Review of the reviewers.
I was having a discussion with a friend over site traffic. Every once in a while I like to jump out there and see if I can get someone new to visit my site. After much discussion, he suggested I check out I talk too much.
The site offers "a loving review. If you are weak of heart or get upset easily don't bother. " Hey, that's me. So, I submit my site.
This was my review:
Plain template, fugly sidebar (including a FUCKING CLOCK, “local news” and 2, count them, 2 blogrolls), too many little pictures, boring writing and awful grammar (I was skimming and saw the post titled: “Just because your paranoid does not mean people are not out to get you.” and stopped reading. One of my biggest fucking peeves is using “your” when it should be “you’re” - not to be the grammar police but it’s simple fucking rule, learn it, live it.)
Constructive criticism? I don’t think I could help.
I had to chuckle. Finally, took them long enough to get around to me and I agree with everything they say. I was going to put up the 'I Got Smacked' button, but they also have a thing about buttons. I don't want to provoke them any more than my atrocious grammar will.
As per my friends instructions, I commented on their review.
1 - I like simple templates, too much color makes my teeth ache.
2 - The clock as well as the ‘local news’ is for my sister (the technically challanged) in India.
3 - What’s a blogroll and how did I get two of them?
4 - I added the counter last month.
5 - If you ‘live’ the ‘your/you’re’ rule? You need to get out more.
6 - Every single day of a person’s life can not be facinating, I am jealous if your’s is.
But thanks for the imput.
(I throw in a misspelled word or two for good measure. Although I am sure bullet points and the use of 'your’s is' will cause them to faint dead away.)
Immediately, I see more traffic flowing by way of their site. So, all in all, a successful run at I talk too much. You all should try it.
Just in case they swing back around this way, I thought I might add my own review for them, or rather let them know (if they are interested) some things their friends won't tell them.
No one goes to your site for your direction on what's good and what is not out there in cyberspace. (We like what we like. We like to read about people's real lives, boring or not.) Nor do people submit their sites for 'review' because they want your expertise.
Hello, let's face it, judging from the Powerpuff Girls/Cartoon Charlie's Angels template and the obligatory cartoon avatars (which I am sure bares a striking resemblance to your actual person) we don't really expect that any Pulitzer prize winner's are dishing out the advice on your site. (I am sorry, I probably lost them with that run on sentence)
Mainly you talk about color and fonts. Lose 'your' minds over grammar while using words and phrases like 'smushed' and 'all smudged and shit'. You chastise people over how ugly the template is and thankfully you give a person a hope that one of your alternate templates are easier on the stomach. I wonder if you even scan the content? Hardly matters.
People go there for traffic. Plain and simple. There is more traffic generated by your bad reviews than from the good. I, personally, got 35 hits in one day alone. Thanks guys. I am definitely on the hunt for some more 'review' sites.
But hey, you serve your purpose and in the grand scheme of things, that's all anyone can hope for.