Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Don't get me started.

  • The temperature does not drop 40 degrees when you cross the border. It's called the metric system, the whole world uses it. Besides the US, there are only 2 or 3 third world countries that are still on Imperial measure. Get with the program.
  • Men who put their sunglasses on their heads. You can only pull that off if your gay. Ditto for flip flops.
  • Stop assuming I eat lobster every day. Dude, those things are expensive and they don't just roam free in the parking lot.
  • I have never even seen an igloo, let alone live in one. And the only dog sled I have ever seen was on TV.
  • Metrosexuals: Pick a fuckin' team.
  • It's called gun control, not oppression. If you see a guy with a pistol and he is not in uniform, he's a criminal. Simple.
  • CSI: They are always walking around with little flashlights. Why don't they ever turn a fuckin' light on?
  • No, Canadian is not the same as American. "Oh thank God you're American." "I am actually Canadian." "Same thing." Don't they teach you bigots geography?
  • No I can't see what you are doing, its a fuckin' telephone, can you see me?
  • Not all fat chicks are short, so why can't you make a pantleg for the rest of us. Shoulder pads don't fool anyone. I just look like a linebacker.
  • If you want me to fix your computer, please note that "Its acting weird" is not enough information to go on. And if you start the conversation with 'once upon a time' I will beat myself to death with my keyboard.
  • "The program has performed an illegal operation" does not mean the SWAT team is on its way.
  • "How are you today?" Is a fuckin' rhetorical question. I do not give a flying fuck how you are.
Ya, been having a bit of a bad week.


Canadian in the USA said...

I do enjoy hearing your thoughts ..

1) 40 degrees - But I brought my SKIs
2) gay - AGREE
3) lobster - what your brother/dad/husband isn't a fisherman
4) metro - i don't want them on MY team
6) Gun - pistol .. ha ha ha .. you are Canadian
7) CSI - but it looks cool!
8) same - actually my kids went all thru school in the USA .. and they DON"T teach Geography!
9) see me - lol
10) short - I'll send you my pant legs :o)
11) weird - what? you can't figure it out??? :o)
12) illegal - I never thought of that!
13) So How are you today?

Kevin said...

Canadian - n. Cold, disarmed American with really expensive mediocre quality "free" health care.

Evel said...

Kevin: n. American completely snowed by the managed health care/pharmaceutical lobby.

tomorrow said...

OK. So today is NOT the day to call.

But, my computer is acting weird.

Bryna said...

As an American, I agree about the temp/speed limit. Why do we use something that hardly anyone else does. Granted, I don't understand the conversion, so I'm glad they haven't changed it yet.

CS-I don't get it either:
Sometimes, they have their flashlights on in the bright sunlight of CSI: Miami!

yolospat said...

This was a GREAT list, especially about the dropping 40 degree's at the border.

Don't forget about driving 150 (no, that's not miles per hour)

OneFullHouse said...

You are too cute.

Here's another one: Don't you just love it when someone calls up and says "you people..."

Yeah, as if I'm helping that person out.

Fyr said...

acting weird; i get that too "umm, i can't get into program-x" ... silence. i want to ask "you want i should send you a jack-hammer or locksmith or clue?"