Friday, July 1, 2005

Crazier than a bag of hammers!

It was an interesting night tonight. The usual bag of dumb as dirt computer users.

"Thank you for calling the Undisclosed Customer Service Center� my name is blah blah blah..."

CUSTOMER: Ya, I got an error message when I tried to open a file.
ME: What is the error message?
CUSTOMER: Don't remember, I closed it.
ME: (SIGH) Interestingly enough, the error message will tell you what went wrong and why.

(I wait, while he recreates the error. I tell him to tell me what he is doing as he is doing it.)

CUSTOMER: I click on this zip file, and it tells me cannot be opened because associated program does not exist. (can't remember the exact message, but it was something to that effect.)
ME: Do you have WI.NZ.IP on your computer?
CUSTOMER: What's that?

Give me strength. Next crayon.

CUSTOMER: It says, installation incomplete, Product A upgrade cannot find a qualifying product.
ME: Can you read the disc to me?
CUSTOMER: This product will search your system for a qualifying product for this special upgrade edition.
ME: Do you have a previous version of Product A?

One more...

CUSTOMER: I try and connect to the internet and it says - Cannot Connect to Server
ME: Who is your internet service provider?
ME: Who do you pay for internet access?
CUSTOMER: You have to pay for that? I thought the internet was free?

I kid you not!

And another thing...

Just had to share this call that a co-worker told me about.

Customer called in from Ma.cD.ona.ld's Restaraunt chain. He had mistakenly shortchanged a customer fifty bucks. He wanted the CSR to look up the person in the Undisclosed Computer Software Company� database so they could contact him to come back for his change.

After telling the person that was impossible, he became frustrated. You can do it, the Undisclosed Computer Software Company� knows everything about everyone.

And how was your day?


Who Knew? said...

again, the whinedows.exe file that installs with the setup of whinedows is the executive spy that watches computer users every move... ahhh hahaha good God they're stupid...

CallGirl said...

I had a person once who said she got a call from our company, it was on her caller ID, and wanted to know why we called her. She refused to give anything but her name (a common one), even though I told her we had four offices in the US, and it would be easier to know who called her if I looked at her account. She finally said "Just forget it". OK, I will if you will.....

Love your blog!