Sunday, February 15, 2004

Natural Selection, there has got to be a better way.

We got through Friday the 13th and a full moon without too much problems at the Undisclosed Customer Service Center�. However, we did not fair as well for Valentine's Day.

Who calls with computer problems on Valentine's Day? Pretty much who you would expect. Just look up 'dumb as dirt' in the dictionary and you will see their picture.

After telling Dave I was NOT a technician, he procedes to tell me, in detail, his problem.

"Ok, Dave, what I need is the product ID, can I help you find it?"

"Uh, 0-0-3-e-l-q-r-..."

"No, its in the software..."
I have no idea what that number is.

"Ok, but I am having trouble setting up this email and ..." he is expecting me to deliver technical support.

"Dave, as I said at the beginning of the call, I am not a technican. I have to determine what software you have and then we can discuss your support options, what I need is the product ID"


"No, Dave, that is not the ID, can I help you find it?"

"Oh, here's one x0008ef...."
he cuts me off, why the hell do they call me if they think they know what they are doing. Don't try and fake it people, it doesn't work.

"No, Dave, let me help you, click on the start menu...", he finally finds the screen we are looking for.

"707-999....(he stops) but the problem I am having is getting my email to....."

"DAVE! In order to help you I have to have the ID, without it I can not send you through for technical support."

"Well what number do I call for technical support?"
Holy sweet Jesus.

"This is the number but I have to get your information and determine if you have warranty support and send you on to technical."

"Ok, the trouble I am having is getting my email to....."
Holy Shit!

What I want to say........"Ok Dave, what floor are you on? The fifth? Ok, open the window and throw yourself out. Thank you for calling Undisclosed Customer Service Center�.

What I do say, "Ok, NOT a technician, just read that ID to me and we can continue."

"Oh, I thought I was calling tech support, must have dialed wrong....."

Are you kidding me? He hung up.

I often wonder, how on God's green earth these people manage to get themselves a computer? I mean, they have to have some source of income right? How do they maintain that job?

I am sure at one point in their day they would have to cross the street and with natural selection, they should have been weeded out long ago.

So I probably shouldn't worry about Dave calling back. There is a bus out there with his name all over it.

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