Monday, October 17, 2005

Dangers of sneezing.

Sneezing is the single most dangerous thing you can do. Avoid at all cost. I sneezed last night and fortunately I live to regret it.

Oh, I was throwing up at that moment. Probably should have mentioned that.

One other pearl of wisdom before I die:

When rushing to the bathroom to talk to Ralph, whatever else you forget to do in that moment, do not, under any circumstances, forget to turn on the light and fan.

These two items, while they will in no way affect the outcome of your conversation with Ralph, will prevent you from falling asleep on the porcelain phone and wake up unable to straighten into a complete standing position. The worst possible thing you could do, at that moment as well, is to sneeze.

Just a tip, carry on with your lives. Nothing to see here.

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