- Telling a wasp/hornet/bumble bee to fuck off does not dissuade them from stinging you. Somehow, they just don't give a shit or they simply refuse to learn English. I say if they are going to live in this country, they should learn the language.
- Sometimes 'E' actually means empty.
- The second you loan your bootable xp disk to someone, you will get a blue screen of death.
- Subsequently, when you get the blue screen of death, your geek will be out of town.
- Seconds after you make the decision to finally backup, your hard drive will fail!
- Seagulls will fly 60 miles inland for MacDonald's french fries.
- No good deed goes unpunished.
- Mac people have a superiority complex and a false sense of security.
- Old boyfriends never die, they just pop out of nowhere when you have a booger hanging from your nose.
- Ok, a couple of mine did die, but I am pretty sure I had nothing to do with it.
- It really is all about me.
- Best way to a man's heart? Straight through the sternum.
- Cats will eat your face when you are dead.
- Every time you call tech support, a kitten dies.
- I hate the fact that you people don't salute me.
- Farting in a hot shower won't necessarily kill you. It will, however, make you wish you were dead.
And I am pretty sure the Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about.