And another thing...

Wading in the shallow end of the gene pool.

"Thank you for calling the Undisclosed Technical Support Team™ my name is blah blah blah..."

"I am trying to put a vertical line in my document and I can't do it."

"Ok, just click on INSERT then SHAPE and you will see an icon that when you roll your mouse over it will say LINE."

"Ya, but that one is diagonal." Are you kidding me?

"Uh, only if you make it diagonal. It's a straight line tool...you can make it go any way you like."

"For real?" Give me strength.

"Thank you for calling the Undisclosed Technical Support Team™ my name is blah blah blah..."

"My son was messing around with the computer and when I opened LookOut Quick, it asked me if I wanted it as my default. I thought that was a weird thing to ask, I of course said yes. Now all my email are gone! All of them!"

"Are you sure you were using LookOut Quick before?"

"Ya,"

"Positive? Not LookOut?"

"Absolutely." After ten minutes of back and forth, me asking another way and her swearing up and down that she uses LookOut Quick, she finally yells to her husband.

"Honey? What email do we use?"

He yells back, "LookOut." She is silent.

I pretend I didn't hear him. "Just for fun lets open LookOut."

She clicks on it, "Ok, but I am sure I use LookOut Quick but..." Then I hear her singing, "Hal-le-lu-jah, Hal-le-lu-jah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hal-le-eh-lujah!" and she doesn't stop till she finishes.

"So, all your email is there?"

"Ya, now I have to go apologize to my son."

And another thing...

My friend Bunnie is vacationing on D'Nile.

"My doctor put me on two new medications, TWO!"

"Why?"

"My sugar is way up, [insert whiney voice here] He told me I have to give up sugar. But I told him [and here] it's summer, there is ice cream [yup, here too] and ice cold pepsi..." I zone out at that point. He is clearly being unreasonable, demanding that she give up the very things that make her most happy.

"Bunnie, he isn't doing it just to be mean. It's called diabetes. It's not personal."

She looks at me like Hammy from Over the Hedge as if to say, "But I love the cookie!"