And another thing...

Finally back to 5-1 peeps!

For those in the not-know, that means 5pm to 1am. That also means weekends off.

The night shift is more laid-back, however, all the crayons come out at night.

Take last night for instance. I got a frantic man who was ready to kill his friend for 'messing up' his computer. He was considering throwing the thing out and buying another one. He was flipping out. He has left a message on his friends machine telling him that he is going to kill him and that this is the last straw, he is a total moron and he is never speaking to him again. This goes on for about ten minutes before he even gets to what is wrong.

"Ok, let's take a breath, it may not be as bad as all that." It rarely is. "Describe to me what the computer is doing."

"Ok, I went out and paid three hundred dollars for this upgrade software and my friend put it in."

"Uh, huh, so far so good."

"Ya, well, he has totally fucked it, will I have to throw it out and buy another computer?"

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves. What is the problem?"

"Well, for days now there has been a blue star in the task bar that says this software must be activated!" Are you fucking kidding me? "He ruined it, that asshole, he didn't install it right and now it is not activated." I don't think he even knows what that means. No, scratch that, I am positive he has no idea what that means.

"So, what happens when you click on the star?"

"Huh?" I kid you not. I couldn't possibly make this shit up.

"When you click on that star, what happens?"

"Uh, you want me to click on it?" That would be helpful, you fucking idiot!

"Let's try it shall we?"

"Ok, here goes. It says 'this software must be activated, do you want to activate now?"

"And?"

"And what?" Kill me now!

"Do you want to activate now?"

"I don't know, do I?" How do these people make it across the street without becoming a grease spot? The 'friend' must be an absolute saint for putting up with this crayon. He will be so relieved to find out that he no longer has to deal with him. Christmas came early.

"Let's give it a shot." I almost add 'just for shits and giggles'.

"Says I can activate by phone or over the internet. I am already on the phone." Good, means he at least has self awareness, we are making progress

"Let's choose internet anyway."

"Says, activation successful."

"Ok, then. I will close this case as resolved."

"Is that it?"

"Pretty much."

"Are you kidding?" Are you?

"Nope, all software has to be activated, not a big deal."

Silence. I know he is trying to figure out how to take back that answering machine messege.

"Shit!" Ya, now his brain catches up with his mouth.

"Thanks for calling, you have a nice day."