, 2007

The subconscious knows.

I am getting a call monitor review from my senior tech, Derwood. Basically he listens to the call and grades me on how I did. I usually spend the time arguing one point or another. Not because I disagree necessarily, but it wastes time. Time that I don't have to spend on the phone helping some schmuck. Plus it is really fun giving Derwood a hard time.

For instance, he notes that I used the word 'wonky', and that I was lucky the customer was British so he knew what it meant.

"Don't you know what it means?"

"It's slang isn't it?"
We are not suppose to use slang,

"Of course it is not, I would never use a slang word!"

I have no idea if it is slang or not, but I have a 50-50 chance that if it is not, he will change my score. So I act like I am absolutely certain and make him look it up. He heads to Merriam-Websters.

Drum roll please...
Main Entry: won·ky
Function: adjective
Inflected Form(s): won·ki·er; -est
Etymology: probably alteration of English dialect wankle, from Middle English wankel, from Old English wancol; akin to Old High German wankOn to totter -- more at WENCH
1 British : UNSTEADY, SHAKY
2 chiefly British : AWRY, WRONG

"Well it is mainly British, if he wasn't British he wouldn't know what it meant."

"I am not British and I know what it means."
As I am speaking he is frantically googling 'wonky' for another definition. His eyes light up, he turns the screen so I can see the entry for Dictionary dot com and gives me an 'AH HA' look.
won·ky /'w??ki/
Pronunciation[wong-kee]–adjective, -ki·er, -ki·est.
1. British Slang.
a. shaky, groggy, or unsteady.
b. unreliable; not trustworthy.
2. Slang. stupid; boring; unattractive.

He says, "It's on the internet, so it must be true."

"Oh please, Dictionary dot com? I have never heard of them."

"Ok, you pick one."

"Ok, if this next one says adjective, you will change the score?"
He is confident, he agrees. "Fine, check out Funk & Wagnalls." And I sit back, confident. He does not know what I know.
Main Entry: won·ky
Function: adjective
Etymology: probably alteration of English dialect wankle, from Middle English wankel, from Old English wancol; akin to Old High German wankOn to totter -- more at WENCH
1 British : UNSTEADY, SHAKY
2 British : AWRY, WRONG

As he is changing my score I am bursting to tell him that the site he chose when he searched for Funk & Wagnalls, took him to Britannica. When you search Britannica and choose dictionary, like he did, it pulls it from Websters. You will notice, although he did not, that it is the same, word for word.

Like shootin` fish in a barrel.

The absolute best part of this? As he closes the tool, I get a look at his desktop wallpaper and I lose it. I could not stop laughing. He is looking at me like I lost my mind, "What?"



"Crayons, priceless!" I continue to laugh, harder since he doesn't realize what it means.

"What? I think it's a cool picture." He still can't see why I would be laughing.

I can't stand it, I have to walk away. You can fill him in, Yvette.

6 comments:

OneFullHouse said...

I'm forwarding this to my English Lit professor who always maintained that WONKY was NOT to be used in communication.


I've been staring at the crayons and I don't get it either? Throw me a bone here, what is funny ?

Evel said...

I am surprised, I always refer to the 'stupid' customers as crayons.

Bryna said...

I hadn't heard of 'wonky' before until I worked with a girl from South Africa. I loved the word and have used it ever since.

Yeah! WONKY!!!

Val said...

I thought everyone knew what 'wonky' means! Go figure.

Oh well, you're not supposed to speak with a conflicting accent either. Hmmph - I know for a fact there are LOTS of accents at Orange and they don't necesarily get marked down for it. Calibration is WONKY!

Tell the ST that you were relating to the customer on his level and you should get extra points for it!

velvetzki said...

i agree with val.. you should get additional points for mirroring your contact.

anyway it was fun reading your posts and thanks for droppin by mine. i have added you to my links btw.

8)

Evel said...

If you need more clarity, Onefullhouse? Read the disclaimer