The boy is wired wrong.
I am getting ready for work Friday night. The usual, shit, shower, shave and shove off. I reach for the toothbrush (in a glass beside the sink) I add the paste, begin to brush and ....holy shit, what is that taste? I take it out of my mouth and I notice it is black. WTF?
I find the boy in the living room. "What is up with this?" I stick it in his face.
He looks at me like I should know this, "I cleaned my trucks today." Matter of factly, like it was a regular day in the life of the boy. BTW, in case you are unaware, trucks are the part of the skateboard that attach the wheels to the board. Like an axel.
"Are you kidding me?"
"Why? Is that your toothbrush?"
"No, why would I put my toothbrush right next to the sink, in a glass? That would be retarded." Is he kidding me?
Sorry, he says. It wouldn't have been so bad if he had used it and tossed it, but he felt the need to put it back in the glass next to the sink. You know, so I could continue to use it. He says he didn't know it was my toothbrush. Who's toothbrush could it have been? I am not running a flop house. If it wasn't his, logic would dictate that it had to be mine.
I get the pissing on the toilet seat, men are genetically wired for that. But some of the stuff this boy does, totally baffles me.
Using a roll of toilet paper a day to wipe his shitty arse. Is this because he is destined to be a big arsehole?
Leaving garbage on the counter directly above the garbage can.
Walking past the bathroom, into my room, to tell me he has to throw up.
Using a bottle of shampoo a week on half an inch of hair.
Cleaning his sneakers. Every night. With a face cloth.
Waking me up to remind me to wake him up. (You mean like I have been doing every morning since you were born?)
I guess you can chalk all that up to being male. But this? I do not get this.