And another thing...

Royal Wedding...Part 2.

I am sorry folks, but the Politically Incorrect Sisters were a no show this evening. Well one of them anyway, my mother bailed right after the dinner. And since Trin sat at the head table there was no interaction between the two.

All was not lost, however. Trin's son and her son-in-law both made what could be charitably described as less than PC speeches. Fortunately there were only three people there who could have been offended, two were guests and the other was the bride, of course. But the bride understood maybe half of what was said, so I guess it was ok.

One made reference to Sonny's fondness for the 'Dollar' stores and since everything there was made in China, it stood to reason his bride would be too.

The other made fun of how she talks. She saw a fish at the pet store in a 'fish box'. She couldn't pronounce apron, she calls it a cooking dress. And of course she pronounced BBQ, BEE BEE QUE instead of Bar Bee Que. Funny stuff, not really, but it was the best they could do.

All were disappointed when neither used the squinty eye actions.

And to reinforce the whole 'he does not deserve her' thing, for the first dance she recorded a special song for him, 'From this Moment'. And when I say she recorded it, I mean she actually sang the song. Thankfully, he did not reciprocate.

The food was really good. You guessed it, Chinese complete with chop sticks and fortune cookies. It was hard to enjoy it though, it was so hot and muggy. Fat chicks don't do well in hot and muggy. You know what does do well in hot and muggy? Mosquitoes.

We (my clan) sat next to the door to facilitate quick exits for smoke breaks. My people are smokers, deal with it. This was handy for that but also made us first course for the skeeters. I am sure everyone watching us thought we all had some sort of seizure disorder. We spent the night whacking mosquitoes off ourselves and each other, mixed with spastic hand gestures and screeches. Like something off the Discovery Channel.

Lucky for us, our bazaar display was upstaged by Big Eva's son (that's Sonny's sister) who decided, half way through the dance that streaking through the building was an excellent idea. He scared the children but I am sure he made his Mamma proud.

Thankfully, I was not bothered by people trying to get me up to dance. It sometimes becomes an issue. Usually ending with me telling someone to fuck off before I punch them in the throat. I can keep the beat with my head and do pretty well while seated, but somehow it just doesn't translate to my feet. I know this about myself, I just don't go there.

And you know that thing about white men not being able to dance? Same goes for Asian men. One poor guy was up dancing with his wife and his son was in hysterics laughing at him. I was too funny, sort of like the Elaine dance.

All in all though, it was a nice time. The kids had a blast, and everyone got home in one piece. Sorry again about the sisters, but that's what happens with live tv folks, you just can't plan for it. We can only hope they make an appearance at the next function, which looks like it may not be till November sweeps.

Stay tuned.